It's just the way it is
by PablosGirl
Summary: Pettigrew was caught, Sirius will be free and Remus will finally have the time to listen to his heart...will he? Or will he be held back bis his doubts again? Too poor, too old, too dangerous...will Tonks be able to convince him? Times are hard and there are things ahead of them, things no one expects until they happen. Second part, following "What will be, will be"
1. Good Morning!

„Morning!" said the young Auror, beaming at Remus.

"Good morning, Dora!" he answered and stood lost in the middle of the kitchen.

Dora...this name left his lips easier and easier, whenever he saw the woman with the bubblegum-pink hair.

"We didn't even treat your wounds last night! Did you go to a healer at the Ministry yesterday?" said Tonks and snapped him out of his sleepiness.

Her wide smile had been replaced by a worried expression and she got up to step up to him.

"Oh, well...not that big of a deal," he said with a crooked smile.

_Good one...yesterday he had only ignored the pain._

At first the wolf had blocked it out and then at number 12 the joy and relief had been way too big.

.

"Remus...just let my take a look at it, okay?" Tonks insisted and looked at him.

"So keen on getting my clothes off, again?" Remus asked with a mischievous grin before he had even realized what he was saying.

Tonks however just looked at him faux-scandalised, unable to bite a big grin back.

"I...I mean, sure, take a look at it. Because...last time...you didn't mind either and...I'm sorry Tonks, I didn't mean to-" Remus stammered embarrassed but Tonks quickly stopped him by putting her hand over his mouth.

"You're talking nonsense, Remus!" she laughed and let her hand sink down again. "And no, I wouldn't mind seeing you with less clothes on."

A small smile flashed Remus lips.

"Oh come on! Don't act like you don't want it, too!" she grinned mockingly.

"What? Seeing you with fewer clothes on?" Remus said faster than he thought.

Partly surprised by his honesty, partly amused, Tonks grinned at him.

Remus' cheeks instantly started to burn and turned dark-red.

"I...didn't mean it...sorry," he mumbled and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair, avoiding her eyes.

.

Now Tonks couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.

"What's wrong with you today, Remus?"

Not knowing that she was still grinning, Remus mumbled something inaudible and bit his lower lip.

"Hey...are you alright?" Tonks asked softly and stepped closer to him. "You're still a bit confused, right?"

Slowly her hand rose to cup his face and she looked into his eyes.

He nodded, because he didn't have a better explanation either.

Maybe he really hadn't realized Pettigrew's capture yet.

"I'm sorry, I'm a bit...strange today, hm?" Remus said with a guilty look.

"What are you apologizing for?" Tonks asked smiling and shook her head. "For being relaxed and joking? For showing me that you're interested in me as a woman?"

Again, Remus started to blush.

"For flirting with me?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not very good with those things," he said to her.

"Well, I think you are, maybe a bit out of practice. Just do both of us a favour and be yourself and relaxed, when we're together, okay? I know that you're into me," she said and winked at him with a grin.

Remus just returned the grin.

"That's enough of an answer for me. Come on, let's see to your bruises," she smiled gently.

.

"I could actually do that on my own," Remus said and hesitated as he opened the buttons of his shirt, standing in the middle of his room.

"And what about your back? Besides...who knows when I'll get so close to you again..." she said quietly and more to herself while she took her wand out.

"Hey...I'm sorry I didn't have much time for you recently and that I had to keep so many secrets from you. This will change from now on, promise!" Remus said softly and stepped closer to her.

"Alright," she said with a crooked smile.

Remus had opened his arms invitingly.

When was the last time he had held her like that?

Last night?

It felt like weeks ago for him...

She slowly snuggled up to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

Her cheek was resting on his chest where the shirt had already been opened and so she inhaled his smell with a small smile on her lips.

The urge to be close to him grew bigger and bigger.

_What is she doing? Is she sniffing at me?!,_ Remus thought and a smirk flashed his lips.

.

Very slowly Tonks lifted her hand and stroked over his skin with her fingertips.

He flinched and inhaled sharply.

What's she up to?

But then he slowly relaxed again.

He just wasn't used to it...

His thumbs slowly started stroking over her shoulders in little circles.

Tonks stepped a bit away from him and carefully opened the next button of his shirt.

Remus just gave her a questioning look.

"I can't look at these bruises any longer," Tonks said and nodded towards his collarbone. "It won't take long."

Remus nodded and started to open his shirt again.

When he had opened the last one, he stood there as if he was lost and didn't take the shirt from his shoulders either.

"I like your body, Remus, how often do I have to tell you this?" Tonks asked with a soft smile, stepped up to him and brushed the fabric off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground carelessly. "I like how you look."

Her flat hands gently stroked from his shoulders over his chest and down to his belly.

Completely overwhelmed by her touch he flinched and tried to control his breath.

"I like your scars," she said quietly and caressed a particularly long scar on his side with her fingertips.

His eyes followed her with an unbelieving look.

"But we can free you from these bruises," she winked at him and took her wand again.

Remus however still felt as if he had just been stupored again.

.

Even when she had finished her healing-spells, he was still standing still and silent.

The skin she had touched still felt warm.

"We're done!" she snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Thank you," he whispered and tried to smile as casually as possible.

But Tonks knew exactly what was going on inside him.

She hadn't been the only one who missed the closeness and tenderness.

And she wasn't the only one either, who wanted to be near the other one so that no piece of parchment would have fitted between them.

But Remus was too much of a gentleman to tell her or take the initiative.

Not yet...

She knew that, too.

"As good as new," she smiled and quickly stroked his side again, making Remus smile.

She just took any tension from him with her fresh, relaxed ways.

He slowly put his shirt back on but didn't get to close it anymore.

Tonks was pushing him towards his bed and when the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, he fell onto the mattress.

_Merlin's beard?,_ he thought and looked at her in confusion.

But Tonks just smiled and climbed over him.

With a content sigh she snuggled into his blanket and looked at Remus, who didn't understand what was happening.

"Will I have to cuddle with a pillow, now?" Tonks asked amused.

Remus lowered his back onto the bed so he was lying at eye level with her.

.

He just looked at her silently for a few seconds, then he put his legs up, too, and lay on his side.

"I'll even share my blanket with you!" she joked and grinned at the Werewolf.

"Your blanket?" he asked faux-scandalised and inched closer to her under the blanket she was holding up for him.

Once again her relaxed temper had rescued him from feeling completely insecure and helpless.

Instead he put his arm around her and gave her smile.

Without hesitating she snuggled up to his side and rested her cheek on his bare chest.

Again, a warm sensation spread through his body but this time he didn't flinch anymore.

He felt her warm breath on his skin and started to run his fingers through her pink hair.

.

They had been lying in bed like this for quite a while and Remus thought about how great her touch felt, how he wanted to get more of it and how he never wanted to let her go again.

He thought about how she always managed to cheer him up and take away his coyness.

When had been the last time he had lay in bed with a woman like this?

To be honest, he never really had...

He couldn't believe it that this beautiful, young, healthy, successful woman had fallen for him of all men.

No, he wouldn't start with all this stuff again right now...that he was old, poor and dangerous.

He knew that but he didn't care at all right then.

At this moment, only the woman in his arms counted.

Tonks had already nearly dozed off, when she heard her name.

"Dora?" Remus whispered.

"Yes?"

_I love you_, he thought.

"Thank you," he said...


	2. as it used to be

**Hey everyone! :3**

**I'm glad some of you already read the first chapter of the second part and I'm looking forward to entertaining you in the future ;) **

**This chap is focused on Remus and Sirius and their friendship. **

**I hope you like it, feel free to tell me your opinion, I'll appreciate it :)**

** PablosGirl**

**PS: the chap I'm currently translating is fluffier again, so don't worry if the next chapters are a bit more sirius...*ba dum tss***

remusdora: Thank you very much for your feedback, I'm always happy if you enjoy the chaps :) But I'm afraid Remus will need some more time before he accepts his feelings completely...

danadanaBATMAN: Thank you very much, I hop you like the next chapters, too :)

Is A Bell X3: I wanted to use this exact sentence as my greeting for the next fluffy chapter :D But I'm glad you liked it and I hope you enjoy this next one as well

* * *

Remus' stomach made itself felt with loud grumbling noises.

He hadn't eaten anything today.

But he was still lying in bed with Tonks.

At the thought of it a wide smile appeared on his lips.

Outside his window it was already getting dark again, autumn days were short...

He didn't even know, if Tonks had to work today and yet he hadn't woken her up, he just didn't care.

Her chest was moving rhythmically against his.

He wasn't like that, was he?

But the togetherness* was just too sweet to be true.

But sometime even the strongest Werewolf had to eat something and so Remus gently pushed her off his chest and covered her with the blanket.

With quiet steps he walked to the door, closing his shirt on the way out.

When he entered the kitchen there was already someone there, like it had often been recently.

Sirius looked up at him with a smile.

But something in his eyes made Remus hesitate.

Was it shyness?

Sirius Black and shy?

"Morning Moony! I already thought you'd sleep in today, but I didn't expect it to be that late," Sirius joked, but it felt strangely stiff.

"Yeah...you're right, just got up," Remus said, trying to sound as confident as possible, which didn't go very smoothly.

_At least no lie in the proper sense,_ Remus thought immediately.

But at the next second his attention was focused on Sirius again.

He was sitting on his chair as stiff as a poker and was biting his lips.

"Remus...I..." he said but broke off again.

How was he supposed to find the right words for what he was feeling right now, anyway?

Endless thankfulness and friendship for Remus.

Satisfaction for Pettigrew being caught.

And the knowledge that Remus and Ben had risked their lives to free him.

And he nearly died doing so...

Last night numerous bruises had covered his face but today they were faded...

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Remus asked puzzled.

Now that he wasn't lying next to Tonks anymore, isolated from the world in his microcosm where he could give in to his emotions for once, everything poured down on him again.

The fight.

The danger Ben and he had managed to get through alive.

The, at first unbelieving, then beaming, faces of the other Order members.

The expression in Sirius' eyes, beyond description.

How should he behave now?

How do you behave, when you've settled an old score, which made you carry on over years?

When you've given your best friend his freedom back?

Plain and simple: he didn't know. And he felt as if he had lost any social competence.

But the decision was taken from him.

A spark of his old self had taken control of Sirius again and he did, what he had always done.

He acted impulsively.

Within a few steps he was in front of Remus and pulled him into his arms.

At first Remus was overwhelmed and just stood there but then he wrapped his own arms around his old friend.

Remus closed his eyes, felt Sirius' deep breath against his chest and the strength with which he clung to him, telling Remus he had difficulties controlling his emotions.

And so did Remus.

The last bit of distance between the old friends seemed to disappear.

_They had been glad to have each other after all these years._

_The hunted, fleeing "mass murderer", who wasn't allowed to leave the house he hated with all of his heart, reading and hearing about Voldemort getting more and more powerful each day._

_Unable to do anything, helpless, deedless..._

_And the Werewolf, misjudged and despised by society, without a job, without a home worth the name._

_Alone, the last pale shadow of his school time, the happiest time of his life._

_Constantly thinking about those he had lost and the happy days with them._

_And yet there had always been a certain distance between the two._

_Very rarely an old Marauders' grin had flashed their lips._

_Very seldom they had broken out into honest, hearty laughter._

_The times didn't allow it..._

_The certainty that Pettigrew was running free somewhere out there had always hung over them like a dark cloud._

_The knowledge that no more than a handful of people knew the truth._

A light shaking went through Sirius body and for a second Remus thought he was crying.

And he wasn't completely wrong, because when Sirius drew back a bit he started to laugh, at first silently, then more and more hearty.

Grey eyes met black-brown ones.

Tears of laughter were sparkling in the corner of Sirius' eyes and it didn't take long until Remus joined in, too.

"Thank you! I...I don't know what to say, Remus...just thank you so much! You know how much all this means to me," Sirius said quietly, when they had calmed down again, and he looked years younger.

"I know...and you don't have to thank me. At least not only me. Without Ben I would be lying in Knockturn Alley right now, torn into pieces, and Pettigrew would be long gone...you would've done the same. We both had an old score to settle with that rat. Your rehabilitation is just a small, nice side effect," Remus said and winked at him with a smirk.

They slowly let go of each other and started to grin.

"So, what's going to happen next?" Remus asked into the silence.

"You're asking me? You're the big planner, I never planned anything, you know that!" Sirius answered with a crooked grin.

Then suddenly, Remus stomach uttered another lion-like grumble.

"Okay, how about you eat something as a first step?" Sirius said amused.

"Great idea!" he answered and already turned around to the kitchen counter, but Sirius raised his voice again.

"Oh, yeah...Remus? I don't want to be impolite or anything, but I think you're buttoned up the wrong way," Sirius said with a smirk.

With a puzzled expression Remus looked down at himself and blushed.

He had buttoned his shirt completely wrong, making him look ridiculous...

_Damnit, why are you blushing right now? He can't even know why you closed you shirt just a few minutes ago_, Remus thought annoyed with himself.

"Yeah, I...just got out of bed...tired..." he mumbled and got even redder.

"Calm down, Remus! No need to be ashamed!" Sirius joked. "Unless..."

"Unless what? What, Sirius?!" Remus asked way too quickly and nervously.

Yes, it was as it used to be again.

He was the shy school boy once again.

"Well, unless it has something to do with a special pink-haired witch I haven't seen yet today," Sirius said achingly slow.

Remus wished the world would open and swallow him up...but why?

He knew what had happened.

They had cuddled a bit, taken a nap, that was all.

He just had to tell Sirius.

And even if...hadn't it been Sirius who had been encouraging Remus to take the initiative the whole time?

But Remus couldn't change his ways...

And so he inhaled deeply and leant onto the chair next to Sirius.

"Listen, we just spent some time together...cuddling...stop grinning like that you prick! She insisted on treating my bruises. Then she suddenly got so thoughtful and told me how little time I had left for her recently. So I promised her to change that and, well...then we cuddled and she fell asleep. She's still upstairs in my bed..." Remus explained, annoyed at first and then more and more softly.

"You really like her, don't you?" Sirius asked quietly.

He hadn't missed the gentle smile on Remus' lips.

_Maybe he'll finally realize maybe she brought him to his senses,_ thought the Animagic.

Eventually Remus sat down with his food in front of him and looked at Sirius again.

"Yes, I really like her...even more than that, I guess," Remus said and couldn't bite back another small smile.

Sirius patted his shoulder and went quiet for a while, letting Remus eat in peace.

"Where did we leave off?" Remus eventually broke the silence when he had finished.

"What's going to happen next..." mumbled Sirius.

But at the same second as Sirius had ended his sentence, a big post-owl scratched on the window.

Sirius jumped up and let it in, took the official-looking envelope off of her and rewarded it with a owl-biscuit.

"What does it say?" asked Remus annoyed after Sirius had read the whole letter in silence.

"I think we can forget about our questions," said Sirius with a small smile and handed him the letter:

_"Dear Mr. Black,_

_Due to the capture of Peter Pettigrew yesterday night the Department of Magical Law Enforcement decided to cease your search and review your case._

_Please be present for this concern at the Ministry of Magic at the 10__th__ of November. _

_With kind regards,_

_Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement "_

* * *

_*[really? Is there no nicer word than togetherness? Screw you, internet dictionary!]_


	3. waiting for it

**Here's another chapter for you! **

**Why? Because thank Merlin it's friday! :D**

** PablosGirl**

* * *

"Hey..." said Tonks softly and snapped Remus out of his thoughts, when he entered his room again around seven in the evening.

"You're awake," he said with a smile and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"For quite a while, to be honest...but your bed's just too cosy," she said grinning and stretched in between the pillows.

Remus blushed...as always recently.

"I thought about looking for you but I was afraid I could bump into Sirius," she added.

Unwittingly Remus' smile faded and he lowered his gaze.

He should've known better, she was embarrassed...

"Come on, you know his blather. I didn't want him to annoy me...the last hours have been way too nice to get spoiled by him," she said winking.

Remus looked at her again in surprise.

Now her cheeks started to redden...

"I've got good news," Remus eventually said into the silence.

It hadn't been awkward, but he wanted to tell her about it.

"A letter arrived. The trial will be in less than a week..."

"Which trial?" she asked honestly confused.

_Well, she is a bit clumsy, indeed_, Remus thought gently, but at the next moment he realized that her question wasn't even that senseless.

"Well...Sirius' trial. About his rehabilitation...or...I'm not quite sure, actually. Maybe they'll decide over Pettigrew's sentence, too," Remus answered pensively.

"Remus...it might be your trial, too...yours and Ben's," Tonks said quietly.

She wasn't sure if he understood what she meant.

"What do you mean?" he asked one moment later and looked at her with knitted brows.

"You attacked two Death Eaters in the middle of the street...you know Malfoy's connections to the Ministry...even though I think he would do well to keep his nose out of this..." Tonks said worriedly.

But Remus only smiled softly at her.

_Does he still not get what I'm talking about?!,_ she thought.

"Don't worry, Dora, alright? I know the legal situation quite well. We attacked two wizards, yes. But they were Death Eaters, multiple killers, and we caught one of them. That doesn't make it a criminal act in the proper sense anymore. If Pettigrew's found guilty, Ben and I won't be accused of anything anymore. And he will be. There's enough evidence to it. He being alive is evidence enough! And about Malfoy...anyone who's in contact with Death Eaters without investigating them is indirectly a criminal. Aside from the fact that you can spare the indirect with Malfoy... " Remus tried to calm Tonks down.

"If you say so..." she said sighing, but her eyes started to shine suspiciously.

He looked at her tenderly and pulled her into his arms.

"Come here," he said and stroked over her light-pink hair.

"It's just...I only just won you over...I don't want anybody to take you away from me again," she mumbled in his still wrongly buttoned shirt and was happy that she could hide her red cheeks at his chest.

_Why am I so shy? Usually he's the reserved one while I am flinging ambiguous remarks around me..., _she thought but his scent quickly stopped her musing.

A grin flashed Remus' lips, when he heard her words and he felt the sudden urge to be even closer to her.

"You won't get rid of me too soon, wolves need their pack, you know..." he said and kissed her hair intuitively.

Heavy hearted she left his room a few minutes later to go into her own room.

A whole stack of unfinished reports were waiting for her.

Sure, she could've finished them without any stress over the day.

But the hours she had spent with Remus were definitely worth it.

Now she was sitting over her papers at her desk and smirked silently.

Soon Sirius would be a free man again and soon Remus would allow more and more closeness, she was sure about it.

Remus...

The thought of the man with the numerous silver scars, the wild and yet gently eyes, made her feel warm all over.

Yes, she clearly liked him more than much.

The centre of her thoughts had gotten rid of his wrongly buttoned shirt in the meantime and lay sleeping in his bed, which still smelled wonderfully like Tonks.

And so time flew.

Tonks had a lot of work in the Ministry and didn't bother to worry when she got home in the evening tired.

Remus managed to suppress his feelings very well, as always.

He just forbade himself the thought that something might not work out the way it was supposed to.

And Sirius...

Sirius was walking around number 12 humming and whistling.

He literally behaved like a happy dog, which was looking forward to going for a walk.

Nothing could mar his mood, except for the fact that Tonks and Remus still didn't allow him to leave the house, maybe...

_"Sirius...you can't do that! They maybe wrote that they're not hunting you anymore, but how do you think will people react when they suddenly come across Sirius Black on their Sunday stroll?" Tonks tried to explain to the moody Animagic._

_"She's right, Sirius..." said Remus, trying to help the annoyed Tonks. "It's still too risky. Most people didn't realize you're not a mass murderer anymore yet. Just imagine the chaos you would cause. Do yourself the favour and enjoy your first steps as a free man when it's time, alright Padfoot?" _

_He looked at his friend compassionately and patted his shoulder. _

_"I know you're right...I just want to walk around the city like any other human being...not like a flea taxi..." he mumbled, partly moody, partly smirking._

For Tonks those days felt like hours.

All those evenings at her desk, a huge pile of paperwork in front of her, flew by in no time.

Every now and then Remus would come to her rescue to take her mind off the dull work for a few minutes.

And the paperwork had gotten much more recently...there was an important trial coming up at the Ministry and it was the Aurors' duty to work out a safety plan.

Often Remus would bring her a cup of tea or hot chocolate, sitting by her side for a few minutes.

"My hero!" she cheered with a sweeping gesture.

"Don't worry, I won't block your productivity for too long," he joked, making her sigh and pout.

But this morning seemed to be quite the contrary because everything seemed to move with lightning speed.

Everyone was scurrying through the house to look for something, Sirius had to be shoved into some proper clothes and Remus nearly lost his nerves over it.

"Sirius, if you show up with jeans and a t-shirt they'll throw you back into Azkaban without any further questions! Do me a favour and put this bloody shirt on, you git!" Remus growled annoyed, leaning his forehead onto the door he was speaking to.

"Relax, Moony..." Sirius said amused and appeared in the door, buttoning up his black shirt.

Remus stumbled back in surprise, trying to keep his balance, an shot him an angry glare.

"Easy boys! You'll need your energy for the trial," said Dumbledore gently. "No time to fight!"

"I should leave, duty calls," said Tonks and swallowed her last sip of tea. "See you in half an hour, keep your chin up, Remus."

She winked at him and left.

"As long as it's just your chin pointing towards the sky..." mumbled Sirius to himself with a wide grin and Remus shot him the worst glare of the day which not even Pettigrew would be able to top.

"Believe me, Sirius, one more stupid remark and not even Dumbledore will be able to help you as soon as we leave this courtroom!" growled Remus.

Fifteen minutes later the two friends arrived at the Ministry with Dumbledore.

Gaping followed them wherever they went, but Sirius didn't care at all right then.

It seemed as if the Ministry clerks were walking the corridors especially slowly today and somehow many of them went the same way as the peculiar trio.

In front of the courtroom they met Ben, who was already waiting nervously for the trial to begin.

"No need to worry, Ben!" Dumbledore said calmly. "There's less to fear for you than you believe."

These words made Remus relax a bit, too, even though he would have never admitted he was worried about their role in this case.

At least he had tried to talk Tonks out of her worries...

But he didn't even get to think about it again because at this moment a big double door was opened with a loud cracking noise next to them.

"You are asked to enter the witness stand, the trial will begin soon," said a clerk distantly and held the door open for them.


	4. the trial I

**Hello everyone, I hope you are all having a nice weekend! :) **

**The next chaps will be about the trial. I divided it into three chaps so it wouldn't be too long. **

**I really hope that you don't get bored reading it because it's mainly set in the court room. **

**As you probably already know: I'm not a native speaker.**

**I always try to write in a rather colloquial style but I had some problems with the formal language spoken in a court room and the words and phrases connected to it. **

**So don't get confused if it sounds a bit...odd ;) **

**I hope you enjoy it and I really appreciate it if you leave me a comment/review. **

**I'm always curious if you liked it, what you did/didn't like and so on...**

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: As always I'm happy you liked the chapters! I'm always trying to write some funnier scenes into the chapters like the banters between Remus and Sirius. I'm really curious about your opinion on the trial chaps :) Yes, I just wanted Sirius to be free because there are so many things connected to it like Remus risking his life for him, some funnier/fluffier scenes later...I'm afraid I can't make everyday a friday, but I think I'll upload all the trial chaps today or at least on this weekend!

danadanaBATMAN: awwww yeah! So much drama ahead of you ;) I hope you like it!

* * *

In front of the four men the huge wooden benches were filled with Wizengamot-members.

The walls were made of cold, dark stone, but Sirius didn't have eyes for anything of that.

For a few seconds his recent happiness and anticipation was blown away and he froze, looking at the high back of the chained chair in the middle of the court room.

He had already sat there before...

Would he have to sit there again today?

Would they chain him like then?

Would there be Dementors guarding him again?

No...

But what if everything went different than expected?

What if they really sent him back to Azkaban?!

"Hey!" he heard a familiar voice say calmly, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he turned his head in shock to look at the hand grasping his arm.

Remus looked at him with a frown.

"Are you alright? Everything's going to be fine, Sirius, don't worry," said Remus, trying to calm the obviously frightened man down.

But he hadn't sounded much more confident either.

Numerous eyes were watching them from the Gamot-stand and whispering floated to them.

Slowly but surely the bench got crowded as more and more Wizengamot-members entered the stand and Sirius couldn't remember if it had been that full when he was summoned to court all these years ago.

One minute later Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the court room and came up to them.

Sirius had strictly disapproved involving them but in the end they were important witnesses.

They would be able to tell about what happened during their third year.

"Hey Sirius! How are you?" asked Harry and smiled at his godfather while Ron and Hermione greeted Remus, who introduced them to Ben.

"I'm fine...you? Dumbledore told me about your dreams. You have to promise me you'll make an effort during your lessons with Snape, okay?"

Surprised by Sirius' seriousness Harry nodded and sat down next to him to wait for the trial to begin.

"Do you think they'll try to get us into trouble because of anything we've done, Remus?" asked Ben nervously at the other end of the witness bench.

"Not really, but this one," said Remus and nodded towards the Wizengamot-stand, where a toad-faced woman with pink clothes under her dark-purple robe had just arrived, a sugary smile on her wide toad-lips. "She might try to give us a hard time."

"What...what do you mean?" asked Ben and rubbed his sweaty cold hands.

But before Remus could have answered a serious looking woman stood up at the Gamot-stand.

.

Amelia Bones looked around the court room for a few seconds and any whisper or mumble vanished.

"Hereby I initiate the trial of the case Peter Pettigrew."

The room was completely silent by now and even the last one had hushed.

Remus looked up at Amelia Bones while Ben's eyes darted from one purple robe to the next.

Sirius was clenching his teeth, his jaw muscles visibly strained, and just looked at the opposite stone wall to avoid the looks Harry gave him from time to time.

"Mr. Batterby, please give the Aurors the sign," Bones said a bit softer to the clerk at the door.

The latter nodded briefly and left the room for a few seconds.

All eyes were on the door now, through which Batterby entered again, followed by about half a dozen other people.

A hissing and whispering filled the room when Pettigrew entered, escorted by five impressively official looking Aurors.

All five were pointing their wands at him and kept him in magic manacles.

Pettigrew looked around with a haunted look in his watery eyes.

The rat-ish side of him was hard to ignore.

Sirius was clenching his fists again and again, biting his lower lip.

So there he was, their old "friend".

He, who he owed all those years in Azkaban to, who had killed his best friend and eventually destroyed his whole life.

For a second he managed to unlock his eyes off him and looked at Harry.

.

The boy was clenching his teeth, too, and stared at Pettigrew.

This whole situation wasn't easy for him either...

Hermione had put her hand on his forearm and looked at Pettigrew with a mixture of reserve and disdain, while the small man was chained to the chair.

Ron however looked at him with pure disgust.

_That's what he must look like when he sees a spider_, thought Sirius and the hint of a smile flashed his lips for a second.

But who can blame him?

The poor guy had been sharing his bed with an Animagic for years...

When Sirius looked to the other side he spotted Ben's face, which had become quite familiar to him by now.

Remus always had had a good insight in human nature, that's for sure.

Ben had really proven to be a loyal friend and was quite likeable, too.

But now his face was showing insecurity and tension.

The sight of Pettigrew didn't seem to bother him too much, but his eyes flickered back to the Wizengamot-stand every few seconds.

But it was the sight of Remus, which surprised Sirius the most.

He didn't look rather nervous and nothing indicated his anger towards Pettigrew.

Was he even looking at this rat?

Remus looked a bit surprised and...was he smiling?

Yes, a tiny smile had appeared on his lips, barely noticeable if one didn't look closely.

And Sirius was right, Remus' eyes were really focused on something else but Pettigrew.

.

Of course he had looked at him when he had entered and yet he had felt no raging anger but a strange satisfaction.

Maybe it was because he had been focusing all his emotions, all his energy, on catching him during the last weeks?

Remus didn't know but something else had already caught his eye.

The Aurors, among them Mad-Eye and Kingsley, had started to chain Pettigrew to the chair, not letting any familiarity to the witnesses show.

Their gear and the sturdily built figure of most of them made them look even more impressive.

Let alone Moody's crazy appearance...

They were wearing dark, nearly floor-length cloaks with a protective gear under it, which they probably wore on field missions, too.

Their chests and forearms were covered in tooled leather armouring, which was nearly as dark as their cloaks.

And nothing would have fallen out of this alignment if it weren't for a pink ponytail standing out between the huge men.

_Dora?,_ thought Remus surprised and looked at the young woman.

He only knew her as the loveable, happy and yet sensible, clumsy woman and now he saw her like this.

Fully armoured, her pink hair tied back so that only her fringe and a few strands of it fell into her face, she was standing in between those huge men and looked up at the Wizengamot.

A sudden feeling of pride filled Remus' chest and a small smile flashed his lips.

.

"We now begin with the questioning of Peter Pettigrew," sounded Amelia Bones' voice over the whispering, cutting through Sirius' and Remus' thoughts.

The Aurors had positioned themselves around the witness chair, watching every single one of Pettigrew's movements.

"Your name is Peter Pettigrew? You were born on the 15th of April in 1960, attended the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and graduated, is that correct? Furthermore you are an unregistered Animagic and have the ability to morph into a rat, is that correct? Good," said Amelia Bones towards Pettigrew, who had sunken into the chair and nodded to answer her questions.

"Mr. Pettigrew, you are accused of betraying James and Lily Potter to you-know-who in October of 1981, being accountable of their deaths and approving their son's, Harry Potter's, death."

Pettigrew already wanted to ramble again but Bones didn't let him.

"Furthermore you are accused of killing twelve innocent Muggles in broad daylight in a Muggle-area and cutting off your finger in order to fake your own death before fleeing into the canalisation as a rat. Thus you are held responsible for the detention of Sirius Black, his unjust imprisonment and the death of 12 Muggles. Aside from that you are accused of being a Death Eater, being in close contact with you-know-who's most loyal supporters and having used Unforgivable Curses. What do you say about these accusations?"

After Bones had finished talking a thick silence had filled the court room.

Pettigrew seemed to look frantically for an escape, which earned him warning glances from the Aurors, especially Moody.

"That...that's not true! He-"shrieked Peter haunted and wanted to point at Sirius but his hand was held back by the chains. "He killed them and he wanted to kill me, too! He was sentenced for it! All those years he gained the Potters' trust just to betray them to the Dark Lord!"

"Well, if that's the case, then why are you sitting here right now, Mr. Pettigrew?" asked Bones unimpressed.

"Well, I had to hide! If I hadn't been hiding as a rat all those years he would have killed me! He's a ruthless bastard, selling his friends to the Dark Lord like meat!" he squeaked.

"But how come you did not surface again after Mr. Black had been imprisoned?" got Bones into it.

"Well...he...he probably had accomplices! Like this beast, yeah, right! They would've hunted me down until they got me!"

Sirius had to pull himself together...he knew it wouldn't be good if he reacted to his provocations and interfered.

Dumbledore, who was sitting behind the others, noticed his tension and gently put his hand on the Animagic's shoulder.

On the inside Remus felt just like Sirius, but he had always been better in hiding and suppressing his feelings.

And so he just looked down at Pettigrew.

"Well, Mr. Pettigrew. You admit that you faked your death, but deny killing the Muggles. Let's get to the next point. You are accused of being a Death Eater and working for you-know-who. The Dark Mark was detected on your skin under the watch of two Wizengamot-members previously to this trial. What do you say about that?" asked Bones calmly and looked into his eyes.

"I...I didn't have a choice! I had no other choice than to join them and do what they told me! Otherwise they would have killed me!" shrieked Pettigrew in a high-pitched tone.

"Good. You admit this point," said Bones and noted something down without paying attention to Pettigrew's despair.

"Do you admit that you were the Potters' secret keeper? And that it was you who betrayed them to you-know-who?"

"I already told you, I had no other choice! I had to betray them!" yelled Pettigrew.

"Good, I take that as a yes", replied Amelia Bones still completely calm. "Any further questions? No? Good, then we can carry on with our next witness. But one last word, Mr. Pettigrew: You're not under the influence of veritaserum right now, but the Wizengamot could change that at any time. So I recommend you telling the truth. Your statements are more than contradictory. Why should the Death Eaters hunt you and integrate you at the same time? Everyone knows that killing is their approach of choice. You can bring Mr. Pettigrew to his seat now, thank you."

The Aurors started to move, as Pettigrew raised his voice again.

"They deserved it! Those Potters and Black and the Werewolf! They would've done the same!", shrieked Pettigrew but the Aurors were already taken him to his chair facing the witness bench, where they chained him again.


	5. the trial II

**Here's part two for you, enjoy!**

** PablosGirl**

* * *

"At first the Wizengamot calls Sirius Black to the witness stand," said Amelia Bones with a much softer tone.

Slowly Sirius stood up and felt his hands start to tremble.

With a quick look at Remus, who sent him a wry smile, Sirius slowly walked towards the chair.

But the more he approached it, the bigger the urge to turn around and run away got.

He kept a straight face but Remus saw exactly what was going on in his friend.

And so he pulled himself together and sat down on the chair.

For a second he thought he heard the rattle of chains, but nothing happened and nobody chained him to the chair.

Sirius exhaled in relief.

"Can we begin with the questioning, or do you need a few more moments, Mr. Black?" asked Bones politely which made Umbridge give her a way too sweet smile.

"No, we can start, thank you," said Sirius with a slightly throaty voice and nodded.

"Good. Everyone in this room is informed about your trial and your sentence. What do you have to say about it today?"

"Neither did I betray James and Lily, nor did I kill the Muggles or, obviously, Pettigrew. I used to be the Potters' secret keeper but then we decided to switch it to Pettigrew," explained Sirius and it was obvious how hard it was for him to go through this again.

"So you did not hunt Mr. Pettigrew, as he just stated?" asked Amelia Bones, which made Remus swallow hard because he knew what Sirius would say now...

.

"Yes, I did hunt him," he said briefly and a whisper went through the room. "I hunted him, I won't deny that. I hunted him with the aim to kill him because I knew he was responsible for James' and Lily's death. But it's also true that I didn't catch him since he literally blew up the street and escaped. So I am not the murderer of these twelve Muggles. Yet I was accused of and sentenced for murdering thirteen people."

Sirius looked up at Bones, who just looked at him for a few seconds, and waited for her reaction.

"I think I am speaking in the name of the whole Wizengamot if I say that this is neither an argument for Pettigrew's position, nor does it count as attempted murder. Two years ago you managed to fly from Azkaban, Mr. Black...how exactly did you do that?" asked Bones and seemed to be honestly curious about his explanation.

"Well, I didn't have the time to register it yet, but I am an unregistered Animagic, too. I can morph into a big, black dog, similar to a Grimm. We became Animagics during our school time when our friend Remus Lupin told us about his Lycanthropy. We wanted to stay with him during his transformations. James Potter morphed into a stag, by the way. On the one hand this helped me to avoid the Dementors' influence from time to time because animals don't react as strongly to them. And on the other hand it helped me to escape. I barely ate anything, I even spared the little bit I was given each day. Eventually I got thin enough to squeeze through the bars as a dog, I sneaked past the Dementors and swam to the shore. You see, it wasn't that easy in the end..." explained Sirius.

.

"Good to know, this will help us to detain Pettigrew securely if he's sentenced," said Bones. "Carry on, Mr. Black. What happened during the last two years?"

"Well, at first I more or less struggled along. But I actually wanted to be near Harry to have an eye on him. I knew that he went to Hogwarts with Ron Weasley and I also knew by coincidence that Pettigrew was hiding at the Weasleys as a rat. I have to admit that I broke into Hogwarts to catch Pettigrew. But I failed although Harry, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Remus Lupin, who was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at that time, eventually tried to help me. Pettigrew escaped again and I had to hide again because the Ministry was searching for me."

"Good Mr. Black, I think that's enough for now. One last thing: you have nothing to do with Mr. Pettigrew's capture on Halloween, is that right?" asked Amelia Bones.

"That's right, he was caught by Remus Lupin and Ben Thompson," answered Sirius truthfully.

"Good. You can sit down again, Mr. Black. The next witness is Harry Potter."

During the next minutes Harry, Ron and Hermione told the Wizengamot about the events during their third year.

Remus avoided the members' and Tonks' eyes because he still condemned himself for his mistake and his uncontrolled transformation.

When the Trio was done, Remus mentally prepared to be called next, but that didn't happen.

"As the next witness I call Ben Thompson to the witness stand," sounded Amelia Bones' voice.

With puzzled expressions the two Werewolves looked at each other but eventually Remus nodded at him and Ben stood up to go to the chair.

At this time he didn't know what still lay ahead of him...

.

With shaking knees he started to move.

_Merlin, what did I get roped into..._, he thought.

But on the other hand, before he had met Remus, he hadn't had people who knew about his condition and yet accepted and cherished him.

He hadn't had a friend like Remus since his school time...

And before he had realized it his legs had brought him right in front of the chained chair.

He stood there for a second as if he had forgotten how to sit down or what to do with a chair at all.

Then he sat down, trying to control his trembling hands.

Once again he wanted to look at Remus but the latter was frowning and looking at the toad-like witch whose pink clothes showed even under the purple robes.

_Great..._, he thought and looked at Amelia Bones instead.

"Your name is Ben Thompson, is that correct?"

"Yes," he said with dry lips.

"You are a registered Werewolf, your number is 5468?" she asked on but to Ben's surprise there was no hint of prejudice or disdain in her voice.

It was just as neutral as it had just been with Sirius or Harry.

"Yes, that's true, too," Ben said and relaxed a bit.

"Good, then we can start with the-" said Bones but broke off in the middle of the sentence to look at the toad-like witch to her right.

The latter had stood up without a word and was looking at Bones with a sugary smile.

"Yes, Mrs. Umbridge?" asked Bones in a slightly annoyed tone.

"I would like to make a small remark, if that's no problem to the Gamot," she said sweetly.

Ben looked at the witness bench with an anxious expression.

Sirius' jaw had dropped a little and he was screwing up his nose.

Dumbledore just looked at Umbridge politely and carried it off well.

Ron, Harry and Hermione were looking at each other in confusion.

Remus however leant back with a knowing expression on his face and seemed to think about something...

Unnoticed by the others Tonks looked at Moody with a frown on the other side of the court room, but the Auror only uttered a quiet, grumpy grunt.

But Umbridges behaviour wasn't the only thing which had been prompting questions for her during the last minutes.

Why had Remus been surprised when they called Ben first?

And what was that number Amelia Bones had asked Ben about?

Tonks knew that there were records about every registered Werewolf with his name and residence and so on, but she had never heard anything about a number...

.

"Well, considering the fact that the witness is a dangerous magical creature and at risk of flight I think it's more than obvious that the witness has to be chained, don't you think?" said Umbridge in the same cheerful voice and looked around at the other Gamot-members.

Some of them were nodding, partly firmly, partly reservedly.

But most of them were frowning or shaking their head annoyed.

Ben however started to feel panic rush through his head.

Did they really want to chain him?

But he wasn't even being accused of anything!

He never did anything wrong, much less if it was about the wolf.

He frantically looked at Dumbledore but he was still watching Umbridge with narrowed eyes.

For a few moments no one had said anything, when Remus suddenly stood up.

Once again a mumbling and whisper started to float through the room.

"Your honour, could I say something about that?" asked Remus Bones politely, ignoring Umbridge's sharp glance.

.

"Considering the fact that you are one of the main witnesses and you will probably be affected by this in a few minutes, too, you might very well say something about it," endorsed Bones.

"Thank you very much. I would like to object to Mrs. Umbridge's demand. There's no objective reason to chain Mr. Thompson. For a start his record is completely flawless. He got registered in an exemplary manner and does everything he can to be a good member of the Wizarding Society. The sheer fact that he is a Werewolf can't be enough reason to treat him like a criminal. Apart from this I think that the risk of flight is rather small since there are several Aurors inside and outside this court room. It's still to discuss if he has done anything illegal at all and to treat him as dangerous just because of his Lycanthropy is not legal...especially because today is not full-moon," said Remus calmly, looking around into the faces of the Gamot-members.

Ben didn't know what to think.

Should he be astonished because Remus had just given a brilliant speech about the equal treatment of Werewolves or should he just be thankful?

The Trio looked at their old teacher in surprise while Dumbledore and Sirius had a smile on their lips.

_What the?!_, was everything Tonks could think about right then.

She had never seen Remus so confident before, especially not about this topic.

.

"Well, I'm happy to tell you that most of the Wizengamot-members agree with your views, Mr. Lupin. Mr. Thompson won't be chained. Thank you. Let's move on."

The honey-smile on Umbridge's face seemed to freeze for a second when she sat down again.

In the following Ben was questioned in detail about Halloween and he got much more relaxed now...at least he had mentally played this whole questioning through a dozen times.

Amelia Bones just wanted to let him go, when Umbridge raised her voice again.

"I have a small question, if you don't mind, Mrs. Bones," she said, less sweetly than before. "How come you helped Mr. Lupin to catch Mr. Pettigrew in the first place?"

Ben seemed to be a bit confused but he didn't want to do Umbridge the favour of getting speechless.

"Well, I still owed him a favour. I told him he could tell me, if I could help him in any way," he explained confidently.

"And how come it was peculiarly two Werewolves who attacked Mr. Pettigrew?" she got into it.

A small smile flashed Ben's lips as he answered, "We met some time ago. The current circumstances and rules for Werewolves often don't leave us any other company than other Werewolves. So there is nothing peculiar about two Werewolves becoming friends."

Some of the Gamot-members sent Ben an approving nod while a more than proud smile appeared on Remus' lips.

Within the last twenty minutes Ben had managed to no longer be intimidated by the woman who just had wanted to chain him to a chair.

"Good, I think I can let you sit down again, Mr. Thompson," said Bones with a small hint of amusement in her voice.

"We now come to our last witness. Remus Lupin to the witness stand, please!"


	6. the trial III

**Hello everyone! :3 **

**I'm sorry I didn't upload earlier today but due to the site's server problems I couldn't log in for a few hours. **

**But here it is now, third and last part of the trial. **

**I hope you're excited for it :) I'm curious about your reactions!**

**Enjoy! **

**PablosGirl**

JKStorm501: Welcome to my little story! :) Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad you like it so far and I hope you keep liking it in the future! I'll try my best ;)

* * *

Once again Remus exhaled deeply.

So he was the last witness, the last one to convince the Wizengamot of Pettigrew's guilt

Until now Pettigrew had kept his mouth shut, even when it had been Sirius' turn...

The judgement should be clear by now.

Pettigrew had entrapped himself in contradictions while all the other evidence and testimonies were against him.

But what if it would turn out differently?

_No it won't!,_ thought Remus, trying to calm himself down.

But what if?

Maybe he would be sentenced for attacking two men in the open street.

Malfoy hadn't turned up...sly bastard...but what if?

All this flashed through Remus' mind within a few seconds while he slowly stood up nervously.

.

As soon as he had sat down on the witness chair, Umbridge stood up again to begin with the same discriminating plea.

"Well, I think in this case we can all agree that the witness is to be chained, right?" she said with a beaming, sugary smile towards her colleagues.

"Why should you?" suddenly sounded Sirius' voice through the court room.

All eyes turned to him now, just like Remus, who was more than surprised at his remark.

"Sirius!" he hissed.

"No, Remus!" hissed Sirius back, cutting him short before he could say anything else, and turned back to the Wizengamot. "Why should you chain this man? He brought a massmurderer on the run to the Ministry, a traitor! He didn't take the law into his own hands although he very well could have! He turned him in and now he's here to testify, just like everybody else. Why wasn't I chained?"

"Sirius, calm down!" mumbled Dumbledore behind him.

"Well, Mr. Black. You are in fact no dangerous, magical beast. Mr. Lupin however has been knwon to be one for years..." said Umbridge sweetly as ever.

"Yeah, so? He never did anything wrong. Just like Ben a few minutes ago," said Sirius indignantly.

"The more reason we have to be careful about Mr. Lupin's intentions. How should we know what he is really up to? Maybe he just learned to play a role after all those years. He is and will remain a dangerous beast in need to be handled with utmost caution," explained Umbridge as sweet as cotton candy.

.

Tonks wanted to jump up, scream into this old toad's face and tell the whole room what a wonderful man Remus Lupin was. A human being!

How dare she downgrade and denounce him in front of all these people?!

She tried to look at him but Remus was looking at the stone floor, biting his lip.

It was more than obvious that he felt uncomfortable.

And his mind seemed to run at full speed, his forehead one single frown...

.

"Dumbledore trusts him! He even was a teacher at Hogwarts...what do you want from him?" said Sirius bewildered.

"I'm well aware of that, Mr. Black. And this wasn't Dumbledore's only doubtful decision. Apart from that we are aware that said school year nearly would have ended in a tragedy..."

Sirius had already opened his mouth to counter when Remus quietly cleared his throat.

He had looked up again, not at Umbridge, but at Amelia Bones, who gave him her undivided attention.

"Just chain me to this chair, alright?" said Remus quietly, resignation woven in his voice.

.

No one in this room had expected it.

The same man, who had defended Ben's rights and equality only minutes ago, not letting him be labelled as a beast, was now giving in so easily when it came to himself?

Dumbledore was watching him with narrowed eyes, Ben seemed to be frozen in shock and Sirius just sat down again with his jaw dropped.

Some kind of switch must have turned in his friend's head, Sirius was sure of it.

But what? And why so suddenly?

Kingsley stepped forward after Bones had briefly nodded at him and chained Remus' wrists and ankles to the chair.

Remus didn't look at him; instead he kept his eyes on the floor, still biting his lower lip.

He didn't want to look into their incredulous eyes, didn't want to see the question why he had done this in them...especially not in _hers_.

.

"Your name is Remus John Lupin, you are a Werewolf and your number is 2023, is that correct?" proceeded Amelia Bones.

"Yes," answered Remus strangely toneless.

"Mr. Lupin, to cut this short, which is probably in everyone's favour: would you agree to Mr. Thompson's description of what happened on Halloween? Do you have anything to add?"

"Everything he has said is true and has happened like that. He didn't tell you that I've been observing Pettigrew at Knockturn Ally for a few weeks before Halloween."

"And what exactly made you go to Knockturn Ally in the first place, Mr. Lupin?" interfered Umbridge and she wouldn't be the only one to interrupt...

"Yeah, right, Remus! What were you doing there? Meet with someone of your dirty kind?" squeaked Pettigrew suddenly.

But Remus shot him a glare Tonks had never seen from him, shutting up Pettigrew immediately.

And Tonks even thought she heard a low growl from Remus' direction.

"I was there by coincidence, passing through more or less. But after I had seen him for the first time I went back again, almost every day," answered Remus.

"Well, if there are no further questions from the Gamot I would like to ask you one last thing, Mr. Lupin, and end the questioning. No questions? Good. Mr. Lupin. What exactly was your intention as you attacked Mr. Pettigrew at Knockturn Alley?" asked Bones.

"I just wanted to catch him. I wanted him alive. I knew that I might have to injure him to do overpower him. And I was aware of the possible consequences for me and Mr. Thompson. I didn't care for...his companion, he didn't have anything to do with this. I wanted to prove Sirius' innocence and that he, who betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort, got what he deserves. Killing him would have been too easy."

A hissing and whispering went through the crowd as Remus said the unspeakable name without even blinking.

"So you attacked Mr. Pettigrew out of personal interest?" taunted Umbridge again.

"If someone kills your family even though they trusted them. If he takes away everything that ever mattered to you, and not only you but also to those who were left, then you just can't get rid of the desire to see justice. That's all," answered Remus quietly and looked back at Bones.

"I think that will suffice, Mr. Lupin. Thank you very much. You can sit down again. Mr. Shacklebolt, would you be so kind?"

Remus stood up slowly and went back to their bench, carefully avoiding any familiar eye.

"We've heard all of our witnesses and the culprit. Now I may ask you, in consideration of the given evidence and testimonies, to decide on the criminal responsibility of Mr. Lupin and Mr. Thompson and to decide whether Mr. Pettigrew is to be sentenced," said Bones.

The tension inside the court room was almost sensible now.

Nothing but tensed silence could be heard.

Sirius was biting on his nails while Remus looked into the faces on the Wizengamot stand, some of the members returning his gaze.

"I may now ask you for your hand signal. Who in this room is voting for Mr. Pettigrew's full culpability in all mentioned points?"

.

Sirius had hoped for the vote to be predominant, but he hadn't expected it to be that obvious and unanimous.

Every single member of the Gamot raised their hand, even Umbridge.

Pettigrew seemed to open his mouth to yell something at first, but then he sank back into his chair.

But nothing had been won by now...

"Who in this room is voting for Mr. Lupin and Mr. Thompson to be sentenced for attacking another wizard deliberately?" asked Bones and looked around.

Some hands were raised, the same ones who had voted for Ben to be chained before.

Especially Umbridge's arm darted into the air.

But it wasn't enough by far...

.

Remus felt like he was dreaming.

The noise only reached his ears in a muffled, dull way.

"Mr. Lupin, Mr. Thompson. Your actions won't have any legal consequences. I, in the name of the whole Wizengamot and Wizarding society, thank you for catching and turning in Mr. Pettigrew. Mr. Black. You are a free man again from now on. You will receive an owl in a few days concerning your compensatory settlements. Mr. Pettigrew. You've been voted guilty by the Wizengamot and will be sentenced to Azkaban for life with prior Dementor's kiss. Herewith I close this trial and case."

.

Without saying a word, Remus looked into Sirius' eyes but something reminded him that this sentence was maybe gruesome and yet necessary.

Harry was looking at him, moving his lips to a silent "Thank you.".

Remus forced a smile and turned away again.

Everywhere around them people were standing up while Pettigrew was lead off.

Remus however was lost in thought.

He had given in, let them chain him to this chair like a criminal, like a beast...

At least now it should be clear to her...

.

Slowly, feeling like in some kind of trance, Remus followed the others out of the court room.

In the corridor everyone started to cheer and congratulate each other.

The Trio was beaming and hugging Sirius one after another while the Animagic had a wide grin stuck on his face.

Dumbledore was standing next to him, smiling at them and glancing at Remus worriedly over his half-moon glasses from time to time.

Remus however stayed apart from them, dwelling on thoughts.

Of course he was happy that everything had gone so well, bloody relieved to be honest.

Of course he could have been laughing and cheering right now.

But he didn't.

Instead an old familiar feeling crept through him...the feeling to have lost something for once and for all.

His biggest fear seemed to be validated again, running like a golden thread through his life...

.

"Are you alright? You don't look too happy..." said Ben, snapping him out of his musing.

"Yes, yes I am...I'm more than happy, but...I'll explain it to you later, okay?" answered Remus with the ghost of a smile on his lips and looked at the other Werewolf pleadingly.

"As you wish," smiled Ben back.

_He'll understand, he knows how I feel...Sirius would only tell me that I'm wrong again..._, thought Remus and looked around the corridor.

And Sirius was already approaching him.

"Thank you, Moony! Thank you for everything!" he said with a touched smile and pulled his friend into his arms.

"How often do I have to tell you that there's nothing to thank me for? You would've done the same without hesitation!" replied Remus, cutting Sirius short as he saw what he was about to ask. "I'm fine. It's just...a bit too much for me right now, alright? I tell you when I want to talk about it."

Sirius took a deep breath but eventually agreed.

"Okay, but don't you dare think I'd forget about that!"

.

They'd already been standing in the corridor for more than ten minutes, when Remus heard footsteps approaching them.

Kingsley and Tonks were walking through the corridor and the smile under the pink fringe grew bigger and bigger as they got closer.

And Remus suddenly felt the urge to run away.

"I-I think I'll leave now...could need some fresh air. See you tonight. And don't worry about me," said Remus hastily to Sirius and left into the opposite direction.

.

With a puzzled expression Tonks looked up at her cousin as they reached the group.

But Sirius only shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know...I think he needs to be alone for a while..." mumbled Sirius and looked into the corridor with a slight frown.

"I'm so happy for you, Sirius! You're finally free, can you believe it? The first thing we'll do is paying a visit to Fortescue's! My shifts over in a few minutes," said Tonks with a beaming smile although she was still confused by Remus' sudden disappearance.

Why did he leave so hurriedly as soon as he had noticed her?

Maybe it didn't have anything to do with her...

She would talk to him later but for now she would concentrate on Sirius!


	7. elusions

**Hey everyone! I hope you had a nice Monday so far! :)**

**Here's the next chapter for you! It's mainly about Remus' and his thoughts/feelings and you'll get to see another side of Ben ;) **

**But don't worry, there will be more Dora/Remus fluff in the next chapters! **

**Once again I want to thank everyone who's reading my story and say a big thank you to those of you, who review my chapters. I'm really thankful for your feedback and I'm even happier that you like my story so far! **

**So, here it goes! Grab a big blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and enjoy the chapter! **

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: wow, where do I begin now? ;) at first I'm very glad you liked it! I was a bit afraid three whole chapters of trial could be too long/boring. There will be more moments in the future where Remus and Ben show their friendship. The thing with the werewolf-numbers will be important, or at least mentioned, in the next chapters again, too. Yay, I deserve chocolate! That's a great compliment because I love chocolate :D I know you're curious so have fun reading the next chapter!

JKStorm501: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :) You're welcome! I always answer my reader's reviews in front of the next chapter. I could also write a private message...but I'm somehow used to it because I've always done it that way on another fanfiction site ;) So I'd be happy to give you maaaany more shout outs! I hope you enjoy this chapter, too!

Is A Bell X3: Thank you! :3 And yes, Sirius and Andromeda will meet again in my story but I think it'll be a while until this scene. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Yeah, right? What an idiot! ;) But don't worry, there's some nice Remus/Dora time and some fluff waiting for you in a few chapters ;) Have fun!

* * *

Remus only noticed where he had gone when he was standing in an old, shabby telephone booth.

_Why did you run away like that, you idiot? Very unsuspicious, Remus, now no one will worry and drill you with questions later on_, he thought and stepped out of the red booth.

He wandered the streets aimlessly while the sun shined down on him and the first Muggles in suits and ties left their offices.

Like a flock of birds they streamed towards the tube-entrance and disappeared into the underground.

Remus however didn't know where to go.

It wouldn't take long until someone would be waiting for him or even look for him.

Sirius and Dumbledore knew about his safe haven on Hogwarts' ground...and returning to number 12 would have been the worst idea.

Tonks would keep on and on until he opened his door...

A smile appeared on Remus' lips unwittingly but as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared again and Remus kept wandering Muggle-London.

For now he would have to come up with a different idea...

.

At Diagon Ally Sirius and Tonks were sitting at a table at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour with their noses buried in the menu.

Many curious and incredulous eyes were watching them, especially of those who were holding the special issue of the Daily Prophet in their hands.

But Sirius didn't care at all.

"I'll take the strawberry cup with cream," ordered Sirius when Florean Fortescue himself came up to their table.

"I'll take the chocolate cup," said Tonks smiling and immediately thought of Remus again.

He would have probably chosen the same...

"It's a shame that Remus is not here," she said, looking at the giant cup of chocolate ice cream, chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles.

"Give him some time...you know him by now, he can be quite the lone wolf from time to time...literally speaking," said Sirius with a wink.

"You don't have an idea where he could be right now, do you? I don't think he returned home...I've got the feeling that his disappearance has something to do with me..." mumbled Tonks.

"Well, I have an idea where he might be, but Remus also knows that I know about it...so he won't be there either if he really wants to be alone. And about your connection to his disappearance..." said Sirius but then hesitated to tell her.

"What?"

"Well, I think it really might have something to do with you, but I'm not sure. It was definitely because of the trial, I'm sure of that. He was very quiet afterwards, kept apart from the rest of us and then suddenly left with a flimsy excuse when you came up to us," explained Sirius, fighting back a brain-freeze from the ice-cream.

"I'm just worried. He was so...different inside the court room...so strange. I would've never thought that Umbridge could corner him so easily...much less that he would let them chain him. But I guess I'll just have to wait until he comes home. Maybe Molly's special dinner will bring him home tonight..." said Tonks and dug into her ice cream, not noticing that something seemed to dawn to Sirius...

.

It already started to get dark while Remus was still strolling through a park.

The trees had left almost all of their leaved by now but the day was petty sunny and so it was still warm enough outside.

He had been sitting on a bench for a few minutes, staring into the nothingness, when an old voice snapped him out of his musing.

"I'm sorry, would you mind if I take a seat?" asked an old, friendly looking man with a walking cane.

Remus flinched a little but then smiled at the old man.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, young man," laughed the old man.

"No, no! I was just lost in thought...just take a seat," answered Remus friendly.

With a small moan of exhaustion the man sat down at the other end of the bench.

"My back is going to kill me one day..." he mumbled and Remus smiled at him again.

"Enjoy your youth as long as you are still healthy, my friend!" joked the old man. "I don't want to sound impolite or anything...but what is a young man like you doing in park full of old men playing Boules and feeding pidgeons? You seem a little lost, my friend."

"You could say that, yes," said Remus with a crooked smile.

For a while the two men just sat there in silence, watching the busy going-ons in the park.

.

"Problem with a girl, huh?" asked the old man.

Remus turned his head towards him in confusion.

How did he know?

"Don't look so surprised, young chap. An old man like me knows what a troubled man looks like. I've had enough trouble in my life myself until I met my Betty...God rest her soul," he said and smiled towards the sky.

Remus unwittingly tilted his head and frowned.

"You're a widower? I'm sorry about that...it's hard to lose someone you love," said Remus quietly.

"Oh, for quite a while now, but I'm still thankful for every single day I had with her. And now I have to look after her cats, I promised her," said the man laughing.

There was still some melancholy in his voice, but mainly happiness and gratitude.

Remus was confused...and he also immediately thought of Umbridge and her fondness of kitty cats.

He quickly shook the picture off and tried to remember that there are people out there who liked cats and were no awful person.

.

"You are afraid of losing her, right?" asked the man after a few moments.

Remus looked at him with knitted brows...how did he do that? Was he a wizard? Was he capable of Legilimency?

"Well, you said that losing someone is hard, not that it must be hard. You know how it feels to lose and you don't want to feel that ever again...am I right? I may be an old, drow fellow but I see if someone is struggling with them self.

Remus sighed...what should he reply to that?

"I...I'm just not good enough for her, that's it," he said elusively.

"If that was the case, and she had no interest in you, then you wouldn't be sitting here like that right now. If she thinks you're good enough, why don't you?" answered the old man.

"Yes, I know...but what if I lose her, too? If I get myself into it and then lose her...I don't want to lose everything, not again..." said Remus quietly and more than desperately.

"That's the wrong approach, young chap...your heart obviously already gave in to her, it's as plain as the nose on your face. And you don't seem to do so very often, I guess."

Now Remus didn't know what to say anymore and just ran his fingers through his hair...what was this all about?

An open air psychotherapy?

"Just muster all your courage. It took ages for me to win my Betty. But the years I spent with her were priceless...and still are. I lost her, yes. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved in the first place. If you don't get yourself into it you won't lose her. But then you won't be able to see what it feels like to love her either, young chap. And it's you to decide which is worse."

.

A long silence ensued and Remus looked around the park, thinking about the man's words.

Eventually he looked up at the man, who had thrown him off track during the last fifteen minutes.

"Thank you, you really helped me," said Remus slowly and a small smile flashed his lips.

"No need to thank you! But now I have to go, my Boules-friends just arrived. Duty calls," said the man cheerfully and winked at him before he stood up.

Without even knowing the man's name Remus stood up and left the park.

The old man had only known the tip of the iceberg of Remus' problems and yet he had answered them in a nutshell.

.

When he entered number twelve it was already dark outside.

Cheerful voices and the noise of cutlery on plates floated into the hallway.

Remus sighed.

Of course he could have apparated to Grimmauldplace but instead he had walked the whole way and now his feet hurt...at least he had had a bit more time to think like that.

The only problem was that he still had no answers.

And so he stepped into the kitchen's doorframe, forced a smile and lifted his hand to greet them.

"Hey!" he mumbled and looked at the others' beaming faces.

"Remus! You must be starving! Sit down, sit down, I'll get you something!" cackled Molly and bustled about at the kitchen counter. "The others are already at the dessert but I'll warm something up for you, it will only take a minute!"

"Don't worry, Molly! I'm not even that hungry," lied Remus lamely and so she didn't even regarded him.

At the opposite end of the table he noticed Ben sitting in between Sirius and Mad-Eye.

He was smiling at Remus, moving his lips to a silent "Where have you been?".

But Remus only shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the plate Molly had just pushed into his hands.

And yet he noticed Tonks glimpses in the corner of his eye.

Remus was glad to be sitting next to Bill after everyone had finished.

The oldest Weasley son had come to visit and was a pleasant conversation partner if you wanted to avoid the topics of Werewolves, sudden disappearances and secrecy towards your friends.

.

Slowly but surely the first Order members like Kingsley and Mad-Eye left and shortly after them the Weasleys, too.

An awkward silence had ensued between them after they had said goodbye to the Weasleys and so Remus' avoided looking at the others.

He was just waiting for the right moment to leave and fly into his room.

And then he realized that Tonks took a deep breath to say something with a serious expression.

But it wasn't Tonks' voice which had raised...it was Ben's.

"Do you have a minute, Remus?" he said briefly and stood up.

Remus just nodded and went into the living-room with him.

"Thanks..." he said and closed the door behind him.

But Ben only gestured impatiently.

"Tonks was pretty worried, Remus. Sirius, too."

"I thought that..." eluded Remus.

"Why did you do that?" asked Ben, nearly indignantly.

"What?!"

"You know what..." said Ben annoyed and waved his hands around. "Everything! Why do you defend me but let them chain you voluntarily? Why aren't you happy about the outcome? Why do you suddenly disappear and return at night as if nothing had happened?

Ben's voice got louder and louder until he almost yelled at him.

In the kitchen Tonks and Sirius exchanged confused looks as they heard the noise from the living-room.

That was exactly what they would have asked him, too.

Remus ran his fingers through his hair and clenched his teeth, trying to calm down.

He pointed his wand at the door and mumbled a muting-spell.

From now on nothing could be heard from outside the room anymore.

.

"You want to know why I let them chain me like some wild animal? Why I let them treat me like a beast?" asked Remus growling and Ben nodded.

"Because at this moment every single reason was listed why I'm a danger to Tonks and why it would be a huge mistake to fall in love with me! I just didn't want to hear it anymore...I know all that, no need to tell me in every single detail! I'm a bloody Werewolf and she's a wonderful, respected, young woman. Society sees me as inferior, a beast, a danger. I'm not a human to them! They couldn't have made it any more obvious for Tonks..." yelled Remus but got more and more quiet and sad towards the end and sat down on the sofa.

"I didn't want to meet her, didn't want to talk to her. It would be crazy of her to still want me now...I'm a beast, Ben. You never endangered hundreds of kids, you've got a job, a flat. People like you and accept you although they know what you are!"

.

Then suddenly a mellow expression appeared on Ben's face and he sat down next to him.

"You're pretty much down and out, hm?" asked Ben.

Remus jus nodded silently, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I'm a danger to her, I've got nothing to offer. A relationship with me would only bring her problems...but I..."

"What?", asked Ben softly.

"I...it's just what I want. I wish it was different, but I..." stammered Remus again.

"What, Remus?" asked Ben smiling.

"I lo- ...I think I fell in love with her," said Remus.

"Really, Remus? That's nothing new!" said Ben, trying to cheer him up.

"She's going to ask why I reacted that way, Ben. She'll bombard me with questions," mumbled Remus exhausted.

"So what? Just explain it to her like you just did to me. Where's the problem?" asked Ben.

"Sitting on this sofa..." answered Remus and Ben started so smirk. "Why am I such a big, emotional mess? How am I supposed to explain something to her without talking myself into trouble?"

"You'll manage," smiled Ben and patted his shoulder. "Go to sleep and consult your pillow. You'll see things in a different light tomorrow. You know where you can find me."

"Thank you!" said Remus, looked after him as he left and sank back into the sofa.

In the kitchen the lights were still on...


	8. the old flat

**Hey there everyone!  
**

**Wow! So many great reviews from you guys! Thank you all so much, I've got a big smile on my face right now :) *hugs everyone*  
**

**I'm glad you liked this chapter! This one is going to be more focused on Tonks and Remus again. **

**I hope you like it! **

**And because you are such great readers I'll upload another chapter today! **

***handing out hot chocolate***

**Enjoy!**

** PablosGirl**

f3y-chan: Welcome to my little story! :) I'm glad you like it so far! You're right, if Remus was an easier character it wouldn't be so much fun to write and read fanfiction about him, right? It's never getting boring with our shy Werewolf ;)

Is A Bell X3: I just smiled the whole time while reading your review! :D So many hugs! I can feel the love through the monitor of my computer :) "Ben is SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot"? I've never thought about that but yeah, he probably is...that dishy Werewolf ;) you even thought about my dog! *hugging Is A Bell X3* *slobbery dog kiss from Pablo* I hope you enjoy the next chapters!

JKStorm501: Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it! :) I hope you like this next one, too! Enjoy!

danadanaBATMAN: awwww yeah, it's getting fluffy in here... ;) Now I'm thinking about how to change the lyrics of that Nelly song... *it's getting fluffy in here, so put on your cozy clothes...I am getting so fluffy, I wanna put another pair of fluffy socks on* I don't know, don't judge me ;)

remusdora: Yay, a hug and chocolate! What more could I ask for? :3 I think eating ice-cream on a sunny day at Diagon Ally would be the first thing I would do if I was finally free after almost 15 years ;) I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

Sirius and Tonks looked up in surprise as Remus appeared in the doorframe.

They were sitting in front of an open bottle of red wine and watched their friend curiously as he sat down with them with a forced smile.

"Here, you look like you could use some," grinned Sirius and handed him a glass.

Remus' eyes were reddened and he felt more tired than in a long time.

"Did Ben give you hell?" asked Tonks with a crooked smile.

Remus had been so different today.

He had given in to Umbridge, returned home after hours as if nothing had happened and fought with Ben.

A small smirk flashed his lips, as Remus moved his glass around on the table.

"Yeah...you might say that...I...guys, I'm sorry how the day went. You were probably worrying again. But you really didn't have to. And I probably marred your joy at Sirius' rehabilitation," sighed Remus and looked up at them. "You know me; I just needed some time for myself. Unfortunately it didn't help me any further this time."

He nervously scratched the wooden table with his nails.

"I'm really sorry!"

"It's alright, Moony. I'm used to it and I don't mind anymore," said Sirius with a wink.

"I understand that you needed some time," said Tonks but Remus saw that she actually wanted to say much more.

That she didn't understand his behaviour in the court room.

That his sudden disappearance at her sight had hurt her.

That he had acted as if nothing had happened.

.

"We're just happy that it ended well for you and Ben. They could've sentenced you...I think we owe a lot to Amelia Bones," broke Sirius the silence.

"Yeah, she is one of the few people with some common sense AND responsibility. It's not a common combination in the Ministry," agreed Tonks and took a sip of her wine.

They emptied their glasses in silence until Sirius raised his voice again.

"Where have you been the whole time, Remus?" asked Sirius and didn't sound taunting but curious.

Remus sighed and put his glass back onto the table.

"I just wandered around...through Muggle-London, in parks...I thought about going to my old flat but my mood was already at rock bottom."

"You've got a flat?" asked Tonks surprised.

"Yes, hard to believe, I know," answered Remus sarcastically and Tonks eyes widened in shock.

"No! I didn't mean it that way...I just meant...if you're living here anyway, why don't you quit it? And there's probably still some of your stuff," said Tonks, trying to make up for her embarrassment.

"It's okay, Tonks, there's not much left in there," he replied with a crooked smile.

"How about we go there together tomorrow and get your stuff? It's about time that something changes, Remus. You live here now. Sirius and I thought about renovating the house a bit to make it more comfortable. I know, it's a lot of work, but it'll be worth it! Forget about your old flat and make a new start, Sirius is free..." smiled Tonks and waited for his reaction.

But Remus head was working again. He had to explain it to her, he needed to have clarity about her thoughts...he had an idea.

"Do you have a day off tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yes, because today was a special duty," she said grinning.

_Maybe I'll get a bit closer to him again tomorrow...he's so reserved today_, thought Tonks.

"Good," replied Remus and forced a smile.

Sirius had been the only one to ever set foot in his pathetic flat...with good reason...

.

Sirius was stretching at the other side of the table.

"Well, this free man is going to sleep now. I'll have to visit the authorities tomorrow. Good night!" he said and left with a wink.

An awkward silence started between the two.

"I think I should get some sleep, too," said Remus eventually and put the glasses into the sink.

"Me, too," mumbled Tonks avoiding his eyes.

Was he mistaken or did she blink suspiciously often?

They slowly walked up the stairs together and stopped as they reached Tonks' door.

Remus slowly turned towards her without saying anything.

"Pretty exhausting day, huh? Pretty busy..." she said, fruitlessly trying to sound casual.

Now that Remus stood in front of her, shoulders sagging and expression vacant, all her motivation and happiness from the kitchen had vanished.

"You might say that..." he mumbled briefly and looked into her eyes.

_What's wrong with him?,_ she thought.

And so she took a deep breath and just wrapped her arms around his neck.

Surprised as he was, it took Remus a few seconds to react but then he embraced her, too.

_Tomorrow this could be over_, he thought and he wasn't even sure how he meant it.

Tonks drew back but let her hands rest on his arms.

"If you need anything or just want to talk, you know where I am," she said with a worried smile on her lips and disappeared into her room.

Remus went up into his own room and closed the door behind him with a loud sigh...he wouldn't get much sleep tonight anyway.

.

The next morning Sirius was already gone when Remus entered the kitchen, where Tonks was already waiting for him.

Her pink hair was in a ponytail again and her fringe fell into her eyes over and over again.

She was wearing a black blouse, tight dark-blue jeans and pink chucks.

"Morning," he mumbled tiredly and avoided to look at her.

She just looked gorgeous today...

"Sirius made some tea before he left!" she said with a smile and watched the tired Werewolf.

But he didn't react; instead he just leant onto the kitchen counter and yawned.

"Didn't get much sleep, huh?" she asked and looked at his crinkled, way too big shirt.

He followed her gaze and said, "I'm sorry, you look great and I'm walking around like Mundungus searched my closet".

_Damnit! Why am I complimenting her right now? You idiot!_ thought Remus getting annoyed with himself again.

But she grinned and offered him a cup of tea.

"Thank you, but I think your outfit is much more appropriate for moving."

.

Ten minutes later they left number 12.

Remus looked at her insecurely...there was no other way, she didn't know where to apparate.

"Shall we?" she asked cheerfully and ignored the slight frown on his forehead.

Remus nodded, took her hand into his and disapparated.

When they arrived they were standing in front of an old, shabby building in a small side street.

"Nice," said Tonks ironically.

"Just wait till we get inside..." mumbled Remus and stepped into the front door.

Now there was no way back. In a few minutes she would get the ultimate proof of his misery.

.

Remus was nervous.

Silently but curious she followed him up the old, creaking wooden stairs.

Eventually they arrived in front of a strangely contorted door in the attic floor.

Even from behind him Tonks could see how Remus took one last deep breath before he opened the door.

He held it open for her, a bitter smile on his lips, and said, "Home sweet home.".

.

Tonks was shocked.

She looked at Remus and then back into the small room in front of her.

Remus clenched his teeth, he had known it...

Slowly Tonks entered the flat.

Flat?

It was little more than a chamber.

An old, small bed was standing on the opposite wall, taking in almost the whole length of the room.

In the left corner, right next to the door, was a sad little kitchen unit.

Apart from that there were only a small set of drawers and an old desk with a dangerously rickety chair in front of it.

There was only one tiny window in the roof slope, which made the room appear even smaller.

Everything looked, dark, grey and dusty.

"I'm sorry, haven't been here in a long time to tidy up," said Remus sarcastically and watched Tonks carefully.

She seemed to look for something and Remus understood.

"The bathroom is down the hallway...two floors lower," he answered her silent question.

Tonks dropped onto his bed and looked at him with a sad expression.

"Remus...this awful! How could you live her for so long? There's not even light in here."

Small dust clouds were dancing around her in the dim light.

Remus' look saddened, too.

It had been the right choice to bring her here, only now she could understand.

He slowly walked up to the bed and carefully sat down next to her so he wouldn't produce even more dust clouds.

.

He made himself look at her from the side and flinched.

Tonks had tears in her eyes and as she looked into his, he had to pull himself together.

He just couldn't bear to see her cry...why was she crying at all?

With a small sigh she leant against his arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you live with us now... this...this is a dog house with cooking facilities," she said and nearly started to laugh.

She still hadn't understood what this was all about...

"Well, that's how you live in London if you don't have money and on top of that are a dangerous magical creature," said Remus quietly, nearly whispering it. "I'll never be able to afford more than this."

Suddenly Tonks had become quiet and her breath seemed to have stopped.

She looked at him, her expression a mixture of love, sadness and anger.

"That's why you took me here," she whispered.

Remus instantly felt bad about it and lowered his eyes, nodding slowly.

"You had to understand what I meant when I told you that I don't have anything. That I can't afford anything...and offer you nothing."

He looked at her with a pained expression.

"This-" he said and gestured around them. "This is everything I have. This and the few things in Grimmauldplace...clothes, books..."

.

"And that's nothing you can offer me," she said and looked at him confidently, causing a sting in Remus stomach.

He had played through this dozens of times but now it hurt even more than he had imagined.

In secrecy he had still hoped...

"I don't want any of this. Neither this, nor the stuff at home. No real woman would want this," said Tonks.

Remus flinched and kept looking at the floor when he suddenly felt a small, warm hand in his neck.

Her fingers gently ran through his hair, sending shivers down his spine.

What was she doing?

Confused and sad he looked up at her again and only then noticed the gentle smile on her lips.

He was completely baffled.

"I want you, Remus. Your character, your behaviour. That you're always there for me, that you care so much for others' well-being, that you love chocolate, that you're so sophisticated and intelligent, that you are handsome...yes, I find you very attractive!" she said with a wide smile.

"You really want to tell me that you don't care about all that? That I can put anything I own in a few small boxes and that you could count my clothes with one hand?" asked Remus desperately and stared into her eyes.

"Oh come on!" she laughed. "And no, I don't care. I've got a good job, I'm quite successful and earn enough money. If I need anything I buy it. And I really don't need much...like any other woman I just have a soft spot for a small shopping spree from time to time."

Her right hand was gently stroking his cheek now while her left one was still lying on his neck.

"Remus...I fell in love with you. I'm sure of it. And yes, I know you're older but I think that's nice. Yes, I know what some people think about you but it's their problem if they don't like that I get involved with a Werewolf...you know what I mean. I may be clumsy and young, but I thought about all that a dozen times, Remus."

For the first time in hours Remus smiled an honest smile.

She really meant it...maybe he should just listen to the old man's advice.

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

.

"But there's one thing I don't understand...what was wrong with you yesterday? You were so...different?" interrupted Tonks his thoughts.

Now it was time to explain it to her, everything. He didn't want to leave any of her questions unanswered...


	9. Spaghetti Bolognese

**So, here's the next chapter for you! **

**I hope it's fluffy enough. To get into the mood just think about small kittens and baby rabbits and puppies ;)**

***handing out chocolate and hot tea***

**I hope you enjoy...feel free to tell me what you think about it :3**

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: I didn't expect anyone to review the last chapter so quickly but you always manage to surprise me ;) And the fluff is right in front of you :)

the394thdauntlesscake: Hey! I'm glad you liked it and thank you very much for your review! I'm afraid it will be a long time until Remus proposes to her but their first real kiss is not that far away anymore...although there will be some drama in it's way ;) Thank you for the hug and chocolate...I love chocolate...who doesn't? *hugs back and offers cookies* Enjoy!

* * *

Remus had to swallow hard and took her hands in his.

"You mean during the trial and afterwards, right?" he asked carefully and she nodded.

"What do you want to know? I'll answer everything, I owe that to you," he said and looked at her.

"Why did you let them chain you?" she asked directly and kept looking at him.

"Ben had a reputation to lose...he's got a job, a nice flat. He lives a normal life. Usually I wouldn't have given in to it but..."

"But?"

"You were there," he said with a crooked smile and she looked at him with a confused expression on her face.

"I didn't want you to hear all this. Sirius wanted to help me but it just made everything worse. I endangered my students, society sees me as a dangerous beast, not as a human being...and you had to listen to all of it. So I thought it would be easier to end it right there and let them treat me that way. I wanted you to see how they see me and that I'm aware of that. That's why I did it."

"That's why you avoided me, right? You didn't want to see me afterwards because of that, am I right?" replied Tonks.

"Yes, and I didn't want you to underestimate it again. So I just left."

"Oh, I remember something else now! I know there's this Werewolf-register and that the records are labelled but those are letter-combinations. What was that number they asked you about? 2023, right?" asked Tonks curiously.

Again Remus had to swallow hard, let go of her hands and slowly stood up.

His neck was still stiff and aching because he hadn't slept last night.

"Remus?" asked Tonks confused, afraid he might just leave again.

But instead the Werewolf started to unbutton his shirt.

.

"Err, don't get me wrong, that's really a tempting offer, but don't you think this would be a little fast?" laughed Tonks nervously.

"Wait," he grinned, took off the shirt and gestured invitingly.

"Come here."

Tonks stood up.

Even in this dim light his scars were very well visible, shimmering silver on his skin.

When she had stepped up to him he turned his back to her and pointed at his left shoulder blade.

"Touch it with your wand," he said.

"Well, that's an odd fetish," she laughed.

"Just do it, okay?" he said grinning and felt her warm breath tickling his skin.

Pleasant chills went down his spine and he could have kicked himself for the goose bumps which spread on his skin again.

But then his skin started to burn and Tonks inhaled sharply in surprise.

He slowly turned around again and looked into her eyes.

He was freezing a bit but he wanted to wait for her reaction first.

"They give us these magic tattoos so they can always identify us as Werewolves. It works when we're transformed, too. But then it will burn the fur off and leave a scar in form of the number. It's supposed to act as a deterrent," explained Remus while putting his shirt back on.

Tonks buttoned it up for him and smiled up at him.

He would have loved to pull her closer and kiss her.

But full-moon wasn't far away and his head was already enough of a mess.

He might not have been able to control himself...

Aside from that he could think of better places for this than his old, dusty flat.

"So you really want to try it? Are you sure, Dora?" he whispered.

After she had closed the last button she stroked his chest with her flat hand and looked up into his eyes.

"Yes, I'm 100% sure! You just have to give me the chance...if you want me...I'm not perfect, either, you know," she said smirking.

"Sure...little loon," he said softly and suddenly felt much lighter.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.

Her hair smelled like the shampoo she always used.

He could smell it through the bathroom door by now.

"Come on, let's get back home. Let's pack your stuff and leave," she suggested and ten minutes later they were back at number 12.

.

The rest of the day was very relaxed.

Remus and Tonks spent much time together and when it got late afternoon and Sirius still hadn't returned they decided to prepare dinner.

Or to be precise: Remus prepared dinner and reluctantly gave the cooking spoon to Tonks from time to time, watching her with a worried look.

At the smallest hint of clumsiness he flinched.

"Be careful, don't burn yourself, Tonks!" mumbled Remus, pulling himself together so he wouldn't just push her away from the pots.

"Oh come on, I can't screw up that much with Spaghetti Bolognese," she grinned.

"YOU could set the kitchen on fire," he joked.

"Watch out, young man!" she said, waving the spoon around threateningly.

Of course a big smudge of tomato-sauce landed on her blouse.

"Damnit!" she cursed while Remus smiled and shook his head.

"What's going on?" asked Sirius who had entered the kitchen unnoticed.

"Ah, nothing, our chef just spilled sauce on herself," said Remus smiling and yet his cheeks reddened a bit as if Sirius had caught them doing something embarrassing.

"Oh no, I love this blouse," moaned Tonks and looked at the stain on her chest.

"I'll look after that later, okay? Just go and change if you want, dinner's ready anyway," said Remus cheery and looked after her as she left the kitchen.

"Why so cheerful?" asked Sirius who was leaning in the doorframe.

"We talked and...I explained it to her. And, well, I'm afraid I couldn't convince her of my wretchedness. Instead she convinced me of trying it with her..." said Remus quietly and looked at his friend with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Are you serious? Moony, finally! Tonks is old enough to know what she wants. I know you are always going to doubt it, so try and go with your guts," said Sirius smiling.

"Nah, not now...full-moon's approaching, I should avoid listening to my inner self right now," replied Remus, obviously annoyed with the upcoming transformation.

"So what? You want to kiss her? Just do it for Merlin's sake. That's exactly what I meant!" said Sirius.

"Sure because the wolf would be completely satisfied with a small, little kiss and curl up again," scoffed Remus and Sirius started to leer.

"What of it! Do you really think she doesn't want it, too? Merlin, Remus, you've been stringing her along for months! And if she doesn't like something she'll tell you...or hex you through the wall, she's a trained Auror, Moony!"

"Tadaaa!" yelled Tonks only seconds later and jumped into the kitchen but she didn't seem to have heard anything.

She had swapper her blouse for a pink top with a deep neckline.

Remus immediately turned away and could literally feel Sirius mischievous grin on his back.

_Great, how am I supposed to look at her now? Why doesn't she just hang herself with flashing neon signs pointing at her breasts?,_ thought Remus.

But eventually he managed to eat with the others without keeping his eyes closed.

They spent the rest of the afternoon separately.

Sirius was grumpily doing his paperwork, Tonks seemed to tidy her room, at least it sounded like it for Remus, and Remus put the stuff from his flat away in his cupboards and drawers.

.

Around nine o' clock someone knocked on his door.

"Come in!" he yelled without turning around, trying to arrange his books.

"Still busy?"

It was Tonks.

Remus turned around and to his relief she had put on a big, grey sweatshirt-jacket and a yellow scarf on top of her low cut top.

_Thank Merlin_, he thought.

"Well, I had to put that stuff away some time anyway. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Sirius is downstairs talking to Harry via floo-powder. And he's not in the best mood, who could blame him, I know these bloody Ministry-papers. Anyway, I could use some company...I mean, if you have time and don't mind," she said and smiled at him so Remus couldn't have denied her even if he'd wanted to.

"Sure, sit down, I'll just have to find a place for those two books, then I'm done for today."

And so he put his books away with a smirk on his lips.

Tonks was sitting on his bed cross-legged and looked around his room.

One of his shirts was hanging over his chair.

The boxes from his flat hadn't been completely emptied yet because he obviously didn't know where to put his stuff.

"That's it for today," said Remus, dropped onto his bed and crossed his arms behind his head.

Tonks, who was still sitting upright, patted his stomach.

"Poor wolfie!" she joked and looked at him faux-pitying.

"Should I just quickly look after your blouse?" asked Remus.

"No, that can wait...you're a good house husband, you know?" she grinned.

"Yeah..." he said with a sigh. "At least we already assigned the roles."

Tonks sank back onto the mattress now, too, but turned onto her stomach to look at him.

.

"It's full moon again in a few days..." she said and smoothened the blanket with her hand absentmindedly.

"Hey!" said Remus quietly as he saw the worry lines on her forehead and gently lifted her chin with his hand. "I'll be fine, Dora, I'm feeling much better than last time. I've been living with this nearly my whole live now, don't worry."

"Should I-" she said but Remus immediately cut her off.

"No, you won't stay with me this time. I'm fine on my own. But you can take care of me afterwards if you want,"

"I see, Mr. Lupin is into the nurse-thing, interesting," she grinned seductively.

_Sirius is not right, Sirius is not right, Sirius is not right_, persuaded Remus himself.

"If you say so...Dora?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't leave anymore tonight, right?"

"Not if I can avoid it," she grinned. "I somehow don't want to be alone tonight."

Remus got quiet and looked at the ceiling again.

"Remus?"

"I don't want to be alone, either, if I'm being honest. And that has always been my problem. I never wanted to be alone but I was always afraid of losing everyone I let into my life. It was the same with you and I'm still bloody afraid. But you leave me no choice." He said seriously and looked into her eyes.

"I'm glad you told me...that you trust me. But you're always thinking too far ahead and way too negatively, Remus. Just try to forget it and enjoy the evening with me, okay? What do you think?" she said softly and gently kissed his cheek.

A warm sensation spread on his neck as he felt her soft lips brush against his skin.

"Sorry, didn't shave..." he mumbled sheepishly and blushed a little.

"Well, then there'll be no wild snogging for you, my friend, I'm sorry," she joked.

"You're wonderful, Dora, and I really enjoy your closeness, it's just...I don't want to rush anything," he said shyly and felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

"Why are you even worrying about that? In my opinion there hasn't been anything even close to "rushed" yet," she said and winked at him.

"Maybe because I pull myself together..." he admitted.

"And how about you stop doing that for a change?" she asked with a charming smile and leant over him, supporting herself on her arms next to his shoulders.

.

Remus suddenly grinned mischievously and before Tonks knew what was happening she was lying on her back with his face only inches over hers.

Surprised but not scared she looked at him with big brown eyes.

"Then this could happen," he said and let go of her after a few seconds. "And I don't want to overpower you, you know. I'm serious about the time around full-moon...I'm not quite myself."

"I respect that, Remus, but I think it's just another side of you. You are the wolf, there's no demon inside you. Just your emotional, impulsive side. And, well, sometimes I would welcome a more impulsive side of you," she explained smiling gently but mumbled and blushed towards the end.

"Good to know you can be shy, too," he said smiling.

"You look tired, Remus...let's go to sleep," she said.

"Good idea."

.

Remus went to the bathroom first and when he returned Tonks was already wearing her pyjama, ready to go brush her teeth.

Well, in her case pyjama meant baby-blue shorts with little clouds and pink, flying pigs on them and a huge white t-shirt.

"Flying pigs, huh?" asked Remus with a wide grin as he appeared in the doorframe again.

"Yes!" she said, walked past him sticking out her tongue.

Remus shook his head smiling and swapped his shirt for a wide grey t-shirt.

"Soo..." mumbled Tonks, when she came back.

"Not in bed, yet?" she asked winking and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Still contemplating my sleeping outfit..." he admitted and blushed a bit.

"Well, you're on a good way, but if I were you I would take off those pants...oh come on, it wouldn't be the first time for me to see some of your skin, Remus," said Tonks cheerfully.

And so he hesitantly started to undress until he stood there in his boxers but Tonks had already snuggled into the blanket and was facing the wall.

And so he just quickly put on his pyjama pants and joined her.

"Can I sleep on the inner side of the bed?" asked Tonks with big eyes from under the blanket.

"Sure, the big wolf will sleep on the outer side and protect you. But only if I get some of the blanket."

"Oh, sure!" she answered happily, lifted the cover and snuggled her back against his chest and belly.

Remus flinched a bit...in this position he would get a good impression of Tonks' curves the whole night...with an anything but insensitive part of his body.

But Tonks didn't seem to mind and just mumbled a quiet "Good night!".

"Night," said Remus quietly and eventually wrapped his arm around her.

_What a difference a day makes,_ thought Remus and watched the happily smiling Tonks in his arms until he fell asleep, warmed by her back...


	10. in the rain

**Hey guys! :3 *group hug***

**Thank you all very much for your reviews! It always helps me a lot and I'm always trying to improve. So if there's anything you don't like or don't agree with, feel free to tell me :) **

**This chap is very Dora/Remus focused again. I hope you like it. **

**I wrote this chapter quite a while ago and before Remus' biography was released on pottermore, so my version of Remus' family affairs might be a bit different from the canon version. I didn't check again and I wanted to keep it the way I originally wrote it. So don't be confused if it differs from the pottermore information. :)**

**Enjoy this chapter, I hope it makes your autumn day a bit warmer and better!**

** PablosGirl**

remusdora: Thank you very much! I'm drowning in chocolate...best possible death ever ;) And yes, Remus is really willing to try it with Tonks now, but there'll be some drama in their way...curious? :D

JKStorm501: Yay! I'm glad you liked it so much! Enjoy the next chapter :)

danadanaBATMAN: Guuurl you'll still have to wait a bit longer. I don't want to spoil too much but the kiss is only less than six chapters away. But don't worry, the chapters in between are worth reading...that drama! ;)

the394thdauntlesscake: If you love drama you'll probably love the next chapters! I'm already curious for your reaction :) Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning Remus was woken up by the first sunbeams shining through the window.

_Damnit!,_ he thought.

As carefully as possible, so he wouldn't wake Tonks who was snuggled up in his blanket, he got up and stumbled through the room on his tired feet.

He quietly closed the curtains and then sneaked back to his bed.

A smile spread across his face as he looked at the pink-haired woman in it.

She was adorable when she was sleeping.

Her hair was falling into her face and her fingers slightly moved as if she was dreaming, and yet Remus thought she was beautiful.

Her pretty face, her curves...

Eventually Remus turned away and sneaked to the door to go to the bathroom.

But when the door made a quiet clicking noise he heard a rustling behind him.

"Wherareyougoing?" mumbled Tonks, more asleep than awake.

"Just quickly to the bathroom, I'll be right back, Dora. Don't worry," he said with a beaming smile and closed the door behind him.

.

Downstairs in the kitchen Sirius was sitting at the table and thought about the last days.

Maybe Remus would finally give in to Tonks.

Maybe he just had to badger him a bit more...

And maybe this entire hubbub about the trial would have some positive impact.

The whole country not only knew that he was free now, but also that it had been two Werewolves who had caught Pettigrew.

It could change their image, at least a little bit.

And who knows, maybe it would even get Remus a job in the end...

_Didn't Kingsley say something about big knowledge and experience gaps concerning Werewolves in the Ministry?_

Sirius had to go there again anyway.

All these forms and documents were driving Sirius out of his mind but Remus had actually always been good with such formalities.

And so the Animagic stood up and went upstairs.

He quickly knocked on Remus' door but when he didn't get an answer he just opened it and peeped inside.

.

And he didn't believe what he saw: a peacefully sleeping pink-haired witch was lying in his bed.

_That bloody ladykiller!,_ thought Sirius with a mischievous grin. _I don't want to rush anything, you know, full-moon...sure, Remus. _

"Sirius!" hissed somebody behind him and he turned around.

"What are you doing?" asked Remus whispering but more than bewildered.

"How about _you_ tell _me_ what you were doing, Moony. Well, you obviously took my advice to heart," smirked Sirius and carefully closed the door again.

Remus moaned annoyed and rubbed his face with his hand.

"Nothing happened, alright?" he hissed at Sirius who seemed more than amused.

"Sure, that's why your pants are lying on the floor and Tonks in your bed."

"Why am I bothering at all?" said Remus more to himself than to Sirius. "Sirius, nothing happened...we just wanted to spend some time together after all this chaos. She told me to take things less seriously, too, but we just cuddled, okay? And that's the last thing I'll say about it...what did you want from me in the first place?"

"Oh, yes! Would you come to the Ministry with me and help me with all these bloody forms? Come on, Moony, pleeeease!" whined Sirius.

"After all that mocking of yours? I'm sorry, but I'm on guard duty for the Order today, anyway."

And with these words he disappeared into his room again.

.

"Hey!" he whispered as he sat down next to Tonks. "Did you sleep well, Dora?"

He hesitantly lifted his hand and brushed some of her pink hair out of her face.

"Better than in a long time," she beamed at him and stretched.

"Me, too," he smiled. "Breakfast?"

"Sure! Who were you just talking to?"

Remus sighed.

"Sirius. He was looking for me and burst in here while I was in the bathroom...you don't feel embarrassed now, do you? I'm sorry, next time I'll just lock the door," he said and blushed.

"Why should I? I slept here and that's it," she said casually and sat up.

"And we just cuddled," added Remus.

"I wouldn't have cared either if it had been more than just cuddling," she said blinking, sat up on her shins and gave Remus a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Ouuuu, you even shaved today," she joked.

"That's why it took me a few minutes longer," he grinned.

"For all I care you don't always have to shave...I like your stubble," she said with a tender smile.

"How convenient," he grinned and stood up. "Come on, let's go eat something."

.

After breakfast Remus and Tonks, who was still in her pyjama, went to the living room.

Remus sat down on the middle of the sofa and Tonks placed her legs on his lap naturally.

Convinced by her smile he started to stroke her lower legs, cautiously avoiding to get above her knees.

_The sight is already enough for me_, he thought and stroked her smooth, soft skin while buried in thought.

"Hey, daydreamer! What are you thinking about?" she laughed and nudged him playfully.

"About you and your legs...but also about guard duty and full-moon..." he mumbled.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I could at least accompany you on guard duty. I don't have much to do today anyway. What do you say?" she tried to cheer him up.

"Sure, why not. But it'll be in Muggle-London, just to let you know."

"Oh, okay. Then you'll take the lead, unless I'll just get lost."

"Sure, I know the area quite well," he said, trying to sound as casually as possible but she already looked at her with her head tilted.

"Well, here I am dodgy and probably a Werewolf, at least around full-moon. There I'm just a tired, sick man. I used to spend more time there than, for example, in Diagon Ally. But that's not important, we should go and get ready."

.

Ten minutes later they were ready to leave.

"You won't need that!" said Tonks as Remus wanted to take a big umbrella with him.

"Whatever you say..." he said and they left number 12.

A few minutes later they were standing in a small side street in London.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"Where...well, your parents..." she said awkwardly.

She wanted to get to know him better but didn't want to hit a sore spot.

"They're still alive, yes. But they emigrated when the first war began," he said calmly and watched the area instead of looking at her.

"But...you were barely of age and just left school back then, right?" she asked a bit confused.

"Yeah, but Canada was and still is much calmer and safer than Britain. They tried to convince me at all cost, but I didn't want to leave," he explained and eventually looked at her.

"Because of Sirius, Lily and James, hm?" she asked and looked at him tenderly.

"Yes, I just didn't want to bolt. I wanted to do something..."

"Are you still in touch, you and your parents? Do you have a good relationship?" she kept asking carefully.

"Is this going to be an interview?" he asked smirking. "Our relationship is...strange. Sometimes I'm sad I barely ever see them, especially my mum."

"What about your dad?" asked Tonks as they slowly walked down the street.

Remus cleared his throat.

"It was different after I got infected. He loved me and just wanted the best for me. But from this day on his anger towards Greyback was standing in between us and coloured everything he said or did. My mum always kept us together and gave me at least a little bit of confidence...I've never been the outgoing type. But my father always gave me the feeling that the issue of the Werewolf was extremely important and determined everything. Maybe that's why I got this way..." he told her and smiled sadly.

.

Tonks suddenly stopped and held him back by his arm.

"You are amazing, Remus! I...I may be young and maybe you think I don't have that much experience sometimes. But believe me, I've had a few boyfriends in my life...I've been happy for a while with every single one of them. But I wouldn't have cared for any one of them as much as I do now for you. One of them was egoistic and cared more for himself than anything else. The other one didn't know what he wanted and was looking at other women the whole time. And another one suddenly thought I was too fat."

Remus already opened his mouth to protest but Tonks kept speaking before he could say anything.

"You are older and you know what you want. You're just too shy to get it and feel like you're not worth it. But believe me, Remus, no one ever made me feel so happy before. I feel so safe when I'm with you and I never want to leave again. You are intelligent and caring...and on top of that you look great! What more could I ask-"

.

And right at that moment it suddenly started to rain heavily.

"Come on!" said Remus, grabbed her arm and hurried to the wall of a nearby pub, which sheltered them from the rain at least a little bit.

Breathing heavily they reached the wall and Remus steered her at the wall to protect her from the pouring rain.

"Come here, you're going to get soaking wet!" she laughed and pulled him closer towards her at his coat.

"No problem, as long as you don't," he smiled. "Dora...I don't know how to say this..."

Searching his brain for the right words he looked into her eyes while her breath formed small clouds of fog in the suddenly cold air.

"I forbad myself to feel anything for any woman my whole life long. They always run away from me, at the latest when I tell them the truth about my condition. Let alone the danger I'd be..."

He stepped even closer to Tonks because the wind had turned and now the wall didn't shelter them from the pouring rain either.

Slowly but surely the fabric of their coats darkened and Tonks' pink hair fell into her face in wet, dripping strands.

.

"And then you come along and screw up all my rules. I fall in love with you and everything's so confusing because you return it although you don't even know me really. And I know I shouldn't allow it, but I can't change it because I want it. Dora, believe me, I'm not playing any games with you. I couldn't do that and I won't. And I think you're beautiful. And I don't mean some morphed version of you but the woman who was lying in my bed this morning. You are so incredibly important to me and that's why I don't want to do anything wrong...I..."

Slowly, nearly on its own, his face inched closer to hers.

His breath was trembling when she lifted her head towards his.

He wrapped his arms around her, her hand wandered to his neck...

There were only a few centimetres between their lips and Remus could feel her warm breath.

He smelled her scent, saw the pattern of her iris and felt that she was slightly shivering, too...

.

Then suddenly a few dustbins at the end of the street clattered with a deafening noise, followed by the yammer and hissing of two fighting cats.

Tonks and Remus scattered away from each other and drew their wands before they realised that it had only been the two strays and not a bunch of Death Eaters.

They slowly let their wands sink down again.

Remus dropped his shoulders and turned around to Tonks with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Dora. Somehow I always manage to ruin everything," he said quietly and looked at her with a apologetic smile while the rain ran down his face.

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault, Remus...but it was very nice before we got interrupted..." she replied smiling.

"Does that mean you want to pick up where we left off?" he asked smirking.

"I'd love to, believe me, but I think we should look for some dry spot. We have to go on anyway," said Tonks and now she gave him an apologetic smile.

"You're right...but I'll make up for that, promise!" he replied with a crooked smile.

"Well, I hope so!" she laughed and they started to walk.


	11. all over?

**Hey guys...or guuuurls :3 *group hug***

**I'm glad you liked the last chapter, I promise there'll be more cute Remus/Dora moments in the future. **

**But for now you'll have to go through some drama...yes, the drama begins! **

**It would have been far too easy if the two would live happily ever after from now on, right? ;) **

**And as always: thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Writing this story is really fun and I enjoy it very much, mostly because of you! You always motivate me to translate and I'm always looking forward to reading your comments and communicating with you! **

**So here it goes, the next chapter!**

***handing out chocolate and warm, fluffy blankets***

** PablosGirl**

the394thdauntlesscake: I hope you enjoy this chapter, too, because now the drama begins :D I'd be glad to give you some of my favourite stories, I hope you don't know them yet. But I'll send you the names in a private message because it would be waaaaay too long to write it here ;) Enjoy!

remusdora: I'm fine, thank you very much! I hope you are fine, too! :) Merlin, if this was real chocolate I'd be fat by nowl...and it's not even christmas yet :D Yes, I know, they were really close. Every normal person would have already kissed Tonks in all these situations...but it's Remus and it would be boring if he was normal, right? ;) Enjoy!

Is A Bell X3: Don't worry, the chapter before the kiss will be worth reading, at least I hope so! There'll be drama, feelings and funny Sirius/Remus moments. Oh, and another part of Remus' life will be revealed (well, a part I thought of with my little head ^^). So, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

The rest of the day went on uneventfully.

After they had drunken a cup of tea both Remus and Tonks went upstairs.

Tonks had to finish some reports for the Aurors' office while Remus helped Sirius work through several forms for the Animagic-registration.

Remus felt extremely tired and it was hard for him to keep his eyes open and concentrate.

He had hidden it in front of Tonks but the day in the cold and rain had taken a lot out of him.

More than before on this day he felt the approaching full-moon.

It was still two days until full-moon and yet Remus could have fallen asleep on the spot.

And so he was more than relieved when he sank down on his bed an hour later and instantly fell asleep.

Tonks however was still sitting at her desk over her boring papers.

_He really did it, he wanted to kiss me_, she daydreamed and smiled. _Let's see what tomorrow will bring..._

But if Tonks had known what the next day would really bring she wouldn't have slept so peacefully...

.

Remus woke up quite early the next morning but he couldn't bring himself to get up.

He felt exhausted and powerless.

_Maybe I'll be able to eat breakfast with Dora if I get up now,_ he thought but eventually his headache made him stay in bed instead.

And so he decided to prepare dinner for her as soon as she returned home from work...

.

Half an hour later Tonks was already at the Ministry.

"Morning, Mad-Eye!" she said cheerfully.

But the old Auror just grunted and looked at a paper he was reading with a frown.

"What's wrong? Is there a field mission today?" asked Tonks and stepped closer.

"Suspicion of Death Eaters in a village near Oxford. We have to go there in a few hours," explained Kingsley briefly as he entered the office.

"Finally something to do...it's about time," mumbled Tonks.

"It's very risky, girl! How often do I have to tell you that we can be happy about every day full of paperwork?" grunted Moody.

"Okay, okay...if it only wasn't raining like mad..."

In the meantime until the mission Tonks tried to get as much paperwork as possible done.

And yet she felt how strained her colleagues were...this really had to be a dangerous mission...

.

Tonks apparated into a dark, foggy street of the village.

It took her a few seconds to orientate and find her colleagues.

"Tonks, you'll go with Mad-Eye and Christopher. Jim, Thomas and Clyde, you go into this direction. Rupert and Richard you'll come with me. Take care. You know the drill, green sparks if you find anything, red sparks in case of emergency," explained Kingsley whispering and so the groups walked away into different directions.

After they had walked along the cobblestone street for a while Tonks and her colleagues arrived at a big market square.

But the fog made it hard to see anything and so they couldn't see much farer than 10 metres.

"We better split up," said Mad-Eye briefly and the three went different paths across the market place.

.

Now being all alone Tonks thought that this place looked somewhat creepy but she was professional enough not to be scared.

She searched the fog with her eyes and flinched.

Had something just moved?

With her wand lifted she slowly went on and listened to the pouring rain.

Rain and fog...strange.

There, again!

Was she just imagining it?

Or maybe it had been one of her colleagues?

She stopped tensely and listened carefully.

Footsteps?

This wasn't just one person but two!

She instantly started to run through the pouring rain and saw a violet flash in the distance.

The closer she got the clearer she could make out the silhouettes of two people in the fog.

One of them was lying on the floor and the other one was standing over them, pointing their wand at them.

Only one second, thought Tonks and made herself wait for the green sparks.

But they never came.

And so she burst off.

"Expelliarmus!" she yelled while running and pointed her wand at the standing shadow.

But the latter started to run and was gone before Tonks could see anything.

Breathing heavily she stopped in front of the person on the ground.

It was Christopher, her colleague!

She knelt down beside him and checked his pulse, it was weak, but it was there.

He was still breathing but seemed to be hit with full force.

"Damnit!" she hissed and let red sparks emerge from her wand and into the dark grey sky.

Then suddenly something hit her back and everything went black around her...

.

One hour later Remus entered number 12 again.

He had planned to make up for the missed kiss yesterday.

He wanted to go for a walk with her, sit down in front of the fireplace, anything, which would make her relax from the long shift today.

And maybe she would stay with him again tonight...

He was just putting his coat on a hook in the hallway when a pale white Sirius stepped into the room.

Remus flinched.

"Sirius! What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

The Animagic swallowed and then started to speak.

"Take it easy, Remus, just listen to me, please," said Sirius with a trembling voice.

"Sirius, what happened?" asked Remus even more firmly.

"Remus...the Aurors had a mission...Kingsley just sent me a message...they were attacked," stammered Sirius, still in shock himself.

"Dora..." whispered Remus and stared at his friend.

"Tonks was badly injured...they brought her to St. Mungos. Kingsley said we should come as quickly as possible," said Sirius powerless.

"No..." whispered Remus to himself.

And so the two men rushed out of the door together and disapparated.

.

"Nymphadora Tonks, Auror, she was just taken here," gasped Sirius at the reception desk.

The witch nodded with a serious expression and told them the way to the emergency room.

Everything around Remus started to blur and he didn't pay attention to what was happening around them.

When they arrived at the emergency corridor there was already a group of Aurors waiting for them, Kingsley and Mad-Eye were with them, too.

Kingsley had a light bandage around his wrist, too.

"How is she doing?" asked Remus immediately and looked at Kingsley.

But he could only shrug his shoulders.

Remus bit his lower lip and didn't know what to do.

Then suddenly a nurse entered through a door.

"Mr. Stevens will be brought to a room in a few minutes. He was badly hit but he'll be able to go back home tomorrow."

"What about Tonks?" asked Sirius.

The witch looked around the tensed faces.

"Miss Tonks is still being treated at the moment. She was severely injured. We assume that she was hit by two curses at the same time. It's critical. I'll tell you as soon as I know more."

With these words the nurse disappeared back into the door, leaving behind a picture of misery consisting of several grown men.

No one dared to say a word and some of them kept their eyes on the ground.

"What happened?" asked Remus suddenly after a few minutes.

His voice sounded strangely hoarse and hollow.

"We saw red sparks in the sky and immediately rushed to help. But when we arrived she was already lying on the floor motionless. Christopher was lying next to her. We think that one of them sent out the sparks because they had found the other one and was attacked off-guard. We're sorry, we weren't fast enough," explained Kingsley quietly with his low, now bitterness coloured, voice.

.

"What does he have to do with our mission? Who the hell is this? It's not our fault!" spat the youngest Auror, a blonde, freckled man, unasked and watched Remus with a searching look.

But Remus just stared back without a single word.

"Jim! Now' not the time for discussions!" replied Kingsley calmly.

"I know the other one, that's Sirius Black, everyone knows him. He's her cousin or something like that...but I've got no fucking idea what this one's doing here...not the right place for a Werewolf just before full-moon," the young man kept taunting.

Remus had known it.

There had been more than pure suspicion in his appraising glance.

He had known it from the moment Remus had entered the corridor with dark circles around his eyes.

"Listen up, Palmer! This man's got the same damn right to be here like you. Tonks knows him very well. So keep your rubbish to yourself or I'll throw you out of this hospital with my own hands!" grunted Moody.

Palmer...he could have guessed it.

This had been the name of this colleague of Tonks' who had written this awful text about Werewolves she had asked Remus to help her with.

The other men, all broad-chested and tall, were watching Remus now, too. But not with the same derogative look but rather attentively.

.

Remus just snorted annoyed and turned away.

He was pacing up and down the corridor until Sirius eventually grabbed his arm.

"She's going to be okay..." said Sirius not very convincing and looked at him with reddened eyes.

"My little coz..." he sighed, hid his face in his hands and sat down.

Remus stood in front of him for a few seconds but then sat down next to his friend.

"Tonks is strong...she'll make it. At least I hope so, I don't know..." said Remus tonelessly and stared at the tiled floor.

Then suddenly a door opened.

"The healers have done their best," said the nurse from earlier.

No!, thought Remus in shock and he felt as if his knees would give way any moment.

"But the curses hurt her badly. She was put into an artificial coma to give her body some rest. She's not out of the woods yet. You can see her, I'll bring you to her room. But please not all at once. And don't make it too hard for yourselves. She doesn't perceive anything from outside now."

Remus exhaled deeply.

For one second he had thought that it was all over.

But Dora wasn't safe yet.

"Is she...does she suffer pain?" asked Sirius feebly.

"We are constantly giving her painkillers and observing her condition. I'll look after her personally."

.

At first Tonks colleagues entered her room and left it again with sorrowful faces.

They slowly walked towards the exit while one of them hesitated and turned around to Remus and Sirius again.

"I'm sorry about Palmer. None of us really like him. I have to apologize for his behaviour. He just got the job because of his father who's a big cheese in the Ministry. We know that you just want the best for our Tonks and that you are a fine chap, Mr. Lupin. You've proven it. Goodbye."

Remus didn't know what to say so he just nodded with a forced smile and they entered Tonks' room.

A nurse was just giving her another shot .

"Merlin..." whispered Sirius unwittingly as he saw the pale, nearly lifeless looking Tonks in the big hospital bed. "My poor, little coz..."

Remus sat down on the chair next to her bed and carefully caressed her hand, just as if he was afraid he could break it.

Tears filled his eyes when he thought about the last days.

He had wanted to kiss her, finally, after he had been fighting with himself for so long.

And now?

Now she was lying in this hospital bed, more dead than alive, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, he could do for her.

Seeking help he looked at Sirius but he was standing at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed in front of his chest and cried silently.

Remus cried, too, and so they stayed another half hour until Sirius raised his hoarse voice again.

.

"We should leave, Remus, it's time."

"What?"

"We can't do anything, Remus...I told the nurse to inform us via floo immediately if anything happens. We should get some rest, especially you...just in case she wakes up tomorrow. She'll need us," whispered Sirius as if he wouldn't want to wake Tonks up.

Only then Remus realized it again...tomorrow would be full-moon.

And the sun already set early at the time.

He wouldn't be able to stay with her very long.

He desperately clenched his fists until his knuckles shined white through his skin.

But then he nodded, gently kissed Tonks' forehead one last time just like Sirius and they left the hospital reluctantly.

When they arrived at number 12 the house seemed to be even darker and colder than ever.

Without further words they went into the living-room where Remus made a fire and Sirius grabbed a bottle of fire whisky.

.

And so they sat there silently, drinking the burning alcohol and staring into the flames.

Silent tears ran down Remus' cheeks and he clenched his teeth.

What if she didn't wake up?

What if that was it?

What if she had left for work and never returned home?

What if she died tonight and he didn't get the chance to keep his promise, to touch her, to hear her laugh...

Remus screwed up his eyes in despair and emptied his glass in one swig.

He held it in front of Sirius to fill it up again.

"Remus...it's not your fault that it's full moon. I'll look after her while you're gone," said Sirius and filled his glass with the amber liquid.

"That's not it...I actually know that my presence won't change or influence anything. It's just...we nearly kissed...and now..." said Remus and tried to control his breathing.

"What do you mean? When?" asked Sirius puzzled.

Remus took a few deep breaths before he started to speak again.

"She went on guard duty with me yesterday. She assured me that she's sure about me, that I'd be good as I am and would make her happy. It started to rain like hell and I tried to shelter her from it. Only two more seconds and we would've kissed. But we startled because two bloody cats knocked over some dustbins. I promised her to make good for it...and now?"

Remus' voice broke down.

"You'll get your chance, Moony! You sure will! You should go to bed, Remus, you're already completely exhausted. And tomorrow won't be any better, you know that," said Sirius.

"I'll stay here, don't worry, feel free to go upstairs. See you tomorrow..." replied Remus and looked back at the flames.

When Sirius left the room Remus let his head drop onto the backrest and thought about the words from the old man in the park.

_You can't miss something you've never had..._


	12. alone on full-moon

**Good morning everyone! I hope you have a great day! :)**

**Thank you all so much for your feedback and all the reviews! I'm glad you liked the chap...oh, when I think about all the drama which is still ahead of us ;)**

**This one is a little bit short, so I think I'll upload another chap today. **

**Where I live it's grey and rainy and ugh...so grab your fluffy blanket, a hot beverage and enjoy the chap! :3 **

***group hug from me and slobbery dog kisses from Pablo***

** PablosGirl**

pleione-x: OH NOOO! I hope not! I still want to read "You and I were meant to be" ;) But I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! :) Enjoy the chap!

Aereal: First of all: thank you very much for your feedback! :) I'm happy you like my little story. I know what you mean with the dialogue, do you have any idea how I could improve it? You're right, writing "natural" dialogues is quite tricky and I guess that translating it makes it even worse ;) I'm afraid I'm still too focused on translating literally. So if you have any tips for me, just let me know. Remus is going to care for Tonks, don't worry ;) Enjoy!

Is A Bell X3: Oh noooo! *handing out tissues* Yes, I know, I'm a bad author for making you suffer...but if Pablo had raised me right I would probably be digging for mice and rolling around in stinky stuff right now instead of translating this story :D Well, Padfoot might enjoy that ;) I hope you enjoy the next chap!

remusdora: I'm glad I was able to surprise you with this plot twist but, psssst, don't worry, Tonks will be fine in the end ;) Remus will have to suffer a bit until he sees her again, you'll see. Yes, the kiss isn't that far away anymore and I'm sure there'll be some fluff for you :) Enjoy the next chapter!

JKStorm501: I'm glad you are excited for the next chapter :) I always think of Sirius of some kind of big-brother-type for Tonks. Maybe Tonks will already wake up again this chapter...we'll see ;) Enjoy!

Renata MM: I'm not sure if you've left a review before, so: Welcome to my story! :) Thank you very much for your feedback, I'm glad you like it so far :) Enjoy!

danadanaBATMAN: That's the reaction I was hoping for ;) Remus will have to suffer a little longer, but he'll get his kiss soon :) Enjoy!

* * *

The night had been surprisingly still.

There had been no messages from the hospital and Remus had eventually fallen into a dreamless sleep.

Now only his neck was hurting since he had spent all night on the sofa in the living-room.

Today he was feeling even more tired than the day before.

Only the wolf inside him got stronger and urged to break out, move and start running.

And Remus was quite sure _where_ it would run.

To Tonks.

.

After a very short breakfast the two men left for the hospital again.

But when they arrived not much had changed.

Tonks was still lying in her bed sleeping and didn't show any signs of consciousness or reaction.

And yet they stayed with her the whole day and didn't take their eyes off her...tears filling them from time to time.

It was almost half past four when the door opened and Kingsley and Mad-Eye entered.

"How is she?" asked Moody.

He seemed to be worried about his favourite student.

"Unchanged," answered Sirius briefly and stepped up to them while Remus kept sitting by her side and holding her hand.

He looked tired and restless at the same time.

Kingsley saw that, too.

.

"Remus, the sun will set in about two hours. Maybe you should leave soon..." said the Auror carefully.

Remus bit his lower lip.

"He's right, boy. You know it yourself and we only want your best," added Moody grunting.

"I...I still have a little time," said Remus quietly without taking his eyes off her.

"Remus, you haven't left her side since morning. And you're pretty whacked. I'll stay here with her, okay? You can count on me," said Sirius, trying to convince his friend. "And if she wakes up in the meantime she'll know why you're not here."

The Werewolf nodded.

With a loud sigh Remus stood up, lightly squeezed her hand and gently kissed her forehead.

He avoided the others' eyes as he walked to the door and then turned around again.

"I'll be back soon. It won't take long," he said with a hoarse voice, but not towards the men but towards the sleeping Tonks.

He looked at Sirius one last time and his friend knew exactly what was going through his mind.

Whenever he was emotional or worried around full-moon the wolf would get even worse and blow off its steam.

Tomorrow Remus would return with some more bruises and scratches than usual...

"It's really afflicting him, isn't it?" grunted Moony after Remus had left and Sirius nodded.

"They get along very well and he always feels like he has to protect her. And now he can't do anything. Being helpless has always been the worst for him," said Sirius thoughtfully.

He knew that both Remus and Tonks wouldn't appreciate it if he told them about their feelings for each other.

And, well, technically speaking Sirius had told the truth...

.

When Remus arrived at number 12 it was already starting to get dark outside.

His eyes were burning and his head was droning from all the tears.

His joints were aching and he felt more miserable and energetic than ever at the same time...the wolf was approaching.

And so he slowly went upstairs into his room and lay down on his bed.

When he concentrated he could still smell Tonks' scent in his sheets.

Maybe this would calm the wolf down a bit...or make him even more furious.

The minutes felt like hours and no matter how many transformations he had already gone through, he still felt fear rise inside him at the sight of the full-moon in front of his window.

The burning sensation in his muscles got worse and worse and Remus clenched his teeth.

Bones cracked.

He clenched his fists and thought about Dora...then he passed out.

.

The wolf raged the whole night long and vandalized the room which kept him trapped.

He wanted to get out.

Run, howl, hunt.

He wanted to get to Tonks, didn't want to be alone anymore.

When Sirius went to bed late at night he heard loud thuds as the wolf launched itself at the door.

If it hadn't been charmed, the wood would already have burst hours ago.

Even after all these nights at the school grounds, when the wolf hadn't been tamed by the wolfsbane potion, Sirius still hadn't got used to it.

It was still hard for him, even after all these years, because the certainty of Remus being at the wolf's mercy hurt him every time anew.

Eventually Sirius fell asleep and hoped that Tonks' state would change soon.

.

When Sirius woke up the next morning and walked past Remus' door he listened for any noise from his room.

But nothing could be heard from behind the door.

"Remus?" said Sirius pointlessly.

He knew Remus was sleeping right now and he still would be for a while.

And yet it was a habit for Sirius.

So he chewed on his toast half-heartedly and then went upstairs to feed Buckbeak some rats.

"I'm sorry big boy, I'll have to leave again. Aunt Tonksie is sick. We'll play soon, promise."

The hippogriff curiously tilted his head from left to right when Sirius spoke and hissed protestingly as he left the room again.

When Sirius knocked on Tonks' door at St. Mungos half an hour later and entered his heart skipped a beat.

Her eyes were open and she slowly turned her head towards him as the door quietly clicked shut behind him.

"Sirius?" she asked mumbling.

She must have woken up only a minute ago.

"Tonks! You're awake?" stammered Sirius surprised and stepped to her bed.

"Yeah...why not?" she mumbled confused. "My head is buzzing."

"I'll quickly go get a nurse, I'll be right back."

.

One minute later a beaming Sirius entered the room again, followed by a nurse and a healer.

"Miss Tonks, how are you feeling? We didn't expect you to wake up that soon," said the healer pleased.

"What actually...Christopher?! Where is he? Is he alright?" babbled Tonks and suddenly seemed to be wide awake again.

Her memory had obviously returned.

"Mr. Stevens will be able to go home to his family this afternoon. He's alright and he and his family are waiting eagerly to thank you. But your condition was much worse, you've probably been hit by several curses. We had to put you into an artificial coma. This morning we decreased the dose of the medicine, but we didn't expect you to come back that quickly."

"So I'm over the worst?" asked Tonks a bit tiredly.

"Yes. Do you have any complaints?" asked the nurse.

"Well, I'm quite hungry..." mumbled Tonks sheepishly.

"Well, that shouldn't be the problem!" laughed the healer.

.

But Tonks suddenly remembered something else and looked up at Sirius with widened eyes.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked confused.

"About two days..." he answered and it dawned to him what she was getting at. "Last night was full-moon. He's been here the whole time. He sat there the whole day long yesterday and held your hand until we sent him home."

"So he was alone?" asked Tonks more to herself than to Sirius.

"You've been the only thing he worried about. We were all so afraid for you. He wanted to be here when you wake up...or when something happens. I guess he'll be here in a few hours. The night has been quite rough."

"If you're still feeling good in two hours we'll transfer you to a normal ward. Here's something against the hunger," said the nurse as she entered the room again with a big tray and left again.

.

When Remus slowly opened his eyes he looked at a well-known scenery.

His furniture was knocked over, if not even demolished, and the floor was scattered with books and papers.

Grunting and moaning in pain he slowly got up and went into the bathroom.

A cold shower would have to suffice.

He carefully cleaned his body from the sweat and blood of last night, minding not to open the wounds and scratches again.

He didn't have the time to treat them right now.

So he put on some clean clothes and went down into the kitchen.

No Sirius, no hastily scribbled note...but his coat was gone.

Remus would have preferred to leave right then but his week knees and his hungrily rumbling stomach made him stay and eat something first.

Half an hour later he entered St. Mungo's entrance hall.

His heart beat got faster and faster as he approached the critical care unit.

Why hadn't Sirius left him a note?

.

The waiting people in the hall, parents with their children and old witches, watched him partly curiously, partly suspiciously, as he passed them.

He knew that some of them suspected what was wrong with him...

Remus want through the corridor as quick as he could.

He could barely put weight on his right ankle, it was probably sprained.

Had he twisted it?

Did he bang it against something?

He would never know anyway.

"Excuse me Sir, the emergency room is this way," said a young nurse with a smile and pointed into the opposite direction.

Remus gave her a crooked smile.

"Thank you very much, but I'm here to visit someone," he said politely and kept walking, leaving behind a confused nurse.

Only a few more metres, than he'd be at her door.

He knocked and opened the door.

His heart skipped a beat and he felt like something choked him...this had to be a bad dream.

The room was empty, no one was lying in Tonks' bed.

It even looked at if she would have never been there.

He checked the number of the room again...it was the right one.

This couldn't be, this mustn't be!

His eyes started to burn.

Was that the reason Sirius had left the house so hurriedly?

_Please no...no...,_ thought Remus desperately when a young healer stepped up to him...


	13. relief

**Good evening everyone! 3**

**You've been waiting for it and I just couldn't let you suffer any longer ;) **

**So here it is, the next chapter! :) **

**Once again I wrote something non-canon about Remus' past and I hope you like it. You'll see what I mean when you read it.**

**And of course: Remus and Dora meet again! **

**Thank you all very much for your reviews! It always makes me smile when you liked the chapter and tell me that you're curious for the next one! *group hug and chocolate everywhere* **

**But for now: enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think about it :3**

**3 PablosGirl**

**PS: I just realised that the Alt+3 hearts I used to type from time to time disappear again, so I'll have to use these crappy 3 ones ^^ **

**PPS: "ruff ruff slobber slobber woof woof" Pablo **

Aereal: Thank you very much for your review :) I currently don't have a beta but I'll think about that, thanks for the tip :) I hope you like this chapter!

f3y-chan: Hehe, thank you :) I really enjoy writing cliffhangers. Poor Remus, doesn't know what we already know ;) Enjoy!

pleione-x: Thank you very much, I try my best to make you curious for the next chapter :) I hope you like it

Is A Bell X3: Yeah, I know, I'm a cruel author *muhahahaha* ;) Don't worry, I'll be nicer to Remus in the next chapters :) I'm afraid Pablo is not the best bad-author-guard-dog...he always falls asleep next to me when I'm writing and only acts as a living heater, which is quite convenient now that it's getting colder outside :D Enjoy the chap!

remusdora: Don't worry, I'll be nicer to Remus from now on ;) I mean, he'll soon get his kiss, remember? :) The only thing Pablo could possibly do, if he wasn't asleep all the time like I just told Is A Bell X3, would be to step onto the laptop with his 23 kg and threaten to crush the keyboard because he wants my attention...and the worst part about that: he really does that sometimes ;) I hope you enjoy the chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Yeah, poor little wolfie...but in exchange he'll get a kiss from little-pink-Auror-hood soon ;) Thanks to the Brothers Grimm for all these wonderful reference opportunitites :D I already thought about writing some fairy-tale related oneshots btw...Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

"Can I help you, Sir?" asked the healer and looked at Remus in confusion. "Are you looking for someone?"

He quickly took a look into the records he was carrying.

"Nymphadora Tonks was transferred, if that's who you were looking for. Maybe you should sit down for a while, Sir..."

"No, thank you. Could you tell me her room number?" asked Remus relieved.

The shock just slowly left his body.

"I'll show you."

.

Remus heard a low voice through the door when the young healer knocked on it.

Was it Kingsley?

He opened the door and let Remus in with a friendly nod before he left into the corridor again.

Relief flooded through him and all this fear and sorrow fell off of him and Remus suddenly felt tired and powerless.

"Dora," he mumbled smiling and stepped up to her.

The others, Sirius, Moody, Kingsley and Tonks, however just looked at him in shock.

"Sit down, boy! You look like a Flobberworm could knock you off your feet!" grunted Moody and offered him a chair Remus thankfully dropped into.

His ankle didn't carry him anymore.

"You look pale," said Remus worried and took Tonks' hand.

She was alright, she was awake...

His Dora was safe!

"And you look terrible, Remus! Maybe we should swap places? I mean, Sirius has dark circles around his eyes and Kingsley got some more wrinkles. But you look...awful," said Tonks with a worried smile.

"That's why everyone looked at me like that," grinned Remus weakly. "I haven't looked into a mirror yet."

He wetted his dry lips with his tongue and tasted something metallic...his lip were chapped.

"Don't look at me like that! I'll be fine. You've been in a coma for two days," joked Remus but at the thought of it, tears threatened to fill his eyes again and he fought them back.

"I was so afraid for you...and I still owe you something," he said so quietly only she could hear him.

.

"I told you he would be here as soon as he could stand up again," grinned Sirius but shot Remus a worried glance. "How about we find a nurse to treat your wounds, Remus?"

Tonks' cheeks reddened a bit and Remus looked at her quietly.

"It's okay, I'll see to that myself later," replied Remus.

"No, really, Remus. You should go see a healer. You're already here anyway..." added Tonks and sheepishly looked at her blanket.

"Hey, what's wrong? I'll be fine..." said Remus and wrinkled his forehead.

Tonks inhaled sniffing and looked at him with tear filled eyes.

"It's just...I caused so much trouble for you all. I'm so sorry. I'm a miserable Auror, I endangered all of you and ruined the mission. I'm sorry, Kingsley," said Tonks sadly and fiddled about with her fingers, trying to hold back her tears.

But it was Moody who answered first.

"That's rubbish, girl. You're a good Auror and you did the right thing. Who knows what would've happened with Christopher if you wouldn't have been there. By the way, he and his wife want to thank you as soon as you're back on your feet again. You've been attacked insidiously, this could've happened to anyone of us," grunted Moody and Kingsley nodded approvingly.

"But...anyway. Sirius, you look like you haven't slept in days. All because of me. I want to make up for it, " she said and turned towards Sirius while a single tear ran down her cheek.

"Tonks, listen. That you're here and doing well is definitely worth the little lack of sleep. No need to feel bad about it," he smiled at his little cousin.

Tonks sighed but also smiled back at him thankfully.

.

Eventually she looked at Remus who was sitting next to her, bruises on his face and hands, a cut over one eyebrow and chapped lips, and gently smiled at her.

"What's next, hm?" said Remus smirking and brushed the tear from her cheek with his thumb.

"Remus, you...you look terrible," she stammered.

"Oh, thank you, how nice of you," he grinned.

Even Moody couldn't hold back a small smile.

When did the two get so close with each other?

"You know what I mean! You're covered in bruises, you're limping. One could think you'll collapse any moment," she said caringly and tears filled her eyes again as she looked into his.

His grey eyes were beautiful as always but his face looked awful.

He was pale white and had dark circles around his eyes.

_I must've caused him so much sorrow and he couldn't do anything but wait_, she thought guiltily. _Just on full-moon. It must've been horrible._

"Tonks, it was full-moon, that didn't help much. And I'm sorry I couldn't be here this morning..." said Remus but Tonks shook her head and interrupted him.

"Remus, you don't look like this every month...you look like you got into a bar fight! It was worse this time, am I right?" asked Tonks quietly with a worried voice.

"Let's put it this way. The wolf obviously didn't appreciate that you were that ill and so far away...so he let off some steam," smirked Remus.

"Do me a favour and see a Healer, Remus. Get yourself fixed up, okay?" asked Tonks pleadingly.

Remus sighed.

"Okay, for your sake. I'll come back here afterwards," gave Remus in.

.

He wanted to stand up but as soon as he put weight on his hurt ankle a sharp pain went through the joint and he nearly fell.

He could grab the end of Tonks' bed with one hand while Sirius quickly grabbed him by his other arm and supported him.

"Have you eaten anything today, Moony?" asked Sirius worried.

"Yeah, that's not it. I think I wrenched my ankle or something like that, I can't put weight on it," answered Remus, sounding a bit annoyed because of the pain.

"I'll come with you," decided Sirius and the two friends left the room.

"What do you mean with "or something like that"? Don't you remember how it happened?" asked Sirius as they walked down the corridor.

"No...I can't remember anything, only that the wolf was pretty...furious. At least my furniture is broken again...I still have to care for that later," mumbled Remus and concentrated on keeping his leg bent so he wouldn't accidentally use the hurt foot.

"According to what I heard you launched yourself at the door again and again. Maybe that caused your cut..." replied Sirius thoughtfully as they entered the entrance hall.

He already wanted to steer Remus towards the emergency room but the Werewolf stopped and looked at him.

"What are you waiting for, Remus?" asked Sirius honestly confused. "Do you need a break?"

But Remus shook his head.

.

"I can't go to a healer here. I would have to fill in numerous forms and the Ministry would get suspicious. They assume you got into some kind of fight if you get yourself treated too often after full-moon," explained Remus patiently.

"Now what?" asked Sirius even more puzzled. "You have to be treated, Remus, it's more than just a few scratches this time."

"I know, come on," replied the Werewolf and the two limped to one of the public fireplaces at the other end of the hall.

"Ministry of magic," said Remus clearly and threw some floo-powder into the flames.

Now Sirius didn't understand anything anymore and just decided to trust Remus.

To their relief the entrance hall of the Ministry was pretty empty because most workers were sitting in their offices at the time.

And so they escaped many curious looks while even more magic paper planes were flying over their heads as they turned into a corridor.

_Beast Division, 4B_, read Sirius silently on a plate next to the door Remus was knocking on.

Hadn't he just talked about the Ministry's suspicion?"

.

"Come in!" said a muffled voice through the door.

Slowly the two men entered the sterile room and quietly closed the door behind them again.

"It's me Geoffrey! I brought someone with me. Sirius Black," said Remus naturally and Sirius was flabbergasted.

What the hell was going on here?

"Oh, it's you, Remus. But I didn't dress for such important guests. I'll be with you in a minute," joked the older man whose back Sirius could see in the next room.

He was standing in some kind of treatment room and wearing a white coat like the ones the healers wore at St. Mungo's.

"Well, to what do I owe the honour of-" said the medical officer conversationally but broke off as he looked up at Remus.

"Merlin! What happened, Remus?" asked Geoffrey and gestured Remus to follow him into the treatment room.

"My wolf didn't mean too well to me yesterday," said Remus with a crooked, painful smile and nodded thankfully at Sirius, indicating that he could sit down.

He supported himself on the treatment couch with one hand while he opened his shirt with the other one.

.

And once again, Sirius was alarmed.

Remus' chest was cluttered with bruises and abrasions of different depth and size.

He moaned a bit as he removed the cotton from his shoulders.

Sirius immediately recognized the silver-ish lines on his friend's shoulders.

It was the scar Greyback had brought on him over 20 years ago.

Step by step the healer closed the cuts and scratches on Remus' skin with his wand while he quietly mumbled magic words.

He then put a tincture onto the bruises which immediately lightened up, now being purple instead of dark blue.

And he also carefully treated the cut on his eyebrow.

Remus was clenching his teeth the whole time and inhaled hissing when Geoffrey examined one of his wounds.

"It's not broken but all I can do is to quicken the healing process. You'll need crutches, I'll give you some. Just return them when it has healed completely," explained the healer while examined Remus' ankle.

On the one hand, Sirius was glad that Remus got fixed up, but on the other hand he was still confused and wasn't quite sure what to make of this situation.

Why did this medical officer handle Remus, a Werewolf, so casually?

And why didn't Remus seem to mind either?

Usually he tried to hide his scars as good as he could and avoided any medical treatment.

And why were they so close with each other anyway?

.

"Thank you very much, Geoffrey!" said Remus while he carefully put his shoe back on and Sirius heard the gratitude in his voice.

"Come on, boy, what did I tell you a thousand times?" laughed the old man and put away his utensils and tinctures.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced you yet! I'm sorry, Sirius!" said Remus hastily as he saw Sirius' utterly confused look.

"Sirius, this is Geoffrey Buck, the medical officer responsible for the Werewolf examination and an old acquaintance. Geoffrey, this is Sirius Black, my best friend and I think you know the rest," said Remus smiling.

"Nice to meet you!" smiled the healer friendly. "You know, I've known Remus since his first day here. I was still a young man, only a few years out of my training as a healer and only recently recruited for this position. One day his parents came here with him, completely desperate and horrified. I couldn't understand my colleagues' behaviour. I mean, he was a child, a human being! Why should I treat him like a wild animal? From this day on I took him under my wing."

"That explains a lot, thank you!" said Sirius friendly.

"I'm afraid we have to go now, Geoffrey. A friend of ours is at St. Mungo's and we want to visit her," said Remus apologetically.

"Sure! No Problem! See you soon," said Geoffrey friendly and the two went back to the hospital.

.

"There you are!" beamed Tonks as they entered her room again.

"Oh my, Remus! What happened?!" sounded another, shocked voice.

Molly Weasley immediately jumped up and scurried through the room to get him a chair.

"Mom, yesterday was full-moon..." mumbled Bill quietly and shook his head, looking at his heavily pregnant wife.

Fleur looked great.

Of course, it was in her genes, but the pregnancy seemed to make her beam with happiness even if she was pressing her hands against the small of her back.

Arthur Weasley just waved to greet them.

On the little table next to Tonks' bed was now standing a vase with a huge bouquet which Remus' guessed to be from Molly's garden.

"You should've seen him before he had himself treated, Molly! This is nothing compared to what he looked an hour ago," said Tonks with a mixture of worry and humour in her voice. "Was the emergency room very crowded?"

Sirius already opened his mouth to answer but Remus was quicker.

"It was okay, we had to wait a while but now we're here again, so..." said Remus casually and sat down.

_Why does he conceal that he was at the Ministry?_, thought Sirius but he decided to put that thought aside for now.

"Well, it's about time, huh?" grinned Sirius instead and looked at Fleur.

"Oh yess! I'll be so happy when Madame or Monsieur finally decides to move out!" smiled the mother-to-be.

The rest of the afternoon went by far too quickly.

They all chatted a lot and Remus was happy to watch how Tonks got livelier from hour to hour and even more to hear her laugh again.


	14. Welcome home!

**Hey guys! :) *group hug***

**I'm so sorry I didn't upload yesterday and the day before! But I didn't have the time to translate properly and the chapters are also pretty long. And since I didn't want to give you a hastily translated chapter I decided to upload a little later. I hope you're not mad! :3**

**Thank you for your patience and as always: thank you for your feedback!**

**Here it goes, the pre-kiss-chapter ;) To make up for the long waiting you'll get both, Sirius/Remus fun and Remus/Dora romance.**

**Enjoy! *handing out cups of hot chocolate and cookies***

**3 PablosGirl**

remusdora: I'm glad you liked my idea of Geoffrey. I think it will still take a while until Remus and Tonks reveal their feelings/relationship to the rest of the Order but you'll enjoy the scene! ;)

the394thdauntlesscake: No problem, really! I'm always happy if you review my chaps, no matter when :) I didn't even know there is such an app, but on the other hand it wouldn't be useful for me because I don't have a smartphone...I still cherish my old Nokia flip phone ;) You were right, he didn't tell them he went to Geoffrey and there'll be something else about Geoffrey he won't tell them at first later on...Yay! Chocolate! If it wasn't virtual I would be rolling around the house instead of walking :D

Is A Bell X3: I'm glad you liked it! I'm sorry I didn't upload during the last two days but instead this chap will be a bit longer :)

* * *

Tonks had to stay in St. Mungo's for three more days which nettled her because she felt fit again.

But the healers insisted on watching her a few more days and she should even stay away from work for a few days after her discharge.

"What happened, Moony? You look like you slept with a coathanger in your mouth," grinned Sirius and commented on his friend's wide smile, as he entered the kitchen.

"Dora will come home today, you know that!" answered Remus, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I know, maybe we should cook for her when she comes home..." said Sirius casually.

"Yes, for Merlin's sake, I'll cook," replied Remus annoyed, getting his friend's hint, and bit into his toast. "Any idea what else we could make her happy with?"

"Well, I don't know but I know what _you_ could do to make her _veeeery_ happy, if you know what I mean, my dear Moony!" grinned Sirius mischievously.

"Oh shut up, you mutt! We could tidy her room for her, so she'll feel comfortable when she returns."

"Admit it, you just want to rummage in her stuff, you little perv!" laughed Sirius.

"What have I done to deserve this?" asked Remus himself loudly and drowned his frustration in tea.

.

One hour later the two men were standing in front of Tonks' room.

"Go in and win!" joked Sirius and opened the door.

"Merlin, where do we start?!" asked Remus desperately as he looked at the chaos in front of them.

The floor and all the furniture, too, was scattered with her clothes.

The reports and papers on her desk were neatly organized, so far, so good, but around them quills and other stuff were creating a micro cosmos of desk-chaos.

"You take that side, I'll take this one. Let's just wash all the clothes, that's the easiest way," decided Remus and hoped that Tonks didn't leave her underwear lying around, too...

"What are you doing?" asked Sirius when Remus started to strip the sheets from the bed.

"What does it look like?" asked Remus and sounded as if he was about to lose his temper.

"Well, do you think it's necessary to change the sheets if you two get dirty in there-"

WHOOOSH!

A big, fluffy, pink pillow hit Sirius' head before he could end his sentence.

"Just keep it to yourself, Padfoot, alright?" grinned Remus and kept working.

One hour later he stepped into the room again, loaded with a basket full of freshly washed clothes he put on the floor.

With arms crossed, the two men leant in the doorframe and proudly looked at their achievement.

The bed was covered in fresh sheets and made, the desk was organized again and the whole floor was visible.

The dust on the furniture and floor was gone, too.

"Neat work, Sirius," joked Remus.

"You made the bed wonderfully, too, grandma!" mocked Sirius with a mischievous grin.

"Just because you can't even iron a single t-shirt," countered Remus and nudged his shoulder.

"Oh no, grandma! You look so different! And why are your teeth so big? Oh no, the big, bad wolf!" laughed Sirius barking and got out of Remus' punching range.

"Shut up!" laughed Remus and the two men left to pick up Tonks.

.

"You cleaned my whole room? You're crazy! That's so sweet of you!" squeaked Tonks a little later as the two showed her the room.

She turned around and hugged both of them at the same time while a well-known warmth spread through Remus' body.

"I'll be with Buckbeak until dinner's ready. If you hear me scream, he probably mauled me because I didn't spend much time with him recently," joked Sirius and left the room.

Tonks looked up at Remus with a big smile on her lips.

"Welcome home!" he said smiling. "We missed you."

"I missed you, too," she said and looked as if tears were about to fill her eyes again.

"Come on, let's go downstairs, the food should be ready soon," said Remus and steered Tonks down the stairs before there would be any tears.

.

"It's great to be back home. I really missed my two mutts!" laughed Tonks after dinner.

"Mutts? That's what we get for risking our lives cleaning up your room? I'm scandalised!" joked Sirius while Remus looked into his glass of wine with a smirk.

"I think I'll go upstairs, got some sleepless nights to catch up on," said Sirius and left while Remus stood up to clear the table.

He put the plates and mumbled a spell so they would be washed up magically.

Tonks watched him with a gentle smile.

Her eyes wandered over his tall body, from the grey-ish brown hair, over his shoulders and down to his lower back...

_Just stay there like this, I don't mind_, thought Tonks smirking.

"Maybe you should go to bed, Dora. You're probably tired and want to enjoy your own bed again," snapped Remus' voice her out of her thoughts.

She stood up and walked up to the Werewolf.

He was still walking with one crutch and seemed to be quite exhausted himself.

Her hands slowly stroked over his shoulders, down his back and eventually around his stomach to embrace him and she gently snuggled up to his back.

Remus enjoyed her touch and a pleasant chill went down his spine.

"You know you're every woman's dream, don't you? You cook, clean up, do the laundry. What more could a woman want?" said Tonks cheerfully.

"Well..." he said, turned around to her in her arms and leant back against the counter so now her hands were resting on his chest. "Maybe a lack of deadly danger, ripping claws and teeth or the disdain by society?"

"Nah! Your handsome appearance makes up for that," she grinned and evened his shirt with her flat hand.

"Hey!" he said and lifted her chin. "You should really go to sleep, Dora. You seem to be a bit confused. And I'll only feel reassured when I know you're in your bed, all safe and sound."

"You could make sure of that all night long if you want. Unfortunately I can only offer you the spot next to me," said Tonks smirking and turned to leave.

"I guess I could cope with that," laughed Remus and followed her up the stairs.

.

When Remus entered her room after he had brushed his teeth, Tonks was already lying in her bed.

"There you are! I only just saw that you cleaned that Bolognese-stain on my blouse! My hero!" said Tonks and fluttered her eyelashes.

"Oh, that...I already did that when you...on the day of your mission. I wanted to cook something for you, you know. I just came home and Sirius was standing in the hallway, pale-white, and told me what had happened. We immediately left for St. Mungo's..." explained Remus quietly.

He was standing in the middle of the room and so Tonks got up again and stepped close to him.

She was wearing long, flannel, tartan Pyjama-pants and a tight, white t-shirt.

"How about you change your clothes and come to bed with me. I'm here, Remus, and I'm fine. I'll try to be even more careful in the future, okay?" said Tonks and gently stroked his stubbly cheek with the back of her hand.

He smiled with a sigh and unbuttoned his shirt, which Tonks then carefully draped over her chair.

When she turned around again he was standing still and seemed to think about something.

"Is everything alrigth?" asked Tonks and he blushed a little bit.

"Would you mind helping me out of this shirt? It's still pretty painful because of the bruises," said Remus sheepishly and looked at her apologetically.

"Sure!" she smiled, stepped up to him and pulled the t-shirt over his shoulders and head, revealing numerous bruises.

Most of them were red or blue, while the smallest ones were only visible as yellow-ish spots on his skin.

She looked up at him with a strained smile.

"This will never change, Dora, you'll just have to get used to the sight. It's still difficult for Sirius sometimes," he whispered and looked at her.

"I don't mind," she replied quietly, wrapped her arms around him and nestled her cheek against his chest.

Remus put his arms around her and placed his chin on her head.

.

A few minutes later the two were lying in her bed cuddling.

He had his arm around her while she snuggled up to his side.

The lights were turned off but the room was lightly illuminated by the decreasing moon shining through the window.

"Dora?" he whispered and turned his face towards her.

"Hmm?" she mumbled without opening her eyes.

"Your colleague, that Jim Palmer...is that the same one who wrote the Werewolf-report?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, why?" asked Tonks suspiciously, opened her eyes and sat up.

"Nothing...I just guessed," said Remus evasively but Tonks thought she knew what he meant.

"What did he do this time?" she asked, suddenly wide awake, and watched Remus carefully.

"He got a bit rude while we were waiting at the emergency room, that's all. He thought that a hospital was no appropriate place for a Werewolf just before full-moon," explained Remus.

"What?! That's just- oh Remus, I'm sorry! He's an idiot, a huge blockhead! He's been annoying me the whole time!" ranted Tonks and sat cross-legged next to Remus.

"What do you mean?" asked Remus puzzled.

"Oh, I don't know...he already talks to me whenever he needs something from my department. He acts as if he got sooo much experience and spares no opportunity to remind us of his father's authority at the Ministry. And he also..."

"He also?" asked Remus and sat up, too, now.

"He asked me if I had any plans after work a few times...I'm afraid he has a crush on me," explained Tonks annoyed.

"Should I be worried?" asked Remus suspiciously.

"Of course not, Remus! He's an idiot, but I know how to react against him and Mad-Eye's got his eye on him," said Tonks and sank back into the pillows.

But when Remus still hadn't lain down again after a few moments, Tonks nudged him. "Hey, Remus! Just forget him, alright? Come here..."

"Not tired anymore..." grunted Remus but Tonks knew he wasn't angry at her.

And she also knew how to make him lie down again...

.

She slowly inched closer to his naked back.

Her fingertip gently stroked over his skin before her lips approached his shoulders.

Her touch sent chills up and down his spine and he tensed as he felt her breath on his skin.

_What is she doing?,_ he thought nervously but he didn't want to give in yet.

Then she gently touched his warm skin with her lips and breathed a kiss onto his spine.

The wolf inside Remus grumbled with pleasure and wanted to turn around to her, kiss her, push her into the sheets and stroke over her curves...

_Stop!_, commanded Remus himself and turned his head away, his breath was trembling.

He looked at her and, due to his wolf-genes, even in this dim light he could see her very well.

She looked back at him with a mixture of playfulness and curiosity as she noticed his heavy breathing.

"You won, I'll lie down again!" uttered Remus.

"Was it that bad?" she asked quietly and seemed a bit disappointed.

"No, Dora, it really wasn't...on the contrary. I have to pull myself together, full-moon was only a few days ago..." he said and controlled his breath.

At first she had just wanted to mock him a bit but now she somehow started to take pleasure in it...

"Why?" asked Tonks and tilted her head.

"What? What do you mean, why?" said Remus confused.

"Why should you pull yourself together?" she asked quietly.

It took Remus a few seconds to realise that she really was talking about what he thought she was.

"Dora...I, because..."

His head started to shut off and was replaced with the wolf.

_Grab her! Kiss her! Take her clothes off! Push her onto the bed!_

Remus took a deep breath and tried to push those impulsive thoughts away.

He had closed his eyes and was concentrating as he noticed Tonks moving behind him.

"See, you don't know speaking against it either," she said temptingly and was kneeling right in front of him now.

His breath was trembling again as he opened his eyes.

_No! Why does she do that?!_, thought Remus and the wolf threatened to take total control of him now.

"Dora...why are you doing this to me?" he growled and now didn't sound reluctant at all...


	15. a kiss

**Hello everyone! :3 *group hug* **

**You've been waiting for it and now it's here: the kiss. **

**I really hope I don't disappoint you because you've been looking forward to it for so long now and I have to admit that, considering the style, not the content, I liked the last chap better. But just decide for yourself! :)**

**I know it's always possible to improve things, especially my style of writing. There are many short, simple sentences in this chapter, but I somehow thought that it would underline how Remus and Tonks enjoyed the moment and were living this moment in the here and now.**

**There's a little bit of everything in it: an awkward Remus, a mocking Sirius and of course a lot of Remus/Dora schmaltz and fluff. **

**Well, there's not much to say anymore but: enjoy and have fun reading! I'd love to know what you think about it :)**

***handing out chocolate and hot tea* **

**3 PablosGirl**

Is A Bell X3: Jej! I'm glad you liked it! *hug from me and slobbery dog kiss from Pablo* :3 I hope you like the kiss-chap, too!

f3y-chan: Woohooo! I hope you make this noise more often after my chapters...at least I guess that it was something positive ;) Enjoy the kiss-chap!

remusdora: You're welcome! That's the least I can give you for all the chocolate you gave me already :D Yes, she's back home and there's a lot of christmas-fluff waiting for you in the near future! :) I hope you enjoy the kiss-chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Yay, I'm getting applause :) Don't worry about that, but painting sounds interesting! Is painting just a hobby of yours or are you doing it professionally? Yes, I've had the idea of some fairytale-related oneshots for quite a long time now, but I didn't get to write it down yet. It will either be funny or serious/romantic like "fir needles". What would you rather like to read? :) Enjoy!

the394thdauntlesscake: Yeah, I know...but due to St. Martin's day I have a huge pile of sweets and chocolate at home, so in case of a chocolate-emergency I'm prepared :D Yes, Remus thinks so, too, but Tonks is not easily scared, at least in this chapter ;) I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Remus quickly pushed her onto the mattress, sitting over her and supporting himself on his arms left and right to her shoulders.

"I don't know...just to see how you react," said Tonks surprised but not afraid. "I just want to be closer to you. And, well, I'm a young woman and you're an attractive man who's got me on the hook."

"What?" asked Remus and seemed to wake up from trance.

He didn't know what she was talking about...had he asked her something?

The wolf disappeared sullenly.

Remus looked down on his arms, which were constricting her movements, and his lower body, only centimetres away from her hips.

.

He suddenly jumped up and stumbled backwards into the middle of the room as if something had frightened him to death.

The look in his eyes was almost panic.

How could he lose control?

"I'm sorry, Dora...I mustn't lose control like that," said Remus quietly and kneeled in front of the bed.

"I provoked you, don't worry," replied Tonks and looked at the Werewolf who looked more like a guilty puppy at the moment. "Sometimes I just don't understand why you keep your distance like that. Is there anything you dislike about me? You know I could change that within seconds..."

But Remus quickly took her hands in his and started to talk.

"You know...I-"

"Wait!" interrupted Tonks. "I don't want you to cower on the floor, come here to me."

And so Remus sat next to her on the bed and leant his back against the wall.

Tonks carefully leant against his shoulder and looked up at him questioningly.

"It's okay, I'm completely myself again," said Remus smirking. "I'm not mad at you, you're right. I'm really lingering over it, hm?"

Tonks just smiled at him.

"I get it," he said. "But I'm just doing that because you're so important to me. I don't want to make any mistakes...and there's a lot I could do wrong."

"You'll have to explain that," said Tonks curiously.

"Really?" he said with a wry smile. "All right..."

Even in this dim light Tonks could see him blush.

"You know...I'm not that experienced. So if we, well...I didn't have many relationships in my life...that's why I feel so insecure about all those things. Sometimes I think I should avoid you around full-moon because, well, you saw what can happen. But I'm also less reserved and tensed up then...I..."

"You just do what you secretly want to do...and in this case that's me," [in the German version it didn't sound that suggestive, I swear ^^] replied Tonks grinning and took his hand. "I wasn't afraid of you. I like it when you act naturally, let yourself go and don't think about every single move three times. Which doesn't mean that I don't like your gentle side...I think this would be pretty nice, too."

Remus was speechless and sheepishly looked down at the blanket.

_She thinks about sleeping with me?,_ he thought. _Of course, you idiot! She's in love with you, what do you expect?_

The last minutes had been way too confusing and even now that the wolf was gone, Remus regretted that it had ended so suddenly...

"Dora, I want to be near you. I don't want to keep you waiting, believe me...I really find you incredibly attractive. You're beautiful! Your body is beautiful! I want it, too. I'm really looking forward to, well, our first night together. But at the same time I'm afraid to make a mistake," explained Remus and Tonks heard in his voice how hard it was for him to talk about it.

.

"You said you didn't have that many girlfriends yet...what did you mean by that? I mean, are you still, well, a virgin?" she asked carefully and blushed.

Even if, she didn't care...

"No...and that's not what I meant. But...I just didn't have that much sex in my life so far. And I wasn't even sober most of the times...I had my first time with some random girl...I don't even know her name. It was my 17th birthday...Sirius got me drunk and somehow arranged it...he did that several times when we were young. And, well, after that it had just been..."he explained and eventually hesitated.

"Prostitutes?" she asked and looked at him.

He sniffed amused but shook his head.

"No, I just had several one-night-stands...women I didn't feel for and I also didn't care for...I'm not very proud of it..." he said and bit his lower lip.

"Well, that's just human...in the end, under all this politeness, you're just a man, Remus. I don't mind," said Tonks honestly.

"To be honest...the last time was more than a year ago..." he added sheepishly.

"Don't worry, okay? Just don't keep me waiting much longer, alright? Unless I can't guarantee to control my hormones any longer," she said winking and nestled up to his side.

"I won't!" he replied smiling.

"Just try to shut your head off, everyone's nervous in that situation and we'll have to get to know each other...but practice is fun, right?"

Her frankness made him blush again but then he lay down and covered them with the blanket.

"You're the most wonderful woman on this planet, Dora!" he whispered and wrapped his arms around her.

"Good night, Remus!" she giggled and snuggled closer to him.

"Night, Dora."

.

The next morning Tonks was the first one to wake up.

Remus was still nestled up to her back and was breathing steadily.

_Is that what I think it is?_, thought Tonks smirking. _Well, in the morning he's just like any other man..._

She carefully turned around in his arms and breathed a kiss on his nose.

"Hey, sleepyhead, time to wake up!" she laughed quietly and caressed his collarbone with her fingertips.

Remus uttered a pleasant growl and opened his eyes.

"Hey there, beauty," he whispered with a crooked smile.

Tonks could have melted away at his sight.

"What do you want to do today? The weather looks great," he said and dozily looked out of the window.

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"We could take a walk...to my favourite place?" he suggested.

"Sure, but only after breakfast. I'm starving!" said Tonks and got up.

"Okay...just give me five ore minutes," he said and rolled onto his back.

"I don't want to be rude, but someone else already seemed to be awake," she grinned and nodded towards his hips. "I'll be in the bathroom, so you can get up now."

With these words she left the room and left a puzzled Remus behind.

"Hey there, lovebirds..." greeted Sirius them a little later as they entered the kitchen.

"You can't stop it, can you?" asked Tonks cheerfully.

"Nope," mumbled Sirius and kept reading the Daily Prophet.

"Tell me, guys...it won't be long before Christmas. So what do you wish for? I Made good money this year and I'd really like to give you a treat!" said Tonks while she poured herself a cup of tea.

"I don't know..."

"Nothing..."

"Great, very helpful. Thank you!" joked Tonks and sat down.

"How about _you_ tell _us_ what we can get you," said Remus and was already worrying about his pathetic finances.

"I don't need anything, I'm rolling in money!" she said deadly serious and fanned herself with invisible bank notes.

The two men couldn't bite back a wide grin.

"Something else...what do you give to fresh parents, Dora? Bill and Fleur's baby will be here soon," asked Remus and took a sip of his tea.

"Good question...rompers, stuffed animals, maybe a music box...and earplugs and headache pills for the parents," joked Tonks.

"That's not a bad idea," said Sirius. "Let's just make them a gift basket together."

"Oho, Mr. Black is getting creative, but I'm okay with that," said Tonks and bit into her toast.

.

"Are you ready, Dora?" asked Remus a little later through the door.

"No...I don't know what to wear," whined Tonks.

"We're just going for a walk," he laughed. "Just put on something comfortable and warm."

"Yeah, but which shoes should I wear?"

Partly annoyed, partly amused Remus rolled his eyes.

"Err, shoes you can walk in? Keep the high-heels in the closet."

"Too bad, I just wanted to put on my peep-toes." Joked Tonks.

Five minutes later she stepped out of the door.

Remus, who had sat down on the steps in the meantime, stood up.

"Wow...all the waiting was worth it," he said Remus with a beaming smile.

By her standards she was dressed plainly.

She was wearing a black wrap dress with black cable-stitch tights.

Her pink hair was tied together in a ponytail and her fringe was braided back.

On her feet however she was wearing bright pink wellies with big white polka-dots.

"Thank you! I'll just grab my purple coat and we're ready to go!" she smiled. "You look good, too!"

Remus looked down himself in disbelief.

He was wearing his old, brown winter boots and his old, fawn jeans.

On top of that he wore a white shirt, brown waistcoat and his old, patched coat.

"Good one," he said smirking and turned around.

"I'm serious! That's not fair!" laughed Tonks and followed him downstairs.

Outside he turned around to her again.

"So, where are we going?" asked Tonks curiously.

"Give me your hand!"

"Ooooh, a surprise," she said grinning and gave him her hand to disapparate.

.

When Tonks' feet hit solid ground again she opened her eyes and looked around.

Could it be?

Yes, this ruin in front of them was definitely the Shrieking Shack.

And for the first time Tonks realized that it only got its name because of Remus...

The latter looked up at the building, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, I thought we were going to your favourite place?" asked Tonks carefully.

"Yeah," he just said and offered her his hand. "Come on."

She took his hand in hers and followed him to the shack.

When Remus was sure that no one was watching them they entered the shack through a back-door.

Inside it was just as cold as outside and everything was coated in a thick layer of dust.

In one corner of the room a thin layer of soil covered the floor, overgrown with moss and small, white-blossomed flowers.

"Like in a fairy-tale..." she mumbled unwittingly.

"And I'm the bad wolf," said Remus winking and pointed at the stairs.

"I'm sorry Remus, but you're way too friendly for this role," said Tonks and followed him upstairs.

He led her into a room with a big canopy bed which nearly took up the whole space.

It reminded Tonks of the ones in Hogwarts' dorm rooms.

"You probably already know about it, but I like to come here whenever I want to be alone," he explained and his calm, deep voice snapped her out of her musing.

"The longer I'm here, the more I understand it," she smiled.

"I don't want to stay in this shack with you all day," he said and went towards the stairs. "We wanted to go for a walk if I'm not mistaken."

.

Ten minutes later they walked through the gate to Hogwarts' grounds.

They strolled along the edge of the forest and Remus' gazed into its darkness from time to time.

"Do you know it very well?" she asked.

"Not as good as Hagrid when I'm a human. As a wolf that kind of orientation doesn't matter. But I've been inside there very often with Sirius, James and Peter," he mumbled.

"Is it really that dangerous?" she asked curiously while they walked towards the lake.

"Yes, it is. There are giant spiders, unicorns, centaurs and who knows what else. Some think that there might be Werewolves, too," he said with a wink. "You should keep away from anything living in this forest...better not go in there at all if you don't have to. The centaurs protect their territory and don't trust wizards. Dumbledore and Hagrid talk to them from time to time, but that's it. Only Firenze is a bit different."

They kept walking in silence until they reached an old oak tree by the lake and Tonks sat down in the grass under it.

The sun was shining, warming her face and so she closed her eyes.

She heard Remus walking a few steps away from her and then return.

When he stopped in front of her he got suspiciously quiet.

Tonks opened her eyes again and followed his somewhat melancholic gaze to the tree's trunk above her head.

One could easily miss it but a long time ago someone had engraved a heart into the tree's bark.

"J + L..." mumbled Tonks and then it suddenly dawned to her.

"James and Lily! This belongs to Harry's parents, right?" she smiled and to her surprise he returned the smile.

He nodded and helped her to her feet.

.

"We used to sit here very often during the summer. That's why it's my favourite place," he explained to her.

Tonks gazed over the dark surface of the lake which was lightly rippled by the wind.

Along the shore the colourful autumn leaves reflected on the water while the sun made the small waves glisten.

And now Tonks understood what this place meant to him.

It was his save haven, his little piece of past, in which everything was still alright and where he could be far away from anything.

"Do you like it?" asked Remus quietly, waking her from her musing.

"It's strange to be here again...feels like I left school just yesterday. But you're right, it's absolutely gorgeous. The fresh air, the silence...it's beautiful. Especially because I'm here with you. Isn't it strange how close we've gotten in this short time?" she said smiling and leant back against the tree.

"Yeah, it's actually just been a few months..." he said, smiling too, and stepped closer to her. "But it was enough to fall in love with you."

He carefully watched her reaction but she just nodded slowly with a beaming smile on her lips.

"Dora, I messed up all my resolutions for you, all those rules I set up for myself over all those years. Because you, for the first time, showed me that it's worth it...that I'm worth it," he explained smiling gently and stepped in front of her.

"It took you some time to see that, but I'm happy you eventually did. You make me happy, Remus," she said and looked lovingly into his grey eyes.

"I promise you I won't be that reserved in the future anymore," he said grinning and placed his hands on her sides.

He was excited, but it was a pleasant nervousness.

Remus enjoyed the feeling of her body under his hands, even through the thick coat.

And Tonks enjoyed the way he held her, too.

She looked up at him.

His grey eyes met her brown ones and Remus inched closer.

"I hope so," whispered Tonks smiling and bent her head towards his.

Remus breath was slightly trembling as Tonks placed her hands on his neck, which was warm from the sun, and pulled him even closer.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, at least Remus felt like that when his lips gently brushed against hers.

.

His heart was beating heavily but at the same time he got a bit braver.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him so that she was leaning in between him and the tree.

She gently rubbed her nose against his and caressed his neck with her fingertips.

Remus' smile got even wider.

Tonks didn't think about anything, instead she just enjoyed her first real kiss with Remus.

Of course she noticed that he was a bit out of practice and therefore intensified the kiss only slowly...but obviously Werewolves were naturally good kissers...

They were standing entangled under the tree and kept kissing for a few moments when Remus moved his lips away from hers and onto her neck.

He didn't think about it and just went with his guts.

Tonks was a bit surprised but lifted her chin invitingly to give him more space and sighed pleasantly.

Remus inhaled the smell of her perfume but eventually made himself stop.

He started to whisper, gently stroking her ear with his nose.

"I think we should better continue this somewhere and sometime else," he whispered and drew back a little to look at her with a smirk on his lips.

A slightly disappointed sigh left her lunges.

"You're right...but I insist on a follow-up! This was just wonderful, Remus! I couldn't imagine a better first kiss," she beamed at him.

Even if she had wanted to, she wouldn't have been able to get rid of the wide grin on her face.

And Remus was smiling from ear to ear, too.

"Should we walk a bit?" he asked and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I'd love to!" she said and the two started to walk again.

From time to time Tonks stopped, got on her tiptoes and kissed him fondly.

And from kiss to kiss he realized a bit more that he really wasn't dreaming...


	16. visit

**Hello everyone! :3 *group hug* **

**I know, I made you wait a whole day again and so I just made myself translate and upload this chapter today, even though I'm having a rather shitty day today ;) **

**I used to have a few translated chaps up my sleeve but at the moment I don't, mostly because the current chapters are pretty long and I don't have that much time at the moment. So I hope this chapter isn't translated too poorly and you can enjoy it anyway! :) **

**Thank you all for your reviews, they always keep me going and brighten up my days! :3 *throwing chocolate and sweets everywhere like it's carnival* **

**Oh, yes...there's a lot of drama ahead of us again ;) some of it is already implied in this chapter, so stay curious and stay tuned!**

**Once again there are a few scenes in this chapter that some of you might have written differently, so to make it short:**

**- I know the reunion of Andromeda and Sirius is not that dramatic because I always thought that Andromeda secretely believed he was innocent all these years**

**- I thought that it would be okay if Andromeda knew about the Order and that it would be no problem to tell her that number 12 is the headquarter. I know I didn't describe WHY it would be okay for her to know about it but I somehow thought it was logical and I already read it like this in other stories...yet I would probably write it differently if I had to rewrite the whole story again ;) **

**To cut a long story short: I hope you enjoy this chapter, feel free to tell me if you liked it or if you disagree with anything :)**

**3 PablosGirl**

Is A Bell X3: Yes, I know! :D It's not an English word originally, we have this word in German, too (just spelled a bit differently). It's used to describe something cheesy or tacky in English, which does make sense somehow because Schmalz is a kind of animal fat (lard in English). *end of PablosGirl's happy language lesson* ;) Anyway, I'm glad you liked the kiss-chapter! *hugs back* *woof woof*

f3y-chan: I'm glad you liked it! :) Unfortunately there's no direct reaction from Sirius but don't worry, there'll be a lot of mocking and interventing from Sirius in the future! :) Enjoy!

danadanaBATMAN: Yey, I'm glad you liked it! :D I already thought about writing both versions, too :) Maybe I'll have the right ideas and time around Christmas, snow would be great to be inspired for a fairytale-story :) Well, if someone would pay for it you're probably quite good at it, good for you! I'm not really good but I prefer drawing, too. Enjoy :)

remusdora: Yay! You liked it! :) I'm happy with my chocolate and Pablo's really not picky but he LOVES cheese! :D There will be a bit of Sirius teasing, but only a little bit. Instead there'll be more drama coming soon ;) Enjoy!

the394thdauntlesscake: Yes, I heard of this tree song! :D I never thought of that when I wrote it, damnit! This would've been a great idea for Sirius to annoy them! Anyway, I'm glad you liked it! Enjoy the next chap! :)

LunaticaBlack: Bienvenido a mi fanfiction! :) Mi Espanol es horrible pero intenta a responder a tu comentario! Muchas gracias por leer mi historia. Me alegra que la te gusta! :) Tengo que mejorar mi Espanol de nuevo... ;)

* * *

The next morning Tonks awoke with blinking eyes.

She had slept soundly the whole night and now stretched her limbs, as she noticed something moving next to her.

A grin spread on her lips-

Remus had spent the night with her again and was now lying next to her, snuggling up into his blanket.

They had spent all evening in bed cuddling until Tonks had slowly dozed off.

One look at her clock ant Tonks knew why he didn't make no move to get up.

It was only half past five in the morning and it was still quite dark outside.

Raindrops were drumming on her window.

But why did she wake up then?

She just wanted to nestle up to Remus again, as her lower belly reminded her that the most annoying time of the month was just around the corner...

_Great, now that Remus wants to get closer to I have to get my period, awesome_, she thought annoyed and carefully climbed out of bed.

When she returned five minutes later Remus wrapped his arms around her waist and mumbled something into her ear.

"Where have you been?" he asked tiredly and kissed her neck.

"Bathroom..." she mumbled and massaged her belly, which Remus noticed immediately.

.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked a little bit more awake and placed his hand on hers.

She sighed.

"Yeah...I'm fine, just some belly aches...stupid women's problems..." she said. "Now, that you dare to get closer, of all times!"

"Hey, we have all the time in the world...no need to rush, I won't change my mind again," he said amused and nudged her with his nose. "Should I massage your belly?"

"Sure," she smiled and he hesitantly placed his hand on her skin.

But Tonks pushed it deeper.

"Err?" he uttered and stopped.

"I'm sorry, the female anatomy wasn't my idea...but up there this won't help me at all," she said, sounding annoyed because of the pain.

"It's okay, I didn't mean it," defended Remus himself.

Even more annoyed by herself now Tonks huffed.

"I'm sorry, Remus...I'm a little bit short-tempered at this time...this bloody pain just annoys me...starting early with the nagging, huh?" she mumbled sheepishly.

"Don't worry! I've spent seven years with Sirius in one dorm room, he can be quite the diva...and I'll just have to cope with your hormones in the future, that's it," he reassured her.

.

And so they stayed in bed and dozed off again when Tonks suddenly awoke with a start.

"What happened?" asked Remus startled.

"I just remembered something! My parents return from their holiday today...they've been overseas and probably didn't hear or read anything about what happened here!" said Tonks hastily and turned around to Remus who just looked at her in sleepy confusion.

"Well, they effectively went on Muggle-holidays! They neither know about Sirius rehabilitation, nor about me nearly being killed! That's going to be a great reunion. _Hello Mum, hello Dad, nice to have you back. Oh yeah, Mum, your cousin's not a mass-murderer anymore and I nearly died a few days ago. Was the weather nice?"_

"You've got problems..." laughed Remus quietly and brushed a pink strand of hair from her face.

Tonks snuggled up to his chest again and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I'll go shopping with my Mum sometime this week...I still need a dress for the Christmas party at work," she mumbled and painted invisible lines on his chest with her fingertip.

"Hmmm..." he grumbled and stared at the ceiling.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked and nudged him gently.

"Palmer will be there, too, right? I don't trust him..." he grunted and it almost sounded like a wolfish growl.

"I'll avoid him, just like I've been doing in the past, alright?" she smiled and looked out of the window where the rain got even heavier and the sky darker instead of lighter. "Shitty weather..."

"We could spend the day in bed," suggested Remus smiling.

"I'd love to, but I should really get in contact with my parents. I haven't seen them in weeks and there's a lot to tell them," smiled Tonks apologetically.

"Alrigth, that's more important..." replied Remus.

.

In the afternoon of the same day Tonks was sitting at her desk with parchment and quill.

Outside her window the rain was still pouring down.

_"Hello Mum and Dad!"_ she wrote her letter. _"I hope you had nice holidays! And I hope Mum didn't destroy Australia. While you were away quite a lot has happened here and I have to tell you a lot. How about a glass of wine at my new place tonight? The address is 12 Grimmauldplace. Yes, Mum. I'll explain everything to you then...and that's quite a lot. Looking forward to seeing you again, Dora!"_

She hexed the parchment with an anti-spy-spell and carefully put it into an envelope, when she heard the front door close downstairs.

_Who leaves the house in this weather? Maybe Sirius had to go to the Ministry again because of some forms or something...,_ thought Tonks and stood up.

She slowly walked down the steps and entered the kitchen.

"Sirius? What are you doing here?" she asked surprised.

"Err, I live here and right now I'm drinking a cup of tea," he said amused.

"Oh, yes. It's just, I heard the front door," she mumbled and went to the old house owl's perch.

The owl opened her eyes sleepily and looked at her with an annoyed expression.

"Remus just left. He said he had still to do something. Didn't tell me what though," said Sirius and browsed the Daily Prophet boredly.

"Sirius, is it okay if I invite my parents over? I think I have to tell them a few things," grinned Tonks.

"Andromeda and Ted? Sure! I haven't seen your mother in years!" replied Sirius happily.

"Well then!" smiled Tonks and covered the pitiful owl in a anti-rain-shield.

.

At around five o clock Tonks' parents arrived at number 12.

Remus was still gone while Sirius was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for the guests impatiently.

Andromeda was about ten years older than Sirius but she had always been his favourite cousin.

"Dora!" greeted Ted his daughter happily and embraced her.

"Hey Dad!" laughed Tonks and turned to her mother.

"Wow, Mum! You got a nice tan!" she smiled as she embraced the tanned Andromeda.

"You know I can stand the sun but I had to cover your father in a thick layer of sun screen so he wouldn't turn lobster-pink," grinned Andromeda.

"Com into the kitchen, there's someone waiting for you!" said Tonks grinning.

"Sirius!" yelled Andromeda and pulled her cousin into her arms. "You're really free! I can't believe it! Finally!"

"Great to see you! It's been years!" laughed Sirius and shook Ted's hand.

"Hello Sirius! Congratulations! And now you keep an eye on our Dora?" asked Ted friendly.

"Yea, and not only one," grinned Sirius and winked Tonks, who shot him a warning glance.

"Sit down! Do you want to drink something? Tea, coffee, wine?" asked Tonks quickly and offered her parents a seat.

"I think we'll take a cup of tea. The weather is awful today," smiled Andromeda and sat down.

Her clothes were colourful, too, but less bright than her daughter's and her hair was of a dark Bordeaux-red.

Ted, with his plain colours, looked nearly pale next to her.

"Well, dear, we know now that Sirius is free, what else did you want to tell us?" asked Andromeda as Tonks served the tea.

.

"Well, while you've been away, it was about a week ago, we had a field mission. I was hurt...pretty badly, to be honest. And it was pretty critical at first. I still got a sick note for a few days," explained Tonks casually as if it was no big deal-

"What?" asked Ted slightly shocked.

"She's been in a coma for about two days...we were so afraid for her. But she recovered quickly," explained Sirius.

"Oh Dora, I've always been worrying about your work..." said Andromeda worriedly.

"It could've happened to anyone, Mum! It is a dangerous job, yes, but I love it and I'm good at it!" defended Tonks herself.

"She's right, she's old enough, Andromeda. We're all in danger these days, no matter if Auror or not," said Ted thoughtfully.

For a few moments they didn't say anything and just sipped on their teas.

"Well then, tell us, how long have you been living together now?" asked Andromeda eventually.

"Since I became a member of the Order..." explained Tonks.

"We hold our meetings here, it was the only thing I could contribute while I they were still hunting me," huffed Sirius.

"I always thought you'd join it one day...even though I hoped it would never have to form again...but it makes sense, this house is way too big for two people," said Andromeda, not knowing she had hit the bull's eye.

"Well, there is in fact someone else living here with us..." began Sirius but then he heard the front door open.

"You'll see," added Sirius grinning, say Tonks' nervous look in the corner of his eye and nodded towards the kitchen door.

And less than ten seconds later Remus appeared in the door fram, his hair slightly wet from the rain.

.

He awkwardly looked around the room.

He had noticed someone else being here once he had entered the house but he had forgotten about Tonks' idea of inviting her parents over.

"Err...hello," he said sheepishly and lifted his hand to greet them.

He had only seen Andromeda and Tonks one or two times before and always just briefly, but he recognized them immediately.

"Hello, Remus! How are you?" asked Andromeda cheerfully and waved at him from her seat while Ted just smiled friendly at him.

Remus forced a friendly smile on his lips.

.

He was overwhelmed with all the mixed feelings.

He had been looking forward to see Tonks again but then he had noticed the presence of strangers in the house.

Of course he was glad to meet Andromeda and Ted again, two people who didn't have any prejudice against him.

But he also saw how nervous Tonks was as he had entered the room.

Would they still handle him so friendly once they knew he was their daughter's boyfriend?

Or would their friendliness convert into reservations, mistrust and worries?

Apart from all that he had still been somewhere completely else only minutes ago...Tonks didn't know about this...and it stressed him additionally.

He hadn't even told Sirius about it...he was afraid he might find it reckless.

And how would Tonks think about it then?

He unwittingly rubbed the crook of his right arm.

.

"Why are you looking at us like a deer caught in the headlights? Just sit down, Remus," grinned Sirius and offered him a chair.

"Yes...thank you, I'm sorry," he mumbled and sat next to Sirius.

"We're sorry if we came at an inconvenient time, Remus," said Ted honestly.

"What? No, really...and yes, thank you, I'm fine," he lied.

In fact he felt tired and exhausted.

"Tonks told us you've been on holiday?" forced Remus himself to make small talk.

From this moment on the conversation flowed on its own between Tonks, her parents and Sirius.

Only when Sirius praised his leading role in Pettigrew's detention he smiled shyly and lifted his eyes.

_Why does this make me feel uncomfortable at all? My head is killing me...,_ thought Remus and rubbed his temples.

"Are you alright?" asked Tonks suddenly and Remus saw more than just platonic worry in her eyes.

_He looks ill_, thought Tonks.

Remus was thankful she had asked him and seized his chance to fly from the situation.

"Yeah...I just got a head ache, maybe a cold, I don't know. I guess I should better get some rest," he said apologetically.

"Please don't trouble yourself because of us, Remus! It was nice to meet you again, though," smiled Andromeda friendly.

_Oh Merlin, I don't even deserve that, if she knew what I'm fantasizing about her daughter...,_ thought Remus but instead he just smiled politely and left the room.

.

Upstairs in his room he dropped onto his bed and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Damnit!" he said to himself.

He felt awful hiding his secret from Tonks.

"At least I have my peace for one month again now," he said quietly and rolled on his side.

Completely dressed he lay on his bed and quickly dozed off.

Two hours later Tonks peeped into his room.

She was wearing her pyjama and searched the room for Remus.

Eventually she found him rolled- up on his bed, still in all his clothes and apparently freezing.

She carefully stepped into his room to get a closer look.

He was fast asleep.

And so she carefully covered him with his blanket, took another one for herself and lay down next to him.

.

"Good morning wolfie!" said Tonks smiling and was the first thing Remus saw as he woke up the next morning.

Tonks must have covered him last night.

Except for a little chill he was feeling much better than yesterday.

"Morning," he mumbled and closed his eyes again. "Thanks for tucking me in."

"You're welcome," he heard Tonks' whispering noise and felt her hand caressing his cheek.

"You looked quite sick last night, Remus," she added.

"I just had a head ache, full-moon, the weather, the usual," he mumbled sleepily.

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you about my parents, but you weren't here," she said apologetically.

"Yeah...don't worry, it didn't bother me, I just didn't know how to behave in that situation," said Remus, trying to lead the conversation away from his absence. "They don't know about us, right? I mean, that I..."

"I know what you mean. What are we actually?" laughed Tonks.

"Well, I guess we're heading for a relationship, right?" asked Remus and looked at her insecurely.

He as Tonks' boyfriend...his Dora really _his_ Dora...

A smile spread across his lips unwittingly.

"I guess so and I like it," she smiled and nestled up to him.

Her smell calmed him down and he forgot about his remorse for a while.

.

And so the last two weeks of November flew by.

Remus and Tonks kept the habit of sleeping in the same bed every night and kissed each other more often.

Tonks started to call him "wolfie" whenever she felt like it, which was just what Sirius was waiting for and made him grin stupidly every single time.


	17. Christmas party

**Hey guys! :) *group hug***

**I hope you all had a great week and enjoy your friday evening! **

**Remember when I told you there would be more drama? Whoops, here it is already!**

**I know I let you wait again for this chapter but it was again rather long and so it took me longer to translate and upload it, I'm sorry!**

**As a reward for all this patient waiting (of one day, I really spoilt you ^^) I give you a chapter with both, a bit of Remus/Dora fluff and some serious stuff...serious Sirius stuff ;) **

**Enough bad puns: I have to tell you something important about this chapter before you can read it. I'll try not to spoil too much but I have to warn you of some ****serious content**** this time. Don't worry, it's not too graphic or brutal, but there'll be ****some kind of sexual harassment in this chapter****. I'm bad at rating such things but it ****should be fine for you if you're older than 16 (just to be on the safe side)****.**

**~Don't worry, everything will be fine! In Werewolf we trust ;) **

**So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and that you won't tear me to pieces in the comments :D *throwing tranquilizer-filled chocolate around***

**3 PablosGirl**

danadanaBATMAN: I'm glad you liked it! His secret will be revealed eventually, you'll see :) Enjoy the chapter!

f3y-chan: Yay, you're curious ^^ you'll have to wait a while until his secret will be revealed ;) Enjoy!

remusdora: I'm glad you liked the reunion :) but you'll have to wait a bit longer for Remus' secret to be revealed. Um, I just quickly checked and if I'm not mistaken there should be around 16 chapters after this one in this part of my story, I know, that's a lot. And I hope you'll like them all, I'll try my best :) Pablo: *woof woof ruff!* translation: I'm fine! Thank you very much! ;) I'm fine, too. I hope you have a great day/evening! Enjoy the chapter!

the394thdauntlesscake: Yeah, me too! Who doesn't like sarcasm? :) I'm glad you liked it and I guess there should be some more sarcastic Tonks moments in my story. Enjoy!

* * *

It was a cold December morning.

With one last loving look on his sleeping Dora Remus got out of bed.

Sirius could mock him all he wanted, it wouldn't spoil his happiness.

And Remus knew that Sirius was actually more than happy for him.

A small grin spread on his lips as he looked at Tonks, who looked a bit ridiculous at the moment.

Her hair was hanging shaggily all over her face and she was lying in bed the wrong way around.

He really had had some problems this night because she nearly kicked him from the mattress several times.

But all he saw right now was the most beautiful woman in the world.

He slowly stepped in front of the window and opened it a little bit so it wouldn't get too cold.

It would start to snow soon, he could smell it in the winter air.

.

"What are you doing?" said Tonks right behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"When did you get up?" he asked surprised and turned around to her.

"Well, just a few seconds ago," she grinned innocently and snuggled up to his chest while he wrapped his arms around her.

With her flat hands on his chest she looked up at him.

"Did you want me to freeze to death?" she giggled.

"No way!" he laughed and started to kiss her.

The kiss got deeper and deeper while he stroked over her back with his hands.

Her hands wandered from his chest to his stomach and then onto his back which she started to tickle slowly.

She knew that Remus loved it and so it only took him a few seconds to utter a pleasant, enjoying growl.

Tonks however loved this growl and pressed her body even closer to his.

The kiss got even deeper and Remus hands started to move, too.

He carefully lowered them onto her bum and hesitantly watched her reaction.

But Tonks just grinned seductively.

_Merlin!,_ thought Remus. _What did I do to deserve this woman? And what am I still waiting for?!_

Very shyly at first but then more confidently he started to stroke her backside.

.

"What are we waiting for, Dora?" asked Remus with a throaty voice and noticed that he had to concentrate if he didn't want something to move further down his body...

"I don't know, I would love to skip the waiting...but I still got a lot to do today...although...I could also skip the Christmas party and we could celebrate her...just you and me. What do you say?" said Tonks and looked up at him temptingly.

"And what about the dress you bought for tonight I still wasn't allowed to see?" asked Remus blinking and Tonks sighed.

"As always you're right, wolfie..." mumbled Tonks and by hearing his nickname he knew that their first time was delayed again.

They'd gotten closer and closer during the last weeks and they both felt that they slowly wanted more.

.

Tonks was bustling about the house all day, looking for her bobby pins, jewellery, make-up and shoes.

It was around five o'clock when she entered the living-room, where Remus tried to get his mind off her with a book.

Until now he still hadn't been able to get rid of his desire from the morning and he would have loved to do one or two things with his Dora...but he didn't want to annoy her because he knew how much she was actually looking forward to this Christmas party.

"Did you manage to find everything?" he asked when she dropped onto the sofa next to him.

"Yes, just have to get ready now," she beamed and snuggled closer to him.

Remus couldn't stop himself and so he pulled her into his arms and kissed her temptingly.

Tonks got herself into it and pressed herself into his embrace while his book dropped to the floor unregarded.

He pulled her onto his lap and gently stroked up and down her leg.

Out of breath she drew back reluctantly and looked into his eyes with big, brown, apologetic eyes.

He got the hint and sighed knowingly.

"I should get ready but we'll pick up where we left off, I promise! I can't wait!" she said regretfully, gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and left the room.

Remus let out a long sigh and let his head fall back into the cushions.

.

"What's wrong, Moony?" snapped Sirius' voice him out of his musing a minute later and the Animagic smoothly flopped himself on the sofa next to him.

"Nothing..." grunted Remus.

"Don't even try, I recognize a man who doesn't get what he wants," grinned Sirius mischievously.

"What? That's nonsense!" protested Remus in vain.

"Oh come on, Moony! She wants it, you want it, but you didn't get the right opportunity yet, right? Nothing to be ashamed of. It's just normal that you built up some pressure-"

"Sirius!" interrupted Remus, partly annoyed, partly amused, before Sirius could go into detail.

"I'm happy for you two, Remus, that's all..." said Sirius but his tone had changed...

Remus just wanted to open his mouth to ask him what was wrong, when Tonks entered the room again.

"Tadaaa!" she yelled and the two men spun around.

"Wow coz!" said Sirius and nodded with a recognizing expression.

Remus however was speechless.

Tonks' hair was pinned up except for a few corkscrew curled strands and her fringe framing her face.

She was wearing a deep purple dress which ended just above her knees, not too long and not too short, and black peep-toes.

"You look beautiful, Dora!" said Remus eventually.

"Really?" Ooh, I'm glad you like it!" giggled the pink-haired witch.

"We don't just think that, you are beautiful!" replied Remus, still overwhelmed by the sight of his...well, she was his girlfriend, right?

Sirius nodded affirmatively.

.

"Now that I'm officially well dressed I'm ready to go. I hope you have a nice evening! Don't worry about me, alright? I'm not alone, Moody's freaky eye will watch over me," joked Tonks.

She walked up to the sofa, bent over the back rest and gave Remus a kiss.

Once again a warm sensation spread through Remus' body and he felt like he could never let her go.

Since he had admitted his feelings to her he had been happier than ever since his school time...only because of his Dora.

"I...I'll miss you!" he said quietly and Tonks left with a beaming smile.

Remus sank back into the pillows again feeling slightly disappointed.

_I love you...why didn't I just say it, if I feel it? Or would it be too soon? Do you say it after you are officially in a relationship like in the movies? Or is it okay to say it earlier? I mean, I feel it..._, mused Remus until Sirius' mood swing crossed his mind again.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?" uttered the Animagic while he played around with his fingernails.

"What's wrong?""

"Why do you think anything would be wrong?" played Sirius dumb, hoping Remus would give up and leave him alone with his thoughts.

"You know what I mean, this sudden mood swing a minute ago. You seemed rather...sad. What's wrong Padfoot? You can talk with me, you know that," said Remus quietly and looked at his friend from the side.

Sirius sighed one last time.

"It's nothing important..." he lied lamely.

"Sirius!" said Remus more firmly and placed his hand on his shoulder and Sirius sighed again.

"I, well...it's not important anyway...well..." stammered Sirius hesitantly.

"Yes?" asked Remus.

"I'm really happy for you two! But every time I see you together I think 'what about me?'..., admitted Sirius sheepishly.

Remus was confused.

Did he really just say that?

"Tatze...just because we're a couple doesn't mean we don't care about you anymore."

"That's not what I meant!"

Remus knitted his brows and looked at his old friend who seemed to struggle with himself.

"It's just...I don't know what to do! I've been locked up or on the run for years and now I'm lacking something...or somebody..." mumbled Sirius, hoping for Remus to get the hint with every word.

.

Eventually it dawned to the Werewolf and looked at him incredulously.

"You mean a relationship? But all the bars of the city are open for you now. Are you telling me you want a serious relationship and settle down?" asked Remus and couldn't bite back a smile.

"I don't know, if I imagine picking up one girl after another like I used to, without feelings or meaning to it...and then I see you two, caring for each other so much. I don't know, I'm confused," said Sirius frustrated.

"Butterbeer?" asked Remus and stood up to get some from the kitchen.

.

Meanwhile at the Ministry the mood was much more happy and festive.

All the departments were having parties just like the Aurors' office but of course they couldn't afford to stop working completely.

Yet there was a lot of laughter, dancing and even drinking at the office.

Tonks was chatting and joking with "her boys".

To be exact "her boys" were her square-built colleagues, Remus and Sirius had met at St. Mungo's.

Palmer was there, too, and glancing at Tonks from time to time, but so did Moody's magic eye, hindering any contact between them so far.

With later hour and higher alcohol level the atmosphere got even more jolly.

Tonks had just drunk two Butterbeers and was just a little tipsy but still far away from being drunk.

Palmer however had had more contact with the bar than anyone of his colleagues.

"You look different Tonks, is there anything you want to tell us about that stupid grin sticking on your face?" asked one of Tonks' colleagues while she smiled to herself.

"Do you always have to know everything?" replied the witch grinning and lifted her Butterbeer to touch glasses.

.

Half an hour later she excused herself.

"Where're you going?" asked one of her boys.

"You really need to know everything, don't you? Just answering nature's call. There, now you know!" laughed Tonks and left the office.

She was the only one at the women's bathroom, mainly because there are hardly any other female Aurors.

Lost in thought she left the stall two minutes later and placed her wand and bag on the counter over the sinks.

She checked her make-up and hair in the mirror and washed her hands.

The clicking sound of her heels echoed from the tiled walls as she walked over to the paper towels to dry her hands.

She had just grabbed a few of the thin, grey papers as she heard the door shut behind her back.

Not suspecting anything bad she turned around and flinched...

.

At number 12 Remus had just gotten into bed and thought about his conversation with Sirius.

Of course it was hard for his old friend to start all over again after all those years.

Where do you start?

Apart from that their talk had made him realize once more how happy he could be to have Dora.

She didn't care about his lycanthropy and its possible consequences.

She wanted him with all his quirks and flaws.

He was older, so what? He was dangerous, she could handle that.

It was hard for him to bite the "I love you!" back and today hadn't been the first time he had thought about saying it.

He was just happy with her and couldn't wait for any progress in their relationship and every new day to spend with her.

And so he fell asleep with a smile on his lips, looking forward to lying next to her again once she would return home.

.

"Palmer, what the fuck are you doing in here?!" asked Tonks annoyed.

"Whoopsie, wrong bathroom!" he slurred and the biting smell of firewhisky reached her nostrils.

"Scram!" said Tonks angrily and threw the paper towels into the bin.

Then she noticed him getting closer behind her back.

"Come on...don't always play hard to get. I know you secretly like me, right?" he murmured and inched even closer.

She looked around hectically.

Damnit!

Her wand was still laying on the counter a few metres away from her and out of reach.

"I won't say it again! Get off, pillock!" huffed Tonsk and tried to push him away but he grabbed her wrists surprisingly quickly and pressed her against the wall.

Her eyes widened in panic and she tried to fight back but his grip was too strong.

"You always act like you don't want me, but I don't believe it," slurred Palmer, his face only inches away from hers.

His breath smelled like a mixture of alcohol and something awful and made Tonks instantly feel sick.

He pressed his body against hers to get his hands free, a mad grin on his face.

Scared stiff and unable to move she was stuck between him and the cold wall.

His rough hand stroked over her cheek and Tonks turned her face away disgustedly.

It brushed against her breast but Tonks was still too afraid to move.

Only when she felt his hand touch her knee and stroke up her leg and under the skirt of her dress she awoke from her paralysis.

She gasped in disgust and kneed him accurately in his crotch, making him collapse on the floor immediately.

She seized her chance, grabbed her bag and wand and ran off.

Without telling her colleagues she hurried out of the Ministry, tears streaming down her cheeks.

.

Remus woke up from the noise of footsteps on the stairs.

But even after twenty minutes neither his nor Tonks' door opened.

Instead he just heard the water run in the shower, minute after minute, after minute...

Maybe she spilled something on her dress, he thought sleepily and decided not to worry about it.

Slowly but surely he dozed off again and so he didn't hear the shower become silent half an hour later and Tonks tiptoe into her room, looking like a picture of misery...


	18. good news

**Hello everyone! :3**

**I hope you're having a great weekend! **

**I just finished translating this chapter and I hope you enjoy it :) **

**Well, there's not much more I can say than: have fun! *handing out cups of hot chocolate***

**3 PablosGirl**

remusdora: Thank you for your feedback! :) Well, Sirius will have someone waiting for him by his side...but it will cause a looooot of trouble ;) Don't worry, you'll get Remus' reaction in this chapter...but the best part will be next chapter ;) I'm pretty sure Pablo wouldn't like Palmer either, so he migth bite him ;) Enjoy!

danadanaBATMAN: PablosGirl to the rescue! Here it is, the next chapter :D Remus will be there to comfort her and he'll show another side of him next chapter ;) Enjoy!

* * *

When Remus woke up the next morning he instantly felt that something was wrong.

But he only realized what was wrong when he opened his eyes and looked at the empty place next to him.

Tonks wasn't here!

His Dora wasn't by his side.

Indeed, for his standards he had slept pretty long.

It was already nine o' clock and he knew that Tonks had had the bad luck to get the early shift one day after the Christmas party.

That's why she hadn't wanted to drink too much.

She's probably already at work, he told himself in his sleepy confusion. But why doesn't the bed smell like her then? Maybe she didn't want to wake me up in the middle of the night and slept in her own room.

And so he stood up and went down into the kitchen.

.

"Morning!" greeted Sirius, who seemed a bit relieved after their talk last night. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, well, no...do you know where Tonks is?" asked Remus und ran his fingers through his shaggy hair.

"Err, no...I thought she was already at the Ministry. Why?" asked Sirius confused.

"Well, she wasn't with me tonight. I was just wondering. But you're probably right, she's at work. At least I didn't hear any noise from her room," explained Remus.

He made himself some tea and toast and sat down with Sirius who handed him the part of the Daily Prophet he had already read.

They were both reading silently when suddenly bright, green flames blazed up in the fireplace.

Both men turned around and were surprised to see Moody's face in it.

"Mad-Eye, what happened?" asked Remus seriously.

"Well, that's what I wanted to ask you, boys! Tonks didn't show up at work...and she didn't even drink a lot yesterday," replied Moody and looked at the two men with a grumpy expression.

They both knitted their brows in worry and quickly looked at each other.

"B-but Tonks has always been so reliable about her job. I can only imagine she isn't feeling good and still sleeping upstairs. We were already wondering where she could be," said Sirius slowly and the discomfort flooded his chest like an ice-cold liquid.

He looked at Remus again, who looked just as distressed.

"That's odd. The thing is: Tonks didn't say goodbye to any of us last night. She just left for the bathroom and we hadn't seen her since."

With every word Mad-Eye said the lump in Remus' throat seemed to get bigger and bigger until he felt like he couldn't breathe anymore.

With panic in his yes he looked at Sirius when suddenly a rumble from upstairs made both men look up at the ceiling.

.

Without another word Remus jumped up, nearly knocking over his chair, and hurried up the stairs.

As he reached the top of the steps he just saw a mousy brown ponytail disappear into Tonks' room and the door was closed.

For a moment Remus had thought it was a stranger but then he realized it was her.

He just stood there for a few seconds until he decided that it would be the best to give Sirius the all-clear.

"She's here!" yelled Remus bent over the handrail and looked at Sirius who was standing in the hallway.

The Animagic went back into the kitchen to inform Mad-Eye.

Remus turned around to Tonks' door again, not sure what to do now.

He ran his finger through his hair again, stepped up to her door and knocked carefully.

"Dora?"

No answer.

"Dora? Are you alright?"

Was that a whimpering from her room?

Even more nervous he placed his hand on the door-knob.

"I'm coming in, okay?"

He carefully opened the door and looked into the dim room.

Tonks was lying on her bed rolled up in a ball, facing away from him, and seemed to shiver.

"Dora! What's wrong?" he asked still quietly but terrified as he realized she was crying silently.

_Merlin, what happened?_ He thought and his knees suddenly felt week.

He carefully closed the door behind him and went up to her bed.

She still hadn't turned around .

"Hey..." he whispered as he sat down on the bed but he couldn't hide his fear and worry in his voice.

.

When he gently placed his hand on her shoulder she flinched and sat up.

Remus inhaled sharply.

Her face was tear-stained, her eyes puffy and reddened from crying and her hair was hanging in her face in a mousy brown colour.

"I'm sorry, but...", she said quietly and shifted away from him.

Remus was shocked.

He wanted to pull her into his arms and ask her what had happened...suddenly disappeared...didn't say goodbye...took a suspiciously long shower after she got home...

A horrifying suspicion dawned to him and he stared at her but shifted away a little himself to give her the space she demanded.

Tears started streaming down her face again and he bit back the urge to brush them away.

"Something happened," she said sobbing.

Remus just nodded, showing her he would listen, and she swallowed hard.

"I...went to the bathroom...my wand at the sink. Palmer came in-"

"WHAT?!" interrupted Remus, nearly yelling, and regretted it immediately as he saw Tonks flinch again.

"I'm sorry, go on...I'm here," he said and placed his hand on the mattress, near enough to her so she could take it if she wanted.

"He...was completely drunk...said I shouldn't play hard to get...then he pressed me against the wall...my wand, at the sink, I was such a bloody idiot..." sobbed Tonks and grabbed his hand.

He gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

"What happened next?" he asked with a throaty voice. "Did he touch you?"

With all his control Remus tried to hold back the anger he felt right now.

The wolf was raging, someone had touched his Dora, had made her cry.

This pervert would pay for this...

"Yes...he clutched me...he stroked my cheek...he smelled so badly and then...then," sobbed Tonks and eventually let Remus pull her into his arms.

.

He gently stroked her hair.

"Shhh, it's okay, what happened then?" he asked although he didn't really want to know.

"He...touched my breast."

Remus clenched his teeth and jut nodded with self-control.

"And then...he touched my leg...up under my dress...then I suddenly woke up again, kicked him in the balls and ran away," she whimpered. "Why was I so stupid, Remus?"

"What?" he asked honestly confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why did I leave my wand out of reach? Why didn't I move earlier?" she sobbed mumbled into his shirt.

"Dora, no! It's not your fault, you mustn't even think like that! Nothing about this is your fault!" he said.

"You probably don't want me anymore, right?" she said crying and hid her face at his shoulder.

Remus had to chuckle unwittingly.

"Really? Are you joking? I'd be crazy not to want you! But believe me, this asshole will pay for this," he said and his voice became a deep, angry growl at the end.

"Remus..." whimpered Tonks.

"Shhh, alright, sorry. But he won't get away with it, I promise," he huffed. "Can I get you anything? How about some tea?"

She nodded silently while Remus shirt got wetter and wetter.

.

One minute later Sirius heard Remus walk down the stairs and the volume of his footsteps told him that something was really wrong.

Without a word Remus went to the kitchen counter, facing away from Sirius, and heated up some water for the tea.

"Remus?" asked Sirius carefully as he saw his friend's hands tremble as they grabbed the worktop.

"This bloody asshole! I knew it! If I ever see him again, I swear I'll-"

"Remus!" stopped Sirius him and stared into his anger filled eyes.

A streak of amber seemed to flash through them...

"Just tell me what happened!" said Sirius, trying to calm him down.

"What happened? Palmer, this bastard, touched Dora! He cornered her in the women's bathroom and groped her! That's what happened, Sirius! Who knows what else he would've done if she hadn't kicked him in the balls! If I ever get hold of him..." growled Remus furiously and hit the countertop with his fist.

Sirius just looked at him in disbelief.

"It's true, Sirius, she just told me. She's completely done. She didn't want to be near another man last night and showered in the middle of the night. She's blaming herself because she left her wand out of reach," said Remus suddenly powerless and rubbed his face with his hand.

.

"Do you think I can see her?" asked Sirius quietly.

But Remus didn't know and just shrugged his shoulders.

And so Sirius followed him upstairs and waited in the doorframe.

"Sirius wants to see you, is that okay, Dora?" asked Remus quietly and placed the cup of tea on her nightstand.

"Yes."

Sirius entered the room and forced an encouraging smile.

"Hey coz...Remus told me what happened," said Sirius awkwardly.

Tears started to fill her eyes again and she leant against Remus, who wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Sirius sat on her other side and gave her a gentle kiss on her hair.

They sat in silence for a while until Sirius raised his voice again.

"You should talk about that with Mad-Eye. Don't worry, we won't let him get away with it. Me neither."

"Sirius...I don't want you to get in trouble because...because of this asshole," said Tonks sadly.

"Are you kidding me? Someone has to watch Remus so he won't rip his head off and I mean it literally!" joked Sirius and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm just so mad at myself for freezing in that situation...but it's good to know there are two men who are there for me," said Tonks smiling and her hair colour got a pink glimmer.

.

"You were shocked and scared, Dora, that's nothing to be ashamed of. It's okay, even for an Auror, to feel weak from time to time," said Remus gently and kissed her cheek.

Leant her head against his and snuggled up closer to into his arms.

"Thank you two for being here!" she said.

"Thank _you_ for being here," smiled Remus and slowly regained his calm.

"I'll be downstairs and tell Moody you won't be coming to work today and that you'll explain it to him, okay?" said Sirius and left the room.

With a wry smile she looked up at her Werewolf.

"It's okay if you need some space," he said understanding.

"No, I want you to be here with me," she said and couldn't bite back a big yawn.

"Tired?" he asked gently.

"Yes...haven't slept all night," she answered.

He felt a physical sting in his chest but she had already sealed his lips with hers for a short kiss.

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?" she asked and Remus melted away.

"As long as you want me to, all day if you want."

.

One hour later Remus was dreaming of a voice, Dora's voice.

Quietly and blurry it reached his ears.

"Remus? Are you still sleeping? Seems so...anyway, I have to rid myself of this. You were right and I feel so dumb for I didn't listen to you."

The voice sank in to his conscience more and more clearly now and he slowly woke up.

Was this voice real and not just part of his dreams?

"You were so right about Palmer. He's a disgusting creep and I underestimated him. I'd never thought he'd really do something like this. You were right, Remus."

No doubt, this was Tonks' voice!

Remus took a deep breath and opened his sleepy eyes.

"Hey! You're awake...did you hear what I just said?" asked Tonks and looked guilty.

Her hair however was light-pink again...

Remus nodded silently.

"Well...I'll listen to you in the future...you really have a good knowledge of human nature. Maybe that's an instinct."

Remus screwed up his face at the last word.

"Hey! I like the wolf in you...you know...it somehow makes you even more interesting...attractive...and not all of its features are bad, right? Your senses are better and you're stronger than you look like." Said Tonks and smiled at him.

"If you say so," he said with a gentle smile.

"It's just...all this stuff that happened to me recently..." said Tonks seriously. "Maybe I'm not that suited for this job after all...maybe I'm really too careless."

With those words Remus carefully rolled over her and cupped her face with his hands while Tonks looked at him in surprise.

"You're a great Auror! Everyone makes mistakes and this was not your fault, not at all! Palmers a bastard, that's all! Don't let this get you down, okay? You're a strong woman and this won't make you quit this job you love so much. It's a tough job and yet you always keep your positivity, that's what your colleagues cherish about you! You're professional but you're not as paranoid as Moody, so what? Please don't think like that, Dora, alright?" said Remus and ended his speech with a gentle kiss.

.

"Tonks, are you ready?!" yelled Sirius through the staircase the same evening.

"Yeeeees, I'll be there in a minute!" screamed Tonks back.

_Merlin, what kind of family did I get roped into?_, thought Remus grinning as he prepared tea for the Order meeting with Molly in the kitchen.

A few moments later a well known face appeared in the door frame.

"Ben!" said Remus grinning and embraced the other Werewolf.

"How are you? Must've been more than a month," smiled Ben regretfully.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But we had a lot of trouble around here recently. I'm great, thank you," answered Remus and couldn't bite back a wide grin.

"Going well with Tonks, hm?" whispered Ben and hit the bull's-eye.

"Damn your Werewolf senses! You already know me too well," joked Remus.

Sirius was watching the two men from the table.

He saw how well they got along.

They were communicating on a completely different level than Remus and he himself.

It was something special, of course, they were both Werewolves, but Sirius also knew that nothing could ever get in between Moony and Padfoot.

Not that Ben would want it!

His initial scepticism towards the other Werewolf had quickly transformed into respect and esteem.

And so Sirius got up and walked over to them.

"Hello Ben! How are you?" asked Sirius smiling.

"Um, I'm fine, and you?" replied Ben a little nervous which confused Sirius.

"Err...I'm fine, yes, everything's okay," said Sirius awkwardly helped himself with the tea.

"Ben!" sounded another voice from the kitchen door.

Tonks walked up to them and embraced Ben friendly.

"How are you? Are you keeping an eye on those two?" he joked and nodded towards Remus and Sirius.

"Sure, someone has to keep them under control," she grinned.

.

"Okay everyone! The others should be here any minute," said Molly and sat down with them.

She was scratching around on the tabletop with her nails and brushed imaginary crumbs off it.

She had been looking as if she was bursting with excitement the whole time since she had entered number 12 this evening.

"Molly, are you alright?" asked Tonks curiously.

"I...no, I mustn't tell you, just be patient," grinned Molly and blushed.

Tonks looked back at the three men who just shrugged their shoulders.

A few minutes later the other members had arrived and Dumbledore just wanted to start the meeting, when Bill entered the kitchen.

The grin on Molly's face grew impossibly wide as she saw him.

"I'm sorry I'm late, guys, but...well, I'm a father!" he said bursting with pride.

Congratulations and good wishes echoed through the kitchen and the three men got an impression of Tonks' female side.

"Oh wow! What is it? A boy or a girl? How's Fleur?" she sputtered while she embraced Bill.

"She's fine, she's recovering at home right now. It's a girl and we want to name her Victoire!" grinned Bill.

"A girl! Merlin, a little girl! Now you can get her everything in pink! Little socks and rompers and everything!" squealed Tonks in unknown high pitch while turning around to Remus and the others from time to time.

And suddenly Remus felt something else mingling with the happiness he felt for Bill and Fleur.

He had never talked about children with her. But considering her reaction the topic made her more than excited...

He feared it but he decided to talk with her about it soon...he didn't want her to risk so much for their relationship while he couldn't even offer her the future she wished for...


	19. pink madness

**Hey everyone! :3 *group hug***

**As you probably noticed I'm not updating daily at the moment. I hope you don't mind.**

**I just don't have that much time to translate those long chapters at the moment but I'll give my best to keep the updates coming regularly :)**

**Thank you all for reading my story and taking the time to review it, I really appreciate it and I really love translating this story for you!**

**I hope you like this chapter, too. There's sooo much stuff in there I personally love: Remus showing his rough side, Sirius/Remus moments, serious/romantic conversations between Remus and Dora and of course hot chocolate and the first snow! :3**

**I'd love to read your reactions to it and feel free to tell me what you think about it!**

**But for now: enjoy it and take a hot chocolate! *preparing a table with cups of hot chocolate and cookies***

**PablosGirl**

remusdora: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it and I'm pretty sure you'll love this one! :D Don't worry, Pablo is always taking care of me. He's like a furry, little heater in winter :3 And in exchange I'm making sure he gets enough belly rubs and scratches behind his ears ;) Enjoy the chapter!

Riecke: Hello and welcome to my little story! (at least I think it's your first review here :3 ) Thank you very much for your feedback! I'm glad you like it even though I'm "torturing" Remus and Tonks like that ;) Enjoy the chapter! PS: I really like your name :)

danadanaBATMAN: I'm glad you liked it :) I'm really curious for your reaction on this chapter! ;) Enjoy the chap!

TooLazyToLogIn: *initiating Liam Neeson voice* I don't know who you are...but I will find you...and I will...THANK YOU! :D Just a little joke ;) thank you for your feedback mysterious user. I hope you enjoy this chapter, too!

* * *

The next morning Sirius and Tonks decided to go shopping for the new parents' gifts right after the end of Tonks' shift.

"How about you meet me at three o' clock at the Ministry? There's a great store in Muggle-London, no Remus, not Harrods, no need to look so shocked!" she said grinning.

"Are you sure you can do it alone, Tonks? We could come to Kingsley with you if you want," said Sirius more seriously.

"I'll manage, guys. I know I was shocked and all because of this...asshole. But I have to do it on my own. At least i have something to look forward to now after work," she smiled.

"That's up to you. But it's probably better this way...our dear Moony here is already getting yellow eyes at the mere thought of him," joked Sirius and nodded towards Remus who flinched caught.

The amber tone vanished from his eyes again and left a clear grey.

"And I don't want any of you to get in trouble because of me. Well, I have to go now anyway! See you later, keep your fingers crossed!" said Tonks and yet got a bit nervous as she left through the door.

.

"Hey Moony! What's wrong?" snapped Sirius Remus out of his musing.

The thought of Tonks' euphoria about the baby hadn't left his mind all night and so he had looked at the peacefully sleeping Tonks beside him again and again, unable to find sleep himself.

"I know you Remus, something's bothering you! Tonks can manage that. One short talk with Kingsley and this asshole will be kicked out in no time."

"That's not it," growled Remus and stirred his tea.

"Well, what is it then?" asked Sirius, raising his eyebrows.

Remus took a deep breath and began to explain.

"You saw how excited she got over the baby last night, right? Sirius, I'll never be able to give her all that...she's young and I'd be a bar to her own family."

"Remus, did you even talk about it yet? Do you know if she wants children at all?" asked Sirius.

"No, not yet. But you saw her reaction..."

"That's not saying much, Remus! Even if..." replied Sirius and took a sip of his tea.

"Even if?! If what, Sirius? No one knows if Lycanthropy is heritable. And you know I'd never take that risk! Not the in the slightest!" said Remus firmly.

"Okay, okay! I didn't mean it like that. You could still adopt!" replied Sirius, trying to calm Remus down.

"Adopt? An Auror, who could die at work every day, and a Werewolf, who transforms into a murderous beast every month? Not to mention the poor child's reputation..." said Remus sadly and stared into his tea.

"Hey, just talk to her if it's worrying you. And please, give her a chance and don't just run away again. If you two want children one day, then you'll find a way. Don't be so pessimistic about everything. She's important to you, isn't she?" said Sirius gently.

"Important? I love this woman! That's the-" replied Remus but Sirius interrupted him.

And Remus realised immediately why and bit his lower lip.

"You love her? Did you tell her?" asked Sirius in a baffling voice.

"No, I haven't yet...but I won't be able to keep it to myself for long, I'm afraid. Anyway, you're right, I'll have to talk to her."

With these words Remus stood up and left, leaving a smirking Sirius behind.

.

Later that day Tonks knocked on Kingsley's office's door.

"Come in!" sounded his deep, muffled voice from behind the door.

Tonks took her courage in both hands and entered.

All day long she had pushed the thoughts of this talk and the night of the Christmas party aside.

And fortunately none of her colleagues had asked her about her sudden disappearance...

"Kingsley? Can you spare five minutes for me?" she asked shyly which already made him suspicious and so he put his papers aside and offered her a seat in front of his desk.

"Sure. What is it, Tonks?"

"Well...you probably know that I was suddenly gone at the Christmas party...and that I didn't show up at work yesterday...something has happened, Kingsley," she said hesitantly.

After she had finished telling him about everything even Kingsley, who was usually a calm person, had to bite back his anger.

"It's good you told me, Tonks, and I'm really sorry for what happened. That was more than enough. There'll be consequences and not even his father will be able to help him out of this," he said and stepped out of his office with Tonks.

Mad-Eye was already waiting for them.

"Are we finally getting rid of this sponge?" asked Moody grunting.

"I think so, Mad-Eye!" said Kingsley seriously.

.

At the same time Remus and Sirius were leaving number 12 for the Ministry.

"Remus, are you sure you don't want to wait outside? Nobody likes Palmer but nobody wants to scratch him off the floor, either..." joked Sirius.

"No, I'm okay. I'll pull myself together..." mumbled Remus but he already felt the wolf again at the thought of Palmer.

Just concentrate and pull yourself together, thought Remus.

.

"Palmer, we have to talk!" said Kingsley firmly as he entered Palmer's office.

"Won't that keep? "

"No, we'll talk right now!" replied Kingsley. "Tonks told me about an incident at the Christmas party. Is it true that you entered the women's bathroom and harassed her?"

"I, well...I can explain this! Everyone drinks too much from time to time..." said Palmer, trying to talk himself out of it but he didn't even sound guilty.

"So you admit it?" asked Kingsley coldly.

"Yes, for Merlin's sake! But I don't get why she's making a big hoo-ha about it-"

"Enough, Palmer!" interfered Moody angrily.

"Palmer, you are on leave until further notice because of sexual harassment at the workplace. Without pay of course. And I don't have to tell you that you're out of this job! Pack your stuff and I'll accompany you out."

With his eyes screwed up to thin lines Palmer packed his stuff and did what he was told...

.

Remus and Sirius arrived the corridor of the Aurors' office in the meantime.

Remus was concentrating on burying the wolf as deep inside him as possible...

Then he noticed Tonks a few doors down the corridor with her colleagues.

Now she had noticed them, too, and waved cheerfully while her colleagues nodded friendly.

A door clicked right to Sirius' and his' left and suddenly Kingsley, Moody and Palmer were standing in front of them.

Within seconds every muscle in Remus' body tensed up and he felt hi anger rise from his guts again.

Sirius noticed it and grabbed his friend's arm.

"Remus!" he hissed as he saw how his grey eyes slowly covered in an amber haze.

Tonks' colleagues watched the scene curiously while Tonks took a sharp breath.

"What's he doing here again? They should keep guys like him away from other people!" said Palmer, nearly spitting out the words, and looked up at the taller Remus with a disdainful glance.

Remus however just stepped up to him slowly and threateningly and stopped in front of him at arm's length.

"I don't give a damn what you think about me. But I'll only warn you once, if you ever lay hands on Tonks or just get near her again then I'll make mincemeat out of you, got it, git?" he growled threateningly.

.

For a few moments which felt like hours nobody said anything and the tension grew thicker and thicker.

Sirius was watching Remus carefully, waiting for the smallest hint of Remus lunging at Palmer.

Kingsley and Moody were watching the scene expressionless while Tonks colleagues looked at Remus, partly curious, partly impressed.

Tonks however still couldn't believe her eyes and ears.

Wasn't Remus usually the calm one, nearly a pacifist?

And now he just threatened Palmer in front of half a dozen people?

And yet a small smile flashed her lips at the thought of Remus protecting her and showing his rough side.

.

"Who do you think you are? Everyone around here heard that you just threatened me! Right?" said Palmer arrogantly as usual but as he looked around none of his colleagues were backing him up.

He huffed disdainful.

"You really think you're an equal human being for Tonks, right? You're a beast which has to be caged, that's all! Apart from this...this girl doesn't even know what she's talking about. The truth of the matter is that she enjoyed what I-" said Palmer snooty but he didn't get to finish his sentence.

CRASH!

Within the blink of an eye Remus had lunged at Palmer before Sirius could have reacted and pressed him against the wall.

His face was only a palm away from Palmer's shocked one.

"One more word about Tonks and it will be your last one!" growled Remus in a tone Tonks had never heard from him.

He looked at Palmer aggressively who was unable to move and with his feet nearly off the ground.

The muscles tensed up under Remus' skin and he uttered another deep growl before he dropped Palmer ungently on the ground.

He was breathing heavily but let Sirius pull him away, his eyes still watching Palmer.

Tonks didn't know what to think.

She could've easily protected herself verbally but this performance by Remus'...

She was impressed and intimidated at the same time but she suddenly felt completely safe and sound.

Besides she found Remus' extremely attractive right now, clenching his fists and following his urges.

Then he suddenly turned his head, her eyes met his and she flinched a little.

These weren't the calm, gentle grey eyes but glowing amber ones.

But within seconds the amber was gone again and he blinked a few times.

.

Remus didn't regret anything he had said or done.

"Damnit, Remus..." hissed Sirius and he didn't knew himself if he meant it reproachfully or appreciatively.

"Shacklebolt, you saw what he just did! You can't allow this! All of you saw it!" yelled Palmer hysterically and reminded Sirius of Pettigrew somehow.

"I saw it, yes, and I'll have to talk with Mr. Lupin. But if I were you I would walk out of here and keep my mouth shut," said Kingsley calmly and Palmer strutted off with a bright red face.

Remus looked at Kingsley, who nodded towards his office.

"Remus, you know this wasn't necessary, don't you?" asked Kingsley after he had closed the door behind them and sounded amused.

"I know Kingsley, I'm sorry...not because of him but because I lost control," replied Remus honestly.

"Alright, Remus. I know you'll think about it long enough so this should suffice as a punishment. You can go. See you at the next meeting."

.

When Remus stepped out of the office he saw Sirius standing with Tonks and her colleagues a few metres away.

With an apologetic smile on his lips he walked up to them and looked at Tonks.

"Ready to go?"

"Sure, you big, bad wolf!" joked Tonks beaming and met him halfway with Sirius.

A crooked grin appeared on his face and he would have loved to hug and kiss her but he knew that he mustn't do that right here and right now...

And yet a knowing smile played around the corners of her colleagues' mouths as they said goodbye to her.

.

Half an hour later, because they had decided to walk to the store, they were standing in front of a big building with revolving doors which were constantly spun around by dozens of people walking in and out of the store.

"There we are!" grinned Tonks who had linked arms with the two men to her left and right.

At the third floor Tonks couldn't hold back her excitement any longer and she let go of them with a squeal and hurried towards the tiny socks, rompers and shoes.

A grin flashed Remus' lips at this sight and yet a strange feeling produced a lump in his throat again.

He still hadn't talked to Tonks about her family plans and now they were surrounded by young, fond couples with their babies in carriers and strollers.

Remus swallowed hard but Sirius had already grabbed his arm and was dragging him behind Tonks.

The latter was already standing in front of a display with small dresses and hats.

And to the men's surprise they weren't even too pink.

"You'll never get me out of here again, guys!" grinned Tonks without taking her eyes off the tiny dress.

"We already feared that," laughed Sirius and shot Remus, who was biting his lip nervously, an asking glance. "I'll be over there, if you need me. They've got music boxes, too, that would be a good idea, right Tonks?"

"Yes, I'll be with you in a few minutes!" replied Tonks cheerfully.

And so Sirius walked away and looked at Remus with raised eyebrows before he turned around.

.

"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Tonks as she noticed him staring into the nothingness.

"I, err...nothing," he said quickly.

"You didn't have to do this at the Ministry, you know..." said Tonks smirking.

"Yeah, Kingsley said that, too."

"But I liked it..." she said winking, blushed a little and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Remus' cheeks reddened, too, and he tried to find the right words to lead the conversation into the right, and yet dreaded, direction.

He just inhaled to say something as a young man appeared on the other side of the display.

As the two looked up they realized he was wearing a carrier in front of his chest with a little baby boy in it.

"Hello!" he greeted friendly and browsed through the clothes on the other side.

"Hello!" replied the two and Tonks' eyes were caught by the tiny fingers grabbing the man's shirt.

He noticed her look and smiled.

.

"There's nearly too much stuff here, right? Hard to decide what to get. Did you leave yours at the grandparents? It's really much more stress-free, although Jamie here is quite easy to handle. He's barely awake whenever we carry him like this."

"Uh...oh, no! We don't have children," replied Remus confused.

"We're just looking for a gift for our friends. They just got a little girl," explained Tonks.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Well, then good luck!" he said with a friendly smile and turned towards another display.

"Ciao Jamie," said Tonks and waved at the sleepily blinking baby before she turned around to Remus.

"He was so adorable, right?" she said beaming.

"Yeah," said Remus and cleared his throat. "Err, Dora...there's something I can't get out of my head...and I have to talk about it with you, really."

Surprised by his seriousness Tonks put away the dress she was holding and looked up at him.

"What's the matter, Remus?" she asked worriedly.

"It's just...I'm so happy to have you! But I don't want to stand in your way, do you understand?" he mumbled.

"No, I don't."

"When Bill told us about the baby you were so excited, you get excited about little socks and rompers and your look just spoke for itself. Dora...you'll never be able to have kids with me...a family..." he explained and was partly relieved to have told her and partly afraid of her reaction.

But to his surprise she smiled.

"So what? I'm still young, Remus, and I really want to be with you. I don't even know if I ever want children of my own. I like children, but I still have enough time."

"Maybe, but what if we're still together in a few years and you realize that you want children?" asked Remus desperately.

"Then we'll find a way! Remus, you're so important to me, if you don't want to have kids..."

"No, I never said that...but..."

"They could inherit your condition, I know. And society's prejudice, I know. But how about we enjoy our relationship first and get to know each other better. Don't rack your brain about it, okay wolfie?" she said gently and Remus couldn't bite back a smile.

"Merlin, this nickname..."

"Is wonderful!" she completed his sentence grinning and turned around to the baby clothes again.

.

Half an hour later they had bought everything for the gift basket: an owl-shaped music box and two tiny outfits, a pink one and a green one with little fairytale pictures on it.

And so they returned to number twelve, happy about what they got.

"You know what we deserve now? Hot chocolate!" warbled Tonks as she placed the bags on the kitchen table.

A crooked grin appeared on Remus' lips.

"And we all know who the expert on hot chocolate is! I'll put on something more comfortable and take those bags upstairs," said Tonks and left the room again.

Remus sighed and accepted his fate.

While he was standing at the stove and prepared three cups of hot chocolate, Sirius was watching him from the side.

"So, did you talk about it, Moony?" he asked.

"Yeah. And she said exactly what you said. That there's still enough time for it and that we'll find a way. But I still feel like it's not resolved yet..." replied Remus, keeping his eyes on the hot milk in the pot.

Even if one used magic it was still quite difficult to cook milk...one must keep their eyes glued to it, unless it would over boil.

Unless you're an experienced house-witch...but Remus was not Molly.

"You'll manage! But I'll be the godfather, that's for sure!" grinned Sirius.

"Padfoot!"

"Okay, okay!"

.

Ten minutes later the hot chocolate was ready but Tonks was still upstairs.

"Just bring it into the living-room, I'll go and get Tonks," suggested Remus and went upstairs.

"Hey, Dora, can I come in?" he asked and stopped in front of her door.

"Sure!" sounded her voice from her room and he entered.

Tonks was now wearing a huge hoodie and thick pink-purple-striped socks.

She was folding the baby clothes from the bags and Remus thought that she looked a little bit wistful.

And so he went up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It's not as easy as you told me, hm?" he asked carefully and gently kissed her neck.

Tonks sighed and put the pink dress down.

"I don't want children yet but maybe in a few years. But I don't even know what my life will be like in a few years...you know, times are rough. But I think you'd be a great Dad...and I can't imagine that you don't want kids someday," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

He slowly turned her around in his arms and looked into her eyes.

"Dora...I never really thought about it...if I want to have children. It was never an option for me because of my condition. But when we were at the store and there was this man...I thought that it has to be nice. But I can't and I don't want to stand in your way. You could have a family of your own if you want, but it will be hard with me by your side," he explained sadly.

Then she lifted his chin with her fingers and looked into his grey eyes.

And to his surprise she was smiling.

"Remus, since I have you my life has just gotten easier! Finally I have a reason again to look forward to the end of my shift. I love living here with you and Sirius. You're such a great man. Whenever you're around I feel like nothing could harm me. And if we want to have children one day, then we will find a way together! But at first we'll have to start practicing," she said winking and he blushed.

"How about we go downstairs and you drink your hot chocolate before it's cold?" he suggested grinning and they went down into the living room where Sirius was already waiting for them.

.

"There you are!" said Sirius smiling as the two entered the room hand in hand.

For the next minutes they just drank their hot chocolates and sank back into the pillows.

Outside the windows the first snowflakes were dancing in the wind.

"Tell me guys, how long do you want to keep it a secret from the rest of the Order? I mean, your..." asked Sirius.

"Well...I'm actually not quite sure...what are we?" asked Remus Tonks smiling.

Until now he hadn't had the right opportunity or the courage to openly ask her if they were in a real relationship or not.

How should he know?

He, who never had a real relationship before.

"Well, good questions. I, for my part, would be more than happy to call myself your girlfriend. But maybe it would be nice to keep it to ourselves a little longer, what do you think?" said Tonks smirking.

Remus' heart skipped a beat as he heard that.

"Yeah, that would be nice," he said grinning and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

And so they still sat in the living room and enjoyed the evening with Sirius, who was watching them the whole time with a smile on his lips.


	20. I love you

**Hey there! :3 *group hug* **

**First of all: thank you for reading and reviewing my story. It always brings a smile to my face when I read your reviews. Writing, or better translating, this story really means a lot to me and I really enjoy it. So a big thank you to everyone who read and reviews my story! You make those grey, autumn days lighter! :) **

**As you might guess from the title, this chapter contains a really important point in Remus' and Dora's relationship. It's eytra long and there's a lot of love waiting for you in this chapter...maybe even more than you'd expect ;) **

**Don't worry, nothing too serious or graphic, but I don't want to spoil everything again. Okay, maybe one more warning: fluff-alarm! :3**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this special chapter and I'm really curious about your reactions this time! *smiling like an idiot in front of my laptop***

**I appreciate every single review and any kind of feedback. I'm always trying to improve and your opinion would help a lot :) **

**Have fun! *handing out chocolate and hot tea* **

**PablosGirl 3**

remusdora: Wow, thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter so much. :) And you're rigth, Remus is, once again, thinking way too far ahead because it will be long until they become parents ;) Oh, so you're waiting for them to say "I love you"...*pointing at the title of this chapter* Maybe you're lucky *wink wink* Thank you very much, Pablo will definately enjoy the belly rubs and cheese you sent him :3 I'm curious for your reaction, enjoy the chapter!

Riecke: Thank you for your feedback :) I thought the same thing as I wrote this scene! Yes, you're right, like that they won't hear that annoying biologic clock ticking too soon ;) Yeah, I really like that name, it's the short form of Friederike, right? (there's so many possible spellings for this name^^) I'm German, too, btw, and one of my favourite baking blogs is by a woman named Rieke, that's why I recognised the name. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Awwww! Don't cry! *handing out tissues* well, if you liked last chapter then you'll hopefully love this one! I'm curious for your reaction ;) Have fun!

* * *

Christmas got closer and closer and Remus started to worry about his presents.

By his standards his finances looked rather good right now but he just had no ideas.

Well, he was sure about Tonks' present...

She was at work right now and Sirius was gone, too, so he would have enough time to make up his mind.

And he had already been sitting on his bed thinking about his relationship with Tonks.

Sure, Sirius' rehabilitation and the lack of rent-worries helped a lot, but Tonks just made him so happy...to be honest he hadn't been that happy since his school days and a big smile flashed his lips at this thought.

She accepted him just the way he was and he had eventually dared to give himself in to it and take some risks for this relationship...for her.

The idea of her suffering because of him sent a physical sting through his chest and he quickly pushed it out of his mind before the doubts could take over again.

He had thrown over all his resolutions, rules and prohibitions he had forced upon himself.

He had sworn to himself that he would never have a serious relationship so no one would have to suffer from his reputation and the prejudice...and so he would never have to lose anyone again he loved.

But one rainy evening, when he had returned from his Order mission and a pink head of hair had thrown herself in front of his feet, the tide had turned.

.

He got up with a sigh and stepped up to his set of drawers which kept, except for his books, nearly all of his belongings.

He pulled out a small drawer and dug through his gloves and scarves until he found a small box.

It was rather unimpressive, of a dark-blue colour and one could have easily missed it even it was lying around in plain sight...and yet every woman would instantly realise what it was.

Remus carefully opened the jewellery box and walked back to his bed, his eyes never leaving the piece of jewellery in his hands.

He gently touched the box's content and smiled.

It was a plain, silver coloured necklace.

Of course it was no silver, unless Remus would have steered clear of it...typically for a Werewolf he was allergic to silver.

This made it even harder and annoying for him to clean the old house with Sirius because its cupboards and cabinets were loaded with antique silver.

This necklace was made of white gold, but this wasn't even important.

What really mattered to Remus was its pendant.

An oval cut, crystal clear gemstone, embedded in a setting of tiny white gold vines and blossoms.

He gently moved it from side to side and the light refracted through the cut in pink, blue, yellow, purple and green.

_Just like Tonks_, he thought smirking.

.

Of course he would have never had the money to buy her something like this.

And this made it even more valuable to him.

This necklace had been a gift from his grandmother she had given to him short before her death.

"Give it to a special girl one day. A girl who is unique. And I don't want to hear that you'll never find a girl, Remus! Because you will. And you'll it know when it happens," she had said.

He felt a suspicious burning sensation in the corner of his eyes at the thought of his grandmother.

Their relationship had been something very special because she had always given him the feeling that he was just as valuable as anybody else; that he was valuable and important...no condition in the world could have changed that.

When she died the world collapsed on him and his self-confidence with it.

All those years he had neither looked at nor opened the small box because he knew it would only hurt him and be a painful reminder of his self-imposed loneliness.

And now he had Dora, whose temperament and hair colour could change as quickly as the stone's reflection.

He wasn't sure how she would react to it, but he was sure that he would give it to her, no matter what.

Would she like it?

Maybe she would think that it was a bit early for such gifts...

Remus couldn't find an answer, put the box back in the drawer and lay down on his bed.

.

Lost in thought he stared at the ceiling, thinking about his Dora.

She was pretty, attractive and smart.

Of course, she could have morphed herself into a top model in no time if she wanted.

But Remus didn't want anything like that.

For him she was already perfect.

Her shoulder long, pink hair, which had barely changed its colour during the last weeks...

She was smaller than him, only about 1,7 metres.

She was rather slim but she had some pretty curves, which attracted his eyes again and again.

Without noticing it a wide smile had spread across his face and chills went down his spine.

He had already seen more of her skin from time to time but never more than a deep cleavage with long jeans or short pyjama shorts with a big, baggy pullover.

If he thought about it, he realized she had actually seen more of him when she had treated his wounds after full-moon...

Of course he had already asked himself what her skin what feel like under his fingertips or what she would look like when she doffed all her clothes.

Every single thought was accompanied by the wild, inviting howls of the wolf inside him which wanted more...and Remus would have lied to tell anybody he felt different about it.

There had been a lot of cuddling during the last weeks and one or another wild snog but Remus wanted to be even closer with her.

.

And yet he had decided to wait for her to make the first move.

Maybe it was better this way because the thought his insecurity quickly brushed away his anticipation again.

But then another thought crossed Remus' mind.

Was she really waiting at all?

In fact it was her who made those hints and approaches all the time...

He looked up at his clock and a warm sensation spread in his chest as he realised that she would already be home again in less than half an hour.

_What the hell is wrong with you? Pull yourself together!_, he thought.

And so he went down into the kitchen to keep himself from daydreaming.

Only ten minutes later the front door opened and Tonks stumbled into the room in her purple coat.

Remus looked up from the Daily Prophet he was reading for the second time today.

"Hey!" she said happily with sparkling eyes.

Her hair was dotted with white snowflakes which slowly started to melt from the fireplace's heat.

"I brought some Chinese food!" she said grinning and placed three take-away boxes on the table.

"How was your day?" asked Remus while she draped her coat over the back of a chair.

"Ah, it was fine. Just like any other day. Remus? Are you alright?" she asked as she noticed his absent-minded look.

"I'm sorry, what? Oh, err, yes...everything's perfectly fine..." he mumbled and blushed.

Tonks was wearing her black blouse again today, but this time with a few more buttons opened...

"Oh, you're falling for my feminine charms , I see," she joked and sat on his lap sideways.

Remus instantly started to feel a bit warmer as he inhaled her smell and felt her weight on his lap.

"I'm sorry, but you leave me no choice," he said blinking and wrapped his arms around her.

She put her arms around his neck and they started to kiss, gentle and romantic at first, then more and more tempting and passionate until Remus' fingertips carefully found their way under her blouse where they started to stroke her hips.

"Hey! Leave my fat alone!" she protested giggling and a wide grin flashed his lips.

"There's a reason they call it love handles, Dora! And I don't want to stroke your bones."

Tonks smiled mollified and just wanted to place a kiss on his neck as Sirius walked through the kitchen door.

.

"I'm really happy you two like each other and it's okay you want to express it with precoital activities but we don't want the food to get cold, do we?" said Sirius with a shamelessly wide grin as he sat down.

Remus already opened his mouth to protest but Tonks was quicker.

"You're lucky it's just precoital...but you're right, I'm starving!" she grinned and the three started to eat.

"Hey Shiriush, when are we going to get our Chrishtmash tree?" asked Tonks with her mouth full.

"Hmm, someday this week? As far as I know Molly's planning on celebrating Christmas here with the Order," explained Sirius.

"Sounds good," added Remus, trying to get his thoughts off of Tonks and her curves...

Even now munching away and speaking with her mouth full her appeal didn't lessen.

.

When they had finished their meal Tonks asked Remus to go get a bottle of wine from another room.

Once he was out of his wolfish hearing distance she turned to her older cousin.

"Sirius, I have to talk to you...you know that we, well, are getting closer and closer recently, right?" she asked quietly with knitted brows.

The Animagic just nodded so she would go on.

"Well...I think it won't be long until we, you know, and I just..." stammered Tonks shyly and blushed.

"What's wrong? It's not your first time, right?" asked Sirius bluntly and raised his eyebrows.

"No! It's...well...you know that my last relationship was quite long ago and, well, I concentrated on my job and you know how much I like food..."

"Oh come on, Tonks, really? You're afraid he might not find you attractive? That's bullshit! Firstly, speaking as a man, you look great! Secondly, Remus is no teenage boy who's chasing some size zero girl! And thirdly, you obviously never noticed the way he looks at you when he feels unobserved. Our dear Remus is a gentleman, he'll wait until you make the first move to show him that you're ready...even though it's slowly killing him," said Sirius and grinned at his last sentence.

"But-" said Tonks but Sirius interrupted her.

"Believe me, Remus has more self-doubts than you but, to make it obvious, he wants you!" added Sirius with a mischievous grin.

A few seconds later they heard footsteps from the hallway and stopped talking.

"Here's the wine," mumbled Remus a few moments later and uncorked the bottle at the table.

"Thanks!" said Tonks with her cheeks still slightly red.

.

And so they sat in the kitchen for the next hour, chatting and emptying the bottle together.

Remus tried to get rid of his thoughts about Tonks, not knowing that she had the exact same problem.

But thanks to the wine they eventually got more relaxed.

Sirius really seemed to be right because whenever Tonks looked at Remus he hastily looked away as if he felt caught and a hint of red flushed his cheeks.

"Well then, I'll be upstairs if you need me...feeding Buckbeak...listening to loud music," said Sirius winking and left the two alone.

"You look tired, is everything alright, Dora?" asked Remus gently.

"Yes, my neck's just aching from all this paperwork recently. Maybe I should take a warm shower," she said rubbing her neck and shoulders.

"Good idea, I could massage your shoulders afterwards...if you want," he said and mentally slapped himself because this clearly wouldn't make it easier for him.

"Sure! I'll be upstairs then," she replied and left.

_Shit, shit, shit! That means I'll have to get my shirt off! Thank Merlin I can take a look in the mirror in the bathroom before...oh no, that makes it even worse! Damn!_, thought Tonks as she walked up the steps.

.

_Shit, shit, shit! That's the most stupid idea of the day, you idiot! You'll stare at her like an owl and she'll think you're a pervert. What am I supposed to do now?,_ thought Remus at the same time.

When Remus entered her room a few minutes later he could still hear her bustling about in the bathroom.

He stood insecurely in the middle of her room and looked around.

Where did she keep her body oil? Oh, there it was!

Tonks had told him she rubbed her legs with it every evening because her skin got "sooo" dry in winter and Remus smiled as he remembered it.

Then another thought crossed his mind.

Maybe has wasn't the only one who was nervous?

He knew that Tonks wanted to sleep with him but he hadn't considered yet that she might be nervous about it anyway...

.

At the same time Tonks was standing in the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

Of course, she could morph herself to cover up all those things she disliked about her body, but what was the point of it?

When Remus would stroke over her skin and kiss her, her concentration would be gone anyway and she would morph back.

She sighed and thought about the moment when they had stood in her room and he had hesitantly started to caress her backside while they were kissing.

He had been so nervous and shy; he barely even dared to touch her like that...

Could it be that he was nervous about their first night, too?

Could it be that he was scared, too, that she might not like something about him or what he did?

Biting her lower lip she looked at the pretty underwear she had taken from her room.

If the content wasn't amazing than it should at least be wrapped up nicely.

And so she put on her pyjama shorts and a baggy pullover and left the bathroom.

.

Remus flinched as she opened the door.

And suddenly Tonks was just as nervous again.

_Could it be?,_ they both thought at the same time.

Then suddenly a soft smile flashed her lips and infected him with it.

She slowly walked up to him and snuggled against his chest while he wrapped his arms around her smiling.

"Why are we worrying about it if we both want it?" she said hitting the bull's eye.

"I don't know, I just don't want to rush anything, you know..." he mumbled into her hair.

"You don't, Remus! But then...this means that you find me attractive, right?" she asked sheepishly.

"Of course, Dora! You have no idea how much I have to pull myself together sometimes. You're beautiful! Everything about you..." he said smiling and stroked over her "love handles".

"Well, then there's no bar to my massage then," she said smiling and sat down on the bed with Remus at her heels.

Yet he clearly saw that she was hesitating once again before she pulled the hoodie over her head and revealed a, in Remus' eyes, flawless back.

One or two birthmarks adorned her light skin which was only covered by her purple bra.

She looked at him over her shoulder with a shy smile and was more than relieved to see a beaming smile on his face.

.

Remus breathed a small kiss on her shoulder and the he started to massage her tired muscles.

He was anything but an expert but anyone could have felt this tenseness with oven gloves.

When he eventually stroked over her back with his flat hands she exhaled appreciatively.

"Thank you!" she said grinning and turned around to kiss him. When she stood up to get her pullover again she noticed the way he looked at her body.

With amusement she watched his fascinated look until he realised himself that he was actually staring at her.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." he mumbled and his cheeks turned deep red. "It's just...you're gorgeous, Dora! How can you have any self-doubts looking like this?"

He carefully placed his hands on her sides, almost as if he was afraid he might break her.

"Thank you my wolfie," she said beaming and couldn't bite back a laugh as he screwed up his face at his nickname.

"What have I done to deserve you?" he asked smirking.

"You know that I have a soft spot for your scars," she said grinning and looked up at him.

His face inched closer to hers and he started to kiss her.

She leant against his chest and completely forgot that she was barely wearing anything.

Remus however stifled a twitch as her boobs pressed against his shirt and she giggled quietly.

.

"Don't you think this is a bit unfair?" she said winking and started to unbutton his shirt.

Remus breathed heavily as he looked down at her hands incredulously.

Sure, she had already unbuttoned his shirt several times...but never in lingerie

Only half a year ago he wouldn't have dared to dream that one day he would be in this situation with such a wonderful woman.

After she had brushed the shirt off his shoulders he pulled her closer again and they started to kiss again.

Their kissed got even deeper and Remus' felt even warmer until his hands eventually wandered down her sides and on her backside where they started to play around with the waistband of her pyjama shorts.

He interrupted the kiss and looked at her with his best puppy eyes and a crooked smile.

It almost seemed like she was hesitating for a second but then she smiled and covered his neck in gentle, lingering kisses.

Remus couldn't bite back a little growl and gently let her shorts fall to the ground, revealing a matching, purple panty with black lace decor.

Stunned by this sight he was even more surprised when she suddenly pushed him towards the bed and he fell back as the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed.

With a mischievous on his lips he looked up at her and her sight sent pleasant chills up and down his spine.

The warmth in his chest slowly spread through his waist and in between his hips, where it would stay for a while...

"Wait a second," he said and reached out for his wand to summon some candles which created a soft and warm atmosphere in the dim room.

.

Mumbling something that sounded like "little romantic" Tonks lay down next to him and he immediately started to cover her neck in kisses and gently stroke her waist.

Her hand stroked his chest until it slowly but surely wandered over his sides and down to his lower belly.

He flinched and tensed up at her touch, dangerously close to his waistband.

His heart skipped a beat and he held his breath as her hand brushed against his belt and searched its way along his groin and into his pants.

Her fingertips gently caressed his warm skin and traced the path of hair leading down from his bellybutton while she enjoyed his reaction and placed lingering kisses on his neck.

He eventually realised how stunned he must look like and smiled at her apologetically, nearly sheepishly.

"Like that, hm?" she purred temptingly and his sheepish smile was replaced with a mischievous grin.

Giving in to the urge to touch her, his hands found her soft skin again but she gently pushed them away and proceeded to open his belt and get rid of his pants.

_Did I do something wrong?_, he thought scared and his emotions were reflected on his face.

But Tonks already grinned reassuringly and turned to his, now pants-less, body again.

Remus eventually let his head sink down on the mattress with a little, growling moan, while she caressed his skin and kissed his neck, her hand wandering down his body again.

He bit back a moan as she reached his middle and his own hands finally found her waist.

.

He reluctantly pushed her hand away from him and rolled over her.

With a surprised smile she looked up at him.

With careful movements and then more and more confidently he stroked her skin and placed a path of kisses from her neck down to her chest.

His hand found her back and as if by magic he opened her bra at first try.

She looked at him with a faux-approving nod and giggled quietly.

Great...now she'll think I'm good at this...it was sheer luck!, he thought.

Once again he looked at her as if to get her permission before he gently kissed her now naked skin.

Now it was Tonks' part to bite her lower lip as his hand stroked down her stomach and under the purple fabric of her panty...

"Are you sure you took your potion?", he asked a few minutes later between two heavy breaths.

"Yes, Remus, I'm sure," she laughed. "Did you change your mind about this?"

Tonks thought she might have seen an amber haze in his eyes as his worried expression was replaced with a wide smile.

"I'd be crazy if I did!" he growled grinning and rolled over her.

.

The candles' wax had already dropped onto the cupboard as they moved apart breathing heavily and sweaty but with a happy smile on their lips.

They lay on their sides, heads resting on their bent arms, and looked at each other with love glazed eyes while steadying their breath again.

Remus gently covered them with a blanket and stroked her cheek with his fingertips, so softly it nearly tickled her.

"This was-"

"Amazing!" finished Tonks his sentence with a wide grin.

"Yes, it was..." he said with a loving smile and lifted his arm invitingly.

She didn't waste any time and snuggled up to his chest.

He gently stroked her waist, hips and legs and placed a kiss on her nose.

"Was I too rough?" he asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

"No, don't worry! It was perfectly fine," she mumbled exhausted and kissed his stubbly chin.

And so they just lay there cuddling and smiling for the next minutes until Remus raised his voice again.

"Darling?" he asked and the word had left his lips before he could have thought about it.

But she already looked up at him with a beaming smile on her lips.

"You never said that before," she said softly.

"And I can stop it again if you don't like it," he replied insecurely.

"No! I like it...sounds great when you say it. What did you want in the first place?" she whispered and nestled up to his chest.

Remus hesitated for a few seconds but then he had made his decision.

"I actually just wanted to ask if you're tired and want to sleep...but there's something else I have to tell you...I actually wanted to say it the whole time," he said with a hoarse voice and she tilted her head curiously.

She thought she knew what he might be getting at, but she wanted to hear it from him...

"I love you Dora. You're the most wonderful woman I could imagine and I promise you I will do anything to make you the happiest woman in the world, too," he whispered and watched every single movement in her expression.

She looked up at him with love filled eyes and gently touched his nose with her own.

"I love you, too, Remus! I'm already happier with you than I've ever been with any other man. I don't care what other people may think about you. For me you are the most handsome and loving person in the world and I'm less afraid of the future now that I have you. I love you."

Their lips met for a long, lingering kiss and Remus doused the candles.

Skin to skin, with their legs entwined and his nose nuzzled into her soft, pink hair they fell asleep...


	21. Christmas tree

**Hello everyone! *group hug***

**I hope you all had a nice week and are looking forward to an even better weekend now :) **

**I just finished this chapter so forgive me if there are any grammar mistakes ;) But of course you can tell me if there's anything bothering you or if you have any suggestions! **

**I already flooded you with fluff last chapter and this one's a rather fluffy one, too. But don't worry, it's not that sticky-sweet-fluff, more like a happy, funny chapter with a little foreshadowing of something more serious. **

**On top of that there's a small twist concerning Ben. I'm curious what you think about it and the chapter in general! Feel free to tell me what you liked/disliked, I appreciate every review and you really make my day if you leave a short comment :3 **

***handing out hot tea and chocolate cookies***

**Enjoy! **

**PablosGirl**

**PS: I will upload a series of christmas-themed oneshots. I won't be able to make an Advent-calender with 24 oneshots, but I decided to upload four oneshots, one on each Advent sunday. I already have the fourth one and I would gladly read your suggestions for topics like, for example, baking christmas cookies or building a gingerbred house. Of course they'll be set at Grimmauldplace and feature our two favourite Marauders and a pink-haired witch ;) **

**PPS: I just remembered that there's a little scene/idea in this chapter that I've seen/read several times in films or children's books. I do not intend to steal any ideas. I just thought it would suit our dear Tonks ;) You'll se what I mean.**

danadanaBATMAN: aaw, I'm glad you liked it :) I think you'll like this chapter, too. It's not quite as cute, but it's one of my favourite chapters of the whole story. Enjoy and tell me what you think about it :3

remusdora: Yay, I'm happy you liked it :) I was a bit afraid it might be too...well, how do I say it...erotic?! :D I know, that's the wrong word, but I don't know how to say it either ;) Have fun! *ruff woof* *tail-wagging*

the394thdauntlesscake: Thank you for your feedback! I know, it was a bit over the top concerning the fuff... ;) Of course, you're right. It's also called Animagus in German...I think I must've read Animagic somewhere else and it somehow stuck to my brain. I'll correct it sometime! I hope you like the next chapter better :) Enjoy!

Riecke: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I always thought of Tonks having some self-doubts from time to time, too, because Remus rejected her at first and because he was older and smart and so on. I totally agree! Sirius is absolutely right and I somehow have hope that this pursuit for thinness will slowly change in our society. And yet I'm afraid that women will never stop criticising themselves, I know that from myself ;) Anyway, Christmas is coming! Chocolate, wohooo! :D And now to your remark concerning the grammar (**to the others: don't worry, you won't miss anything but two Germans discussing this evil thing called English punctuation**)

Ja, das Problem hatte ich am Anfang auch! Ich hab es zuerst nämlich falsch geschrieben, nämlich so wie im Deutschen, also: "Sirius ist ein Idiot.", sagte Remus. Ich hab es dann bei der Seite des Oxford Dictionary nachgeschaut und so wie ich es jetzt schreibe müsste es stimmen, also: "Sirius is an idiot," said Remus. Man schreibt wohl keinen Punkt weil der ja hinter dem "said Sirius" steht. Ausrufe- oder Fragezeichen aber schon. Ich war mir auch mit den deutschen "doppelten" Gänsefüßchen unsicher, aber das ist laut der Seite zwar unüblich aber nicht falsch. Und faul wie ich bin hab ich das dann dabei belassen, weils mit der deutschen Tastatur leichter ist ;) Allerdings finde ich dieses "said Sirius", "said Remus" usw. immer noch ein wenig hakelig und klingt in meinem Kopf so Deutsch :D Naja. Soviel zur Abhandlung über die fiese Englische Zeichensetzung. Gut aufgepasst! :) Bin immer offen für konstruktive Kritik!

Danke, freut mich, dass es dir bisher so gut gefällt! Hoffentlich bleibt es so ;) Viel Spaß mit dem nächsten chap!

* * *

When Remus awoke the next morning a wide smile spread on his lips.

And as he slowly opened his eyes he realised why.

Tonks was lying next to him on her stomach, her fingertips gently caressing his skin...his scars, to be precise.

He almost flinched again...she, the beautiful, young woman, next to him, the scarred man.

But then he saw her smile and melted away as he realised she was lovingly watching her own fingers trace over his skin.

"Morning wolfie!" she said without looking up.

"Good morning," he growled happily and grinned as he remembered the reason for his sore muscles again...

"Did you sleep well?" she asked winking and sat up, covering her naked body with the blanket she wrapped around herself.

For a second Remus was relieved he was covered with a blanket, too, but this shame quickly vanished and Tonks snuggled up close to him.

A pleasant, warm feeling spread through his whole body as he felt her skin against his...her chest, her belly...

Lost in thought she started to stroke his stomach.

.

"What are we going to do today?" she eventually asked.

"Well, I'd suggest we stay in bed..." he said smirking. "But I'm afraid we can't let Sirius buy the Christmas tree alone. He's insane, you know? He'd come back with a tree of four metres!"

Tonks just giggled as an answer, kissed his nose and got up.

He watched her naked backside with a small grin on his face.

"Hey!" she protested laughing and quickly put on her clothes. "I'll just quickly go to the bathroom, then I'll make us breakfast."

"Okay," he said and could see the kitchen burning in front of his mind's eye.

But his worries were unfounded because the table was already set up and nothing smelled burnt as he entered the kitchen a few minutes later.

The only thing missing was Tonks herself.

"Hey there, Don Juan..." snapped Sirius' voice him out of his thoughts.

"Keep it to yourself," said Remus, trying to sound seriously, but the grin was glued to his face this morning.

"Alright, alright! Was it nice?" asked Sirius with a mischievous grin and sat down.

"More than that...I think she might be the best decision of my life," replied Remus with a crooked smile and sat down, too.

"I'm really happy for you, Moony, you deserve it. And she deserves an honest guy like you. Be good to her!" said Sirius more seriously.

"I will," replied the Werewolf and nodded.

.

Tonks joined them soon and when they had already been sitting there for quite a while they received a spontaneous visitor.

"Hey, Ben! What are you doing here?" asked Tonks cheerfully and stood up to embrace him.

"I just wanted to talk about something with Remus, but I can come some other time if it's inconvenient now," he said a bit intimidated by such cheerfulness early in the morning.

But he quickly put one and one together and understood the wide smiles on Tonks' and Remus' lips.

"No, don't worry! Take a seat, do you want to eat something?" asked Remus and pulled back a chair for him.

"No, I already ate something, but a cup of tea would be great," smiled Ben.

He hadn't been around other people for quite a while and so this kitchen seemed even friendlier and happier to him.

"Is it something personal?" asked Remus in a hushed voice.

But Ben just shook his head and put the Daily Prophet in front of him.

He had marked some of the smaller news at the bottom of the page and Remus started to read concentrated.

Child kidnapped, young man killed by, presumably, wild animals, twins disappeared...

With worry lines on his forehead he looked up at Ben, who knew what he was thinking.

"That's just what I thought when I read it..." he sighed.

Their worried voices had made Sirius and Tonks sit up.

"Greyback's recruiting again," said Remus seriously and looked into Sirius' eyes.

Why can't everything be fine for once?, thought the Animagus.

It had been Tonks' first evening in the Order when Remus had returned from his mission at the Werewolves, exhausted and depressed...back then Greyback had kidnapped children, too.

.

"There's nothing we can do for now, Remus. We should wait until tonight and talk about it at the Order meeting. But how come it's happening more frequent again?" said Ben.

Suddenly Tonks inhaled sharply and made the three grown men around her flinch.

"Palmer! His position is still vacant! We're already trying to distribute the Werewolf-stuff to the whole Aurors' office but it's just too much on top of our general work," explained Tonks.

"Greyback probably got scent of it and sniffs his chance," growled Remus.

Everyone was dwelling on their own thought for the next minutes.

No normal person would have thought about Christmas in that situation...but Tonks had always been more optimistic than everyone else.

"There's nothing we can do now, right? So...how about we go get our Christmas tree anway?" she said with a careful smile.

Ben was the first one to smile back at her.

His age was about in between the two marauders and Tonks.

And so he had still some of her young cheerfulness, which seemed to have disappeared with Remus and Sirius and only surfaced when they were together and forgot about their worries for once.

"Alright!" said Remus and Sirius almost simultaneously.

"You'll come with us, won't you?" asked Tonks Ben with a wide grin.

"I, well..." he hesitated.

"Are you celebrating Christmas with your family? If not you're invited to celebrate with us of course! It's probably going to be an Order Christmas this year. Kingsley, Mad-Eye, the Weasleys, Harry, Hermione..." said Sirius.

"That's really nice of you and, well, if you really don't mind, I'd be happy to spend Christmas with you," said Ben smiling.

.

Half an hour later the four were walking through the cold and windy London.

Well wrapped up, their scarves up to their noses, they strolled through the Christmas tree sales.

At least Sirius and Tonks were clad in all kinds of gloves and other knitwear.

Ben was neither wearing a scarf nor gloves and Tonks hadn't been able to talk Remus into wearing a warm beanie either.

The two Werewolves were just less sensitive for the cold.

And when big, white, fluffy snowflakes started to fall from the sky, colouring it in a soft white, the Christmas feeling was perfect.

Only Remus didn't really cheer up.

"Hey, is everything alright?" asked Tonks in a hushed voice as she walked next to him and linked arms with him.

"Hmm," he just grunted and looked up at the falling snowflakes.

"It's about the kids, isn't it?" she guessed right.

"It just makes me so sad and angry at the same time...because there's nothing I can do," he sighed and looked at her again.

She suddenly stopped and knitted her brows.

It almost looked as if she had tears in her eyes.

.

"Remus, I know you'd do anything to stop this. And I also know that you're going to get yourself in danger if you go back there...because you always stand up for what you believe. And I really love that about you. But I'm afraid Dumbledore will send you back soon and it just scares me," she said quietly and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you Dora...but you have to trust me, I'll take care of myself. And I won't be alone next time. Come on, I'm sorry, I'll try to forget about it until tonight," he said with a soft smile and gave her a quick, shy kiss on the forehead.

She beamed at him while more and more snowflakes got caught in her pink hair and his cheeks blushed got a little bit redder.

He's so shy, she thought amused and took his hand to walk over to Ben and Sirius.

"Oh no, I told you," said Remus sighing as he spotted Sirius and the gigantic tree he was looking at.

Tonks just giggled and waited for the show to begin.

Ben seemed to know what was about to happen, too, and winked at her with a wide grin on his lips.

"Remus! Remus, listen to me! Before you say anything: look at that thing! See how green it is? And the smell! Do you smell this? You just _have_ to smell it!" babbled Sirius so Remus wouldn't even get the chance to say something and waved his hand, which smelled like fir-needles, around in front of his face.

"Sirius! This thing is at least four metres high! Where are we even supposed to set this? In the staircase?" replied Remus desperately.

But he secretly knew that he had already lost this fight before it had even started...at the exact moment Sirius had spotted the tree and put his hands on it.

.

"Bullshit! We've got high ceilings! Right, Tonks? Our ceilings are pretty high, how much might that be? Five, six metres?" babbled Sirius on.

"Three, Sirius! Our ceilings are three metres high!" replied Remus annoyed with his eyes closed and buried his face in his hand.

Bon and Tonks however followed their discussion like spectators at a tennis match and with beaming smiles on their lips.

"Yeaaah, maybe. That's not that important anyway," said Sirius casually and flourished his hand.

Remus dropped his hand from his face with an incredulous expression and lifted both his hands in a helpless gesture, just to let them sink again resigning.

The two spectators burst out into laughter.

"We can still shrink...err, shorten it," said Sirius and quickly corrected himself as he remembered that they were in Muggle-London.

In a last, desperate attempt Remus raised his voice.

"Sirius, are you really going to buy a huge tree, just to saw it off at home? Seriously?"

"Come on, Moony! This tree is just perfect! The bigger the tree, the more space for decoration! And we somehow have to arrange Tonks' pink baubles and garlands so we won't go blind looking at it," grinned Sirius.

"Hey!" laughed Tonks.

"Pink?" asked Remus desperately.

"It will look great, believe me!" she said with a grin.

"Do what you have to do, I stand no chance against you anyway," said Remus smirking.

.

They just wanted to leave with their monstrous tree pressed in a net, when Tonks spotted some small trees in pots next to the counter, all of them with red tags on them.

"What kind of trees are those?" she asked Ben but one of the bearded sellers had overheard it and answered.

"Those are the ugly ones no one wants to buy. They're cheaper but it seems like nobody wants them anyway, so they'll be taken away tonight," he said and turned to some new customers.

"What?!" said Tonks and looked at the three men with an upset expression.

Remus already knew what was coming...

"Don't worry, Dora, they don't just throw them away. They're given to the zoo as food for the elephants," he reassured her and was touched by her save-the-trees-attitude at the same time.

"But this one's rather adorable, don't you think?" she said and walked towards the smallest of them all, which was not more than one metre high.

With a resigning sigh he looked down at her and raised his eyebrows.

"Only five pounds! And it's the exact copy of the big one...just smaller. I'll put it in my room," she said with the tree in her arms and smiled up at him. "Now we have our first, own Christmas tree."

With a big smile he turned to Sirius and Ben and helped them carry the huge tree.

.

When they returned home Sirius freed the tree from the plastic net and set it up in the living-room.

And since he was not really a good handyman he littered the floor with fir-needles and wood chippings in no time.

Remus eventually fled from the room because he couldn't take the sight of Sirius handling a saw anymore and prepared some hot chocolate in the kitchen.

But in the end he had to admit to Sirius that the tree looked great.

Its smell reminded him of the Forbidden Forest and its green brought some nature into the dull, even though already much more comfortable, living-room.

His Dora had gone upstairs to bring her little tree into her room.

At the thought of it a gentle smile spread across his face and his thoughts wandered off to the present he kept in his drawer upstairs.

He had never been surer that it would be the right thing to give it to her.

And yet he wanted to give it to her in private.

On the one hand, because the other, who still didn't know about them, would be confused about him giving something like that to her.

And on the other hand, because he wanted to have her reaction all to himself, even though he was a bit nervous about it.

A little later they were all sitting on the sofas and armchairs in the living room and stirred their hot chocolates.

"Okay, I have to admit, you're really good with chocolate, Moony" said Sirius munching happily.

"And he's got great taste in women, too," added Ben and smiled at Tonks over steaming cup.

To his own surprise Remus just smiled without feeling the slightest hint of alert or envy.

But why?

And Sirius already sat up in his armchair.

"Why can you allow yourself such comments? Anyone else would have already been mauled by our little wolfie here," asked Sirius confused but as he used his nickname a mischievous grin flashed his lips.

"Puppy license?" joked Tonks and winked at Ben apologetically.

But the latter only looked into his cup and bit his lower lip.

Did his cheeks just get a bit redder?

"Well, maybe because Remus has got a good intuition and knows that I'm no competition..." mumbled Ben awkwardly and forced a smile.

"No competition? Why should you...oooh!" said Tonks and it dawned to her while Remus just lifted his eyebrows in modest surprise.

Only Sirius still didn't get it.

"What? What 'oooh'?" he asked completely puzzled and looked from on to the other.

"Yes, I'm...into men," said Ben sheepishly.

"Okay," said Remus casually and made Ben exhale if relief.

"Does that mean I finally have someone around here to talk about men?" joked Tonks cheerfully.

"Well, if you want to, sure," replied Ben with a relieved laugh.

Sirius was the only one who seemed to be thrown off track by his confession.

"Don't worry, I won't harass you in your sleep," joked Ben, feeling a little uncomfortable again.

"How could I miss that? That's the only thing bothering me...my younger self would be ashamed of me," said Sirius eventually and grinned at Ben who returned it.

Tonks had snuggled up against Remus' side in the meantime and enjoyed his hand gently stroking her hair.

At this exact moment, none of the four would have felt better somewhere else but in front of the crackling fire in number 12...something unimaginable only a few weeks ago.


	22. forced separation

**Hello everyone! :3 *group hug***

**I hope you have a great day and I hope I can make it even better!**

**But first things first: Happy Birthday remusdora! I wish you all the best and that you spend a wonderful day! *throwing confetti and handing over a huge chocolate cake* **

**I'm sorry it's not a happy chapter on your birthday, but there's a small Dora/Remus moment in it. :)**

**Thank you all very much for your reviews for the last chapter! It's always good to know what you think about it and it helps me alot! **

**But for now: Enjoy the chapter and I would be happy to read your opinion about it! **

**PablosGirl**

Is A Bell X3: I just loooved your comment! :D I think Berius is a great name! But who knows, maybe it's not like that...let's keep the suspense up ;) *wink wink* Enjoy the chap!

danadanaBATMAN: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! I think Ben and Dora make good friends, don't they? ;) Enjoy!

remusdora: Once again: Happy Birthday! :D I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I know, there were no hints at all that he was gay, but I'm glad you don't mind. We'll see about Sirius, who knows what will happen? But you can be sure to read a lot of drama in the future ;) Thank you for your suggestions! The one oneshot I already wrote has no explicit pairing in it at all, but since I'm not planning on writing them in a coherent way it's no problem! :) Would it be okay if I change the cookies for a ginger-bread-house? Because Tonks is already baking cookies in one of the next chapters in this story. But don't worry, there'll be a big mess and romance anyway :) Enjoy the chapter!

Aereal: Thank you for your feedback! :) I'm glad you liked it and I hope you keep reading!

* * *

Due to Kingsley's, Mad-Eye's and Arthur's shifts at the Ministry the Order meeting had been cancelled and postponed to the next day's afternoon.

But even after Tonks had returned from work Remus was still as nervous as he had been in the morning.

She would have loved to wrap her arms around him and kiss him as she spotted the pensive Werewolf sitting in the kitchen.

But the room was already filled with the other Order members, who didn't know about their relationship yet.

Instead she just sat down next to him and Sirius and Ben.

Ben seemed lost in thought, too.

A little later Albus Dumbledore entered the room and everyone instantly got quiet.

"I'm glad to see you all again safe and sound! But no matter how close the holidays are, there are some things we just can't ignore," said the headmaster and his eyes briefly focused on the two Werewolves.

.

According to custom Moody and Kingsley started with their reports from the Ministry but nothing important or alarming had happened there.

Voldemort's return was officially still just a rumour and everyone was constrained to ignore Dumbledore's word and not believe him.

After Bill and Charlie, who was staying in England over the holidays, had talked for a few minutes, Dumbledore raised his voice again.

"Well, as I already said, there are a few things we have to bring into focus. On the one hand the holidays are approaching and people forget about their caution. Look out for dark figures on your guards. And on the other hand you probably all read the news about several children being kidnapped recently. I think two of us already bothered themselves about it," he said and looked at Ben and Remus over his half-moon-shaped glasses.

They exchanged a glance and then Ben began to talk.

"We're afraid that Greyback's behind it. The injured people had carnivorous bite wounds. And the children were all kidnapped near to a forest and match Greyback's favoured age group. We assume he got scent of the currently vacant Werewolf-position in the Auror's office. He sees his chance and that's not dumb at all, unfortunately."

.

A pensive silence ensued in the kitchen while Molly tried to calm her heart beat at the thought of children being taken away from their parents so short before Christmas.

Dumbledore kept his eyes on the tabletop and nodded.

"I'm sorry I have to do this so short before Christmas but I'm afraid there's no other way than to send you into the underground," he eventually said and looked at Ben and Remus who both just nodded silently.

"We already thought that," said Remus with a hoarse voice. "When should we leave, Albus?"

"The sooner the better. Tomorrow morning would be good if you can arrange that," answered Dumbledore in an apologetic tone.

Another silent nod.

"But they'll be back for Christmas, won't they?" sounded a voice Remus didn't expect.

With a look of expectancy Molly turned to Dumbledore.

"Well, I can't guarantee it. The two probably know best when it's time to leave. But since the next moon is before Christmas it could be possible, Molly," he replied evasively.

For the rest of the meeting the mood was gloomy.

Remus looked over at Tonks from time to time but she managed to keep her mask and act as if it was not any more special to her than to anyone else.

But he felt that the news of his soon departure saddened her.

.

When everyone had gone and he had planned his departure with Ben Remus stood up and prepared some tea.

"I'm so sorry, Dora," he said sadly and turned around to her.

"It's not your fault! It's important and you and Ben are obviously the best choice for the mission. I'm just afraid for you..." she mumbled and looked at her fingernails which scratched over the tabletop.

He gently brushed a strand of pink hair from her face and sat down next to her.

"Why are you afraid?" he asked and she looked at him with an unbelieving expression.

"Are you serious? I'm just afraid something might happen to you! What if you get hurt? What if you don't come back?"

Tears filled her eyes and Remus quickly pulled her into his arms.

"Shh, you mustn't think like that! I've always returned in one piece in the past. And I'm not alone anymore. I have Ben, we'll take care of each other. I always used to have an eye on the kids when I've been there. So this won't make Greyback suspicious. How about we drink some tea and make the best of the evening?"

"Okay," she replied and sniffed.

.

Only in a wide shirt and her underwear Tonks snuggled up to Remus, who was just in his boxers, too, in her cosy bed.

"I'll do anything to come back with all my limbs attached, alright Dora?" he mumbled and kissed her hair.

"I hope so! Christmas will be shit without you...sorry. I was so looking forward to decorating the tree with you and Sirius and all that," she said sadly.

"Hey, darling!" he said turned her face to his.

Her nickname raised a smile on her lips.

"No one said that I won't be here on Christmas. I want to be back as soon as possible, too. I'm so used to falling asleep next to my snoring, pink-haired Auror," he joked.

"What? I'm not snoring!" she protested grinning.

"Oh yes, you do! But only if you're lying on your back...and just very quietly...it's actually pretty cute," he said smiling.

"I'm snoring? That's impossible! What's next? Do I fart in my sleep, too?" she laughed.

"I decline to answer that question," he grinned mischievously.

"Oh no!" she whined and covered her face with her hands.

"Oh come on, at least you don't poke anybody with your erection while cuddling in the morning!" he laughed.

"That's right. And I don't growl when we have sex, either," she laughed and he blushed.

"I growl?" he asked with a crooked smile.

And suddenly the look in her eyes changed and she shifted even closer.

"Oh yes, my little wolf," she said grinning, stroked his stomach with her flat hand and eventually slid it in his boxers.

He moaned in surprise...and it really sounded like a growl.

"Just you wait!" he said with a husky voice and rolled over his giggling girlfriend...

.

A big smile was on his face when Remus woke up the next morning.

But his good mood quickly vanished as he remembered that he would be back at the Werewolves in a few hours.

He looked at Tonks who was still sleeping tight next to him.

Partly spellbound by her sight, partly sad about his departure, he got up and went down into the kitchen.

"Hey, you were suddenly gone," said a sleepy Tonks as she stepped through the door a little later.

"I just wanted to make breakfast...and not think about the next days," he said and smirked at her.

"Hmm..." mumbled Tonks and looked sad again.

While they ate their toasts and drank their tea Remus remembered something important and he couldn't hold it back any longer.

"Dora, just to let you know...if I'm not back again on Christmas, then you'll get your present as soon as I return, okay?" he said.

"You shouldn't get me anything, Remus!" she protested and lowered her cup again.

"But I wanted to. And it's important to me...but if you didn't get me anything, then you're right, then it would be unfair..." he implied casually.

Tonks' blushed face disappeared behind her cup and Remus grinned triumphantly.

.

"I'm afraid I have to go..." said Remus half an hour later.

"I'll wait with the tree decorations as long as I can! Just be careful! I don't want to lose you...I love you!" she said and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck.

He stroked her back with a loud sigh.

"I love you ,too, Dora!" he said and took her face in his hands.

Their lips met for one last, lingering kiss, then Remus took his bag and left.

It was snowing again...

He instantly disapparated and appeared in a thick which felt uncomfortably familiar.

The last time he had been here he had saved Ben's life and ran for his own while Deatheaters were shooting curses at him.

"Not the best memories, hm?" sounded Ben's voice suddenly next to him but Remus didn't flinch.

"No, not really," he replied briefly.

"Not easy to leave home for you right now, is it?" asked Ben understandingly.

A growling noise was Remus' only answer.

.

After they had walked through the forest for about half an hour they reached a clearing in front of a huge rock face with tunnels dug into it...their home for an indefinite time.

"Let's see who we have here!" barked a rough-looking man mockingly. "Back again, eh? When will you daydreamers finally realize that nobody want you out there?"

It was one of Greyback's closest followers and thus high in hierarchy...

"Just tell us if there's any empty cave, Finch!" growled Remus back.

"Over there! You'll share one, not too much luxury for you two...the new ones are next to you by the way. Greyback will be glad to hear that there's someone looking after the brood now," laughed Finch barking and left.

As soon as he was out of sight, Ben and Remus exchanged a meaningful glance.

"He knows exactly we wouldn't leave them to their fate..." growled Remus as he put down his bag and kept his eyes on the dusty ground..

"What do you think, should we go over to them? How long have they been here already? A week?" said Ben worriedly.

Remus nodded and they left their cave.

.

Tonks returned from work in the early evening and sat down on her bed in her cosy clothes and a cup of tea.

Then someone knocked on her door.

"Come in, Sirius," she said saddened.

"Hey, shift's over?" said Sirius and forced a cheery smile.

"Yeah..." she sighed.

"Hey, what's wrong coz?" he asked although he knew exactly what was wrong and so he sat down next to her.

"Well, Remus is gone, that's what's wrong. I don't know where he is, I don't know how he's feeling and I don't know when he'll be back!" she said sadly and leant against Sirius' shoulder.

"I miss him, too," mumbled Sirius.

"We spent all day with each other and I fell asleep in his arms every night and woke up in them every morning! I just want him to be here...safe and sound...but that's impossible. That's not fair, Sirius. Christmas will be soon and he's not home..." she said desperately.

"I know and you're right...but try to imagine how these children must feel. And that's the only reason he and Ben are there right now. You know Remus! Others are always more important to him," said Sirius wistfully.

Tonks just sighed into a big yawn.

"You should get some sleep...maybe this will help," smiled Sirius and nodded towards her chair.

Remus' crinkly shirt was still hanging over it and Tonks face lit up as she got up to grab it.

She buried her nose in the fabric and inhaled...it still smelt like her Werewolf.

"Do you think he left it here on purpose?" she said beaming at Sirius.

"Well, he usually doesn't leave his stuff lying around everywhere," grinned Sirius winking and stood up.

"Good night, Tonks! See you tomorrow!"

"Night!" she replied and smiled at the shirt in her hands.

.

When Remus and Ben entered the dim cave next to them they were welcomed by three frightened faces.

It was an older boy, about thirteen years old, and two twin boys, about 8 years old.

After a few seconds the older boy stood up, stepped in front of the twins and looked into Remus' eyes.

"What do you want?" he asked with a trembling voice.

"Nothing. You don't have to be afraid of us, I promise," said Remus with his calm voice and something in it seemed to convince the boy.

"I'm Remus Lupin, this is Ben Thompson. We live in the cave next door. You haven't been here long, right?" he added.

"No. I've been here for ten days, Cole and Leonard for 8 days. My name's Philipp. What do you want from us?" asked Philipp again suspiciously.

"We don't mean you any harm. We're worried...did anyone look after you so far?" asked Ben gently.

"No, we just got something to eat and this cave. That's it. They watch out for us so we won't run away...why should we trust you? Aren't you Werewolves, too?" said Philipp hesitantly.

The two twins looked at them with big, fearful eyes and Remus felt a physical sting as he saw how much they were frightened by them.

"Yes, we are...but not all of us are like Greyback. Not everyone wants to join Voldemort. Some here just need a place to live because society rejects them," explained Ben and instantly regretted it because one of the twins started to cry.

Remus wanted to hand him a tissue but Philipp stepped in between his hand and Leonard.

Remus looked up in worry.

.

"Philipp, did anyone lay hands on you? Did they hurt you? Or something else?" asked Remus and swallowed hard.

"No, not yet..." said Philipp frightened.

Remus and Ben both exhaled deeply.

"Listen, I know it's hard to believe us and trust us and we don't demand it from you. But we won't harm you and we'll take care that nobody else does, alright? Full-moon's approaching and, well, you'll need our help," explained Remus.

Eventually Philipp sat down on the camp bed again and tears started to fill his eyes.

The twins were crying too while holding each other.

"We want to go home!" they whined.

Remus felt awful and it tore him apart to see the children like this.

And Ben didn't look any more optimistic either.

"Hey, shh! We'll take care of you, okay? As long as we're here nothing will happen to you, alright?" said Ben and the two men hesitantly sat down on the camp bed next to the children.

"We'll try to get you out of here, we just have to find a way, okay? But keep that to yourselves, no matter what, alright?" said Remus and Ben looked up at him in confusion.

How could he tell the kids something like that if he wasn't even sure they would manage?

But Remus was sure of at least one thing at that moment:

No matter the cost, he would bring those kids back home.

He wouldn't let them be raised by Werewolves...he wanted them to have the same chances Dumbledore had given him years ago.

Even if it meant that he would become Greyback's enemy for good and all...


	23. ornaments and a plan

**Hey there! *group hug* **

**I hope you had a good Monday! :)**

**Here's the new chapter for you! It's pretty long and there's both in it, darker parts and cheerful moments. **

**I really hope you like it and get in the right Christmas mood (I'm already in ^^)!**

**Everyone who finds the unintended Sirius Black pun will get an extra, virtual cookie next chapter ;) **

**Enjoy!**

**PablosGirl**

JKStorm501: Thank you very much for your feedback! I'm glad you liked it :) Chances are good you'll like this one as well! ;) Enjoy!

danadanaBATMAN: Oh no! We're all gonna drown in your tears! *throwing tissues and chocolate at you* :D I'm glad you liked it and I'm pretty sure you'll like this one, too! Enjoy the chap!

the394thdauntlesscake: Thank you for your review! I'm happy you liked it! :) Yes, you're right. I meant the position Palmer used to work in. I wasn't sure how to describe it in English ;) Enjoy!

remusdora: Yay, you liked it :) We'll see if he comes back in one piece, but I can already tell you that Tonks is worried about the same thing ;) Enjoy the chap!

* * *

Christmas was coming nearer and nearer and the thought of Remus not being at home during the holidays caused a sharp sting in Tonks' chest every time it crossed her mind.

On top of that she knew that he would have to spend full-moon outside in the cold, surrounded by unscrupulous lunatics.

And so she got up from her kitchen chair and took a look at her supplies in the pantry.

The Weasleys would come over on the 25th and the thought of Molly's holiday dinner made her smile.

_If I only cooked as good as Molly. If I ever run the house, Remus will starve to death!_, she thought.

But Remus wasn't picky, as long as there was chocolate in the house everything was fine...chocolate!

Tonks had made her decision, emptied her cup of tea, burnt her tongue, put on her coat and left the house.

.

At the same time Ben entered the cave of the children, who were still sleeping.

Remus was there, too, wrapped up into his coat and with his legs tucked up to his chest.

He seemed lost in thought, blowing his breath into the cold air in small clouds and watching them dissolve into thin air again.

"Morning," mumbled Ben and snapped him out of his musing.

"Morning," replied Remus, cleared his throat and looked over at the children so he wouldn't have to look at Ben.

"Remus, are you sure about that thing with the potion?" said Ben, trying to convince him, but now much more careful than last night.

Remus sighed and eventually turned his face to Ben again who had sat down next to him in the meantime.

"I'm sure about this. Ben, it's their first transformation. If they..." said Remus, glanced at the boys again and lowered his voice. "If they don't take the potion their pain will be unbearable! I just can't watch that happen! And they need your mental support! I've made my decision."

"And how do you want to get them out of here? If we smuggle them out we'll never be able to return," whispered Ben and looked at him expectantly.

"I know...there's only one possibility. They have to flee on full-moon. Nobody will get suspicious if we don't take them out for the hunt because they already tried to run away. And your lower in rank than me, so it's just logic that you have to stay here and guard them. I don't know if everyone is going to hunt but the worst ones will for sure. I'll explain it to the boys tonight; they need to know what to do. They have to run away once they're transformed. You have to follow them, act like you are chasing them, just in case someone watches you. Just run away as fast and far as you can, okay?" explained Remus and looked at Ben firmly.

"Okay, but what about you?" asked the other.

"I will go hunting with the pack...I know, just listen to me! Once the pack starts to spread I'll turn around and try to follow you. We'll bring them home. As far as I know, their homes are just a few miles away from each other," whispered Remus and looked at the sleeping twins.

"Do you think they'll be able to do this?" asked Ben with doubts colouring his voice.

"They just have to...somehow. I'm just worried about Cole," said Remus and stood up.

He carefully stepped closer to the bad on which the boys were sleeping.

Cole was smaller and thinner than Leonard and he had coughed since Remus and Ben had arrived at the pack.

"We have one day left. I just hope he won't get sick until full-moon," mumbled Remus pensively...

.

Tonks entered number 12 again and walked up the stairs, her arms packed with paper bags and her cheeks red by the winter cold.

"What are you up to?" asked Sirius amused as the young woman climbed the stairs heavily breathing.

"Crafting!" said Tonks cheerfully and pushed her door open with her back.

"Okay..." replied Sirius and raised his eyebrows.

He was glad Tonks had found a way to forget about her worries at least for a few hours.

And so he walked down the stairs with a little smile on his lips until he looked at two heavy curtains on the wall.

He got slower and stopped on the last step of the stairs, the smile vanishing from his lips.

One could think there was a window behind those ugly curtains, but Sirius knew better.

Those curtains hid the portrait of his mother and suddenly Sirius felt something he hadn't felt in a while.

Claustrophobia, which threatened to choke him...

The walls suddenly seemed so much closer, the ceiling lower and everything was covered in a dark veil.

But then his shifty eyes met something else.

Tonks' purple coat was hanging on a hook, still covered in melted snowflakes...

Her bobble cap and matching scarves were hanging there next to it...

Sirius could almost feel the warmth radiating from her clothes.

Remus' light, brown cloak, patched up here and there and worn off by all those years...

The brown-yellow-striped beanie Molly had knitted for Remus, who never wore it because it was simply too warm for him...

And as he thought of the day they bought the Christmas tree together, which felt like an eternity ago, a relaxed smile flashed his lips.

Tonks had tried to convince him to wear it for minutes because she had been shocked that he didn't want to wear a hat, scarf or gloves.

In the end Remus had been too annoyed and agreed to wear a scarf.

.

With a little less weight on his shoulders looked Sirius back at his mother's portrait again and went into the kitchen.

He immediately noticed Tonks' dirty dishes from breakfast which was still on the table.

_Remus would have already cleaned this up with a sigh_, thought Sirius smirking.

And so Sirius took the plate and cup and placed them in the sink, something very unusual for him.

His eyes wandered over the counter top.

Remus' huge pack of hot chocolate mix from Honeydukes...

Tonks' opened bag of salt and vinegar chips which she, according to herself, just didn't finish because of her strong mental self-control...

The cereal-box with the children's picture puzzle Tonks always solved with great enthusiasm...

The walls shifted away, the ceiling rose.

Sirius made himself a cup of tea and walked into the living-room with a small smile on his face.

And eventually the dark veil rose, too.

The living-room looked completely different from the Salon it had formerly been in his childhood.

The old family portraits were gone, the family-tree-wall hanging had been removed with Moody's help and the furniture looked much more homely.

The fire didn't cast his tyrannous father's sharp shadow against the wall anymore but created a warm glow on the faces of those who often gathered around it in the evening and filled this house with soul.

There were still many bad memories clinging to its walls and they would probably never go away, but for the first time Sirius felt secure and at home.

.

It might sound cheesy but Remus and Tonks filled this house with life and warmth.

Their love seemed to radiate off them and onto Sirius, who never had felt like a fifth wheel.

Quite the opposite...

To see Remus so happy, that he had finally let a woman into his life and allowed himself a bit of luck, made Sirius happy, too.

Not to mention Tonks' beaming smile every time she looked at Remus.

Yes, Sirius could say that he was kind of happy.

After all those years in Azkaban he was still haunted by nightmares and insomnia very often.

He tried to keep his fear of the darkness a secret, but he couldn't escape the feeling that Remus knew about it.

But even if, he wouldn't mention it.

Remus was way too polite to confront him with something embarrassing.

Sirius smirked and took a last sip of tea before he left the living-room again.

.

"Boys, come here! The feast is served!" joked as he called the boys to the front part of the cave.

"Very funny," mumbled Cole and sat down.

"Here, drink this," said Remus casually and handed them cups with a steaming liquid inside.

"Urgh!" uttered the twins after they had gulped the potion and Philipp screwed up his face.

"But now there's barely anything left for you!" stated Leonard as Remus raised the little bottle to his lips.

"Don't worry about me," said Remus after he had emptied the bottle at one swallow.

Ben watched him sceptically from the side.

Remus looked stressed and tired and his eyes often got lost in the distance.

"How long is it until full-moon?" asked Cole sheepishly after the two men had kept silent for a while.

"Tomorrow night," replied Remus curtly and Ben nodded.

"I'll be with you the whole time. You don't have to be afraid. Remus will join us later, too, right Remus?" added Ben.

"What? Yeah, sure. We'll explain everything to you later," he mumbled and stood up to leave the cave.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Leonard confused when Remus had left.

Ben just shrugged his shoulders but he secretly suspected what was dragging him down.

.

At number 12 Sirius was knocking on Tonks' door.

"Yehees, come in!" she warbled without turning around.

"What's going on in here?" asked Sirius with a confused smile as he entered the room and found Tonks leaning over something at her table.

"I'm doing crafts!" said Tonks grinning and eventually turned around to Sirius.

As proof she lifted her hands which were splotched with glue.

"And may I ask what you are crafting?" laughed Sirius and stepped next to her.

"Some ornaments for our little Christmas tree. Look!" said Tonks excited.

There were several small ornaments made of cardboard and paper on the table which Tonks seemed to have painted herself.

Small stars, gingerbread men and smilingly panting wolves.

"Well, fits our dear Werewolf perfectly, if you ask me," laughed Sirius.

"You think? I did my best to make them look good!" said Tonks and looked up at him.

"I'm sure he will love it. And what's this?" asked Sirius and reached out for a small pile of miniature chocolate bars.

"Hey! Paws off! Okay...take one. But only one! They're for the tree, too, I wanted to hang them between the ornaments," said Tonks smiling.

"You're aware that they won't stay there very long, aren't you? I give Remus two days...at most...if he pulls himself together."

"Yeah, I know," laughed Tonks and looked gently at her work.

"And what about the top?" asked Sirius and Tonks jumped up to grab a box from under her bed.

It contained a star-shaped, pink, glittery Christmas tree topper.

"Great, huh?!" said Tonks and beamed enthusiastically at him.

"Merlin, Remus will be...beside himself with joy when he sees it," snorted Sirius with laughter.

"I like it and I wanted to do you a favour by not putting in on the big one downstairs. That's why it'll get its own, special place here," explained Tonks and put the topper back in its box.

"Tonks...what are we going to do about the tree? The Weasleys, Hermione and Harry should be here sometime tomorrow. And Molly will probably want to decorate it," said Sirius carefully.

Tonks' bright smile vanished and she looked saddened again.

"Let's just wait until the day after tomorrow, alright? Remus will probably come back after full-moon and I don't want to decorate without him. And Ben would probably be happy, too. It didn't sound like he had many friends or family either to celebrate with," said Tonks pleadingly.

"Okay, you're probably right. I just hope that they're fine," replied Sirius pensively.

"I miss him...I miss them both," said Tonks quietly.

"Me, too. Ben's a good guy. I was wary at first when Remus brought him here. But he's got a good knowledge of human nature," said Sirius sighing.

.

And suddenly a strange smile flashed Tonks' lips.

"Tell me, Sirius...why were you so shocked when Ben told us he's gay?" grinned the pink-haired witch.

"Well, I already explained it. I was Hogwarts' biggest womanizer at the time. Just call me the stallion of Hogwarts, if you want..." said Sirius grinning mischievously while Tonks looked at him as if she was questioning his sanity.

_More like Hogwarts' jackass,_ thought Tonks and smiled unwittingly.

"I just always thought I could tell if a guy is gay..."

"Does that mean that you also had-" said Tonks but Sirius quickly interrupted her.

"What? Nooo! Me and shagging a man? That's bullshit!" sputtered Sirius.

"Hey! Okay! No need to get explicit!" said Tonks laughing.

"Well, good we clarified this," said Sirius and left her alone again.

.

In the evening the evening the boys were sitting in their cave with Ben and Remus and ate their meagre meal.

"Oh no..." sighed Philipp as he watched Remus preparing three cups of potion again.

"There's no help for it, the drinks are on me," said Remus trying to cheer them up a little.

"That doesn't make it taste better..." said Leonard but emptied his cup dutifully.

Only Cole kept it in his hand without even sipping and stared to the ground.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked Remus and tilted his head.

But Cole just sniffed and Remus realised that tears were filling his eyes.

"Hey, Cole, tell me what's wrong," he said gently and Cole eventually started to cry.

"I don't want this," he sobbed.

"Hey, it's okay, what don't you want?" asked Ben.

"Everything," replied the boy and Leonard wrapped his arm around his brother.

"What do you mean?" asked Philipp.

"Just everything! I don't want to drink this, I don't want to be here. I want to be at home with mom and dad and I don't want to be a monster!" sobbed Cole even heavier.

Philipp turned to Remus with a helpless look.

"I know Cole and it's okay that you're sad. But listen to me, okay? You have to drink your potion, it will help you, believe me. See, Ben's drinking it, too..." whispered Remus.

"And I really don't like it either," said Ben winking and screwed up his face.

"If everything goes well you won't have to be here much longer," said Remus.

"You've got a plan, right?" asked Philipp seriously.

"Yes, that's why I wanted to talk to you. When you've transformed tomorrow night, Ben will still be with you. I'll be in our cave, it's safer like that. You'll recognize us in wolf-form, don't worry. But it's very important that you do what I tell you know, alright? Good. Ben will tell you when to start running and then you'll just run away into the woods as fast as you can, okay?" explained Remus.

"But they'll catch us again!" said Leonard.

"We are responsible for you, Greyback practically condemned us to it. But apart from this the most dangerous and strongest wolves will go hunting with Greyback. You'll only start running when they've already been away for a while. Then only a few Werewolves will be here anymore and they're all not nearly as dangerous for us," added Remus.

"And where will you be?" asked Cole, who had calmed down a bit again.

"I'll go hunting with them. At least I'll leave with them. I'll try to turn around unnoticed and follow you. But you won't wait for me, under no circumstance, got me? No matter what happens, you'll stay with Ben once he caught up with you. Then you'll head home, Ben knows the approximate way."

"But it's so far away! How are we supposed to do this?" asked Leonard desperately.

"You'll be on the way all night, yes. But trust me, you'll have much more power as wolves. Did you understand everything? You'll wait for Ben's signal, then you'll start running and act like your running away from him. But stay together! Once you're out of sight he'll catch up with you and you'll run away together. I'll catch up on you and we'll bring you home. Okay?" ended Remus his explanation.

All three boys nodded.

"But what about you? What if-" said Philipp.

"Don't think about me. If I don't catch up on you, you'll keep running anyway," interrupted Remus firmly and made clear that everything was said.

.

Ten minutes later Remus got up and wanted to leave the cave when Ben stopped him again.

"How are their parents supposed to know that they get their children back? There'll be several Werewolves in front of their houses!" said Ben whispering.

"I'll see to that," replied Remus briefly and left, but not into his own cave but into the forest.

A little later, two silver, nebulous wolves floated through the windows of two snow covered houses and two couples stared at them in shock while an unknown voice started to talk unbelievable words.

"You don't know me and I know that you have no reason to believe me. But your children will be back home tomorrow night. They'll be wolves and accompanied by wolves, but you don't have to be afraid. Make sure you see us coming and lock the house with ban and shield spells afterwards. Contact Kingsley Shacklebolt from the Ministry's Aurors' office as soon as possible. Just contact him, no one else! You must not contact the Beast Division under no circumstance! This would bring your kids in great danger! Please trust us."

.

Remus sat down in the snow under a tree.

It was already dangerous enough to send out a Patronus so close to the Werewolf camp, let alone the content of his message.

But his thoughts wandered off to Grimmauldplace again and he rubbed his eyes.

He was risking so much this full-moon.

Ben's nervousness indicated that it might be too much...

What if Greyback's followers noticed him disappearing in the middle of the hunt and demanded answers?

What if they weren't just hunting for rabbits or deer?

What if the Ministry decided to hunt Werewolves this full-moon?

What if he was unable to keep his mind and hurt someone...or worse?

Remus swallowed hard and lifted his wand again.

His eyes were burning and his head aching as he casted his mind back on his first kiss with Dora under the old oak tree.

"Expecto patronum!" he said firmly and another wolf broke from his wand, watching him carefully with his head lowered.

"I love you!" whispered Remus and thought of Tonks while he looked into the wolf's shimmering eyes.

The animal turned around and ran away until it vanished into the night sky.

Remus got to his feet again with a loud sigh and went back to his cave.

.

But the Werewolf camp wasn't the only place at that time which was filled with anxiety and stress.

A small group of people, among them a completely distressed Harry, had gathered in Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts.

Tonks, however, was startled by a silver, hazy wolf floating through her window.

On the one hand she was relieved about a sign of life from Remus, but on the other hand she knew how unusual it was for him to contact them during his mission.

And when she heard the short but plain message and the wolf dissolved into thin air, she hurried down the stairs to look for Sirius.

She eventually found him in the kitchen and immediately told him about it.

"Sirius, I just received a Patronus from Remus and...what happened?" said Tonks worriedly and hesitated as she saw something silver vanish in front of her cousin.

"Dumbledore will send the kids here any minute. Arthur was attacked at the Ministry. Harry saw it in his dream. They brought him to St. Mungo's," explained Sirius seriously and clenched his teeth so that Tonks could see his jaw muscles tense up under his skin.

"What? But who? How is he?" asked Tonks completely shocked.

It was all just too much information for her right now.

"Dumbledore didn't tell me more. Molly went to St. Mungo's with Bill. The children should stay here for now," said Sirius with a black look. "You said something about Remus, what's wrong?"

With deep worry lines on his forehead he looked into her eyes.

"I don't know, he just said 'I love you', that's all! What does that mean? He usually never contacts us! What if something happened to him, Sirius?" said Tonks and got more hysteric from word to word.

"Hey, just calm down," he said and pushed her into a chair.

Tonks worries were everything but absurd.

Were those his last words to her?

Did he get into a fight and was fatally injured with no prospect of help?

Sirius shook his head, trying to get those images out of his mind.

"Christmas is only a few days away, Tonks. And he loves you. Maybe he just misses you and he knows he has to stay there over Christmas. And he has to be careful, this probably explains his short message," he said to Tonks but talked more to himself.

"A-and he still has Ben," said Tonks but couldn't keep her voice from trembling.

A few minutes later the children arrived and they stayed in the living-room with them until Molly sent them the message that Arthur was out of danger again.

Their worries about Remus, however, remained...


	24. escape under the full moon

**Hello everyone! :3 *group hug***

**Sooo, here's the next chapter! It's pretty long, so grab a fluffy blanket and a hot cup of chocolate or tea. **

**There are a few things I have to say about it first. **

**Number 1: I know that there are different opinions about the question whether wolves wag their tales like dogs and what it means. I only used it once in this chapter and I used it as a sign of happy excitement. Ever seen a dog lower its head and wag with its whole butt? That's what I had in mind when I wrote the scene ;) (Philipp does it once)**

**Number 2: I vaguely described Tonks baking my favourite Christmas cookies in this chapter. So if you are interested in mega-chocolatey cookies filled with nougat and apricot jam, dipped in a thick layer of milk chocolate...then feel free to tell me and I'll send you the recipe! Believe me, they are awesome. A lot of work to bake them, but worth every minute and all the sticky fingers and kitchen supplies ;) **

**Number 3: I'm sure there was something else I wanted to remark, but it's after midnight and I'm tired and I forgot what it was. So if there's anything bothering you in this chapter or anything that sounds odd to you, just tell me ;) **

**Thank you all so much for reading this story and taking the time to review it, it really means a lot to me! :3 **

**Enough boring author-talk for now! Enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think about it! **

**PablosGirl**

remusdora: I already told you this, but anyway: thank you, I'm fine! I hope you, too! Thank you for sending me a message with the rest of your review ;) I hope you like this chapter, too. Enjoy!

JKStorm501: Yay! Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoy it and I'm curious what you think about the next (two) chapter(s)! Enjoy! :)

danadanaBATMAN: Woohooo! :D Thank you so much, I'm happy you enjoyed it! I hope you enjoy this one, too! :)

* * *

The next morning broke and the mood at number 12 was still more than gloomy.

Harry was very quiet and although the Weasleys were thankful he didn't dare to look into their eyes.

Without his dream they probably would have found Arthur much later and it would probably have been too late then...

Sirius watched his godson with a worried expression.

He knew exactly that something was bothering him, something he hadn't told them yet.

And then there still was the worry about Remus...

Sirius tiredly rubbed his face with his hand and let out a long sigh.

Tonks was sitting at the other end of the table quietly and withdrawn into herself and bit her lower lip.

Her sorrow about Remus nearly drove her mad.

_Maybe he isn't even alive anymore, died alone, bled to death in the snow_, she thought.

She suddenly shook her head to get rid of the thought and the pictures it brought to her mind.

Hot tears filled her eyes and she quickly stood up to leave the kitchen so the others wouldn't see it.

Sirius eyes, however, followed her...

.

At the same time Remus was freezing and watched over the boys in their cave.

The three kids had curled up on one of the beds because it was warmer this way.

They were still fast asleep and so Remus tucked up his legs to his chest and wrapped himself up in a blanket.

He was shivering and thought about the last night.

Had it been a mistake to send Tonks the patronus?

She wouldn't know what to make of it and was now probably worried about him...but he couldn't help it.

He just had to tell her one last time, just in case...

Remus swallowed hard as a tired Ben entered the cave at the same moment.

"Hey..." growled Ben sleepily. "Blimey, it's cold in here! I'll make a fire."

But as he didn't get any reaction from Remus and turned around, he noticed him staring blankly at the opposite wall.

"Remus? What's the matter?" asked Ben with open worry in his voice.

"Nothing, I'm just freezing," mumbled Remus and shifted a little on the camp bed. "Tonight, when you're back at the head quarter..."

"What?" asked Ben confused because Remus had stopped in the middle of the sentence.

He sat down next to him, watching his friend with an intent look and knitted brows, and casually pulled his blanket up so it covered Remus' neck.

"Nothing, forget about it," mumbled Remus and looked away.

"Remus...is there anything I should tell Tonks?" asked Ben carefully.

Remus turned around as he heard his knowing tone and Ben could see all his sorrow mirrored in his eyes.

"I sent her a Patronus..." whispered Remus bitterly and looked into the flames of the magic fire.

"What did you tell her?" asked Ben tensely.

"That I love her," replied Remus whispering and the words almost got stuck in his throat.

"That's all?" asked Ben alarmed. "She'll-"

But the look Remus sent him silenced him immediately.

"You wanted to hide your fear from me, right?" whispered Ben and looked at him in disbelief. "Remus, we'll make it. You'll get out of there. You won't kill anything, for sure! We'll be back home soon. You thought this through, didn't you?"

His voice sounded more and more pleading.

"Just bring the kids back home safely, okay?" was everything Remus said before he tightened the blanket around his body.

.

Hours passed and sunset approached threateningly.

Ben had accepted Remus' reticence and tried to ignore the fact how dangerous Remus' plan actually was.

Poaching and killing Werewolves were hunted down by the Ministry without exception, no matter who they were, no matter where they were and no matter why they were hunting.

They did not think twice before ending a life with several silver bullets.

And there were still Greyback and his followers.

They might already be dangerous and willing to use violence as humans.

But on full-moon and in the pack, their ferocity increased tenfold.

Anyone who objected the rules or just behaved suspiciously became prey.

And Remus had always been a thorn in their side...

.

Back at Grimmauldplace someone was knocking on Harry's door.

He was alone at the moment because Ron was downstairs with his siblings who all tried to get their mind off the horrible incident.

Sirius opened his door.

"Hey," he said and dropped onto the bed next to him.

"Hey," replied Harry.

"It's not your fault, Harry, you know that. Molly's more than thankful for your dream. If not for you, then-"

"Then Mr. Weasley wouldn't be at St. Mungo's right now!" completed Harry his sentence.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius and looked at his godson with knitted brows. "Harry, it was just a dream, it wasn't you who attacked Arthur, you just-"

"I WAS the snake, Sirius! I bit Mr. Weasley! And in Dumbledore's office, just before we used the port key, I wanted to attack Dumbledore, too!" yelled Harry desperately.

Sirius just looked at him in disbelief for a few seconds before his head started to work.

"What?" asked Harry impatiently as he saw Sirius pensive expression.

"It's just an assumption, Harry, but I'm afraid Voldemort might have a stronger connection to you than you think. Did your scar hurt recently?" said Sirius quietly.

"Yeah, but-"

"I think he can control your thoughts to some extent. Maybe only when you're asleep and helpless. But this could change. You should learn to close up your mind. I'll talk to Dumbledore. Don't worry for now, alright?" said Sirius and squeezed his godson's shoulder.

Worried and relieved at the same time, because he had finally told someone of it, Harry was left alone again.

.

To sun already started to set in the later afternoon and so Remus gave the boys their last cup of detested potion.

The mood was more than tense and the boys' faces mirrored their fear from what was approaching them unstoppably.

And so the two men tried to swallow their own worries and fears even more and cheer the boys up.

Yet eventually, the moment had come...

Remus and Ben exchanged a last meaningful look and Remus stood up with a loud sigh.

"What's wrong?" asked Cole with big eyes.

"I should go, boys," said Remus with an apologetic look and gestured to the increasing darkness in front of the cave.

Thick snowflakes were falling from the sky again.

"Already?" asked Philipp unusually nervous. "Do you, I mean...do you really have to go?"

Remus was touched as he looked at the kids.

Maybe they were the only ones they trusted at the moment, yes.

And maybe their desperation left them no other choice.

And yet it gave Remus a good feeling that the boys seemed to trust him and Ben and that they obviously had started to liked them.

"He'll make it," said Ben with an oddly crooked smile.

"But you'll catch up, won't you?" asked Leonard and tucked at Remus' sleeve to get his attention.

"Pssst! Yes, I'll catch up as quickly as I can!" reassured Remus. "Don't be afraid, okay? Ben will look after you and I'll be back soon. Remember what I told you and listen to Ben, then you'll be back home soon. See you then."

Remus bit back the urge to ruffle their hair.

He had really taken the boys into his heart.

And so he just lifted his hand, smiled one last time and turned around to leave.

Just when he wanted to step out of the cave, he heard footsteps behind him.

"Take care, alright?" whispered Ben barely audible.

His brows were knitted and his hands tensely clenched in fists.

"I will. You, too! Don't lose the boys," replied Remus briefly.

The two men stood in front of each other for a few moments, unsure what to do, until Ben took the initiative and pulled him into his arms.

Remus returned the strong hug, patted his back and left the cave with one last nod.

.

In the meantime Tonks had started to bake chocolate cookies she wanted to surprise Remus with.

And she was actually pretty relieved that Molly spent most of her time at the hospital.

Like that she neither had to plead to wait with the tree decorating, nor did she have to display her poor kitchen skills in front of her.

She had already been standing in the kitchen for two hours and was waiting for the cookies to cool down so she could finish them.

Everything in the kitchen was sticky with chocolate-cookie-crumbs, hot apricot jam and melted nougat.

"Busy in the kitchen, eh?" asked Sirius pointedly casually as he entered the kitchen.

"Doing my best," sighed Tonks.

"You're still worried, hm?" asked Sirius and leant against the counter with his arms crossed.

"Of course, don't you?" she asked confused.

"Sure, of course I am...you know what I can't get out of my head? I mean, I'm really scared for Remus, but what about Ben? They wanted to take care of each other..." said Sirius pensively.

"I know what you mean and it's making me crazy. Tonight's full moon, what if...Merlin, I already pictured every single horror scenario in my head!" replied Tonks, coated one cookie with jam and one with nougat and pressed them together.

Sirius stepped next to her without another word and started to help her.

.

The kids were sitting in the cave tensed up and Cole's whole body was trembling while they waited for the moon to rise.

Ben was sitting at the cave's entrance and was fumbling around with little twigs to release his own tension.

Then it was time.

The clouds parted and the snow white ground was bathed in silver moonlight.

Every single muscle in his body tensed up, he felt the oncoming change in his bones, the prickling on his skin, which would soon be covered in fur.

He reflexively fought against it but eventually forced himself to let the transformation happen.

Ben turned around to the boys, who looked at him with big, fear-filled eyes.

"Don't be afraid, just let it happen, it's easier that way," he said and uttered a stifled cry of pain before he transformed completely.

Now the boys started to transform, too...

In the other cave Remus lived through an old, well-known horror.

The safety provided by the wolfs-bane-potion was gone and so he helplessly fluctuated between pure panic of the monster inside him and the damage it could cause, the unbearable pain and the will to keep his conscience alive.

When the first beams of moonlight hit his skin, it started.

Bones cracked, hairs pricked through his skin and he howled with pain.

He felt like he was losing his mind.

It felt like an eternity since he had to endure such pain.

His stifled cries echoed from the cave walls and mixed with those of the other Werewolves...

Then it was over and everything went black.

.

The wolves were already gathering outside when Remus came back to his senses.

And yet everything was different.

Was he even there?

His mind felt numb while his body felt more energetic and powerful than ever...he wanted to run, howl and hunt.

_But Ben!_

_The boys!_

The wolf shook his head unwillingly, torn apart between his instincts and Remus' last bit of self-control.

Eventually he trotted out into the snow to the other wolves.

"See who we have here. Lupin condescends to hunt with the pack. Don't feel like babysitting anymore, eh?" growled Finch while the others bared their teeth to dirty grins.

It was always bewildering for Remus how natural Greyback and his followers acted in their wolf form...almost as if they hadn't even changed.

But it was probably the case that they were closer to the wolves in their human form...

"Thompson can see to that," growled Remus with one last effort.

"Let's hunt!" sounded Greyback's loud growl over all the others and he lifted his head to the sky to let out a loud howl.

One after another, the wolves joined in and so did Remus.

He wanted to follow his instincts a little bit.

Just a little bit...what could happen?

.

The howling was the first thing the boys heard when they regained their conscience.

They anxiously looked around the cave but just saw wolves which looked oddly familiar.

A huge, dark-grey wolf was standing in the cave's entrance.

Ben was looking at the pack outside and back at the boys so they wouldn't run away in panic.

But the potion seemed to work.

"Ben?" whimpered Philipp.

The wolf nodded and kept observing the clearing.

The wolves had gathered around Greyback's rocks and ran into the woods, away from the caves...

"Just a little longer...then we'll start. I just want to make sure that they're far enough away," whimpered Ben and answered the question in their eyes.

A tense silence filled the cave until Ben walked up to them on padded paws.

For a few seconds there was no sound but the silently fluttering snow and suddenly Ben growled "Go!".

The young wolves, still almost puppies, started to run past the other caves from which some shy eyes followed them.

Philipp was running in the back so none of the twins would be left behind.

After a few moments they heard an angry growl behind them and the sound of big paws running through the snow.

Ben had taken up the chase...

.

Remus was running through the forest with the other wolves.

It felt good...right.

The pain from his transformation seemed to have vanished and he felt on top of the world.

Dozens of big paws drummed on the snow-covered forest floor which was shining silvery from the moonlight.

Remus unwittingly lifted his head while running to look at the silver ball in the night sky...so perfect, so mesmerizing.

A howl escaped his throat and the others joined in.

He wasn't alone...

.

Several kilometres away, a small figure with mousy-brown hair was sitting behind a window, arms wrapped around her tucked up knees, and looked up at the full-moon.

The salty traces of tears were shimmering on her cheeks.

.

Remus ran and ran.

The adrenaline was rushing through his veins as the pack slowed down and the forest got lighter.

The wolves followed Greyback in a slow trot while he led them onto a clearing

And the closer they got, the more obvious it was that they were approaching a village.

They could hear the nervous cackling of chicken and the smell of sheep reached their noses.

The snow's crunching under their paws seemed like deafening noise now.

Suddenly a glaring light illuminated the court of the farm they had reached in the meantime and snapped Remus out of his instinct-ridden trance.

What was he doing here?

Where was he?

A door creaked and a figure stepped into the court, armed with a shining wand.

Remus stumbled back in panic and heard the pack around him growl.

He hectically turned around and ran back into the forest aimlessly.

Behind him he could still hear the whizzing sound of curses darting through the cold air and the angry growls of the wolves; then several loud bangs and footsteps in the deep snow...

He didn't know how long he had been running when he eventually gave himself a break and slowed down into a steady trot.

The wind was freezing cold as he lifted his nose into the air and sniffed nervously.

He must have missed the camp because its smell reached his nostrils only faintly.

But then he noticed another smell, only vaguely, barely sensible, even for the wolf.

It was Ben.

And Remus started to run again.

.

Several miles away from Remus, Ben and the boys had already slowed down.

The small twins were tired and Ben was thankful for it because there was still no sign of Remus.

He should have already caught up on them by now...

Again and again, Philipp looked up at him with a questioning look.

But Ben couldn't do anything but lift his nose up in the air and sniff for Remus...so far without success.

Time was getting short and the twins' hometown was only a few minutes away now and so Ben hurried them along.

He was supposed to bring the kids back home safely and he would do it, whatever the cost.

Soon the edge of a small village came in sight and Ben made them stop, even though Cole and Leonard were suddenly in a hurry.

All the windows were dark, no wonder at this hour.

They slowly went around the village through the forest's edge until they noticed a small house with still dimly illuminated windows.

Ben almost ran away instinctively when a dark silhouette appeared in one of the windows while Philipp unwittingly raised the hair on his neck.

Cole and Leonard, however, started to run without any hesitation.

Ben nervously looked around while they slowly followed the twins and approached the house's backyard.

The backdoor opened and warm light flooded the snow-covered ground.

Ben stopped dead in his track and stared at the man who looked at them with his wand raised in his hand.

Cole and Leonard wanted to run to him, all the more when the fear-ridden face of a woman appeared over his shoulder.

But Ben stepped in between them with a quiet growl, making the man aim his wand at him immediately.

.

"Stay here," he whimpered at Philipp who obediently cowered down in the snow behind the fence.

Ben slowly walked to the house, his head lowered in nervous observation.

He smelled the fear of the people in the door.

Only five metres away from them he stopped and, gently but firmly, pushed Cole and Leonard to the front with his nose.

All reluctance seemed to have fallen off of them and they ran towards their parents.

Their father stepped to the side and let them in, where their mother crouched on the floor with tears running down her face to embrace the puppies.

The father just nodded at Ben nervously, his wand still aimed at him, and already wanted to close the door, when the puppies ran back to Ben again.

They waddled around him and lifted their head to sniff his nose with happy whimpering.

With one last look, he gently pushed them towards the door again, turned around and ran away into the dark forest with Philipp.

And although the boy was still pretty fit, he stopped and turned around from time to time.

"Come on now!" whimpered Ben to hurry him up again.

"He's not coming, right?" asked Philipp and looked at him, waiting for an honest answer.

But Ben didn't reply and just started running again.

A little later they approached another house.

Its windows were, oddly enough for this hour, well-lit.

Three men were standing outside the house and illuminated the night with their wands.

"Over there!" yelled one of them and pointed at the edge of the forest where Ben and Philipp had just appeared.

Ben immediately stopped timidly and watched the men from a safe distance.

Philipp stayed next to him, not sure what to do.

"Is...is this Philipp?" sounded one of the men's voices.

It was his father.

"Who is this?" growled Ben warily, still not taking his eyes off the men.

"My father and my two uncles," replied Philipp happily.

And so they slowly trotted to the house.

Philipp naturally walked around something invisible in the deep snow and so Ben imitated him.

The young wolf wagged his tail and whimpered quietly as he walked up to his family while Ben stopped a few metres away.

Now that they got their child back they might attack him...he was a grown Werewolf, a danger to the whole village...

"Thank you," whispered Philipp's father and looked into Ben's eyes.

Then suddenly a dog started to bark angrily inside the house and obviously ran into a closed door with a loud bang.

Ben flinched, turned around and ran directly towards the forest but after a few metres he felt a stinging pain and dropped to the floor.

Something had wrapped around and trapped his front paw.

"He stepped into the barbed wire!" yelled one of the men and made a few steps into his direction.

But Ben quickly got on his feet again and growled warningly, making the man stop abruptly.

He hectically tried to move his injured paw and eventually freed it from the wire.

The sound of a cracking branch made everyone stare into a dark forest.

A small spark of hope had emerged in Ben but it had only been a deer.

And so he just followed his instinct, lifted his head to the sky and uttered a long, sad howl.

Philipp joined in while the three men just stared at them in amazement.

Ben dropped his head again and already wanted to run away, when suddenly a quiet but distinct howl sounded from the distance.

"Remus!" thought Ben and he ran off...


	25. christmas at home

**Hey everyone! :) *group hug* **

**I know it took me quite long to upload this time, but I had to rewrite a passage of this chapter and I found it quite hard to find the right point to split it up. **

**At first I wanted to upload it as one single chapter but it was just too long (16 word pages...). So now I made it a double chapter. ****But don't worry, I'll upload both together, no nasty cliff hanger or anything ;) **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it even though there are some dangerously fluffy parts in it again...what can I say, it's Christmas!**

**I'm quite sure I forgot to remark something...so if there's anything bothering or confusing you, feel free to ask/tell me! :) **

**I'd love to hear your opinion and whether you liked it or not, your review makes my day a bit better :3**

**Here you go! *handing out cookies and hot chocolate***

**PablosGirl**

**PS: I'm sorry, I totally forgot about it because we don't celebrate it here, but I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)**

Areal: They taste amazing, too, you'll see :) Enjoy!

remusdora: Tadaa, here it is! You accio worked! ;) Sorry it took me so long, but you'll get two long chapters as a reward. Thank you very much once again for your long review. It always makes my day when I read your reviews :) I hope you enjoy the chapters!

danadanaBATMAN: Thank you very much! I like to torture my readers with nasty cliffhangers...muhahahaha! ;) But to make up for it you get two looong chapters now. I hope you like them, enjoy!

JKStorm501: Yay, I'm glad you liked it! :) Thank you very much for reviewing. I hope you enjoy these chapters, too!

Riecke: I'm going to answer both of your reviews now: Thank you very much for reviewing! Okay, I'll wait for your reviews next time...ooooor I'll upload anyway ;) Feels crazy writing to you in English, even though I know I could tell you all this in German much easier. But hey, it can only improve my English :D I'm glad you liked the chapters, especially this one little scene between Tonks and Sirius. You and your sexy Remus, ts ts ts :D I hope you enjoy these two chapters, too!

Guest: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it and I hope you'll like the next ones, too! :)

* * *

Ben had to be near the twins' hometown again when Remus' smell slowly but surely got more and more intense.

And so they kept running towards each other until they got eye contact.

Ben greeted him in happy excitement but he also noticed some changes on him.

Remus was much rougher than usual and the look in his eyes was somehow hectic and wild.

Again and again he lifted his nose and sniffed, looking back at the village.

But Ben quickly pushed him into another direction and they started running again.

They didn't have much time left to get back to London because the sun would rise again in a few hours and they would transform back.

And they soon realised that the situation was beyond remedy; they were still too far away from the city and number 12.

When the sky started to light up, they were still deep in the forest, far away from any of the city's outskirts.

With heavy breath and their heart beat echoing in their ears they eventually cowered under some bushes.

Ben's paw had stopped bleeding but hurt even more due to the strain.

He felt like he had dozed off for a few seconds, but when he looked at his paw again he realised he was looking at his blood caked hand.

He flinched and looked down himself, solving the riddle of his sudden freezing.

No clothes were covering his human body as he sat there in the snow completely naked.

.

A careful glance at Remus told him that Remus had turned back, too.

He looked miserable, as if any power had left him.

"Remus! Come on, we'll apparate into my flat!" hissed Ben and shook his shoulder, always careful not to look deeper than at Remus' chest.

He carefully helped him back on his feet and they disapparated side by side.

Grimmauldplace was too far away now and Remus' condition made it impossible to apparate any further afar.

When the sudden warmth of Ben's flat reached Remus' skin, he came back to his senses.

He looked down himself and his cheeks turned warm.

Compared to his numb fingers and toes his cheeks felt like they were on fire.

Ben was completely naked, too, and so his cheeks turned dark red when his and Remus' eyes met.

"Come here and sit down," whispered Ben and gestured at his sofa.

Remus hesitated at first but then he gave in to his aching muscles and sat down.

He started to doze off again, when something fell down on the sofa next to him.

"Put this on, you're going to freeze to death..." said Ben, who was putting on some clothes, too, in a polite distance and with his face turned away.

"Well, I wouldn't have sat down if I knew that..." mumbled Remus exhausted after he got dressed and wrapped the blanket Ben had handed him around his shoulders.

"Don't worry about it, you're not the first naked man on my sofa," said Ben in an amused tone.

"Spare me the details, alright?" said Remus with a weak smile and looked at the younger man. "Are the kids back home and safe?"

Ben nodded, sat down next to him and wrapped another blanket around his own body.

They were dressed again and wrapped up in thick blankets, but Ben's flat had not been heated for the last days and so they were still freezing.

"Don't get this wrong now, okay?" said Ben hesitating as he noticed that Remus had started to shiver.

He didn't wait for his reaction, shifted right to his side and only a few minutes later the closeness slowly brought the wanted warmth back into their bodies

Ben was still freezing a bit when he raised his voice again.

"I was so worried for you. I already thought they would have torn you into pieces or something like that..." mumbled Ben.

"I'll tell you everything later, okay?" mumbled Remus and made a move to get up.

At the moment his memories were more than gappy anyway...

"Hey, where are you going?" asked Ben worriedly and held him back, grabbing his arm, which was quite easy with Remus' current condition.

"Back home," replied Remus quietly still shivering.

"Just get some rest first, for Merlin's sake!" said Ben blankly.

"No, I can't do this to Tonks. When I fall asleep now I won't wake up before tomorrow morning," mumbled Remus tiredly.

"Well, at least..." replied Ben mumbling. "But I could send her a message."

But Remus only shook his head and shakily got on his feet.

Ben quickly stood up, too, to support him.

"Okay, let's go," whispered Ben worried.

.

At number 12, Sirius had just entered the living-room and found Tonks sleeping on the sofa.

She was more sitting than lying while her head rested on the backrest as if she had wanted to keep an eye on the front-door.

Sirius had barely slept either and rubbed his face with his hand.

There was still no sign of life from Remus or Ben.

And so he just gently squeezed Tonks' shoulder to wake her up.

"Hey, how about you go up into your bed?" asked Sirius whispering.

"What?" mumbled Tonks sleepily.

But Sirius didn't get to answer her because at that moment the front-door opened behind his back and let in a cold breeze.

From one second to the other Tonks was wide wake and Sirius turned around to the door, too, through which two men had just entered the house supporting each other.

"Remus!" yelled Tonks and ran into the hallway, tripping at least three times on her way there.

"Hey!" mumbled the two men and turned to the stairs.

Suddenly Ben felt awfully tired.

Sirius was quickly by their side and helped them up the stairs.

They carefully brought Remus, who was pretty dizzy again and obviously still freezing, into Tonks' room.

Ben hastily covered him with a second blanket before he sat down on the bed next to him.

He was shivering himself and rubbed his cold arms with his hands.

"You'll soon be fit again, alright?" whispered Ben more to himself than to the sleeping Remus.

.

Tonks and Sirius were watching the two Werewolves worriedly.

"Ben, you should warm up, too," said Sirius worriedly and Tonks took his place.

But Ben just stood there in the middle of the room, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his hands clenching his arms to suppress the shivers, and gazed into space.

He was having shivering attacks by now and felt as if his legs would give way under his body any moment.

"Hey, come on, I'll bring you into Remus' room for now," said Sirius and steered him up the stairs.

"I'll bring you another blanket, wait a minute," said Sirius after he had steered Ben into bed.

"Thank you," whispered Ben while another shiver shook his body.

But Sirius just waved his hand around and looked at him with worried eyes.

"I just know what a Werewolf needs after full-moon," said the Animagus with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Do you?" asked Ben smiling with his eyes closed.

"Thank you for bringing back Remus in one piece. Feels good to know that you're both alive," mumbled Sirius quietly and left the room to let Ben sleep in peace.

.

Tonks was sitting on the bed next to Remus with mixed feelings and absent-mindedly stroked his hair.

Tears were running down her face when Sirius stopped in the door frame with crossed arms.

All those fears of the last days and hours suddenly had fallen from their shoulders and yet the sorrow about the werewolves' condition remained.

"He'll be okay," said Tonks and tried to smile at Sirius with tear-stained eyes.

"Of course he will. I know it's hard to see him like that, especially if you don't even know what happened. It's already been this way in our school time, month after month. We just have to be patient. His memory usually returns shortly after he has recovered," replied Sirius quietly. "I'll be in the living-room if you need me."

"Okay, thanks, Sirius," said Tonks and carefully lay down next to Remus.

When Remus was woken by a head ache in the early evening of the same day, Tonks was still sitting by his side and it was dark outside the window again.

"Hey," whispered Remus with a husky voice. "You've cried."

She looked at him worriedly and brushed a strand of hair from his forehead.

"What did you expect? I thought you were dead..." said Tonks with a weak, forced smile and tears filled her eyes again.

"Hey, shh," said Remus and made a move to sit up.

"Don't! Just relax, Remus!"

"I'm so sorry, Dora. I shouldn't have sent you the Patronus, but..."

"But?" asked Tonks puzzled.

"It was dangerous. We'll tell you everything later, alright?" he said weakly and sent her an apologetic smile.

"Alright," sighed Tonks.

For a few moments they just looked at each other before Tonks cupped his face with her hands and gently kissed him.

A sudden warm feeling spread through his body and he sank back into the pillows again with a loving smile on his lips.

"Is Ben still here?" he asked and the smile was replaced by a worried expression.

"Yes, I think he got up a while ago and is downstairs in the kitchen to eat something right now," replied Tonks and stroked his stubbly cheek with the back of her hand.

And only then he noticed the small, curiously decorated Christmas tree in the corner of her room.

"What's that?" he asked and let her help him to his feet.

"Just a little surprise for you. Wolf-ornaments and chocolate. Do you like it?" explained Tonks and beamed at him eagerly.

"And how!" he growled lovingly with a small grin on his face and pulled her into his arms to kiss her again.

.

Ben was sitting in the kitchen and absent-mindedly stirred his cup of tea.

He still looked completely exhausted and tired out.

"Already awake again?" asked Sirius as he entered the room.

"Yeah...oh, yes, I helped myself with the tea, I hope that's okay," mumbled Ben and a red haze flashed his cheeks.

"Of course! Take what you need. Everyone can eat or drink here whatever they want, don't worry about it," said Sirius smiling and sat down with a bottle of butterbeer.

"Do you need anything? We'll prepare one of the spare rooms for you. Remus should go back to his own room so Tonks can sleep in her own bed again," said Sirius winking with a mischievous grin.

"No, it's okay, I can apparate back home later," replied Ben.

"Huh? I thought you'd spend the holidays with us?" asked Sirius with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"I really don't want to cause any trouble or annoy anyone..." said Ben with a crooked smile.

"Oh come on, Sirius was already looking forward to it!" sounded suddenly Tonks' cheerful voice from the door and a big grin spread on her lips. "And you really won't annoy or inconvenience anybody. This Christmas will be everything but a private circle, anyway. We'd love to have you here with us!"

"Tonks is right. _We_ would be happy if you celebrated with us," added Sirius and shot his cousin a warning glare. "Unless you have friends or family to celebrate with, of course."

Sirius didn't know it but he had hit a tender spot, because Ben lowered his eyes and started to fumble around with his fingernails.

"No, not exactly," huffed Ben sarcastically.

Tonks shot Sirius a reproachful look but he only shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

"Err, uh...I really didn't mean to raise any unpleasant topics. I'm sorry," mumbled Sirius sheepishly.

"It's okay...you know, I actually only have you guys. I never told him, but I owe Remus a lot," mumbled Ben and stirred his tea again.

"That applies to anyone who's friends with him, "said Sirius with a crooked smile.

"I can well believe it," said Ben quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to drag you down."

"Stop talking rubbish!" protested Tonks laughing. "In a few minutes I'll turn this Christmas tree into a pink explosion and there's absolutely nothing and nobody to drag me down."

"Is Remus still asleep?" asked Sirius.

"Nope, already waiting in the living room. Couldn't convince him to stay in bed," replied Tonks grinning and went into the living-room.

.

The living room was already filled with the comfortable warmth and crackle of the fire in the fireplace and Ben felt as if he had never been caught in a cold, snowy cave for days.

Remus smiled at him as he sat down.

He still looked completely exhausted but lifted his hand from under the blanket Tonks had wrapped him up in.

"Are you still freezing?" asked Ben with quiet worry in his voice.

"A little bit...I'd be surprised if we aren't sick in a few days," said Remus smiling.

"Um, Remus, you can sleep in your own room again tonight. I'll take one of the spare rooms. I hope it was okay I got some rest in your room," hem and hawed Ben.

"Sure, no trouble at all. I mean, I've sat on your sofa naked. So I think I can live with you sleeping in my bed for a few hours," said Remus grinning but also blushed at the same time.

Sirius instantly choked on his butterbeer and gasped for breath while he turned to Ben with a bewildered look.

But the Werewolf only shrugged his shoulders and blushed.

And when Tonks saw Sirius' bewildered face she couldn't hold back her laughter anymore.

"We apparated to his flat because we already had turned back and Grimmauldplace was too far away at that time. No need to panic, Sirius!" explained Remus with a tired smirk.

"Well, now I'm relieved," joked Tonks and glanced into the hallway before she wrapped her arms around Remus' neck and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Okay, okay. But if you want me to survive this day then you should stop these revelations, alright?" said Sirius and turned to one of the boxes next to the Christmas tree.

"I better not tell him how we warmed up, then..." mumbled Ben to Remus.

"What?!" yelled Sirius instantly.

"We just sat next to each other...fully dressed, Sirius! I'd probably have frozen to death without him," said Remus with an amused smile while Sirius just looked from one Werewolf to the other.

"What's in that box?" asked Remus quickly and nodded at Tonks' ornament box.

"Well, let's see...we've got pink...pink...a little bit of light pink. Pink. Purple. Pink. Aaaaand pink," said Sirius cheerfully and Tonks punched his arm.

"Stop lying, you mutt! I also have red and green, very classical. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't zap it up with some pink-" said Tonks but was cut off by the three men.

"Uuuum..."

"I knew it."

"Oh come on!"

"Okay, okay! I got it!" gave Tonks in. "Just a little bit."

.

And so the four started to decorate, hung up dozens of ornaments and garlands, arranged the fairy lights and gave the whole room a festive look.

Tonks insisted on using all the decorations so in the end the living-room looked like in a kitschy Christmas movie.

"I made us some tea!" said Tonks cheerfully as she entered the room again with a tray in her hands.

Sirius and Ben were sitting in the armchairs and so Remus invitingly patted the sofa next to him.

After they had just sipped on their teas in silence for a while, Ben cleared his throat.

"Err, Remus. I already told Sirius and Tonks about it in the kitchen, but...I wanted to thank you," said the Werewolf with a shy smile.

"Thank me? For what?" asked Remus and looked honestly puzzled.

"Without you I wouldn't be sitting here in this warm, friendly living-room right now. In front of a decorated tree with...friends. Instead I'd be at home, where I haven't decorated anything in years because I'm the only one to see it anyway. And apart from this you've saved my neck several times now. Without you I'd still be on my own. Now I have you guys. Thank you for everything, Remus," said Ben shyly with a thankful smile.

"You're welcome...I'm happy I met you...and that you forgave me for the rather rough start into our friendship," said Remus grinning and thought back on the day he questioned Ben in the cave.

"Awww! Ben!" squealed Tonks and got up to embrace the surprised Ben.

"I'm just saying what I'm thinking..." mumbled the young man sheepishly and blushed.

Now Sirius couldn't bite back a wide grin, either.

"Do you understand why I risked so much for the kids now?" asked Remus eventually in a quiet tone.

"Yeah, I think do," replied Ben pensively.

"Oh, by the way...would you be so kind as to tell us what happened to you during the last days?" asked Sirius and raised his eyebrows.

He already sensed that he wouldn't like what they were about to tell them...

Ben and Remus exchanged a meaningful glance but they knew that they would have to tell them eventually.

And so the two Werewolves started to tell them of their first encounter with the boys and their initial distrust.

"Well, eventually they trusted us, despite the incident with Greyback. And then Remus made a decision," explained Ben and looked at Remus.

Sirius and Tonks followed his gaze, waiting for Remus to explain himself.

And so he started to talk with a long sigh...


	26. christmas at home II

**Here it goes, part two of the double-chistmas-chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy it and I'd love to read what you thought about it. :3**

**PablosGirl**

* * *

"I just couldn't watch them suffer anymore. The boys were so frightened and far away from their parents or anything to give them some faith. And all this so short before Christmas...from day to day they lost their hope. And that's exactly what Greyback's waiting for. Not to mention that they were scared to death because of full-moon, so..." explained Remus hesitating and looked briefly at Sirius.

"So?" asked Remus and raised his eyebrows again.

"I portioned my wolfsbane potion so they wouldn't have to suffer that much," said Remus quietly because he knew exactly what Sirius would think about it.

"You did what?!" yelled Sirius immediately.

"I still had some left for myself," added Remus quickly.

"Some? What does that mean, 'some'?" replied Sirius loudly in disbelief.

"Enough to make me sit here with you now!" growled Remus louder than he meant to.

"Hey, calm sown you two!" interfered Tonks. "So that's why it wore you out so much this time..."

Ben was just looking from one to the other and chewed on his lip.

"You're usually so cautious about keeping a clear mind on full-moon. How could you do this?" said Sirius calmer, but his voice was still full of disbelief.

"Sirius! I just couldn't allow it! What should I do? Just sit there and watch them squirm and scream in pain? There was no other option! Ben had to stay with them and have a clear mind because I..." said Remus and hesitated to look at Sirius. "Promise me you won't rip my head off, Sirius. But we had to get them out of there as quickly as possible. So I went to hunt with the pack to deflect Greyback's attention from the kids and so I wouldn't endanger them myself."

Tonks just stared at him bewildered while Sirius seemed to think about what Remus had said.

He had knitted his brows and just looked at Remus.

For a few moments the room was filled with an awkward silence.

"Thanks to Remus, the kids are back at home and safe," broke Ben the silence and looked at Tonks and Sirius.

"But...what if you had harmed anybody?" whispered Tonks.

"Dora...I know. Ben tried to argue me out of it the whole time. And I knew the risk. To be honest, I was pretty scared. Unless I would've never sent you this patronus, Dora, believe me! I just thought, in case I wouldn't see you again-"

"Please don't say it!" interrupted Tonks quickly. "I was so scared for you! For two days I've imagined you lying in the snow somewhere, bleeding to death helplessly. I tried everything to get those pictures out of my mind. Just, please, don't ever do this to me again, okay?"

.

Remus lowered his eyes and bit his lower lip while Tonks fought back the burning feeling in her eyes.

_I'm not good for her, she'll always have to be afraid for me_, thought Remus.

"Tonks is right, Remus...but what you did there...I think I understand why it was so important for you to bring those kids back home...you didn't want them to live through the same thing as you, right?" said Sirius quietly.

Remus sighed and looked up at Sirius.

"Yes...they shouldn't have to wake up with a bloody taste in their mouth and not remember what they've done all night, where they've been and who they might have harmed...you know the score," said Remus and the hint of a smile flashed his lips before he turned to Tonks again. "I really love you Tonks and I never wanted to hurt or scare you. But I just couldn't help it. I couldn't watch these boys suffer and leave them to themselves while remembering my school time. I had the best friends one could wish for, I had parents who loved me. Everything they would have had left is hatred. I'm so sorry I scared you, but I couldn't stand the idea that something happens to me and I didn't tell you that I loved you one last time."

Tonks was speechless and so she just cupped his face with her hands and kissed him.

"It will always be dangerous. But at least we're not alone," said Sirius and smiled at everybody around.

But when he reached Ben, he hesitated.

Ben felt a suspicious burning in his eyes when thousand thoughts threatened to flood his mind and so he quickly jumped up, collected the empty cups and hurried into the kitchen while the other just heard him mumble "You're a grown man, for Merlin's sake...".

Sirius immediately felt the sudden urge to follow him and cheer him up like he often used to do with Remus, but the latter stopped him by briefly shaking his head.

Ben returned only a few seconds later, still avoiding their eyes.

.

"Oh, great. You're just sitting around anyway. I could use a strong man to help me get all those dishes out of the cupboard...Sirius?" sounded Molly's voice suddenly from the door.

Tonks had fortunately shifted away from Remus a few moments ago.

"I'll help you," said Remus quickly but Molly already waved her hand around.

"No, not you, dear, you should get some rest," said Molly firmly and pressed her hand on her hips.

"No, no, it's okay, I can take the cutlery or something like that..." mumbled Remus and shoved past her while winking at Tonks.

And so the pink haired witch was left alone with the silent Ben.

"Are you alright?" asked Tonks with a gentle smile after she had just looked at him fruitlessly for a few seconds.

"Yes, hardly worth mentioning...I'm just a bit too emotional sometimes around full-moon," mumbled Ben.

"Well, at least I'm not the only one then," laughed Tonks and even raised a small smile on his lips. "We're really happy that you're here. The more people under the tree, the better."

"But I have nothing for you and I feel pretty bad about it," replied Ben sheepishly.

"So? As far as I know we don't have any gifts for you either. No need to feel awkward. You're our guest and that's it!" said Tonks smiling.

"Okay," sighed Ben with a crooked smile. "Feels good to have friends like you, who take me as I am."

"What do you mean?" asked Tonks and tilted her head as she heard the sad tone in his voice.

"I haven't had any real friends in years, you know. And my parents moved to Australia a few years ago...it's not that they'd be supportive or anything..." said Ben quietly looking into the fire.

He obviously didn't like the topic.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it...but what's the matter with your parents?" asked Tonks carefully.

"The Werewolf thing was one thing...but the biggest problem was that they never got along with my, well, lifestyle, if you know what I mean. They always said I just had to find the right woman, no ifs, no buts," explained Ben in a gloomy voice.

"That's terrible..." replied Tonks quietly.

"So I'm all the more thankful that you accept it, at least mostly..." said Ben smirking.

"You mean Sirius? He just can't believe his sexual radar failed him, don't worry," said Tonks with a mischievous grin.

.

When they were sitting in the kitchen one hour later, Ben had lost his shyness again and sat happily at the table with the others.

"The food was amazing, Molly! Thank you!" praised Tonks after the dessert.

"No need to thank me, dear. I'll just quickly let the dishes wash themselves up and then I'll head to Arthur again," replied Molly.

"Oh, wait!" said Tonks suddenly and jumped up, nearly flinging her and Ben's plates off the table. "I'll give you some cookies to take with you! They're actually a gift for Remus, but he can spare some."

She had lowered her voice for the last sentence in a played, well-audible whisper.

"How come I don't know about my cookies?" said Remus smirking at the other end of the table.

"Well, why do you think I'm whispering?" replied Tonks grinning. "It's a shame Christmas is not going as planned, but we want to visit Arthur at St. Mungos the day after tomorrow."

"That's nice of you, love, but thank Merlin he's almost recovered again. Come on now, kids! We have to go!" said Molly and a few minutes later she had left with the children.

Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys were actually supposed to spend the holidays at number 12.

But because of all the trouble with Arthur they had decided to go back to Hogwarts the next morning.

"I think we should get some sleep," said Ben suppressing a yawn.

"You're right," agreed Remus and Ben left the kitchen.

"What about you?" asked Tonks Sirius.

"Hmmm..." grunted the Animagus.

"Hey, Harry only could have stayed one more day anyway, Sirius. Don't be sad," said Tonks.

"I know...it's just not fair," replied Sirius and forced a poor smile.

.

Remus had almost started to doze off immediately once he had dropped on the bed.

Tonks was still in the bathroom and he forced himself to keep his eyes open.

"You're still awake?" asked Tonks surprised as she entered her room five minutes later.

"Mhmm..." growled Remus and smiled as she crawled under the blanket to him.

Suddenly he felt something cold as ice on his legs and nearly jumped up.

"Merlin, Dora!" laughed Remus and wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer to his chest.

"I'm sorry, you already froze your ass off last night and now I'm torturing you with me cold feet," said Tonks apologetically and looked at him with big, brown eyes.

"It's okay, come here," whispered Remus tiredly and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Merry Christmas, Dora."

"Merry Christmas!" whispered Tonks with a loving smile.

.

After they had enjoyed a long breakfast the next morning, Tonks stood up with a sigh to go to work.

One of her colleagues had called in sick and so, now that she Remus home and safe, Tonks had decided to take over his shift.

"Okay, guys. I have to leave. And I dare you, Sirius! You better wait with the presents until I come home!" said Tonks, gave Remus a kiss and left.

The two Werewolves used the afternoon to catch up on some sleep, while Sirius decided to spend some time with Buckbeak and bring him the dinner leftovers he had put aside for the hippogriff.

But when Tonks returned in the late afternoon, she found the three men sitting in the kitchen again.

"Wotcher!" greeted the young with and placed a kiss on Remus cheek.

"How was your day?" asked Remus and looked up at Tonks, who was standing behind his chair, her hands on his shoulders.

"Well, pretty quiet. So, how about a butterbeer in the living-room?" replied Tonks and smiled at the men.

"That's my cousin! You better keep that woman, Moony!" laughed Sirius and stood.

And so Ben followed Sirius, who let the bottles levitate in front of him.

Tonks already wanted to follow them, when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

"Where are my cookies?" growled Remus quietly and amused into her ear.

"I see, you recovered! I hid them where you won't find them," giggled Tonks and turned around in his arms.

Her flat hands were resting on his chest while she looked into his eyes.

"Merry Christmas, wolfie!" said Tonks and beamed at him.

"Merry Christmas, Dora," replied Remus in a low, hoarse voice and kissed her.

"You're still pretty tired, huh?" asked Tonks gently and ran her fingers through his hair.

"A little bit" lied Remus. "But I think I can manage sitting around in front of the fireplace."

"Good, because I want you to be awake when you get your present," said Tonks winking.

"You shouldn't get me anything!" protested Remus and suddenly seemed much less tired again.

"Come on, it's practical and it was a snip," replied Tonks casually.

"And what's a snip by your standards?" asked Remus and looked at her worriedly.

"Well...something reduced?" said Tonks smiling and he just returned the smile with a sigh.

"You'll get your present upstairs, alright?" said Remus.

"Do you want to seduce me?" asked Tonks grinning.

"I thought you wanted me to rest?" asked Remus smirking.

"Oh! A private strip show?" asked Tonks with a mischievous grin which could compete with Sirius'.

"Wha...Dora, why...and how is something like this supposed to be NOT private?" stammered Remus, partly confused, partly amused.

"Aha! It is a strip show!" laughed Tonks loudly.

"Dora!" laughed Remus and steered her out of the kitchen.

.

"What have you been doing so long? Oh, wait, we don't really want to know," said Sirius grinning as they entered the living-room.

"Too late...Werewolf hearing..." replied Ben acting disgusted and Remus blushed.

"So, who's first? No one? Great, then I'll start!" said Tonks grinning and lifted her wand. "Accio Remus' and Sirius' presents!"

And only a few seconds later, two presents flew into the room and landed on their owner's lap.

"Dora, you said you didn't spend much!" said Remus shocked as he saw how big his box was.

"Just open it already!" laughed Tonks and watched the two men unwrap their presents with an incredibly wide grin on her face.

"Wow..." whispered Sirius honestly surprised. "Where did you get these?"

He had sat up in his armchair, taking a close look at the two old scotch bottles in his hands.

"All about the right contacts," said Tonks winking.

"Thank you! I promise I won't empty them as quickly as this cheap stuff here," smiled Sirius and nodded at the bottle of firewhisky in the cabinet.

"I hope so! You're not saying anything, Remus..." said Tonks and looked at her boyfriend with a shy, crooked smile on her lips.

.

He had unwrapped his new coat and carefully folded it in his lap, his hands still on the warm, brown fabric.

"It's too much," said Remus and looked up at Tonks, who already saw how much he liked it.

"Nah! You need a new one, Remus! And I love it, it'll fit you! I just hope you like it," replied Tonks.

"Yes, of course! Just don't ever tell me how much you spent on it. Thank you, Dora," said Remus smiling and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"You're welcome...oh, yes, here's something else," said Tonks and jumped up to fish something out a set of drawers in the corner of the room.

"I made them for you while you were away. With an extra chocolate," said Tonks beaming and took two small bags filled with cookies out of the cookie tin.

"And those are for you two! I thought unless you wouldn't even get to try them. He's got enough, he can spare some for you," said Tonks smiling and handed Sirius and Ben a pack of cookies.

"You monster," joked Remus in his best evil tone.

But Tonks already sat down next to him again.

"Now it's my turn," said Sirius and "accio-ed" his presents for Remus and Tonks. "I wasn't that creative this year, just to warn you."

"A chocolate cook-book? And why are there markers in there?" laughed Remus and browsed through the big, chocolate-brown book.

"Well, I just marked some things that looked nice...worth a try, you know?" replied Sirius with a mischievous grin.

"I get the hint, padfoot. Thank you very much!" said Remus and smiled at his old friend before he turned to Tonks and his face turned into a frown. "'One hundred and one colour spells'..."

"Now she can turn eeeeverything pink," said Sirius and started to laugh as he saw Remus' face.

"Yay!" laughed Tonks and beamed at her cousin while Remus already pictured waking up in a pink room...

"That's for you," said Remus eventually and handed Sirius an old book, which wasn't even wrapped.

But once Sirius held it in his hands, his jaw dropped and his eyes got bigger and bigger.

"Where did you find this?" asked Sirius dumbfounded.

"I found it while cleaning up the attic with Mad-Eye. I hope you enjoy it," replied Remus smiling.

"That's my old scrapbook...all these old Quidditch-articles, pictures, everything. This was holy for me when I was a kid. When I came back from my first year in Hogwarts, my father had burned and told me a scrapbook was something for small children, not for young men. But he obviously lied," explained Sirius and looked at the old leather cover with a content smile.

And so they just sat there in front of the fireplace and chatted until Ben nearly dozed off and they decided to go upstairs.

.

"Well then, start undressing," said Tonks grinning when Remus closed the door behind him.

"You still believe I'm going to strip for you, don't you?" replied Remus smiling, his hand clutching the small jewellery box inside his pocket.

"Hope dies last," said Tonks and shrugged her shoulders.

But Remus looked down and bit his lower lip because he didn't know how to start.

"Hey, are you alright?" asked Tonks gently and stepped closer to him.

"No, I...I'm just not sure if isn't too early for this," answered Remus and looked at her hesitantly.

Tonks swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Remus, what are you up to?" whispered Tonks knitting her brows.

"What? No! That's not what I meant...and it's not what it looks like either...I mean, I'm not kneeling in front of you, but...just open it and tell me if you like it or not before I talk myself into trouble," stammered Remus and handed her the box.

He nervously watched her, wringing his hands.

Tonks was completely overwhelmed and slowly opened the box, just to close it again and quickly shove it back into his hands.

"What, how...you, where. Money?! Remus, I can't take this!" stammered Tonks hysterically.

After the first shock over her reaction the smile returned to his face and he put the box back into her hands.

"Just tell me if you like it," said Remus smiling.

And now she was the one biting her lower lip.

She just couldn't take this from him!

"But you...must be broke now for at least a million years!" said Tonks in a last, poor attempt to convince him.

"You haven't even really seen it yet, come on now," laughed Remus quietly.

"Okay..." mumbled Tonks and carefully opened the box.

Even in this dim light, the gemstone was still shining in all different colours.

Tonks felt the lump in her throat again.

It was beautiful, just perfect for her...

"Do you like it?" asked Remus worriedly after she had just stood there in silence for a few moments with her eyes locked on the necklace in her hands.

"Remus, I can't-"

"Do you like it?" laughed Remus again.

"Yes! It's beautiful, perfect!" smiled Tonks beaming.

The weight of a whole mountain seemed to lift from Remus shoulders at that moment.

"But how could you afford this?" whispered Tonks.

"I couldn't," replied Remus with a bitter smile. "But that's not important."

She looked at him with a confused expression while he walked around her to put the jewellery around her neck.

"It used to belong to my grandmother. She gave it to, so I could give it to a special girl one day. She always used to protest when I told her I would never find someone. And she was right. You're very special and I love you."

With these words he closed the necklace, wrapped his arms around her and placed a soft kiss on her neck.

"I love you, too, Remus," whispered Tonks and kissed the back of his hand. Let's go to sleep, darling," growled Remus tiredly and pulled her onto the bed...


	27. reunion

**Hey everyone! *apologetic group hug***

**I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded in more than a week! My stupid brain made the mistake and mixed up this story and "four little lights", which I updated on sunday, and so I thought that the last update wasn't that long ago. I hope I can make this up with this rather long chapter :) **

**I don't know how to describe it, but in this chapter something I hinted at earlier will be revealed and I'm curious what you'll think about it. Apart from that there's some light fluff for you, too. ;) **

**Thank you all so much for reading this story! I hope you forgive me for the long upload-break *throwing chocolate everywhere* and, as always, I'd love to read your reviews! :)**

**Enjoy the chapter! **

**xo PablosGirl**

remusdora: Aww! Thank you, I loved your comment :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapters, I just needed some Christmas-harmony at the moment ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter, too! *offering a cup of hot chocolate*

danadanaBATMAN: Your comment really made me smile! I would have loved to see that :D I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you'll like this one, too! *offering a cup of hot chocolate*

Is A Bell X3: Thank you very much! :) I'm glad you liked it! Enjoy! *offering a cup of hot chocolate*

* * *

Tonks didn't want to wake up the next morning and so she only opened her eyes very reluctantly.

It was just way too warm and comfortable in her bed, in those arms...

She carefully turned around and watched Remus sleeping with a loving smile on her lips.

He had bent one of his arms and rested his head on it while his other arm was wrapped around her waist.

The blanket only covered him up to his stomach so Tonks could see the scars on his skin, shimmering in the morning's light...but Tonks also noticed several bruises and grazes.

Remus was still asleep and breathing steadily and Tonks would have loved to caress his skin and kiss him, but she didn't want to wake him.

Nonetheless she would have to get out of his arms eventually to get to work.

And as if he had heard her thoughts, Remus awoke with a deep breath and opened his eyes.

"Where are you going?" growled Remus and blinked sleepily.

"I have to go to work, wolfie, I'm sorry," replied Tonks and made a move to get up.

"Already?" growled Remus and pulled her closer to his chest again.

"Yes, already," giggled Tonks and eventually freed herself from his arms. "Go back to sleep. See you later, wolfie. I love you."

"I love you, too, Dora," mumbled Remus before his eyes fell shut again.

Outside in the hallway Tonks met Ben.

"Morning!" said the young witch smiling.

"Morning, slept well?" replied Ben.

"Like a log and Remus still does," said Tonks grinning.

"Well then, have a nice day," said Ben still a bit shy.

"Okay, see you!" said Tonks cheerfully and left through the front door.

Two hours later, Remus woke up, too, and for the first time in days he felt completely rested.

"Morning," said Remus as he entered the kitchen.

"Did you look at a clock yet?" asked Sirius amused and put the Daily Prophet down.

"Oh...no," replied Remus grinning.

"Feel better?" asked Ben, who entered the kitchen only seconds later.

"Yes, much better," answered Remus and leant on one of the chairs.

"Good, because I think that three young men would be happy to see you again," said Ben smiling.

"You too, Remus? Does Tonks know this? I'm disappointed!" said Sirius faux-upset.

"Oh shut up, padfoot!" laughed Remus while Ben just shook his head with a wide grin on his lips.

"To be honest, I would love to make sure they're safe now," mumbled Remus pensively and looked out of the window.

"Well, then we should leave soon," replied Ben and Remus nodded.

.

At the Ministry Tonks had worked off her pile of papers and packed her stuff to go on a mysterious field mission with Kingsley.

"Would you be so kind as to finally give me some more information?" asked Tonks as the left the Aurors' office.

"Just wait a minute," said Kingsley amused about her curiosity.

They disapparated and when Tonks felt solid ground under her feet again, she was standing at the edge of a forest.

It had already started to get dark again as they walked towards a small house, the snow crunching under their feet.

"Where are we, Kingsley?" asked Tonks a little bit annoyed when they reached the front door.

"We're at the house of two of the three children Ben and Remus freed. Remus told the parents to contact me and so they did. Now we're here to talk to them about the next steps," revealed Kingsley.

"Oh...okay," said Tonks positively surprised, shrugged her shoulders and waited for the door to open.

.

"Who is it?" asked a deep, male voice from behind the door.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt with one of his colleagues, Nymphadora Tonks," replied the Auror and Tonks hissed at the sound of her name.

"Why are you here?" asked the voice much more relaxed.

"Because of Leonard and Cole, your twin boys, who are back at home thanks to two Werewolves," answered Kingsley the father's safety question.

The door lock clicked and a tall man asked them in, his wand still in his hand.

As she entered, Tonks immediately thought that the house had a warm atmosphere.

There was a lot of wooden furniture and warm colours.

Toys were lying around here and there...definitely a place children would love.

"Just follow me into the living-room, my wife and the boys are there, too," said the man friendly and yet still a bit nervously.

"Hello, nice to meet you!" greeted his wife as they entered the warm room.

The boys lifted their heads to get a look at the guests but quickly looked away again, almost as if they were disappointed.

"How are you two?" asked Kingsley and thankfully took a seat on the sofa.

"Good, we're just a bit tired," replied the bigger one.

"And they're always hungry," smiled their mother and gently stroked over the smaller one's hair.

"That's not true!" protested the boy immediately.

Tonks was watching the scene with a tender smile on her lips when suddenly someone knocked on the door.

Everyone immediately turned their heads.

The two Aurors got up and grabbed their wands.

"Are you expecting any visitors? Family, friends, neighbours?" asked Kingsley quietly.

But the parents just shook their heads.

"Go to the window and see if it's anybody you know," said Kingsley and the father stepped into the kitchen where he pushed the curtain to the side.

"Two men, I don't know any of them. Should we better ignore them?" said the father from the kitchen.

"No, just come back. I'll answer the door," said Kingsley calmly and walked to the front door.

He carefully opened it, his wand in his hand and ready to attack.

Tonks was standing behind him in case he needed backup.

"What are _you_ doing here?" asked Kingsley surprised and lowered his wand a few centimetres.

"We just wanted to ask you the same thing," heard the parents another unknown voice say.

The kids, however, perked up their ears.

"We wanted to visit the boys, see if they're alright, if that's okay," said another voice, which sounded oddly familiar to the parents, even though they had only heard it once before.

A cold shiver went down their spines while a wide smile spread on their sons' faces.

.

A few moments later, two strangers stood in the family's living-room.

The parents automatically stepped in front of their children and sent Kingsley a confused look.

"There's no need to worry, but I think your guests would like to explain themselves," said Kingsley.

The two men nodded while the twins' father watched them warily.

"Hello, my name is Ben Thompson. We already met a few days ago, just not...like this," said Ben with a friendly smile. "I was the big wolf, which accompanied your sons that night."

A shy smile flashed the mother's lips while her eyes were full of gratefulness.

"And you are?" asked the father Remus.

"Remus Lupin. I'm a Werewolf, too, and you may remember my voice," explained Remus calmly.

The twins' mother quickly nodded and stepped to the side, still smiling at the two men.

"Remus!"

"Ben!"

The twins came running at them.

"How are you?"

"Remus! You're fine!"

"We missed you!"

The boys were babbling the whole time while they jumped around them.

Ben and Remus exchanged a beaming smile and Remus noticed Tonks in the corner of his eye.

She was watching the scene with a gentle smile on her lips and an amused look in her eyes.

Something was sparkling around her neck...

"It's okay boys, calm down for a second," laughed Ben and steered the twins back to the sofa.

A bit overwhelmed by the situation, the parents offered everyone a seat again.

"So, you are the ones we have to thank for having our boys back at home?" asked the mother with a warm smile.

"You could say so, yes," replied Remus smiling.

"Without Remus and Ben we wouldn't be here now, Mum!" said Cole.

"Yes, without them we would still be there. And without Remus full-moon would have been much worse!" added Leonard and the parents turned to the Werewolves with a confused expression.

The father still seemed a bit nervous.

"That's one of the reasons we're here. There's a lot you don't know yet but it will be very important for your sons' safety in the future. They're Werewolves now, just like us. It's irreversible but there are a few things to make life easier for them, explained Remus and Ben nodded agreeing.

"I just have a question," said the father hesitantly. "If you're Werewolves, too...and you've been there...with Greyback, then why should we trust you?"

It was obvious that the man felt uncomfortable asking this.

After all he was sitting in front of two grown Werewolves in his own living-room.

Of course, his sons were Werewolves, too, now and this fact already confused him.

But the whole situation was just overwhelming.

Remus saw his despair and he knew too well how parents react in this situation, to feel insulted.

.

"That's a fair question. I'll try to answer it as good as I can but I can't tell you everything," said Remus and quickly looked over at Kingsley, who got the hint. "This, let's call it pack, consists of many different people. Of course there's Greyback and his followers, who are clearly vicious and dangerous. They feel more like animals than humans and they hate the wizarding society because it hates them. Apart from that, they sympathize with Voldemort, Greyback leading the way. But there are also some, who just need a place to live where they at least get a minimum of social contact and a dry spot to sleep. And then there are others, who are just looking for a safe place to transform on full-moon, far away from anyone who could see or hear them. Or even worse, who they could harm."

"I was counting myself part of that last group until I met Remus. Or I better say until he made me get to know him," added Ben smiling. "Now, and for Remus quite a while already, there's another reason. We oppose Greyback and what he does. So when we heard of all those attacks and kidnappings, we went back."

"But...you seem so normal," thought the mother aloud and blushed.

Remus and Ben just exchanged a smile.

"Well, we live a pretty normal life. Ben more than me. He's got a job and a flat. And I have a lot of help. The biggest problem for us is prejudice and the Ministry's laws and restrictions. We're potentially dangerous and so nobody wants to have us. If there's no one to help you, you're lost. Financially, socially and healthwise," explained Remus.

"What does that mean for Leonard and Cole?" asked the father seriously.

"It will never be the same again, you'll just have to accept that. There's no cure for it. I wish I could change it and I wish I could protect them from what is ahead of them, but I can't..." replied Remus sadly and the twins' mother felt that he was honestly touched.

"But you shared your potion with us!" said Cole.

"You looked after us and protected us!" added Leonard.

"What potion?" asked the mother curiously.

"The Wolfsbane potion. It was invented only a few years ago. It helps with the transformation; eases the pain and, most importantly, keeps you in your right mind. But you can still infect others, if you bite them. The only problem is that only very few people brew it. One the one hand, because nearly nobody's interested in our well-being, and on the other hand, because it's extremely difficult to produce. But I fortunately have a source," explained Remus patiently.

"Is there anything else we have to know? We have so many questions and we didn't even know that there's so much help from the Ministry," said the father looking at Tonks and Kingsley.

"Well, usually that's not the case. You're incredibly glad your children met these two men," replied Kingsley in his deep, calm voice.

"We're more than thankful. We're still too shocked to show it, but we really are," said the father and smiled at Ben and Remus.

"There's a lot you'll have to know, but we don't want to drown you in information right now, there's still enough time. But if you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact Ben or me. We'll definitely visit you again before the next full-moon and talk everything through. If you don't mind, we would like to accompany them to their registry. But this can wait until next year," said Remus calmly and the parents just nodded, still overwhelmed by the last days.

.

A little later the four Order members decided to leave.

"Take care boys, alright?" said Remus to the twins and Tonks heard the worry in his voice.

"Of course!" said Cole grinning and conjured a smile on Ben's and Remus' faces.

The two men had already turned around to follow Tonks and Kingsley, when Leonard bit his lip and eventually jumped at Remus' arm.

"Hey there!" said Remus laughing and lifted his arm with Leonard still clinging to it like a monkey.

"You're going to visit us again, don't you?" asked the boy and Remus let him down again.

"Of course we will, what a question," replied Ben grinning and ruffled Cole's hair.

And so they said goodbye to the reunited family and went outside into the cold.

"They're wonderful...and still very young, indeed," said Tonks to Remus when the door had closed behind them.

The Werewolf just nodded with his hands in his pockets and his warm breath forming small clouds in the cold air.

"I'm really proud of you, even though you risked a lot. I'm proud of both of you," said Tonks and smiled at the two men.

"We should hurry up, there are other confused parents waiting for us," said Kingsley and they disapparated.

.

Five minutes later they were standing in front of another door.

Kingsley knocked and after similar, wary questions the door opened.

"I think someone's especially keen on meeting you again," mumbled Ben smirking.

"Who is this?" asked the man with a frown as he looked at Remus and Ben.

"I think it would spare us a long explanation if you let this young man over there take a look," said Kingsley smiling and an older boy stepped next to the man.

Tonks and Kingsley stepped to the side and the boy's eyes widened.

"Ben! Remus!" said the boy.

He hesitated for a second, but then he just embraced the surprised Remus.

"You're alright!" said the boy with a beaming smile and let go of Remus after a few seconds.

"Well, what did you expect?" joked Remus with a wide grin on his face.

"How are you?" asked Ben and squeezed Philipp's shoulder.

His hand was still lightly bandaged and the father's face lit up as it dawned to him.

"I'm fine, come in," said Philipp and his father seemed much more relaxed now.

Tonks didn't know where to look first.

At the boy's beaming face or Remus' wide grin...

Kingsley and Ben had explained everything to the father for a while, when suddenly the old wooden stairs creaked.

"I've heard something, do we have visitors? Oh!" said Philipp's mother as she walked down the stairs and eventually noticed the four strangers at her table.

"Mum! It's Remus and Ben! They're alright! They wanted to visit us. Did you get some rest?" said Philipp enthusiastically.

"Yes, thank you dear. So those are your two saviours, hm?" asked Philipp's mother with a warm smile and shook everyone's hands.

"I don't even know how to thank you, Mr...?" said the woman as she sat down next to her husband.

"Lupin."

"Thompson."

"Ah, thank you! Mr. Lupin and Mr. Thompson...without you our son wouldn't be here with us right now...and who knows what would've happened if you didn't take care of the boys," said the mother and looked at the two Werewolves with pure gratefulness beaming from her eyes.

For a short moment it seemed like her eyes were filling with tears but her husband quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"There's nothing to thank us for," replied Ben smiling. "You can be proud of your son. He looked after the smaller ones and was very brave the whole time."

Philipp's mother stroked over her son's hair with a proud smile on her lips and his cheeks blushed.

.

About an hour later, after they had explained everything to the parents, they got up to leave.

But before the stepped outside into the winter cold they had to promise Philipp that they would visit him again.

Kingsley disapparated back to the Ministry but Tonks shift was already over and so she linked arms with the two Werewolves and looked up at them with a big smile.

"How about we go back home and cook dinner together?" suggested Tonks.

"Sounds great, I haven't eaten anything since breakfast," replied Ben smiling.

"I'm afraid I have to follow a little later. I still have to get something done," said Remus briefly and detangled his arms from hers.

"What a pity," said Tonks and pouted.

She didn't want to question him about what he did and where he went...but someone else already took that from her.

"Now? What's so urgent you have to get it done tonight?" asked Ben confused.

Remus' eyes flickered over the edge of the forest, just as if he was searching his brain for an answer.

"I still have to get something from the pharmacy, that's all," said Remus and lifted his eyebrows as he sent Ben a meaningful look Tonks didn't miss.

"Arrange it among yourselves, I'll go and start with Sirius," said Tonks into the silence between the two men.

"Okay, Dora. See you then," said Remus smiling and broke the eye contact with Ben.

Right after Tonks had disapparated, Ben Stepped closer to Remus with a frown on his face and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"What's the matter? Did you injure yourself on full-moon? I thought we had everything at home, pain killers, tinctures..." said Ben in a wary tone.

"Listen...I'm not just going to any pharmacy. I have to go to Hogsmeade...to my healer from the Ministry. Just don't tell Tonks about it, alright?" explained Remus reluctantly.

"I still don't get it...you remember last time you kept something from her, don't you?" said Ben and increased his bad conscience.

Remus just sighed annoyed and rubbed his face with his hand.

How could he explain it to him without sounding like he was crazy?

Not to think of Tonks' reaction once she found out about it.

But when Remus looked up at Ben again, he mainly saw friendly worry in his eyes.

"Listen, Ben...just trust me. I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me. I'll explain it to you later, okay? It's a bit complicated. But promise me you won't tell Tonks or Sirius...or anybody. Just tell them I ran out of tincture, alright?" said Remus with an apologetic look.

"Okay. But you will explain it to me! And don't try to shit me, okay?" said Ben eventually and prepared to disapparate.

_If he knew...,_ thought Remus and nodded at him.

.

It was already dark outside when Remus arrived at Hogsmeade.

He carefully entered the small pharmacy the healer ran and a small bell rang as he opened the door.

The high shelves behind the counter were loaded with flasks and jars of all forms and sizes.

Through a narrow open door between the shelves Remus could see dim light shining into the already closed shop, but he already knew the procedure.

"Hello Geoffrey! Merry Christmas!" said Remus into the passage between the shelves.

"Ah, there you are! Merry Christmas to you, too! Looks like it was a bad moon for you this month, huh? " replied Geoffrey as he noticed Remus and beckoned him over into his small laboratory.

Remus sat down on a chair, took off his shirt and rubbed the crook of his right arm with his thumb.

"Well then, Remus, I've got good news!" said the healer cheerfully and fiddled around with something on the desk.

There was a clicking noise and the stinging smell of alcohol reached Remus' nostrils.

Something he couldn't stand so short after full-moon...

"And what is it?" asked Remus and tried to breathe through his mouth.

"I made some pretty good progress with the last sample! I think we're a big step closer to it! With a bit of luck it won't take more than half a year," explained Geoffrey and unpacked a sterile needle.

"Soo..." he mumbled and stretched the skin in the crook of Remus' arm to wipe it with the alcohol.

Remus nervously waited for the sting until the needle painfully disappeared into his vein.

Geoffrey connected a thin tube with the needle and only seconds later his blood ran through the transparent tube.

"What exactly do you mean with progress?" asked Remus while the healer sat down in another chair.

"Well, I need less blood and the brewing process is much easier and less complicated. Apart from that it seems to be quite durable. Nothing has changed since last month. But you have to keep it carefully closed of course," explained the healer pleased.

"Sounds great. And you're sure it won't kill you?" said Remus with a crooked smile.

"Of course not! It's still complicated to brew, but much easier than the original! The blood is the secret, it's much easier to produce big amounts than with Werewolf-hair. A few drops of blood suffice for one full-moon dose. Such a sample would easily suffice for 50 doses!" said the healer and replaced the full bag of blood with an empty one. "I think we better stop after the second one today. You're too exhausted, boy. No need to rush."

"Thank you..." mumbled Remus and returned to his musing.

.

"Are you alright, Remus?" asked Geoffrey and tilted his head.

"Yes...no. You know, a lot has changed for me recently, for good..." replied Remus hesitantly.

"I can see that," said the healer smirking.

"How?" asked Remus confused.

"You look healthier, that's all," said the old man laughing.

Remus hesitantly looked down himself and then back at the healer.

"No, no! Don't worry, you could still use a few more pounds. You just seem more relaxed, you know," said Geoffrey smiling. "But what's bothering you then?"

"I haven't told anybody about all this yet. Once I do they'll tear me into pieces," mumbled Remus. "It just feels wrong to keep it a secret."

"I see. And I guess most people would find it rather dodgy. But for now there's just no other option to do it. The wolfbane-potion was a great invention, but you have to admit that it's not really convenient. And I tell you one thing, boy: without you, I'd be stranded!" replied the old man and raised his eyebrows.

"You give me money for this, Geoffrey!" replied Remus and screwed up his face.

"Because you deserve it. After all you're helping me to invent this potion! If we succeed, there'll be a convenient and cheap alternative to the wolfsbane potion. Others may think you're selling your blood, which is obviously nonsense, but hey, we're doing it for a good cause!" replied Geoffrey, pulled the needle out of his arm and wrapped it in a light bandage.

"Yay!" said Remus sarcastically but eventually he chuckled quietly.

"Thank you, Geoffrey, I guess I'll see you at the Ministry," added Remus as they walked to the door.

"I already told you a million times. There's nothing to thank me for," replied the healer smiling.

"Oh, yes...is there any chance to change the taste?" asked Remus grinning.

"To what for example?" asked Geoffrey and raised his brows.

"I don't know...chocolate?" said Remus laughing and put his hands into his pockets.

"You better leave before I start to question your sanity, boy!" laughed Geoffrey and patted Remus' shoulder one last time.

.

When Remus entered number 12 a little later and brushed the snowflakes from his hair, the smell of food immediately reached his nostrils.

_Dora never ever cooked this on her own_, thought Remus smiling and took the scarf off his neck.

His aching arm reminded him of his burdening secret about the "stop at the pharmacy" again.

"Hey! I'll just quickly put my coat away," said Remus as he quickly looked into the kitchen.

"Sure, dinner's ready any minute. Took a bit of time, huh?" replied Tonks smiling.

"Err, yes. Obviously many people need something from the pharmacy during the holidays," mumbled Remus awkwardly and went upstairs.

He clenched his fists until his knuckles shimmered white under his skin and his fingernails buried themselves in his skin...he just couldn't stand her loving smile while he was obviously lying to her.

The wooden steps creaked under his feet and every step reminded him of his blatant lie.

_Creak..._

_You're keeping it from her._

_Creak..._

_Sirius would tell you anything._

_Creak..._

_Ben may understand you._

_Creak..._

_She loves you and you're lying to her again..._

.

He put his coat over the chair and let out a tired and exhausted sigh before he shuffled into the bathroom.

For a few moments he just stood there, his hands on the sink, and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Remus' skin was pale...the moon or less blood in his body, it didn't matter...they wouldn't know.

He growled at himself, clenched his teeth and turned on the ice cold water.

He carefully held his hands under the icy jet of water until it hurt and he felt his cold blood run back into his heart through his veins.

With a quiet sigh he bent down and splashed his face with cold water.

The desired effect immediately kicked in and Remus looked much more alert as he looked into his own eyes.

Anyway, he didn't like what he saw.

As he heard footsteps in the hallway he quickly dried his hands and face with a towel and only moments later a figure appeared in the open bathroom door.

Ben cleared his throat and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Hey..." murmured Remus and shifted past him but Ben followed him into his room.

The younger Werewolf patiently watched him take off his shoes.

"You still owe me an explanation," said Ben eventually.

Remus let out a long sigh and rubbed his face.

"Can this keep until tomorrow?" asked Remus tiredly.

"Let's eat first, okay?" suggested Ben and Remus followed him into the kitchen.

.

"There you are!" said Sirius grinning and set the table.

"We just received a message from Bill and Fleur! They'll come to the meeting tomorrow night and they'll bring Victoire!" said Tonks beaming.

"Great," was everything Remus said and he forced a crooked smile.

"How about we go and get some stuff for New Years Eve after we visit Arthur tomorrow? You know, alcohol and stuff," suggested Sirius between two bites.

"I'll have to pass. I have to work tomorrow, sorry," said Ben.

"But you'll at least stay until New Year's Day, right?" asked Tonks grinning.

"Well, if you ask so nicely..." replied Ben and returned the grin.

Remus, however, remained silent the whole time.

The other chatted cheerfully and tried to include him into the conversation...but everything Remus' uttered was a mumbled "hmm" from time to time.

"Give me your plates, I'll clear the table," said Tonks smiling.

"I'll do that for you," said Remus quickly and stood up.

"What a gentleman," said Sirius amused and took a sip of his butterbeer.

But Remus didn't reply anything.

Instead he just placed the plates in the sink and rolled up his sleeves before he went back to the table to fetch the rest of the dishes.

He absent mindedly stepped next to Sirius and grabbed the empty bowl in front of the Animagus.

But before his fingers reached it, Sirius grabbed his wrist and looked up at him with a frown.

On the other side of the table Ben's eyes widened as he realized what Sirius was looking at and Tonks slowly tilted her head, too.

Remus wrested himself free and quickly rolled down his sleeve again while he walked to the sink.

"Remus, what is this?" asked Sirius seriously.

He was facing away and supported himself on the kitchen counter...then he exhaled deeply and turned around with crossed arms.

"Remus, what's wrong?" asked Tonks completely confused.

Remus ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at his friends with a pained expression.

You idiot! How could you forget about that!, thought Remus annoyed.

"Darling? What happened?" asked Tonks and the worried look in her eyes finished him off.

Darling...this word nearly tore his heart.

He took a deep breath...now he would have to explain...


	28. confession and

**Hey everyone! *group hug***

**I know, I kept you waiting again, shame on me! Maybe I can make up for it with this chapter ;) **

**I think I'll have more time to write over the weekend...well at least I hope so. I really want to finish the New Year's Eve/New Year's Day chapters because, well, you'll see... :) Maybe I'll manage to repeat this "TMIF-Thank Merlin It's Friday"-thing and upload another chapter today.**

**I'm not really satisfyed with this chapter, I don't know why, maybe just because it took me so long to translate it. Anyway, I'd love to read what you think about it because seeing your comments always makes my day a bit better.**

**Enough boring Author-talk: I hope you enjoy it! **

***handing out cups of hot chocolate***

**xo PablosGirl**

remusdora: Thanks for the sweet dreams ;) I'm glad you liked it and I always love to "torture" you with cliffhangers...muhahahaha! ;) Enjoy the chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Yay, I'm glad you liked it so much! Unfortunately this chapter is not quite as fluffy, but I hope you like it anyway! Enjoy! :)

ShadowHermione2211: I think this is your first review, sooo...*drum roll* welcome to my story! :3 *offering chocolate* I'm happy you liked it so much so far and that I could make you curious about the next chapter. Thank you very much for the feedback! Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Remus' mouth was suddenly dry while his hands were ice cold but sweaty.

He was afraid of their reaction.

Would they be angry?

Yell at him?

Would they understand at least a little bit?

Would his Dora forgive him that he had lied to her?

Again...

"I want to be honest with you. I'm sorry, I mean it. I'm sorry I kept it from you and even more that I lied to you, Dora. Yes, I lied to you when I said that I needed to get some tincture from the pharmacy. I know, Ben told you, but I asked him to do so," explained Remus ruefully and nervous.

"Does that mean he knew about that?" asked Tonks puzzled. "Why...I don't understand."

"No, I had to promise him I'd explain it later..." replied Remus and unwittingly rubbed the bandaged crook of his arm.

"Remus...do you...do you have a drug problem?" asked Sirius reluctantly and sounded like he couldn't believe his own words.

Remus Lupin and drugs...

"What? No! I...listen..." answered Remus and decided to get over with his confession quickly now before they would come up with even worse ideas.

He carefully rolled up his sleeve again until the bandage was revealed.

Tonks eyes followed his hand worriedly.

The muscles under his scarred skin tensed up as he slowly took the bandage off his arm.

Eventually he stretched his arm so the others could see the small red spot surrounded by a fresh bruise.

Remus just watched their reaction for a few seconds before he started to speak again.

"It was a needle, yes. But it was a healer. Geoffrey Buck, to be precise...my healer, you could say. He runs a small pharmacy in Hogsmeade...doesn't make it any better. Anyway, today wasn't the first time. To put it straight: I go there every month around full-moon and he draws my blood...up to half a litre...so Geoffrey can use it. He's working on an alternative to the wolfsbane-potion...easier to brew...more effective, more durable. I'm his only reliable source and I'm gladly doing it. Because I trust him and because I believe that he can do it. So if I had to get something done around full moon during the last months, I was probably with Geoffrey...like today. I'm so sorry, Dora and I understand if you're angry at me now and...well. I mustn't have lied to you, not again. I shouldn't keep something like that from you. From none of you. I'm sorry, guys."

.

The three just looked at him with an incredulous expression.

"But...you're already exhausted enough after full-moon," said Tonks quietly.

"I know, but-"

"Is there no other way to do this? How do you know that it will work?" interrupted the young witch.

"No, it's the only option. The old wolfsbane-potion required Werewolf-hair which is obviously much harder and dangerous to get. And about my faith in it...Geoffrey told me he made a major step forward and I'm sure it won't be long until we get there. Don't you understand what this would mean?" said Remus quietly.

"How do you know that he isn't just using you for his experiments? What if you're just his little lab rat, Moony?" said Sirius frowning.

There it was..._lab rat_.

But his nickname told Remus that Sirius was more worried than angry.

And yet he blushed at the thought of what he would have to tell them now.

"He...well, I get a bit of money for it...yes, I know guys! I don't like it either," said Remus before the others could say anything.

"That sounds like your selling yourself," said Ben and Remus wasn't sure if his amused undertone was intended.

"I know...at least it's something...and in the long run I'm doing it for myself," replied Remus and finally dared to look at Tonks again.

He couldn't read the look in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me, Remus?" asked Tonks and he felt Ben's and Sirius' eyes on him, too.

Again, he felt a physical sting in his chest...

"Because I was afraid...of your reaction. I know how dodgy and macabre it sounds. On top of that we didn't see any progress for a long time...it was frustrating. It would have been crazy to tell you then. But this time you just cornered me and I didn't want to keep it from you any longer...and I didn't want to lie anymore."

"How long have you been doing this?" asked Tonks.

"About a year..." replied Remus honestly.

Sirius huffed and looked up at the ceiling.

But Tonks didn't get distracted and kept looking at Remus.

"And when did you plan on telling us? Telling _me_? Remus!" said Tonks upset.

"I don't know. I guess I knew how you would react...and you're right," replied Remus apologetically.

He was sure his friends understood him and the necessity of his actions; just like they had with the rescue mission on full-moon.

But Remus also understood their anger and consternation...

.

"Let's pretend the potion is ready...how do you know if it works the way it should?" asked Sirius but Remus was sure he already knew the answer himself.

"I guess I'll test it," admitted Remus.

For a few moments, which felt like hours, no one said a word until Tonks raised her voice again.

"Remus...it's bad enough you lied to us. Of course we understand how important this is to you. And if you tell us there's no other way, then I believe you and I'll accept it. But what if your body can't bear with it next time? What if you had taken the potion without telling us? We wouldn't even know why you don't come back home...Remus I love you and that's why I'm so angry and disappointed. And I think Sirius and Ben feel the same way. Just be honest with us in the future, alright?" said Tonks and blinked suspiciously.

"She's right, Moony. You're old enough to know what you're doing. But this won't change that we're worried about you. Just don't keep something like that from us, okay? And now sit down with us you bloody bullhead," added Sirius.

Remus returned the smile and wrapped his arms around Tonks, who had jumped up to hug him.

"I promise you I won't lie to you or keep anything from you ever again...none of you," mumbled Remus into her ear as he buried his nose into her soft hair.

"Let me see it," mumbled Tonks as she drew back and carefully touched the crook of his arm.

Remus was still confused...he had thought they would tear him into pieces. Well, to be honest, they had, at least emotionally.

Their disbelieving looks, Tonks' eyes...he suddenly felt incredibly tired, accompanied by a physical sting piercing through his chest as he thought about them.

There was no need to keep any secrets from them...they were his friends, his family. Remus' frown transformed into a warm smile.

.

The next morning, Tonks, Sirius and Remus left number 12 to visit Arthur at St. Mungo's while Ben went to work.

When they entered the hospital's lobby, a strange, uneasy feeling filled Remus' chest. The memories of Tonks' coma were still too fresh.

"Hey, I'm here with you and I'm fine," whispered Tonks and her hand briefly brushed his arm.

"I know...it's still strange," replied Remus and forced a smile.

"Here it is," said Sirius and knocked on the door before he opened it.

"Ah, even more visitors," said Arthur smiling as they entered.

"Hello!" greeted Molly warmly from her chair next to his bed.

Remus' eyes, however, quickly flickered over to the man in the other bed. Within seconds he knew what was wrong with him. He looked sick, pale and tired. A big bandage was wrapped around his whole chest to cover up the obviously slow-healing wound.

After he had chatted with Arthur a while he walked over to the other man. With his hands in his pockets he smiled at the miserable looking wizard.

"Hello!" said Remus.

"Hello..." replied the man hesitantly.

"How are you feeling?" asked Remus and the man knitted his brows in confusion.

"How am I supposed to feel? I'm in hospital..." mumbled the man and Remus saw how much he feared any further questions.

"Craving rare steak, huh?" asked Remus with a crooked smile and blinked.

The man's jaw dropped and for the first time he really looked at Remus, who slowly nodded to answer the unspoken question in his eyes.

"B-but, you're here with other people," stammered the man.

"Yes," replied Remus with a small smile.

At that moment, Sirius' barking laugh sounded from the other side of the room and the man looked over at the group of happy people...his eyes widened.

"You are Remus Lupin, right? You caught Peter Pettigrew," whispered the man.

"I didn't do it on my own, but yes. I just wanted to wish you all the best. Try your best not to lose hope, no matter what. The healers will tell you everything you need to know. Try to get some information on the wolfsbane potion. And with a bit of luck there'll be better help for it in the future, don't worry," said Remus and nodded at him.

Sirius had heard that last part, too, and felt like he knew why Remus did all that, risking his own health and life...

.

Back at number 12 Remus entered the front door first and walked into the dark hallway without even thinking about using a "Lumos".

"Remus, you might not believe it, but there are people who can't see without, you know...light," giggled Tonks and stumbled behind him towards the kitchen door.

Remus chuckled as he pressed down the door handle and lifted his wand to to turn the lights on...then he suddenly stopped dead in his track, so that Tonks and Sirius bumped into him, nearly losing their balance.

"Moony, move your ass!" laughed Sirius, but Remus didn't react.

"Remus?" asked Tonks confused.

The sudden light blinded him and for a few moments he saw tiny spots of light dancing through the air...then suddenly the memories came tumbling down on him.

_Spotlights._

_The smell of farm animals._

_A creaking door._

_A human._

_The smell of fear._

_Hunger._

_Panic._

_Escape..._

"I'm sorry, guys...are you alright?" mumbled Remus and took the heavy shopping bag from Tonks to place it on the table.

He sat down on a chair and covered his face with his hands, muffling the deep breath he released from his lunges.

"What's wrong?" asked Tonks, but Sirius already knew what was going on.

He knew this scene all too well from the past...and the expression on Remus' face.

The fear and helplessness about what he had done at the last moon, haunting him from month to month...

"You remember full-moon, right?" asked Sirius quietly and placed a glass of water in front of his suddenly pale friend.

"Yes," replied the Werewolf and nodded. "I went hunting with them...like in a frenzy...must've been the lacking potion. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn't taken any of it. We arrived at a farm or something like that. Suddenly there was a spotlight, that's why I just, you know...and then a man stepped outside, all alone. I heard the others growl and suddenly snapped out of it. I turned around and started to run like mad. I don't know how long I had run but then I heard a howl and from this point on you know the rest of the story. I wasn't myself...but-"

"But?" asked Sirius while Tonks unwittingly stroked his hand with her thumb.

"It was also somehow...satisfying. As if I could finally do what I always wanted to do...but that's impossible...isn't it, Sirius?"

Towards the end his voice got smaller and smaller. Tonks had never seen Remus like that before but she felt like this was not the first time this conversation took place between them.

"Remus, the wolf wants to run and hunt with a pack, of course. But you didn't hurt anybody, okay Moony? Don't worry about it," replied Sirius comforting and squeezed his shoulder.

"Okay, " whispered Remus and tried not to think about whether the man in the hospital owned a farm or not...

"I'm sorry, Dora, you didn't know that side of me yet," said Remus and smiled apologetically.

"Well, then I'll have to get to know it. I'll be there if you need me," replied Tonks smiling and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

A few moments later Ben entered the kitchen and shook the snow out of his hair.

"Trip to the north pole, huh?" asked Sirius grinning.

"Well, feels like it out there," joked Ben.

.

The rest of the day quickly went by.

Tonks finished her reports for the Aurors' office, Ben did some paperwork and Sirius spent the time with Buckbeak.

Remus decided to get some sleep before the Order meeting.

When he awoke again, he already heard voices from the kitchen downstairs and so he went down and stepped into the crowded room, still a bit sleepy.

Tonks had turned her back to the door and was standing next to Bill and Fleur who waved at him cheerfully.

Sirius and Kingsley were standing there with them, too, and seemed to look at Tonks. But when she turned around to him with a huge smile on her lips, he understood. Tonks was holding a small, pink bundle in her arms.

"May I introduce you to our daughter, Remus? This is Victoire," said Bill and Remus thought that he had never heard anyone sound more proud than Bill...well, maybe except for James at Harry's birth.

"Look Remus! I'm holding a baby!" whispered Tonks grinning and looked down at the baby in her arms again.

A smile flashed his lips and he stepped closer to them.

"At first she didn't even want to hold her. She thought she might let her fall or, in her own words, _break something_," said Kingsley chuckling.

The little girl was still sleeping peacefully in her arms and suddenly Remus felt both, a strange warm feeling and the sad certainty that it would never be his own child in her arms.

"Do you want to 'old 'er, too, Remus?" asked Fleur friendly.

"Sorry? Oh, no, I think I'll pass...I have no idea how to do it," said Remus shyly and Sirius grinned.

"It's not difficult at all," replied Bill smiling and before Remus could say anything he was holding Victoire in his arms. "You put one arm here and with the other one you support her head. See, nothing to worry about!"

Remus hesitantly looked down at the small bundle in his arms. Victoire, however, couldn't care less about all the trouble around her. She was still fast asleep.

"Is she always so calm?" asked Remus a few moments later after he had gotten used to it.

"Yes, at least at the moment. She's a little angel, sleeping most of the time," replied Bill with a proud smile.

A few minutes later Remus carefully handed Victoire back to her mother and the meeting began.

Everything went as usual until they got to the Werewolf mission and Ben and Remus had to explain themselves. One small telling-off by Dumbledore and dozens of explanations later, Ben and Remus had finally convinced them that it had been worth the risk.

.

"Bye, Victoire!" whispered Tonks in the hallway and waved at the little baby as Bill and Fleur left.

Once the door fell shut Remus stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her hair.

"You won't believe how much I missed doing this while the others were here," said Remus and kissed her.

"You won't believe how much I miss something else," replied Tonks with a seductive smile but his sleepy eyes already told her she would have to wait a little longer. "I think I'll give you a bit more time to recover, huh?"

"Thank you. Let's go upstairs; the more I sleep, the sooner I'll be fit again," answered Remus and they walked up the old, wooden stairs.

"Well, if that's the case, off to bed with you!" said Tonks laughing.

From tomorrow on she would have some free days until New Year's Day...enough time to spend with Remus...


	29. compensation

**Hey everyone! :3 *group hug* **

**Thank Merlin it's friday! A second chapter for you!**

**So far no reviews for the last chapter...*puppy eyes* **

**I hope you enjoy it, although it's not that long. **

**Thanks to everyone who reads this story! It means a lot to me and I always love reading your reviews. **

***handing out chocolate***

**xo PablosGirl**

* * *

Remus woke up very slowly and it took him a few seconds to orientate himself and realize where he was.

He was in Dora's room, no doubt.

Pink picture frames, pink covers and colourful pillows. Her clothes were scattered all over the floor.

When he felt something move in his arms he started to smile.

Tonks was snuggling up to him even closer, pressing her back against his chest and stomach. She was wearing her short piggy-shorts and Remus was annoyed full-moon was still that close.

He took a deep breath and tried to bring at least a few inches in between her behind and his hips.

_Dora should really wear something else around full-moon_, thought Remus grinning and dozed off again.

.

After breakfast, Tonks decided to do some more of her paperwork.

"Soo...did you sleep well?" asked Sirius once Tonks had left the room.

"Yes, it's been a while since I slept that well," replied Remus and looked up from the newspaper.

He really felt much more rested than during the last days.

For a few moments the fireplace, the rustling newspaper and their breath was everything to be heard and then Sirius suddenly started to talk.

"You know, I just don't know how to find a woman! When I leave the house everyone just sees the tragic figure Sirius Black in me. Everyone already has a picture of me and knows my story although they don't even know me," said Sirius awkwardly.

Remus put the newspaper down and watched his friend with a frown on his face.

"Well, I guess there are many women out there who find you attractive _because_ of all this," replied Remus hesitantly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, maybe. There would probably be some, but..." hem and hawed Sirius.

"But what?" asked Remus and lifted his eyebrows.

He felt that Sirius was driving at something...

"Well, maybe I don't want any affairs anymore. Sure, it would be okay at first. But I'm pushing 40 and for the first time in years I feel good and happy again...even in this bloody house! But I miss something," explained Sirius sheepishly.

"I never thought I'd live to hear that from you," replied Remus chuckling.

"Very funny...I'm serious! I want to wake up next to someone else, too, one day...well, always to the same person, I mean," said Sirius and couldn't bite back a grin.

"I understand. Well, what can I say. I never thought I 'd be that lucky. And to be honest, I'm still worrying about it. Sometimes I can't believe it, I mean, she literally blundered into my life. I didn't find her in any way," explained Remus.

"Well, you never looked for anybody in the first place, Moony," corrected Sirius.

"Yeah, maybe, but that's not the point," said Remus and waved his hand around. "What I mean is that you should take your time. You'll probably meet someone when you least expect it, so don't try to desperately find somebody. But first you'd have to leave the house."

"Hmm, maybe you're right," mumbled Sirius.

"Would make a good New Year's resolution, don't you think?" suggested Remus shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, waking up next to someone on New Year's Day sounds great," replied Sirius with a mischievous grin.

"Maybe you should grant fate a bit more time to work things out, Padfoot," chuckled Remus and patted his shoulder before he went upstairs to take a shower.

.

When he stepped out of the shower a little later he realized he had left his pullover in Tonks' room.

His old t-shirt, however, was lying on the floor and soaking wet. The shower curtain somehow managed to let more water out of the shower than to keep it in...just as if it meant to do so. But in this house you never knew...

"Great..." mumbled Remus to himself and cast away the idea to use a dry spell on it since it wouldn't be worth the effort.

And so he just quickly hurried through the cold hallway bare-chested and entered Tonks' room where he had left his pullover.

"Hey!" greeted Tonks cheerful and turned around on her chair.

"Err, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Left my pullover...it should be here somewhere..." said Remus and his cheeks blushed slightly.

"No problem," said Tonks and stood up.

"This bloody shower is still acting up, I'll take a look at it...ah, there it is!" mumbled Remus and reached out to grab his pullover.

But Tonks was quicker and threw it onto the bed and out of his reach.

He just looked at her with a confused frown.

"Why don't you just stay like that?" asked Tonks temptingly and stepped up to him, stroking his bare chest with her flat hand.

"Well, because it's cold?" countered Remus helplessly and already felt his resistance melt away.

Not that there had been much resistance in the first place...

"I can change that," said Tonks grinning and leant against his chest so he had to lean back against the wall behind him.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea? You're probably pretty busy..." mumbled Remus in a husky voice while his arms automatically wrapped around her waist.

Tonks placed a tender kiss on his lips and looked at him with big, brown eyes.

"You want to tell me that you're not in the mood?" she asked and got even closer while her hands wandered down to his pants.

Remus couldn't bite back a muffled growl. Of course he wanted it, but full-moon was only a few days back and he didn't want to be too rough with her...

He felt his heart beating faster, pumping the blood through his veins...but not to his red cheeks this time.

"Dora, full-moon was only a few days ago, I don't know..." mumbled Remus while she started to kiss his neck.

"Don't you think You owe me one or two favours after all this secrets?" asked Tonks with a mischievous grin.

"Sure, of course-" replied Remus but she interrupted him.

"So what are you waiting for?" asked Tonks grinning and stroked down his back...

Suddenly a wide smile flashed Remus lips and before Tonks could react she was lying on her bed.

.

He started to kiss her and took her shirt off while she turned to his belt.

A few moments later they were already lying naked under the blanket, arms stroking down each other's back and placing kisses on lips, ears and necks.

He was really a bit more rough, she could tell.

After a few moments he was, maybe unwittingly, leaning over her and gently tried to push her knees apart with his own a few times. But she didn't want to give in so easily and grinned into the kisses she placed on his neck. He let out a chuckling growl.

"You're mean," whispered Remus into her ear.

"You deserve it," whispered Tonks back.

A little later they let go of each other. Breathing heavily the rolled onto their backs, embracing the sudden chill on their sweaty skin.

As soon as Tonks had calmed her breath she rolled onto her side and snuggled up against Remus' side, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin against her own.

With a gentle look in his eyes he looked down at her.

"Thanks for convincing me," growled Remus and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I have to thank you," grinned Tonks and stroked over his thigh which made him flinch at first.

"Really? Why?" asked Remus confused.

"Stop being so self-critical! It was great," said Tonks smiling.

"Well, that's great because I have no idea what I'm doing," chuckled Remus while he gently stroked her side with his thumb.

"I guess you just stop musing about doing something wrong, that's all. You just go with your guts...maybe a bit deeper. And it works, obviously," said Tonks smiling

"I love you, Dora!" said Remus grinning and kissed her.

"I love you, too," said Tonks softly and nuzzled his chin with her nose. "Let's stay in bed a while, alright?"

"I would like nothing better," replied Remus and wrapped the blanket tighter around them.

"Darling...how much longer should we keep it from the others, what do you think?" asked Tonks and moved her fingertip over his chest in invisible patterns.

"As long as you want to. I'll leave it up to you. But how are we supposed to break it to them? _Hey guys, we have to tell you something, we're a couple now. Anything new about dead Muggles?_ I don't know...seems awkward to me, but I don't have any better idea," mumbled Remus.

"Hmm, we'll manage somehow when it's time," replied Tonks smiling.

"So it will stay our secret a bit longer?" asked Remus with a beaming smile.

"I guess so," said Tonks winking. "I love to see you smile like that."

"You just do me good," said Remus in a husky voice and bent down to kiss her.

At that moment they didn't know that the question about the where and how of their confession would suddenly dissolve into thin air very soon...

.

A couple of minutes later they were eventually shooed out of bed by an owl scratching on the window.

And so they put their clothes back on and went down into the kitchen where Sirius and Ben where already waiting for them.

"What's that?" asked Sirius curiously when Remus sat down with them, pensively eyeing the still sealed envelope in his hands.

"It's from Kingsley...but from the Ministry, not private," mumbled Remus and nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"From Kingsley?" asked Tonks puzzled and stopped preparing the hot water for a few moments.

"Just open it, then you'll know it," suggested Ben shrugging his shoulders.

Remus slowly nodded and slid the envelope open. His eyes flickered over the parchment in his hands as he carefully read the letter, seemingly even two times. His expression changed from a deep frown into utter disbelief.

"So what is it?" asked Sirius impatiently while Tonks placed cups of hot tea in front of them.

"Thanks..." mumbled Remus not taking his eyes off the letter.

"Remus!" pushed Sirius, making Ben smirk at him from the side.

"He wants me to meet him at the Ministry after New Year because of...a job," said Remus confused, not quite believing his own words.

"Really? That's awesome!" said Ben first.

He knew how much it stressed Remus to be unemployed.

"Because of the Werewolf-post, right?" asked Tonks as it dawned to her.

"Werewolf-post?" asked Sirius confused, once again at loss.

"The post for the Werewolf affairs is vacant. They fired that asshole, don't you remember?" explained Remus with anger colouring his voice as he thought about Palmer.

"Well, they'll finally have someone who knows what he's talking about!" said Sirius cheerfully while Remus still didn't know what to think about all this.

"More than that!" added Ben and leant forward. "The Ministry considers recruiting a Werewolf! Don't you know what that means? It's...a milestone!"

"He's right, Remus! And they couldn't find a better man for this job," said Tonks grinning and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Ben smiled at this sight. There was so much love and closeness between them, Tonks would always be able to cheer him up, no matter what. Something he'd been missing for a long time...

"Okay, then I'll just meet with Kingsley. If he's writing an official letter chances are good it's serious, right? Merlin...that would be great," said Remus and smiled for the first time in minutes.

"Let's drink a toast to that. And to me soon finding someone who bears with me like Tonks does with Remus...or the other way around. Not forgetting Ben! We'll find someone nice for you, too," said Sirius winking and walked ahead into the living room where they spent the rest of the evening.

_At least I'm not the only lonely one here_, thought Ben and followed them into the living-room.

.

Still completely overwhelmed by the letter Remus sat down on the sofa. Tonks quickly snuggled up to him and carefully watched him for a few moments.

"Are you alright, darling?" asked Tonks softly and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Yes...I just still can't believe it...it feels like a bad joke. But I know Kingsley would never do this...am I really awake, Dora?" replied Remus insecurely.

"Ouch!" said the Werewolf chuckling as she pinched his side.

"No, I think you're wide awake. And it felt pretty real, too, earlier" whispered Tonks grinning.

"Come here," said Remus gently and opened his arm invitingly.

Tonks didn't waste any time and quickly rolled up in a ball in his arms, absent-mindedly stroking his stomach with her flat hand.

Ben looked up from her and just saw how Ben quickly looked away.

The way he was sitting in one of the armchairs, staring at the bottle of butterbeer in his hands, reminded Remus of Sirius and his firewhisky for a split second.

It had been a common picture in the past, any time Sirius threatened to drown in his depression and despair...

"Are you alright?" asked Remus carefully.

"Huh? Oh, yes, sure. I...I'm just happy for you two. I mean, you look so happy together. You just miss it sometimes, you know," admitted Ben blushing.

"You'll find somebody. Sometimes you meet somebody when you aren't searching at all," said Tonks softly and looked up at Remus.

The latter was surprised that her words were so similar to those he had used to comfort Sirius earlier that day.

"I know it doesn't help much. But we could go out together some time, maybe you'll meet someone nice! And if not we at least had a nice night out together," added Tonks with a bright smile and Ben finally smiled back at her.

He really liked Tonks. She had become a dear friend in the short time since they had met. Of course he trusted Remus, he would lay his life into his hands, but with Tonks it was different. She always knew what to say and understood how he felt.

"Thank you!" said Ben smiling, took a sip and looked away again, just to meet Sirius' gaze.

The Animagus was smiling at him and silently lifted his bottle.

Ben returned the gesture but at the same time he felt a curious burning sensation on his cheeks.

_Why are you blushing right now?!,_ thought Ben confused.

And now Ben thought he knew why dozens of girls had fallen for that smile in their school time...


	30. Happy New Year!

**Hey there, everyone! *group hug***

**Ooooh, what is going to happen in this chapter, it's such a mysterious title, oooh... ;)**

**Thanks to ****_Riecke_**** you get this chapter "before the weekend is over". Germans and their punctuality... :D**

**Are you already in the right Christmas spirit? If not, try and check out my little oneshot-collection "four little lights", maybe it will help.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's just a little, happy chapter and I tried my best to keep it funny and light-hearted. **

**I will upload the next chapter very soon, I promise! I'm planning on uploading it on Tuesday as a Christmas present for you all (in Germany we already get our presents on the 24th), but I'm so curious about your reaction that I might upload it earlier. Anyway, there are only two chapter left for this part of my story. But don't worry, there are already several chapters of the third part to translate. But it could be that I won't upload the third part as frequently because I only wrote about 17 chapters of it in German. But I'll try to keep on writing as quickly as possible. :)**

**Enough boring jabber! Enjoy the chap and tell me what you think about it! :3 **

***offering hot chocolate***

**xo PablosGirl**

Riecke: Thank you very much for your review, I really enjoyed reading it! :) I always find it hard myself to write more than "I loved/liked it, keep up the good work, curious for the next one, update soon". So I know what you mean ;) I'm really glad you like the Sirius/Ben idea. I was afraid that I might lose many readers because of it. But it will get pretty interesting between them, no simple happy-ever-after-story. "Sometimes I think this story is just how I wanted it all to turn out." Aww, that's great, but I'm afraid I won't be able to fulfil your wish for some Albus/Minerva. No timezone-joker? Damnit! ;) Enjoy the chapter and have a great lazy sunday!

Is A Bell X3: That dying whale noise...awesome :D I'm glad you liked it so much! I'm pretty sure you'll like the next chapter, too ;) go Berius, go, go! *waving pom-pom around* Okay, I'm not the cheerleader-type of girl, but I'd cheer for my favourite pairings anytime ;) Enjoy the chapter and have a great sunday!

danadanaBATMAN: Noo! No need to apologize! I hope your finals went well! :) I'm glad you liked the chapters. I just realized I'm singing your name in my head when I read it...dana dana BATMAN! :D Enjoy the next chapter and enjoy your sunday!

* * *

On the morning of New Year's Eve Ben woke up with a stiff, aching neck.

"Damnit..." he mumbled massaging his temples and decided that a warm shower would have to suffice.

And so he grabbed his stuff and shuffled across the hallway into the bathroom.

Letting out a big yawn, he took off his clothes, stepped into the shower and adjusted the water to a bearable temperature.

It was always luck of draw not to get burnt or freeze to death in such an old house.

He eventually turned up the water even more and flinched as it splashed everywhere but into his direction.

"Great," thought Ben annoyed but eventually he somehow managed to shower.

When he stepped out of the shower again his feet didn't land on tiles but in a small puddle.

With a long sigh and a swing of his wand he dried everything before he grabbed a towel for himself.

Lost in thought he opened the door and startled as he bumped into Remus in front of the room.

"Already took a shower, huh?" asked Remus with a knowing look as he saw Ben's annoyed expression.

"Me and the rest of the bathroom," replied Ben harsher than he intended to.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to fix it, it has been acting up for a while now..." said Remus apologetically.

"No, it's okay, I didn't mean it," mumbled Ben sheepishly.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look...worn out," said Remus and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Well...must've been sleeping in an odd position last night. I can barely move my neck...and the warm shower didn't turn out as planned," said Ben with a crooked smile.

"Ask Tonks for one of her hot-water-bottles, this should help. And you even get to choose between pink and violet," replied Remus grinning.

"Thanks, I'll do that," mumbled Ben smiling and went downstairs.

.

"Hey Tonks...Remus said you could lend me one of your hot-water-bottles," said Ben as he met Tonks in the hallway.

"Sure. What's wrong? Menstrual cramps?" asked Tonks grinning as she browsed her drawer.

"Very funny," laughed Ben leaning in the door frame. "I have a stiff neck. Didn't sleep well last night."

"Ah, there it is!" yelled Tonks triumphantly and held up the hot-water-bottles. "Pink or violet?"

"Choose for me, Remus already warned me about this," said Ben smiling.

"Here, take violet, it'll spare you a tiny bit of dignity," said Tonks winking and handed him the bottle.

"Thank you, Tonks," replied the Werewolf and went down into the kitchen with her.

"By the way, who else is going to be here tonight?" asked Ben as he filled the bottle with hot water.

"Um, I don't know if anyone is going to come over. Molly will be at home with Arthur and Mad-Eye and Kingsley have to work tonight. I'm afraid you'll have to settle with the three of us," said Tonks pensively.

"Okay, that's fine. Do you want a cup? The water is already hot anyway," asked Ben smiling and Tonks nodded gratefully.

And so the afternoon went by while everyone was occupied with their own stuff.

Ben tidied his room and tried to convince his neck to move at least a few centimetres to the side.

Tonks finished the reports she had left half-done the last day for some private time with Remus.

Sirius was looking after Buckbeak and Remus fought the bitchy shower head for a few hours.

.

Around nine in the evening they all met in the kitchen again to prepare some snacks.

"I still don't get what you want to do with all this cheese, Tonks" said Sirius laughing as Tonks brought a whole block of Gouda cheese and grapes from the pantry.

"Hey, we need those!" said Tonks and playfully hit his hand as Sirius grabbed some grapes.

"For what?" mumbled Sirius chewing.

"I'll make cheese snacks," replied Tonks casually.

"You'll make what?" asked Sirius and screwed up his face.

"Cheese snacks! Never heard of it before? I know it from my dad, it's a common snack on Muggle parties. Simple but good, you'll see," explained Tonks.

"Can we help you in any way?" asked Remus.

"Sure! You cut the cheese in small cubes and stick it on a toothpick with a grape. That's it," said Tonks and demonstrated it for them.

"Okay, sounds manageable," said Ben and helped Remus to cut the cheese while Sirius and Tonks looked after the grapes.

"I better chill the drinks," said Sirius grinning after a few minutes of boring snack stacking.

"How's your neck, Ben?" asked Tonks while she sat on her chair with legs crossed and kept stacking her snacks.

_Cheese, grape. _

_Cheese, grape._

_Grape, cheese._

"Damnit!"

_Grape off, cheese off. _

_Cheese, grape..._

_. _

They spent the rest of the waiting time until midnight in the living room with a huge pile of cheese bites, other snacks and, thanks to Sirius, more than enough alcohol.

"Well, guys! How about we spice up this conversation a bit? How about some embarrassing stories? When did you have your first time?" said Sirius who was already a little bit tipsy, grinning mischievously.

"Sirius!" laughed Tonks while Remus shook his head with a smile on his lips.

"Oh come on, we're all adults!" laughed Sirius and leant back in his armchair. "I was sixteen. Your turn, Moony."

"Really? I think you know very well when I had my first time," said Remus and Ben's eyes widened. "No, Ben, not what you think...I was seventeen, my dear Padfoot, and it was all due to you because you got me drunk and set me up with some Ravenclaw."

"Hey! She was pretty hot!" replied Sirius laughing. "What about you, coz?"

"Eighteen. My first serious relationship, but it didn't work out. Thankfully," said Tonks and patted Remus' stomach with a loving look.

"Ben?" asked Sirius.

"Well...I was already 20...I was pretty occupied with orientating myself, if you know what I mean," replied Ben with a crooked smile and blushed.

"I like it if you take your time," said Tonks smiling.

"So do I, actually..." growled Remus towards Sirius.

.

"Okay, now it's my turn to ask you something," said Ben. "What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?"

"That's not fair, Tonks has too much to choose from!" said Sirius grinning.

"Shut up, you mutt!" hissed the Auror immediately and threw a pillow at his head.

"I think the most embarrassing moment for me was the morning after said birthday and the days after it...I couldn't look at her for weeks," said Remus and screwed up his face.

"I don't mind, if that's what you're hinting at. But I really have to think about that one. I think it has to be my first day at the Aurors' office. I rushed through the office and stumbled. I crashed into a huge pile of records which had just been organized. They went flying everywhere and I ruined three days worth of work. You can imagine Mad-Eye's reaction," explained Tonks and even blushed a little bit.

"I once woke up in front of the teacher's room after a party. Only in my boxers and full of ink drawings. The next days were awful and plastered with extra essays," said Sirius and took another sip.

"I think it was the day I told my then friends that I was gay..." mumbled Ben and regretted his own question.

"They weren't pretty supportive I guess," said Tonks and screwed up her nose.

"Well, do you see any of my so called friends around here?" asked Ben with a crooked smile bit his voice was free from sadness. "You're it, Remus."

Remus thought about it for a while before he asked his, rather boring, question.

"Well, I don't know...do you have any New Year's resolutions?"

"I don't know...my life already changed a lot recently...um..." thought Ben aloud.

"Okay, you can pass this one," said Tonks grinning.

"I think it's the same old one for me, finding a job. Maybe I'm closer to it than ever before," said Remus.

"I want a job, too. Just to make a new start, you could say. And I want to find a woman," said Sirius.

"Check," said Remus chuckling and placed a lingering kiss on Tonks' hair.

"Cheers!" toasted Sirius and the others joined in. "What about you, Tonks?"

"I want to learn to cook. Improve my household skills in general," replied Tonks with a crooked grin. "Now it's my turn...what would you guys do if you were a woman for one day?"

"Whoa, I think I would spend all day-" said Sirius and looked down at his hands he had placed on his chest.

"We get it, Padfoot!" interrupted Remus while Tonks burst out into laughter.

"I would wrap up in a blanket and eat chocolate all day without anyone judging me for it," said Remus laughing.

"Aww, poor wolfie," joked Tonks and patted his head.

"I think I'd go shopping without being branded a sissyish gay guy," said Ben winking. "What about you? What would you do as a man, Tonks?"

"I would have sex, no doubt!" answered Tonks like a shot.

Remus nearly choked on his butterbeer next to her and started coughing violently.

"Don't worry, not with you! No offence, Ben! But if you'd turn into a woman the same day, why not?" said Tonks with a mischievous grin.

"I think I better go get some more butterbeer..." said Remus and left the room.

.

They kept chatting and joking the remaining time until midnight. When it eventually was time to ring in the new year they climbed up the old, dusty attic to look out of the big, opened rooflight.

10...

9...

8...

7...

Remus squeezed Ben's shoulder and smiled at him while Sirius drunkenly shouted the countdown into the night.

"SIX! FIVE!"

"Sirius!"

"Okay, okay!"

Tonks snuggled up to Remus' chest and looked up at him with a loving smile.

4...

3...

2...

1...

"WOHOOOO! Happy New Year!" shouted Sirius into the night sky which quickly filled with colourful fireworks and the smell of black powder.

"Happy New Year," whispered Remus and kissed Tonks.

Ben was standing next to them feeling a bit lost until Sirius suddenly grabbed him, wrapped his arms around him and placed a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Happy New Year!" said Sirius grinning.

"Happy New Year, Sirius," laughed Ben before Sirius turned around and grabbed Remus, too.

"Come here, Moony!" said Sirius and gifted Remus with another wet kiss.

Tonks was happy he only lifted her up and spun her around a few times.

For the next half hour they just looked out into London's lit up night sky.

The sharp silhouette of the city was illuminated by flickering, colourful lights every few seconds. Tonks thought that the view was amazing from up here. The sky looked like it was covered in confetti.

Around two in the morning Remus and Tonks left the living room they had returned to in the meantime to go to bed.

"Don't overdo it, okay! I don't want to fix the whole house tomorrow," said Remus grinning and left the room with Tonks.

"How about we ring in the new year on our own?" asked Tonks tempting.

"I have no objections..." growled Remus and lifted her up to carry her up the stairs.

Sirius and Ben cheerfully opened another bottle of whisky in the meantime.

"To the new year!" slurred Sirius and lifted his glass.

"To alcohol!" added Ben.

"Ahaaa!" said Sirius and bent forwards. "For this you deserve your own toast, my dear Benjamin!"

Ben immediately burst out into laughter and emptied his glass with Sirius.

At this point none of the two knew that a big hangover wouldn't be the only thing they'd have to worry about the next morning...


	31. rude awakening

**Merry Christmas everyone! *festive group hug***

**I told you I'd upload today as a present, so here it is: "rude awakening"**

**It's one of my personal favourites because of all the trouble happening in it and because it brings a twist to the whole story.**

**So, I really hope you enjoy reading it and that you like what you read ;) I'd really love to hear your opinion about it, so leave a review after you've read it. It would make my Christmas even better! Constructive critique, suggestions and questions are very welcome as well, of course ;)**

**Now that it's Christmas I want to thank all of you once again for reading this story. Writing this story became so much more fun since I uploaded it here and it always takes my mind off the bad things in life. So even if you don't leave a review, thank you very much for reading! And to those who review frequently and gave me much appreciated feedback all the way through: thank you so much! Reading your creative and funny comments always brings a smile to my face! :3 Thank you all for taking the time!**

**Enough boring author talk...I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate)! Spend some time with your loved ones and relax from school, work or final exams!**

***handing out hot chocolate, egg-nog and cookies***

**xo PablosGirl**

ShadowHermione2211: Thank you very much for your review! :) I'm glad you liked it and I hope you'll like this one, too! Merry Christmas!

Is A Bell X3: Awww yeah! Cheeeeese! ^^ Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad you liked the last chapter of "four little lights" :) I'd love to use Merlin in this story, but I think it would be in a different way, we'll see. Maybe I'll make a oneshot-collection of Remus, Sirius and Merlin. I don't know yet, but I think it could be fun... *thinking of chewed shoes and muddy paw prints on the floor* Well, Berius is going to be pretty complicated in the future ;) You'll see. I hope you enjoy the chapter! Merry Christmas!

danadanaBATMAN: It is indeed *singing in my head* :D I'm glad you liked it and that my evil cliffhanger worked out once more...MUHAHAHA! ;) Enjoy the chapter! Merry Christmas!

* * *

"Good morning, wolfie. Happy New Year," whispered Tonks with a blissful smile as she snuggled closer to the dozing Remus.

"Happy New Year," mumbled the Werewolf without opening his eyes and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Did you sleep well?" mumbled the young witch.

"I'm actually still in the middle of sleeping..." said Remus smirking.

"Oh, sorry. Then we'll just stay in bed a little longer," replied Tonks smiling and nuzzled his chest with her nose.

They just lay there like that for several minutes, cuddling and dozing, when suddenly a sound from upstairs made them perk their ears up.

"Was that a door?" asked Remus and sat up a bit.

"Maybe Sirius just wants to go to the bathroom..." mumbled Tonks, shrugged her shoulders and lay down again.

"Hm, you're probably right. I'd just be surprised if they're already awake again," thought Remus aloud and eventually snuggled against his girlfriend.

And so they peacefully dozed off again.

.

Only several minutes before, Sirius had slowly woken up in his room, now merely in a light doze.

He was lying in his warm bed, the sun was setting outside his window and yet he felt an annoying headache he couldn't ignore.

_At least I'm not feeling sick,_ thought the Animagus and woke up a little more, his eyes still closed.

_Was that a rustling noise? _

_Ah, whatever, probably the alcohol..._

He wrapped his blanket tighter around himself with a grumble, feeling the soft, warm cotton on his skin...on his skin?

He quickly pulled the hand from under his head and accidently bushed against something next to him...something warm. He flinched and pressed his eyelids together.

_Damnit, Sirius! How much did you drink last night? Where did you drag up a woman so quickly? _

_Woman?_

The skin his hand had brushed was warm, yes, but it wasn't as soft and silky as it had been in his memory of his youth.

Maybe it was just too long ago and his head tricked him.

The piercing ache in his head nearly made him disregard this puzzle for now and solve it later, when the alleged woman next to him grumbled in her sleep with a thick, dark voice.

_Merlin, where did I get this chick? Maybe that's why her skin...,_ thought Sirius and finally brought himself to open his eyes.

For a few seconds he was paralyzed, unable to say or do anything.

"What the hell?!" said Sirius loudly and the person next to him awoke with a start, flinched and fell from the bed, tangled up in another blanket.

.

There hadn't been a woman lying next to him when Sirius opened his eyes...no bulky woman with facial hair, as he had feared...no, it was worse!

He had seen brought shoulders, a straight body without any curves, suspiciously thick hair on the forearms and short hair on the head.

Completely in shock, Sirius sat up, supporting himself on his elbows and stared down at the person on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket and utterly confused.

Ben shook his head...oh, his head was killing him.

_Wait...where was he? _

_Ah, yeah, Grimmauldplace...New Year's Eve, he was probably in his room..._

"BEN?!" yelled a familiar voice and snapped him out of his drowsy thoughts so he looked up.

_Sirius?!,_ thought Ben puzzled.

What the fuck was going on?

Why was Sirius laying in his bed...his bed?

No, this wasn't his room...

For a few, achingly long moments the two men just stared at each other in shock, unable to say a single word.

"What are you doing here?" hissed Sirius and pulled his blanket up, now that he was sure he was butt naked under it.

"I...I have no idea," stammered Ben honestly confused.

"What were you doing in my bed?!" yelled Sirius again.

"Maybe I just mixed up the rooms last night," replied the Werewolf desperately; this was just too much to process for him right now.

"And why on earth are you naked, then?!" asked Sirius furiously.

_Naked?,_ thought Ben to himself and dared to take a look under his blanket...and swallowed hard.

"Fuck!" slipped out of his mouth and at the same moment he noticed his clothes lying on the floor around him.

"Get out!" hissed Sirius.

"Sirius! We don't even know-"

"OUT!" growled the Animagus and pointedly looked away so Ben could put his clothes back on.

Ben's head threatened to explode from all this sudden input and the headache and he suddenly felt nauseated...he didn't even know what had happened, why he was here...

He had just woken up on the hard floor and now?

"Sirius, I'm sorry, I-" mumbled Ben pleadingly as he turned around in the door frame.

"Do I really have to repeat myself?" growled Sirius and Ben left.

.

Ben just stood in the hallway for a few seconds, feeling completely lost.

The house was still again; even Remus and Tonks seemed to be asleep. But inside his head, everything was spinning. The last minutes had rattled him.

Unable to process what had just happened, Ben sneaked into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower before he put some new clothes on, packed his stuff and left.

Sirius had dropped back into the pillows again in the meantime.

_It didn't happen, it didn't happen...it was just a dream...a nightmare!_

But no matter how hard he screwed up his eyes to open them again, no matter how often he pinched himself...the walls didn't change and the same, strange scent clung to the warm sheets on the other side of his bed.

These brought shoulders next to him, Ben's thunderstruck look, the panic inside his eyes...all this didn't leave his mind.

_Ben!_

Sirius' head was still booming with pain as he closed the curtains and hid under his blanket.

When Ben entered his flat, he was welcomed by a similar picture.

The curtains were closed; only thin lines of light fell into the room.

No decorations, no cheery atmosphere, no warmth to greet him.

He was alone and every square inch of his flat seemed to shout at him.

_You're alone!_

He let out a long sigh and dropped onto his sofa, burying his face in his hands...

What was he supposed to do now?

He was back at his flat, alone and by himself as it used to be.

He had to talk with Sirius...but he wouldn't want that, he had made that more than clear.

Of course, he had been confused, even angry at him...but Ben didn't even know himself how this could happen.

But _what_ exactly?

What had actually happened?

Sirius was accusing him, that was obvious...who could blame him? After all it was him who was into men...Sirius probably thought that he..._no!_

He had fucked it up big time; he wouldn't even dare to look at him again...

Now, of all times, that he had finally found friends and finally felt accepted and happy again...

In his desperation, Ben just stood up and made himself a cup of tea.

.

About one hour later, Tonks walked down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Hey! You already made breakfast," she said smiling and inhaled the smell of fresh coffee and toast.

"I thought I might do you a favour," said Remus smirking and sat down.

"After the big favour last night?" replied Tonks with a mischievous grin.

"What do you think, when will our two boozers wake up?" asked Tonks after a while of silent toast-chewing and tea-sipping.

"I don't know. Judging from those empty whisky bottles in the living room I'd say in a few hours," replied Remus.

"Let's clean up together; I can train my household-charm-skills and it won't take that long," suggested Tonks and took a sip of tea.

"I doubt you're little training session will fasten things up, but okay. How about we prepare dinner together? I think they could use something in their stomachs," said Remus.

"What? What about my cheese bites?" asked Tonks faux-scandalized.

"I'm afraid those cheese snacks won't beat Shepherd's Pie when it comes to sobering up two grown men," replied Remus winking.

"Yeah, probably," admitted Tonks smiling and placed a kiss on his cheek before clearing the table.

.

Ben had started to clean his apartment in the meantime.

Maybe it was better if he got his mind off things for a while...if it only were that easy.

Sirius wouldn't talk to him anyway although they both had no clue what had really happened between them.

He and Sirius...the idea was absurd.

Sirius was straight to the bone, he was the paragon of straightness...and he didn't even want anything from Sirius, even though he had to admit that there was something attractive about him.

He just had to forget about it, act like it never even happened, that would be the easiest way, yes...

.

Remus was standing in the kitchen a little later as Tonks entered the room.

"It's still so quiet upstairs, they must be pretty hung over," said Tonks.

"Could you mash the potatoes for me? I'll go feed Buckbeak, poor thing hasn't eaten anything today," replied Remus.

And so Tonks took his place at the kitchen counter and Remus went upstairs.

"Hey there, big boy," mumbled Remus as he placed the sack of dead rats in the corner of the room and bowed down in front of the hippogriff.

Buckbeak lowered his feathered head and cried for his food.

"Yes, I know, you're hungry. Here, catch!" said Remus and threw him some rats he caught in mid-air with its beak.

"Well, then, I'll go check on your master and Ben," said Remus eventually and ruffled Buckbeak's head before he left the room again.

"Ben? Are you awake?" asked Remus through the door but he didn't get any answer.

So he walked over to the bathroom, but it was empty, too.

"Ben? Are you alright? I'll come in, okay?" said Remus as he tried it again at Ben's door.

But he wasn't there, no Ben. The room itself looked suspiciously empty...no clothes, the bed was made.

"Hmm," mumbled Remus and decided to ask Sirius instead.

"Sirius?" asked the Werewolf as he knocked on his door. "I'm coming in."

When he looked at the bed, Remus was confused at first. There was no man, but a big shaggy, black dog, rolled up in a ball.

"Are you alright, padfoot? Why did you transform?" asked Remus and sat down on the bed to ruffle the dog behind its ears.

But the dog just looked up at him with big, puppy eyes.

"Ben's gone...do you know where he is?" asked Remus and opened the curtains.

"No idea," lied a hoarse voice behind Remus' back but when he turned around again he just saw the dog.

"What's the matter, Sirius?" asked Remus confused and a little bit annoyed. "I just wanted to ask you how you feel. We're preparing dinner, Shepherd's Pie. I thought you could use some food. Just come down into the kitchen, alright?"

The dog lifted its head, sniffed and licked its chaps.

"Are they still asleep?" asked Tonks cheerfully as Remus entered the kitchen again and covered the meat and vegetables with mashed potatoes.

"Yeah, well...Sirius is hiding in his room as a dog and Ben is nowhere to be found. His room is empty, no clothes, nothing," explained Remus.

"What? Where did he go?" asked Tonks frowning.

"I don't know," said Remus and shrugged his shoulders. "I'll ask Sirius again. Judging from all this slobber he'll be here soon. He told me he doesn't know anything about it, but after all he was the last one to see him."

"Strange," mumbled Tonks and put the baking dish into the oven.

"Let's go into the living room until it's ready," suggested Remus and they sat down on the sofa.

"Darling?" asked Tonks after a while, stroking his chest unwittingly.

"Hmm?" mumbled Remus gently at the sound of his nickname.

"I'm already looking forward to spending the new year with you," said Tonks smiling.

"Me too," replied Remus and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, no matter what."

"I love you too, Dora."

.

When they took the Shepherd's Pie out of the oven and set up the table a little later, Sirius stepped through the door. He must have just taken a shower because his hair was still wet.

"Hey! Got a headache, huh?" greeted Tonks him grinning.

"Hm? Oh, yeah..." grumbled Sirius and sat down.

For a few minutes they just sat there and ate in silence.

"And you really have no idea where Ben could be?" asked Remus him again, turning his fork in his hand.

"Why should I know where he went?" asked the Animagus with a frown.

"Well, you were the last one to see him, right?" asked Tonks slightly surprised about his reaction.

"Yes. We just took some more drinks and then...we obviously went to sleep," said Sirius and swallowed the bite in his mouth. "I don't know when he left."

"Hm, okay. I'll just send him a Patronus then," said Remus.

"Good idea, I'm pretty worried already," added Tonks.

Sirius, however, remained silent.

.

A silver wolf floated into Ben's apartment only minutes later.

"Ben, where are you? We're worried," sounded Remus' voice from the Patronus.

"Of course they are..." mumbled Ben to himself and felt guilty as he thought about how he had just disappeared without a word.

And so he thought of the reunion with the boys and summoned a Patronus.

"I'm fine," lied Ben. "I'll be at home for a while. Don't worry."

Exhausted and hungry he shuffled into the kitchen and opened the pantry but he was greeted with emptiness.

Of course...why should he keep groceries in there if he stayed at Grimmauldplace for several days?

So he made another cup of tea and just wanted to drop on his sofa again when the doorbell rang.

He carefully walked to the door, his wand in his hand, ready to attack, and looked through the peephole.

"Tonks?" asked Ben surprised.

"Can I come in?" asked the door.

He hesitated for a second but then opened up.

Why shouldn't he let her in? She hadn't done anything...

"Hey," greeted the pink haired witch with a worried smile.

"Come on in," said Ben with a forced smile and led her into the living-room. "What's that?"

"Shepherd's Pie Remus and I made. It's still warm. I thought you might be hungry," said Tonks and placed the aluminium foil covered plate on the table in front of him.

"And how...thank you," mumbled Ben and blushed.

"Just eat! Don't worry about me, I see how hungry you are," laughed Tonks and sat down, too.

"I'll at least make you a cup of tea," replied Ben, got himself a fork from the drawer and placed another steaming cup in front of her.

"Why did you leave so suddenly? And why didn't you tell us about it? A little note would have been enough," asked Tonks curiously and warmed her hands on her cup.

Ben sighed and leant back in his chair.

"It...it's complicated...and confusing. And I just want to forget about it...I don't know," said Ben, struggling for words.

"Alright. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it...but, well. It must've have happened between midnight and today's afternoon, right?" said Tonks with a crooked smile.

"Yes..." mumbled Ben nodding. "It's just...I don't know if I should tell you. But...I just can't forget about it and act as if nothing ever happened."

"Come on, spit it out, Ben. What's the problem? You look miserable. And I think it's not only due to huge amounts of alcohol. You'll feel better if you talk about it," said Tonks softly.

"Let's see what you think about it after I told you..." said Ben and sniffed sarcastically. "Well then..."

"I'm all ears," replied Tonks and took a sip of tea.

.

"Oh screw it..." mumbled Ben and started to explain. "The only thing I remember of last night is that you two went upstairs and Sirius and I kept on drinking for a while...firewhisky I think. We talked and laughed...nothing spectacular. But in the morning..."

Tonks slowly raised her eyebrows.

"...I suddenly woke up and fell out of bed. And that's when Sirius started yelling at me...what I'd be doing in his room...naked. Then he chucked me out. I have no idea what even happened or why I was in his room. I swear, Tonks! I just didn't know what to do. I was so confused, still am to be honest. So I just packed my stuff and left."

He finally dared to look up again, his eyes full of despair, while Tonks just stared at him for a few moments, her jaw dropped.

"And you can't remember anything? Nothing at all?" asked Tonks carefully.

"No, that's the point! If I knew what happened I'd tell him. But he didn't even give me the change to say anything; he didn't want to hear me, Tonks! He'll think I did Merlin knows what with him because he was drunk...fuck...I never even thought about something like that!" said Ben desperately and hid his face in his hands.

"Hey, calm down. I believe you, Ben. Don't worry. But...don't you think you'd know if you two, you know..." asked Tonks hesitantly and blushed.

"I...well, we were both naked...but I never did anything while I was drunk, so...I can't be sure. I just don't remember anything, Tonks," explained Ben and the look in his eyes nearly killed her. "I screwed it all up."

"Don't say that! He'll calm himself again and he'll talk to you. You'll sort things out, that's the only option," said Tonks with a worried frown and took his hand across the table.

But then her expression changed; she clenched her teeth and looked out of the window.

.

"What's wrong?" asked Ben as he noticed the change in her mood and thankfully squeezed her hand before letting go of it again.

"We asked Sirius if he knew where you went. He told us he had no clue where you could be. This bloody bullhead...he'd never tell us about it by choice. And we're sitting next to him...completely worried about you," explained Tonks.

"See, he doesn't even want to talk about it with you! Why should he talk to the man who was lying next to him butt naked this morning?!" said Ben feebly.

"Ben, nobody knows if something has happened at all! Maybe you were too drunk to find your own bed and lay down in his without realizing it. Sure, it would be embarrassing, but not that big of a deal," said Tonks, trying to calm him down.

"Naked?!" asked Ben loudly. "Nobody knows if sleeping was the only thing we did, either!"

"Ben, calm down, okay? How about you come with me, maybe we can sort things out," suggested Tonks and squeezed his shoulder.

"How are we supposed to sort this out? I woke up next to the _Stallion of Hogwarts_ and we both have a mental blackout," replied Ben.

"I think I once read something about a potion, Recordarius-potion or something like that. It brings back lost memories. And I'm pretty sure a Pensieve can bring back suppressed memories, too. At least you'd have certainty..." said Tonks.

"I'm not sure if I want that anymore...I don't know anything anymore. Let alone Sirius...he didn't even hear me out. And how should we get this potion at all? Or a Pensieve?" mumbled Ben with his hands in front of his face muffling the words.

"That shouldn't be the problem. I think we have an old Pensieve at the Aurors' office, Merlin knows why. And we'd probably get the potion somewhere, too," answered Tonks. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

"Can I take council with my pillow about that?" asked Ben, looking extremely tired and exhausted.

"Of course. But don't forget about the Order meeting the day after tomorrow. You'll meet him again then anyway," said Tonks and stood up. "I guess I should leave or Remus will start to worry. Is it okay if I tell him about it?"

"Sure, no problem," said Ben as he walked her to the door.

"Even at the risk of him tearing Sirius into pieces?" asked Tonks smirking.

"I'm already in deep shit, it can't be much worse if you tell him," said Ben with an uneasy smile.

"I'll be there for you if you need me. And so is Remus, of course. He made me promise to tell you again. He almost came here himself. But we thought you might prefer my company at first, because he's his best friend, you know..." said Tonks smiling.

"What would I do without you?" replied Ben smiling and embraced her.

"Bye Ben, keep your head up, it will be alright," said Tonks and disapparated.

As soon as Tonks came home she dropped down onto the sofa next to Remus, letting out a long sigh.

"What's wrong? Is it something bad?" asked Remus worried.

"You have no idea," replied Tonks and turned her head to look at him...


	32. that bloody shirt

**Hey everyone! *group hug***

**What? Only two comments on the last chapter? :( Bad readers, baaad readers! That means no chocolate for you this time...okaaaay, you'll get chocolate anyway. ;) **

**This is it...yes, I can't believe it myself, but this is the last chapter of "It's just the way it is". It's extra long and I really hope that you enjoy it! So do me a favour and leave a comment :) I'll reply via pm. **

**Don't worry, there'll be a third part to this story but it will be a bit more serious. I know this story got pretty AU on the way, but after all it's more or less the first and same fanfiction story line I ever thought up. **

**Apart from this I think that there's still a lot to improve about my writing. I'm not a native-speaker and it could be worse, I know. But I'd like to get better, write more fluently and less descriptional...less paratactical, more hypotactical. Just more vivid and natural, you know. So I'd be glad for any advice from you guys :)**

** So...whether we'll see each other again at the third part or not: It's been a pleasure and I really enjoyed translating my story for you guys! A big thank you to all of you who read this story, no matter if you reviewed or not...yes, I'm looking at you, review-dodger! ;) **

**At this point I want to thank some of you in particular because you stayed with me throughout this whole story with your feedback! So, big hugs to remusdora, danadanaBATMAN, Is A Bell X3, the 394thdauntlesscake, Riecke, JKStorm501, Aereal and f3y-chan! I hope I didn't forget anyone. Thank you so much, your reviews made all the translation-work worth it! *hugs everyone***

**Have fun, enjoy and leave a comment! Pablo and I will reward it with hugs and slobbery dog kisses :) *offering chocolate bars and fluffy blankets***

**xo PablosGirl**

Riecke: I'm not sure if I already replied to your review via pm, so I'll do it again :) better safe than sorry ;) I'm glad you liked it and don't worry about the reviews. It's always great if people review because it means that they really read the chapter and because you know what they thought about it. But I'm already content if I see a review from the same person from time to time so I know that they are still reading (and enjoying) it. :) I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Enjoy the chapter!

danadanaBATMAN: Thank you for your review! :) I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, too! Enjoy the last chapter; I'd be glad to hear what you think about it and what will happen next ;)

* * *

"What do you mean?" asked Remus in a worried tone.

"I'll only tell you if you massage my feet," said Tonks grinning and he quickly pulled her feet into his lap.

"Okay, shoot," said Remus still as nervous.

"Alright...Ben left because he had to clear his mind. Unfortunately it didn't work out as planned...anyway, it has something to do with this morning...it's so strange...", said Tonks.

"Dora?!" said Remus to hurry her up.

"What? Oh, sorry. To make it short: Ben woke up pretty roughly today and fell from the bed. He first thought it was his bed, but it wasn't. Because then Sirius started yelling at him; what he was doing in his room, yada yada yada. They were both naked...in Sirius' bed. And they both have a blackout, they have no idea what happened last night. Anyway, Sirius threw him out and Ben was completely desperate and confused. So he just went home. Sirius didn't even listen to him and Ben told me that he was pretty pissed off. You can imagine how Ben must feel now, right?" explained Tonks, carefully watching Remus' reaction.

But the Werewolf just stared back at her for a few moments with an incredulous frown on his face.

"You're kidding, aren't you?" asked Remus tonelessly.

"No! I'm not, I swear! Ben didn't want to come back with me either because he thinks that Sirius doesn't want to talk to him or even see him anyway," replied Tonks and sat up, her feet still in Remus' lap.

"So Sirius woke up next to him, with a complete blackout, and throws him out like that? Yells at him? And then he even has the nerve to tell us he has no idea while we're obviously worried about Ben?! " asked Remus upset and made a move to stand up.

.

But Tonks had already quickly sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Calm down first, okay? Don't just maul him to death!" said Tonks laughing.

"Tonks! Let go of me!" protested Remus, struggling to bite back his amusement.

"Only if you promise me that you calm down," said Tonks smiling and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Alright..." gave Remus in and started to relax.

"I don't think it would be helpful to bite Sirius' head off. I know you're angry. So was I when I saw how miserable Ben was. He looks awful and the uncertainty bothers him. I tried to comfort him; no one knows if anything happened at all! But he's too pessimistic...no wonder the way Sirius' reacted. But let's think about Sirius! What do you think how he feels about it? Try to put yourself in his place; how would you react?" said Tonks calmly.

"I'd be shocked...of course. But I'd want to know what happened, just to be sure. I have to talk to him, Dora. He's been hiding in his room all day. He told me he wishes for a real relationship for a while...but with a woman! You heard what he said last night. The last time he had a girlfriend was around Harry's birth; then came Azkaban and then he was on the run from the Ministry. And now? Now he wakes up next to a naked guy. He's probably utterly confused. I don't think that he wanted to hurt Ben in any way, but after all it's Sirius. His mouth can be faster than his head, sometimes," said Remus and sighed.

"That runs in the family, huh?" asked Tonks grinning.

"Obviously," replied Remus smiling and kissed her. "I should go upstairs and talk to him. Make yourself a cup, you're feet are ice-cold."

With these words he left the room.

.

"Sirius? Can I come in? I have to talk to you," said Remus as he knocked on Sirius' door.

An unintelligible murmur was the only answer and so Remus generously interpreted it as a yes.

"Really, Padfoot? Still?" asked Remus sniffing sarcastically as he spotted Sirius on his bed, still in the form of the big black dog.

"Come on, you can't hide in here forever," said Remus in a calm voice and sat down on the bed.

A few seconds later the human Sirius was sitting next to him again, rubbing his face with his hands.

His hair was shaggy as the dogs' and the dark circles around his eyes and his stubbly cheeks didn't make him look any better.

"There's nothing to talk about, Remus," grumbled Sirius.

"Well, as I see it there's a lot to talk about. You've been sitting in your dark room all day...and you lied to us," replied Remus, curious for his reaction.

"What?" asked Sirius confused and knitted his brows.

"Sirius, is there anything you want to tell me?" asked Remus again.

"I'm just having a shitty day..." mumbled Sirius.

Remus sighed, looking at his old friend with a crooked smile.

"Sirius...Ben told us what happened," said Remus carefully and Sirius looked up at him in shock.

"What exactly did he tell you?!" asked Sirius suddenly upset.

"What? He...well. Oh! No! Listen, Sirius," stammered Remus as he realized what Sirius meant. "Ben's got a blackout, he has no memory of last night. He only told Tonks what happened this morning. And he feels awful because of it."

"Does he?" huffed Sirius sarcastically. "What did he expect? That I'd enjoy waking up next to him?! I have no idea what happened or what he did with me!"

"Sirius! Stop talking shit you don't believe yourself! Do you really think Ben would take advantage of you being drunk and...abuse you in your own bed? See! That's nonsense! And I know that you're still capable of fighting back, no matter how drunk you are. You'd never let anything happen you don't want to happen unless you're in a coma," replied Remus.

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you think I wanted it?!" bawled Sirius out.

"Merlin, Sirius! That you wanted WHAT? How do you know if anything happened at all? You have to bring back those memories, unless you'll never be sure of it! You can't carry on like that!" replied Remus annoyed.

"I don't know and I don't care. I actually don't even want to know what happened! We were naked, Remus! Both of us! What more need be said?!" said Sirius desperately with sagging shoulders.

"Let's say...something happened between you. Yes, I agree, it would be hard to carry on as if nothing ever happened. But let's assume that nothing happened, and the chances are fifty-fifty, then you were just too drunk, took your clothes off and fell asleep. You could laugh about that, don't you think?" said Remus, trying to convince his old friend. "At least you'll have certainty and there's a fifty percent chance that everything goes back to normal and maybe you won't drink as much next time."

For a few moments Sirius didn't say anything. He just sat there, thoughts running through his mind, until he eventually looked up at Remus, looking extremely tired.

"Maybe you're right, but I want to think about it first...it's all just so...complicated," mumbled Sirius.

"I know, Padfoot," said Remus relieved and patted his shoulder. "At least you two agree on that. Ben doesn't know what to do, either. He's afraid you might blame him for it..."

"Yeah...I kind of regret my reaction...I shouldn't have yelled at him like that..." mumbled Sirius as he massaged his temples.

"I'll leave you alone again, Padfoot. You know where we are if you need anything," said Remus with a small smile on his lips. He patted his shoulder again and left the room.

.

"How was it?" asked Tonks curiously as he entered the living-room again.

"Well...it was pretty Sirius-ish . Everything from depressive to hysterical. But he said he'd think about recovering the memories. And he regrets the way he yelled at Ben," explained Remus.

"It's something. But I'm afraid it will take a while until they sort things out. What do we do now?" asked Tonks.

"Hmm, our two best friends are quarrelling, everything's way too complicated, sooo..." said Remus smirking.

"Hot chocolate?" replied Tonks grinning and jumped up to go to the kitchen.

"And that's why I love you so much!" said Remus laughing as he followed her.

.

The next day, Tonks went back to work again; she decided to go visit Ben after her shift before returning home, to see how he was doing. Remus was doing the domestic work while Sirius was still moping around the house, leaving his room as little as possible.

When Tonks returned home around seven in the evening and entered the kitchen, she let out an exhausted sigh and draped her coat over one of the heavy wooden chairs.

To her surprise Sirius was in the kitchen, too, greeting her moodily.

"Hey..." grumbled the Animagus.

"Hey, how was your day?" asked Tonks, supporting herself on the chair in front of her.

"Hrrmm."

"Well, so was mine...do you know where Remus is?" replied Tonks tiredly.

"Upstairs," grumbled Sirius, stirring his tea in the most bored fashion possible.

"Okay, thanks for the nice chat," joked Tonks and walked up the creaking stairs.

But when she pushed open the door to her bedroom, she got another, but this time pleasant, surprise.

"What are you up to?" asked Tonks cheerfully as she spotted Remus smiling at her and what he had done with her room.

"Well, I thought I'd make your evening a bit better. You looked so stressed in the morning, you know," said Remus, pleased with the successful surprise.

He had lit a few candles, her bed was made, waiting for her with its cuddly pillows, and her body oil was already waiting for use on the bedside table.

Remus got up from his chair next to the window and closed the book he had been reading before walking over to Tonks to pull her into his arms.

"How was your day?" asked the Werewolf gently as she gratefully leant against his chest.

"Well, could have been worse, could have been better...a lot of annoying paper work, stress and Ben's not the greatest joker at the moment either. Just like this sour old man down in the kitchen," replied Tonks, nuzzling his chest with her cheek.

"It's about time they clear this up for good," mumbled Remus, steering Tonks onto her bed.

"How about a back massage?"

"And my poor feet?" asked Tonks, pouted and looked up at him with her best puppy eyes.

"Aye-aye, sir!" said Remus amused.

Tonks didn't waste any time. She pulled her hoodie over her head, opened her bra and lay down on her stomach, an expecting smile playing on her lips.

.

"By the way, when are you meeting Kingsley?" mumbled Tonks into the mattress.

"Hmm, I don't know. I wanted to wait until tomorrow and ask him when it would be okay for him," said Remus shrugging his shoulders.

"Tomorrow's going to be bad," mumbled Tonks.

"Why?" asked Remus, tilting his head.

"Well, the others will be here for the meeting so I'll need to act like we're just friends or flatmates for a few hours," explained Tonks.

"Oh yeah, right...don't worry, we'll survive it," replied Remus. "Apart from that you leave for work after lunch which means that we have all morning together."

"Yeah..." mumbled Tonks sleepily until she dozed off during the next minute.

"Hey, Dora? How about we postpone that foot massage until tomorrow?" whispered Remus into her ear with a smirk on his lips before he lay down next to her.

With a blissful smile on his lips he pulled the woman closer into his arms, feeling her skin on his own, and a warm sensation went down his spine. No, there'd be enough time for this tomorrow. He looked at the pink hair falling onto his chest and a loving smile played on his lips. His scarred hands gently caressed her pale, soft skin and Remus shook his head, completely lost in thought.

How could he be that lucky?

She was young, beautiful and sweet.

Sure, she was clumsy and didn't always behave like a perfect lady, but that just made him lover her even more.

Love...he' never thought he would give in to it one day.

And now that he did, it felt incredibly wonderful.

With a loving smile he placed a last kiss on her hair so that Tonks smiled in her sleep und snuggled up closer to his chest. He doused the candles with a swing of his wand, placed it back on the table and closed his eyes.

.

_When the sun slowly set, Sirius woke up in his bed...but he was not alone..._

_"So, did you enjoy last night?" mumbled Ben grinning as he opened his eyes. _

_Sirius' heart started to race. _

_"What?!" he said huskily. _

_"Come on, you still liked it a few hours ago..." replied Ben grinning and reached out his hand. _

_Sirius wanted to back away, taking a suspiciously deep breath... _

The Animagus woke with a start, sitting upright in his bed, sweat beads on his cold skin...and he was alone. His room was completely dark and so he hastily fumbled for the lamp on his bedside table as he felt that old, familiar feeling threateneing to take his breath away. When his room was suddenly illuminated, he fell back into his pillow and tried to calm his heavy breathing.

_Why did he dream something like that?_

_Why did he always blame Ben, even subconsciously?_

_Maybe he was afraid that he wasn't as averse from Ben as he persuaded himself?_

_Bullshit..._

Annoyed by his own thoughts, Sirius shook his head and got out of bed.

.

He wouldn't find any sleep now anyway, so he shuffled down into the kitchen and made a strong cup of tea. When the post-owl knocked on the window he tossed her a owl-biscuit and browsed through the Daily Prophet in boredom. After a few minutes he put the newspaper aside again and took a deep breath. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't push the incident with Ben to the back of his mind, especially because they would meet again at the meeting in a few hours.

How would he behave?

Would he act as if nothing ever happened?

Or avoid him?

Why was he worrying at all?

And if he didn't let it show? Then everything would probably go back to normal after a while...wouldn't it?

How was that even supposed to work?!

Every handshake, every embrace, even every eye contact would be awkward and unpleasant.

Sirius' initial shock may have died away but the musing about the next step didn't make it any better.

And then there was still this dream...

Maybe Remus was right, maybe everything would clear up if they brought back the memories.

They had been completely drunk, taken off their clothes in their alcohol-logic and gone to sleep, not noticing who was lying next to them...that was all.

But what if not?

What if he and Ben...no!

He didn't even want to think about that.

Not a single inch closer to a solution, Sirius went upstairs again to feed Buckbeak.

.

"Morning, Dora," mumbled Remus and bent over his dozing girlfriend.

"Mmm..." mumbled the pink-haired witch smiling.

He slowly started to stroke her side while placing lingering kisses on her neck. When his hand moved onto her stomach and then up her chest she eventually opened her eyes.

"What are you up to, Mr. Lupin?" purred Tonks, but at the same time she bent her neck into his direction.

"You'll see," replied Remus grinning and kissed her collarbone.

Now her hands started to move, too, stroking over his back and running through his hair.

"Why don't you wake me up like that more often?" asked Tonks chuckling while he kept kissing her.

But he just shrugged his shoulders...until her hands wandered down to his boxer, making him flinch.

They exchanged a mischievous grin and Remus rolled over her...

.

"Here," he said gently half an hour later and handed her the shirt he had worn the day before.

"Thanks, wolfie," said Tonks smiling, still breathing heavier than normal.

"I know you're constantly freezing recently," replied Remus smirking and watched her pull the shirt over the top she had already put on.

"I know, I'm a sissy in that point...but this house is just too bloody cold," said Tonks and lifted the blanket for him.

"Well, I can see that," said Remus grinning and perked his eyebrows up as he nodded at her breast.

"Hey! It's not my fault!" laughed Tonks and wrapped the shirt around her chest with both hands.

"Never mind," chuckled Remus and pulled her into his arms.

"Thanks for the nice wake-up call," said Tonks smirking while drawing invisible hearts on his chest with her finger.

"You're welcome!"

After a while of cuddling Remus suggested to go downstairs and eat breakfast. So Tonks added some leggings and thick, fluffy socks to her strange outfit.

"And you think this is warm enough?" asked Remus doubtingly as he put on a longsleeve shirt before he pulled a warm flannel shirt over it.

"Those are special leggings, believe me, they're warm! Now I'll only have to put on a skirt later on and I'm ready to go," said Tonks with a beaming smile while her head was already occupied with her shift in the afternoon.

Remus, however, just watched his Dora with a loving smile.

His shirt was so long, it almost covered half of her thigh, making her look like she was wearing some strange dress.

They looked up from their newspaper and cereal from time to time, a loving look in their eyes and a beaming smile on their lips. Tonks' thoughts only circled around Remus and how happy she was with him, leaving no room for other things.

"I guess I should go upstairs and get ready for work. My shift starts at half past one," mumbled Tonks and emptied her cup as she looked up at the clock.

"Hmm, well, I guess..." mumbled Remus confused about her preplanning...it was only half past ten. But then again, it was Tonks and there were always new things about her making him wonder. The other Order members would be here for the meeting in less than an hour anyway, so he didn't say anything else.

If he only had mentioned it...

.

At around eleven o'clock Tonks stepped into Remus' room and he was mildly surprised that she was still wearing her strange men's-shirt-leggings combination. Her hair, however, was definitely washed and bound back into a pony-tail.

"Um, I think I'll already go downstairs, Dora," said Remus, knitting his brows at the sight of his girlfriend.

"Okay, I'll be with you in a minute," said Tonks smiling.

_Hmm, that's odd...sounds like he wants to go somewhere..._, thought Tonks but eventually she just shrugged her shoulders and walked into her room.

Remus' wolfish ears already heard most of the others' voices from the kitchen as he walked down the stairs.

"...Umbridge...stricter legislations..."

_Kingsley_.

"Hrmm."

_Moody._

Remus grinned. Even the grumpy Auror wouldn't be able to bring him down today...not after this morning.

"...soup's already on the stove..."

_Molly._

With his hands in his pockets Remus stepped into the kitchen. His smile just seemed glued to his face with a permanent sticking charm today...

"Hello everyone!" greeted the Werewolf everyone around.

He spotted all the usual faces except for one...Ben was still missing.

"Remus, my dear!" greeted Molly him. "How are you? You look good! Much healthier!"

She motherly evened the shirt on his shoulders with her hand, a big smile on her face.

"I'm fine, thank you," replied Remus and turned away to look for Sirius in the crowd.

When his eyes met his friend's, there was something in his look. Something telling Remus that Sirius knew exactly what, or better who, made him smile like that.

But then the Animagus suddenly dropped his gaze and Remus immediately knew why.

"Hello," said Ben shyly before he walked over to Remus.

"How are you?" asked Remus in a low, worried tone.

"Could be better, to be honest. But you seem to be feeling great, huh?" replied Ben smirking, commenting on Remus' constant smile.

"You could say that, yes," replied Remus.

"By the way, where is Tonks?" asked Ben.

"She's still upstairs. If I didn't know better I'd say she forgot about the meeting...anyway, come on, let's sit down," said Remus as he nodded at Dumbledore who had just entered the kitchen.

.

The room was almost silent except for the low bubbling sound of the soup. They were still waiting for Tonks as Remus got up from his seat again to prepare some tea for everyone. And so he was standing in front of the kitchen counter with his back to the rest of the Order, as Tonks slowly walked down the stairs.

She was humming her favourite song, nearly dancing to it as she walked in her fluffy socks, while her thoughts circled around nothing but Remus again. There could have been a mountain troll standing in her way, she wouldn't have noticed until she bumped into it.

Remus could hear her cheerful hum approaching from the hallway when suddenly everything went silent.

Two arms wrapped around Remus' waist from behind his back and a small figure snuggled up to his back.

"Can you make another cup for me, wolfie?" asked Tonks grinning.

As soon as he felt her arms around him, Remus' whole body tensed up and the tea tin nearly slid from his hand.

_Oh no..._

He suppressed the urge to claw his fingers into the countertop. The kitchen was filled with a tense dead silence; you could've heard a pin drop. Remus could feel the others' confused and shocked gazes on his back...after a few seconds he eventually forced himself to look over his shoulder.

_Damnit..._

"Tonks...I think you better go and change your clothes," mumbled Remus nervously.

There she was, looking up at him with a beaming, but slowly fading, smile, still clad in her fluffy socks and his shirt from the morning.

Then, at least, the Penny dropped and Remus could have sworn he had heard the matching jingling sound.

Tonks' eyes widened and she inhaled deeply.

_The Order meeting!_

_Everyone was already there!_

How could she forget about that? How could she miss all those people in the corner of her eye?

Remus was still supporting himself on the counter; his cheeks were burning too much to turn around yet.

Tonks, however, gathered all her courage and slowly let go of him to turn around.

_FUCK!,_ she thought thunderstruck.

The whole Order was staring at her; some seemed utterly confused, some rather amused.

_She had hugged him!_

_Called him wolfie!_

_In front of everyone else!_

_And she was still wearing his shirt!_

"Excuse me," mumbled Tonks sheepishly and hurried out of the kitchen before the tears could run down her cheeks.

She had only just reached the foot of the steps when she felt the first teardrop falling from her eye...

.

Remus took another deep breath, swallowed hard before and walked back to the table, avoiding the others' eyes, to sit down next to Bill.

No doubt, they were all staring at him while more and more blood rushed into his cheeks.

Sirius' shamelessly wide grin, Molly's piercing, scrutinizing look and Dumbledore's mild smirk.

"Congratulations, wolfie," whispered Bill grinning and patted his shoulder.

"Is there anything you'd like to explain to us, Remus?" asked Kingsley chuckling.

"When it comes to wanting to explain anything, then no, thank you very much," mumbled Remus, feeling his cheeks redden even more.

A few moments later Tonks entered the room again; she had changed her clothes and sat down next to Ben, her eyes focused on the floor the whole time.

"I think we can start the meeting, then," said Dumbledore cheerfully and smiled at everyone around.

Remus carefully lifted his gaze to look over at Tonks but she was constantly looking at the wooden tabletop, funbling around with her hands underneath it.

She was screwing up her mouth and chewing on her lip...something she always did unwittingly when she was nervous or feeling uncomfortable.

But as soon as Dumbledore declared the meeting closed and thanked Molly for preparing lunch for everyone, Tonks jumped up from her chair, nearly knocking it to the floor, and hurried out of the room again, the members' curious gazes following her.

"Dora!" whispered Remus more to himself and stood up, too. "Excuse me..."

Now that Remus had left the room, too, all eyes turned to Sirius, who just lifted his hands in a repulsing gesture.

"No way, guys, that's not my job!" laughed the Animagus and refused to answer any questions.

.

"Dora!" said Remus worriedly as he quickly stopped the door Tonks had tried to slam behind her.

"Hey..." he whispered softly as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

She had rolled up in a ball on her bed; arms wrapped around her tucked up legs.

At this sight he just couldn't bite back a loving, yet worried, smile.

"How can anyone be so stupid?! How could I forget about it? I ruined everything..." she said upset.

"You didn't ruin anything, Dora! Come here, I'm sorry. I was just too surprised to move, I should have said something," mumbled Remus and reached out to pull her into his arms.

"It's not your fault...but we still wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while! And what do I do? Walk into the kitchen with your shirt on...how embarrassing! Merlin, there's nothing more obvious than wearing a man's shirt. Now everyone knows what we did this morning!" replied Tonks between sobs.

"Just come here, Dora!" said Remus smiling as he pulled her into his lap. "It's really impressive how you could block out everything around you like that, but hey! At least we don't have to come up with some awkward confession anymore...and to be honest, I'm rather relieved and...glad. No more hiding! I love you, no matter how clumsy you are sometimes!"

"I love you, too!", mumbled Tonks sheepishly. "You know, I'm just too happy with you and I couldn't think about anything else all morning..."

He interrupted her rambling with a lingering kiss.

"Come on, I think there are some people waiting for us downstairs," said Remus grinning as he stood up and offered her his hand.

"But I don't want to go back down..." mumbled Tonks chuckling.

"We have to go through this now. Molly made lunch for everyone," replied Remus.

"But I'm not hungry at all!" said Tonks less than convincing.

"I think she made mac and cheese..." said Remus casually because he knew he'd get her with that.

"Damnit...alright," she grumbled with a sigh and stood up.

Hand in hand they walked down the stairs. The old, familiar hum of voices sounded from the kitchen again. When they were only a few steps away from the kitchen door, Remus suddenly felt a strange, queasy feeling spreading in his stomach and doubting thoughts flooded his mind.

_What did they think?_

_Would they be happy for them or would they think the same way he had initially?_

_He was dangerous, a social risk..._

But as Tonks squeezed his hand a little he quickly pushed the doubts aside and led her into the kitchen. From one second to the next everyone went quiet again and all eyes were on the "new" couple. Remus cleared his throat nervously and started to speak.

"Err, I think there's something you should know," he said, carefully watching their reaction.

Moody's gaze was unreadable as always while Kingsley and all the other watched them with a curious smile on their faces. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled cheerfully behind his glasses and Molly somehow looked as if she'd dash off at them any moment.

"Tonks and I, we're..."

"We're together...have been for quite a while now. That's what Remus wanted to say. We wanted to tell you anyway, but...thanks to me that's not necessary anmore," said Tonks as her cheeks and hair turned dark red.

.

"I'm so happy for you two!" cheered Molly and pulled them into a big hug.

"Thank you, Molly," said Tonks grinning and her hair colour went back to its normal light pink.

"And you better look after her, Remus Lupin! She's already nearly braking her back because of this umbrella stand," added Molly grinning.

"Don't worry, I will," replied Remus chuckling.

"How nice of you...I'm standing right here, Molly," laughed Tonks.

"And how long has this been going, if I may ask?" mumbled Bill as he joined the conversation.

Tonks had walked over to Kingsley and Moody in the meantime.

"Well, hard to tell, since autumn, I'd say," said Remus sheepishly and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I knew there was something or someone doing you good!" said Molly triumphantly while she kept stirring her soup.

"Yes, she really does," said Remus with a blissful smile.

"And she deserves someone like you, you're one of the good guys, Remus," said Ben and patted his shoulder before he walked over to Ben, who was still sitting at the table by himself, looking a little lost.

"Listen to him, boy! I know what you might think...she deserves better and all that. But that's rubbish! Tonks's a good, honest girl and if she wants to be with you then that's it!" said Molly with a knowing smile as she saw the worry lines on Remus' forehead.

He looked down at her in surprise but then he nodded and walked over to the rest.

"Well, I guess this beats my New Year's Eve story tenfold when it comes to embarrassment, huh?" asked Tonks her cousin with rosy cheeks.

"Easily!" laughed the Animagus barking. "At least we all know now that man's shirts suit you."

"On the one hand I was surprised, but on the other hand it seems logical to me," said Kingsley in his deep voice.

"What do you mean?" asked Tonks curiously.

"Well, back when you were at the hospital or during this whole Palmer-thing...Remus was somehow...different. Sure, we were all worried , but there was something about him. The way he held your hand while you were in a coma; he's been with you the whole time," explained Kingsley smiling.

"And he nearly mauled Palmer, at least he looked at him as if he wanted to," grumbled Moody with a crooked grin.

"Are you talking about me?" asked Remus smirking as he stepped closer.

"Yes, about you and your mincing machine qualities towards perverted, spoiled brats," joked Sirius grinning.

"Ah," said Remus smiling before Molly called everyone to the table to eat.

"Oh, by the way, Kingsley...when should I call on you at the Ministry? Because of the letter, I mean," said Remus a little nervous.

"How about tomorrow at three o' clock?" replied the Auror friendly.

Remus felt much lighter and more relaxed as he placed a kiss on Tonks' forehead before she left for work half an hour later.

.

"Hey, Darling..." mumbled the pink haired witch in the evening as she entered the living-room where Remus was sitting with a cup of tea and several papers.

"Hey! How was your day?" asked Remus and his face lit up at her sight. He immediately stood up to pull her into his arms and she gratefully leant against his chest, nuzzling it with her nose.

"Exhausting. There's only paperwork to do but it's pretty stressful anyway," mumbled Tonks into his shirt.

"Well, how about you sit down and I get you a cup of tea from the kitchen and-"

"And some chocolate cookies?" asked Tonks and fluttered her eyelashes.

"And some chocolate cookies-"

"And the foot massage you still owe me?" added Tonks with puppy eyes.

"Owe you?" asked Remus amused. "Alright then...and your foot massage."

With these words he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and left the room for a few minutes.

.

"What have I done to deserve this?" asked Tonks happily, munching on some cookies, and snuggled into the pillows while Remus kneaded her cold feet at the other end of the sofa.

"Whatsh shad by she way?" asked Tonks with her mouth full and nodded at the papers on the table.

"My papers. I'll meet up with Kingsley tomorrow," explained Remus.

"Hey, it will be fine!" said Tonks reassuringly after swallowing the cookie. "He wouldn't have wrote to you if he didn't think you were the right one."

"It's just strange. And this will cause a lot of trouble in the future, promise! Umbridge's already taking over Hogwarts; I bet she won't approve of Werewolves working at the Ministry," replied Remus sarcastically.

"So what? Umbridge's not the only big cheese at the Ministry! Kingsley's pretty highly esteemed, too. If he thinks that something's a good idea, then most people will believe him. You're just worrying too much, wolfie," said Tonks and sat up to place a kiss on his cheek.

"If you say so...and you, did you stomach the shock already?" he replied.

"Well, it's strange that the rest of the Order know of us now. But I also quite enjoy it, behaving normally around them and all that, you know. How about you?" said Tonks smiling and carefully blew on the surface of her tea to cool it down.

"I'm...I don't know, I'm somewhat proud of it. I mean, I never thought I'd ever fall in love. Especially not with someone as wonderful as you. I'm relieved they were all so happy for us. They could've been much more critical, having the same doubts as I used to have, you know," mumbled Remus tiredly.

"Listen to me," she said and sat up again. "You're a great guy, so stop criticising yourself. And about the others: they know you, some of them for a long time. And they know that I'm in good hands with you. Stop racking your brain over it...you old, stubborn canine, you!"

"Maybe you're right," chuckled Remus and placed a hand under her cheek as he sealed her lips with his...

_Maybe she was right..._


	33. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**.o.O.o.**

**Hey there! **

**I just thought I leave a quick note here for those of you who want to read the third part of this story. **

**It's called "It always turned out all right"**

**I hope you enjoy it and I'm looking forward to seeing you again :) **

**Take care!**

**xo PablosGirl**

**.o.O.o.**


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